a bit of a confession

That's right, I've got a bit of a confession to share. It may not come as a big shock to some people, but it is to me. It's the first time I've felt like this since having Lovie and, well, you can check it all out over at Shell's place:

I'd really love it if you'd visit me there today.

Thanks, Shell for having me.

GUEST POST: Coconut Butter Poached Lobster Served with Delicious Smoked Clams and Cauliflower Recipe

Written by Kendra Thornton

Coconut Butter Poached Lobster Served with Delicious Smoked Clams and Cauliflower Recipe

Without doubt, the best vacation of my life is the most recent one we spent at the stunning Kimpton Hotel ranked amongst some of the top hotels in Miami. I wanted to take a taste of our amazing experiences back home to share with everyone in Chicago, so I was thrilled when I discovered this decadent recipe from Area 31 Restaurant and Bar. Not only is it a taste of Miami, it is perfect for impressing guests!

Coconut Butter Poached Lobster:

- 4 cups lobster stock
- 1 piece of ginger, crushed
- 2 dried chilies
- 4 cups coconut milk
- 2 cups coconut butter
- 2 1½-lb lobsters (Nova Scotia are best)

Method:

- Bring the stock, chilies and ginger to a simmer. Add the coconut milk. When it reaches a simmer again, whisk in the coconut butter.

- Transfer the mixture to a 6-inch hotel pan with an immersion circulates. Set it to 135'F or 59’C run it and allow it to come to room temperature. A deep baking dish also works.
- Remove claws and tail and blanch in simmering salted water for 6 minutes.

- Remove lobsters from their shells when cool enough.
- Roast the lobster in a heavy-bottom pan for 15 minutes. Place them in a small stockpot with enough salted water to almost cover them. Bring the water to a boil and simmer for 2 hours.
- Split the tails down the middle. Season and sear them quickly on high heat. Put tails and claws into buerre monte, your butter sauce. After about four minutes, take them out.


Smoked Clams and Cauliflower:

- A couple handfuls of wood chips
- 2 cups cauliflower flowerets
- 8 small neck clams
- 16 oz. lobster stock
- 1 tbsp. coconut butter

In a 4 ½ hotel pan on a burner, throw in the wood chips and cover with shallower perforated half hotel pan. Put the cauliflower and clams into a pan covered with foil. When smoke starts to seep out, remove from heat. Repeat after letting stand for 10 minutes. Set clams aside.
Place cauliflower, liquid from smoked clams, and enough stock to cover halfway in a small stockpot. Simmer over medium heat until tender. Season to taste. Mash and fold in the coconut butter.

Mizuna Puree:

- 4 cups mizuna greens
- ½ cup spinach, blanched
- ½ fresh parsley, blanched
- ¼ cup coconut milk
- ¼ cup coconut butter

Blend all ingredients in a blender until very smooth.

To Serve:

On one side of the plate, spread some of the mizuna puree. Put some cauliflower and one-half lobster tail on top, with a claw. Top it off with a smoked clam and mizuna greens. I hope you enjoy this meal just as much as my husband and I do and I have to say I feel like quite the chef when I create it (but the secret is…it really isn’t very hard!)



Kendra Thornton, "former Orbitz Director of Communications and promoted into full time position in the care of Motherhood", can be found on Twitter @KendraThornton.


if you're interested in Guest Posting here, drop me a line at finallymom@gmail.com

Guest Post: Technology, Family, the Workplace – 5 Tips for a Working Mom

Written by Kristin Steward

Many working mothers will say being separated from your children and family during the work day is often very difficult and is a sacrifice many mothers make today. Luckily, through technology, working moms can connect with their families during the time they are at work.

1.       Screensavers and wallpaper – Your child or children can be part of your workday when you create a screen saver or wallpaper for your work station or mobile phone. You can have a family night taking funny pictures to make a “workday release” slideshow for your screensaver and wallpaper.

2.       Digital picture frames – Having a slide show of all of your favorite photos, on the corner of your desk, can bring a smile to your face in even the most stressful of situations. From your family vacation to Walt Disney World, to movie nights, to baking cakes and attending baseball games, these photos can fill your digital picture frame with your favorite family memories. Depending on how many of your favorite family memories you want to have with you at the office, you can get different sizes and features on your frame.

