my heart sank

It's been well over two months now that I've been back to work and, more importantly, Lovie's been in daycare and we've been apart during the day.  It still hurts like hell to drop her off every day but I've definitely gotten more used to it.  Until today.

Today marks the second day I've carried Lovie into daycare sans the car seat.  She's 15 pounds (ish) on top of how many pounds the car seat is and it's just too much work... particularly when I have to pick her up and work my way around ten snot-nosed faces looking up at me to see if I'm their momma, their rescue to get back out the door.

But then I had to run to the grocery store during my lunch break earlier for snacks/lunches for the week, and when I got back to my car with the bags, my heart sank. My eyes drifted, naturally, to the back seat to where Lovie sits every time we get in the car.  And instead of the car seat base, there sat an empty car seat with her red hand-knitted blanket (by me!) and hippo toy but no Lovie.

God I miss her so. I just... uck. I just can't wait to get out of here so that I can pick her up and hold her.

(Unrelated: I know the girls at her daycare must think I'm nuts. I've been there plenty of times holding Lovie, kissing on her, when another parent comes and goes. I'm sure they're probably like, "Why not take the kid and go already?" and I would love to but it sucks hair pimply balls because when I leave with Lovie, it's to put her in the back seat of the car where I can't see her - and that goes on for almost an hour before we get home! And then she's usually asleep - so those moments I get with Lovie when I pick her up from daycare are so precious to me. Like gold!!)

...45 minutes love bug!!

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