I've talked about this several other times on this blog since starting it 20 months ago... why I'm most likely on Team One and Done. At first I harbored a lot of guilt about even thinking that we were on this team but as time progresses and as friends and family near and dear expand their families and we don't, I become more certain that the team we've chosen is most definitely the right one. FOR US.
Why the decision to have only one child?
In no particular order...
* I'm 39. I suffered one missed miscarriage before becoming pregnant with Lovie nine months later. I have absolutely no desire to go through the ups and downs of trying to conceive. No desire whatsoever. Yes, much of that has to do with fear- particularly the fear of miscarrying again or the fear of getting my hopes up only for them to be squashed.
* But more than the fear, I'm just tired. And the thought of getting pregnant again and staying pregnant for another nine months exhausts me. Just the thought of it exhausts me, imagine how I'd actually be if I were pregnant and caring for a 2 year old. No thanks. I mean, if it happens, it happens but we're not trying and ... just no thank you.
* Lovie completes me. As cheesy and cliche and whatever else you want to say as it is, it's true. The moment she was born, the moment I heard her cry out, the moment I laid eyes on her... I just knew this was it. She was the reason for life and my life was complete.
* I get to gush and gush and gush about her and only her and not feel guilty about doing so. I don't have to divide my attention between two or three or four other kids.
* I get to focus everything on to Lovie. Sure I could spoil her rotten with toys and clothes and other meaningless (when it comes down to it) crap, but I don't; instead, she gets my full attention and there's no guilt for doing so.
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