3.       Custom iPhone cases – Any photo of your newborn, family pet and family can be incorporated into the design of your iPhone case. Shutterfly has great options where you can add multiple pictures to your iPhone case. This will remind you that inside are the first videos and photos you and your spouse took while you were creating all your family memories. Look at them on your break and share them with your friends at work. It will give you that boost to get you through the rest of the day.

4.       Videos – If your baby is in daycare, many have cameras where you may check in from time to time. If your kids are at home with a nanny, Mr. Mom, the grandparents, or a friend you can use Skype to say a quick hello over your lunch break. You can also use Dropcam or Apple’s FaceTime to check in on your family pet, kids, and even your sick hubby anytime throughout your hectic workday!

5.       Social Networks – Facebook and Twitter can allow instant interaction with friends and family. You can share photos, status updates and check in with your family while at work. As we all know, social networking can be very time consuming, so make sure your activity online it is not distracting you from your work at hand!

Only you know the emotions that tear at you when you have to leave your family for the work day. When you leave for work and think about the hours that stand between you and your cherished family time, a pang of longing may take over. Fortunately, you can now begin to utilize some of the tips listed above to enjoy your family throughout the whole day! I can tell you that they do help! 

Kristin Steward is a mom trying to fulfill a New Years resolution to write more. She can be found on Twitter @InstaMommy.

If you're interested in a Guest Post, drop me a line: finallymom@gmail.com.

Come Play with Me: 5

It's my Monday today, but it's really Wednesday. Super cool. Something else that's cool is that I have another edition of Come Play with Me Guest Post series and today's piece is written by one of my favorite bloggers and friend, Monica from Peeper Summarized. I swear to you, every time I click into her blog, I end up in tears in one way or the other because her writing is that touching, that moving, that emotional, that beautiful. And her love of motherhood is sooo inspiring.

 

Anyhow, let's get on with Monica's take on 2012...

 

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When Christina asked who might like to write a little somethin' about what they learned this year or what they were looking forward to for next year I shot her an email right away. Duh! Of course! I could knock this out in a heartbeat. New Years is my thing.

It's not the Auld Lange Syne, party horns and champagne aspect of the new year that I love so much. It's the fresh start. Who doesn't love the opportunity to turn over a new leaf? Granted, this is a completely made-up time point and on January 1 none of us wakes up fundamentally any different than we were when we fell asleep on December 31. But possibility towers over every failed attempt and discouragement in our past. We get reacquainted with the idea of our own potential and that is what I love.

So imagine how stymied I was to sit down day after day and find that I wasn't inspired to write ANYTHING. There's been plenty going on so that wasn't the problem. Or maybe it was the problem: too busy to reflect about the past and future. For the past few years a theme or mantra, if you will, for the coming year just finds me. This isn't something that I have to consciously think about - something rich just filters out of all the reflection that seems to occur so naturally around this time of year. Usually, the theme/mantra/battle cry is something absolutely revolutionary to me. It drives the coming year in a way that New Years resolutions just can't do.

For example, in 2010 I was overwhelmed with gratitude. All I could think about as the new year rang in was how grateful I was that me, my daughter and my husband were alive and healthy.

In 2011 there was a lot of work to be done: history was waiting to be written. I had a necklace made with this exact phrase printed on it. I wore that necklace every time I anticipated a difficult day or any time I needed to be reminded that with every passing moment I was in control of which part of me would show up  - and I wanted it to be good.

This year we did all that work and the reward for it is that in the coming year nearly everything we know is going to change. For a control freak like me, this is disquieting at best and paralyzing at worst. Even good changes are still changes ... but that makes for one crappy mantra.

Tonight after Ada was in bed I lay covered up on the couch thinking about all the stuff I should be doing. Early pregnancy fatigue has settled in heavily and I'm dragging myself around to get the bare minimum basics taken care of - it's a miracle if I stay up much past 9:30. Laziness has it's silver lining though. In the middle of all that stillness a little voice in my head said something and it all clicked. Angels sang, clouds parted and I knew what 2012 would be all about for me. The little voice that represents the steadier side of me whispered confidently:

"You are exactly where you are meant to be."

Some people have known this their whole lives but this was a freaking revelation for me! From Buddhist reading I know, like, in-my-head-know-it, that this is what a good buddha should strive to know. But knowing it in your thoughts and really knowing it in your soul are such completely different things. This isn't the kind of thing that you can try to know either - your life experience just has to bring it to you. Once you realize it though... Click! you really know it. And my God, that is one incredibly freeing thing to realize. The guilt and angst of always feeling the need to be somewhere else doing something else has vanished. What an amazing gift.

It's OK to have been wherever you were - it was the right thing then.
It's OK to be headed somewhere intentionally - that's how we create our lives.
But it's also OK to be right where you are right now.
This is exactly where you are meant to be.

Turns out that there is a sweet prayer attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux that sums it all up so nicely:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Happy New Year to all and may you find your battle cry for 2012!

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See what I mean? Does she not have a way with words?! 

 

Please go on over to Peeper Summarized and check out more about Monica and her family and become as infatuated with her place (blog) as I am! I dare you NOT to.

 

Thanks for playing, Monica! : )

Come Play with Me: 4

It's another exciting day today as Melissa from MaMe Musings joins us to embark on episode four of my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

Melissa's super duper busy these days with her own blog, life, and I'm thinking her two adorable TWIN toddlers might have something to do with it, too, so I'm really grateful she took the time to play with us. Take note, too, cuz she's got some really great advice about how to approach the new year.

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My Birthday List

Thanks so much to Christina for having me over at Finally Mom today!! I am excited to be guest posting at one of the cutest, funniest blogs I know.

On most ordinary days, I can be found at my blog,MaMe Musings, sharing the joys and challenges of raising my 18 month old boy/girl twins, Emily and Andrew.



Originally when I thought about what I could share from my 2011, I envisioned a post about things like my extreme home make-over, my journey to complete (dis)organization, or my middle- of- the- night insecurities. Sort of a retrospective, if you will, highlighting all the, um, parenting experience and wisdom I gained the hard way along the way.

Then I thought about discussing all the fun things I am looking forward to in 2012: toddlers who can talk and argue back, potty-training not one but two kids who currently don’t mind poo, or the real “Terrible Twos” since apparently the tantrums we are now experiencing are just a precursor to the fun that is to come.



But, for some reason, none of these posts came forth. Like my pregnancy that eventually had to be induced, this post likewise seemed destined to be overdue.



What could I share to inspire other moms beyond cute pictures of my babies like this one?



And then it hit me like a sippy cup flying out of the back seat.

So, I hope you will indulge me as I take you back to end of 2010, to my 35th birthday, which I promise will bring us back to 2011 and into 2012:

In the midst of feeling like the weight of my birthday was going to crush me, Marty tried hard to perk me up by planning a birthday surprise that included an afternoon at the art museum sans babies.

As we strolled through the whiteness of the museum, I felt the tension between the peacefulness of the setting and my frenetic mind. Feeling more mixed up than an abstract painting, I had to work to slow down and soak in the serenity. Away from my cell phone, Facebook, and babies, Marty and I walked through the museum at our own pace. I felt keenly aware of the sanctity of life as I looked into the eyes through the ages. As I tried to place myself in the grandness of history, I realized anew that one of our greatest abilities is the ability to think, and for a while, I selfishly reveled in thinking deeply about the art that was before me. I realized much of the beauty was of the ordinary variety—a bowl of fruit, a couple in love, a sunrise, a man standing alone. As a new mom, I was drawn to the pictures of mothers with their children. Regardless of the time that separates us, the connection is the same, and I thanked God again for the opportunity to count myself among those who answer to name of “mommy.” In a time when the world seems to be shrinking, my stroll through the museum reminded me that there is still a big, wide world that awaits my visit. Just as art requires us to slow down and be intentional in our thoughts, I think the art of enjoying life requires some of the same intentionality. Don’t we all need to slow it down and appreciate the art of daily life just a little bit more?



Image Credit

One of my favorite teacher sayings and an art-inspired one at that is, “Attitude is the mind’s paintbrush,” and as I left the museum that day, I tried to color my attitude with a brighter hue.

I resolved to be more intentional about my happiness and about living my life. I resolved to quit using the babies as an excuse for not doing things and instead view them as the motivation for doing them. My babies deserved the best mommy possible.

And that was the start of my birthday list.

The idea was simple: 36 things I wanted to complete in my 36th year. There were big, broad items like (1) Be the best mommy I can be. And small, specific ones like (10) Learn to play poker. There were some serious, adult ones like (11) Re-evaluate my long-term finances. And childish, playful ones like (31) hang-gliding. Of course, there were the perfunctory ones like (24) Lose weight or (25) Eat healthier. I threw in random ones: (33) Watch a meteor shower and (21) learn to make a good mixed drink



(14) Support a charity (Go, Little Pink Houses of Hope!)

My 36th birthday came and went in November 2011, and as I look back on my list, I realize I accomplished probably two-thirds of my list. Some are a work in progress like (3) Take a good picture; some were started and not finished-- (8) reading a book a month; while others never even came close to happening—(5) a 5K. What was I thinking??

I almost typed that I just completed two-thirds, but I think adding just minimizes my effort. Sure I didn’t accomplish everything, but I certainly accomplished way more than I would have without the list.

First, the list made me think about what I wanted, needed, and valued. It made get specific, get motivated.

The list made me intentional.

While being the best mom I could possibly be was rightfully number one, I know that, ironically, this list helped me be a better mom, as I carved out time to feed my spirit, recharge my mommy batteries, and reconnect with the woman who I have grown to be.
Originally, I stated my ultimate goal for the list was “to use each day to the best of my ability, and hopefully arrive at 36, alive and healthy, rejuvenated and ready to find 36 new ways to love my life.” Again, I was pretty close. I am still working on “rejuvenated.” (I think a spa day is in order after putting up Christmas trees with twin toddlers!)

So am I making a “37 things to do before I am 37” list? I am actually contemplating a slight twist, a challenge I am calling 12 in 2012. In short, I will be identifying 12 core values I want to illuminate in 2012. Sound like a challenge you’d be interested in undertaking with me? Stay tuned to MaMe Musings for more details (coming right after I get started on my Christmas shopping and take down what remains of my decorations—ie. Somewhere around the first of January!)



I hope to see you in 2012. Until then, I hope you have a very happy (and intentional) end of 2011!

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As if her twins weren't cute enough and keep her busy enough, Melissa's got the brains to come up with what I think is a brilliant idea... 12 in 2012?! Man, I wish I had thought of it! As it is, I've been pondering on doing a 40 before 40 list (since I'll be turning the big 4-0 in September oh dear oh my) but 40 is a big number of things to come up with. 

I'm so grateful to have done this series; I've learned SO much- not only about each participant, but I also learned that it's time to look forward to 2012. It's time to make some plans and live life to the fullest. Yes, it's great to live life every day to the fullest, which I really try to do, but making a plan or two can't hurt, can it?

Anyway, thanks so much for playing Melissa! 



If anyone out there might be interested in playing, please shoot me an email at finallymom@gmail.com.

When Every Single Year Ends

I'm so excited! :)

A piece I've written about traditions coming to an end is being posted today over at MaMe Musings place! I shed some tears writing this piece, but it was so worth it... kind of made this holiday season more real and doable. Thanks to Melissa for allowing me to open up like this!

Go check it out, please- and let me know what you think. And check out Melissa and her adorable TWIN toddlers (I think my hair just got more gray just thinking about two Lovie's running around!) while you're at it, too!

Come play with me: 3

Today is Friday, Friday, Gotta Get down on Friday... and it's also time to get down with Heather from Life with the Ardies. She's lucky contestant number THREE in my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

 

Heather's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011- and prove to us all how crazy her life has been. I honestly cannot fathom doing all that she does so yes, I have to agree: girl's life be crazy!

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Hey everyone! My name is Heather and I’m a mess.

 

You see, five years ago my husband and I had the grand idea that both of us were going to go back to school and get our Ph.Ds in psychology. Together. At the same time. Yes, we had an idea what we were getting ourselves into. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But damn... I didn’t know it was going to test me like no other.

Now, we made it through each month with our measly student salaries. And we made it through a pregnancy, a birth on the first day of school, and two more years of school. We also made it through the educational budget crisis that left me with an unpaid internship.

That brings me to the present day. I’m a mess because I’m a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time student, full-time intern, and full-time whatever else I can’t think of at the moment. And because I’m FAR more productive at doing things I shouldn’t be doing compared to things I should (like dissertation, laundry, Pinterest, Facebook, etc), I’m sitting here reflecting on my crazy year and the things I’ve learned this year. For example, I’ve learned:

~ Potential employers are full of it. After applying for internships at the beginning of this year, I got a couple “We regret to inform you...” letters. Oh, come on!! LIARS! You don’t regret anything! This letter does not affect you in any way. I regret to tell you to shut the hell up!

~ Toddlers are much harder work than newborns, infants, and babies put together. Getting sleep in only 2-hr stretches has NOTHING on: Mommy! Mommy! Mom! Look! Look, Mommy! Look! It’s an airplane! Hey! Mommy! Look, a tree! Let’s count them. Mommy! Mom! Momma! Look! I know she’s excited about everything she’s experiencing in the world. I know she’s so happy she can articulate what she’s experienced. But Mommy just wants to play the quiet game right now.

~ Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean spending 3 hours on Pinterest when you should be working on reports. Like I have any time to make a t-shirt scarf or a bracelet out of nuts and bolts! Wait! Is that a pin for cookie dough truffles? Oh yeah, I DEFINITELY have time for that. Move over graduate school. You’ll have to wait a bit.

And if you’ve got anything from my post, I hope you caught the sarcasm and humor. I joke around. A lot. In all seriousness though.... It’s been one crazy year and I bitch about a lot of it on my blog. But I’m truly thankful for all the support I have in my life. I’ve made it this far without a diagnosis of some psychological disorder. And as crazy as my life gets at times, I think I’m ready for the challenge! Bring it, 2012!

 

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Ahhh don't you just adore that picture?! Since Heather told me I could use any pic from her blog, I had to steal it and pimp it out over here. I think it's a great representation for who Heather is- how she's got a great sense of humor, is smitten for her Babygirl and husband, and how all of this helps her maintain her sanity during these crazy busy times in her life.

 

I feel so very honored that she was able to make some time to play with me!

 

Thanks for playing, Heather!

 

 

 

(reading and want to play? email me your post: finallymom@gmail.com)

Come Play with Me: 2

Today is another special day. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the second (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And this one is from a newer blogging pal of mine, the first to actually submit a post to me, Jennifer from Just Jennifer. 

Jennifer's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011 and how she's gonna apply it moving forward- and it's a lesson that we all can take advantage of learning about (IMO, of course):

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When I saw what Christina suggested that other bloggers write about for her I was stumped.

“What are you looking forward to in 2012?  What is something you’re taking from 2011 and tucking in your memory pocket for later?”

I did the ole Winnie the Pooh “think, think, think” bit and managed to come up with something.

The older I get the more I notice running themes in my life.  Sometimes they’re even yearly themes.  In 2011 I believe my keywords were OPEN and SHED.

Not like open the shed!  Duh.  I mean, I learned to BE OPEN and SHED CRAP.

Shedding the crap from one’s life is hard.  Things like insecurities, resentments, expectations.  They have a strong hold.  But for me this year, I have felt so many of these things falling away from who I am.

I wish I could tell you how this is happening, but I really don’t know.  It could be experience and wisdom.  It could be perspective.  The perspective I get from loving someone with health problems.  I’m thinking it’s a combo of these.

I noticed the being open part when I basically “went public” with my blogging.  It was always technically public, but I wasn’t actively trying to grow my blog into something more than my personal journal until I had been doing it over a year.

Once I stepped out of my box, a whole new world opened up to me and I’m loving it.  As I began discovering more, I became open to the possibilities that lay before me.  And I feel like it’s become a new motto to live by: just be open to the possibilities.

In short, I am open without expectation.  Does that make any sense?

And moving forward into 2012, all I hope for is more of the same.  That I continue to learn and grow and change, stay open and keep shedding the unnecessary crap I carry around.

Thank you, Christina, for the opportunity to write this.  I’m glad I was open to it!  :-)

Jen is submitting this post to Lovelinks #35.

 

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It's amazing how being open and shedding the crap can empower a person, eh? I think if more people did this, we'd all get along a bit better because it may allow us to just move forward instead of holding grudges. But what do I know?

I do know that Jennifer is good people- and we have a lot in common. And that's reason enough for you to go and check her and her story out.
 

Thanks for playing, Jen!

Come play with me: 1

Today is special. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the first (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And I couldn't think of a better way to kick this off than with my good friend, Lisa (or LOG) from the O'Gs!

Lisa's chosen to tell us about what she's looking forward to in 2012, and I just want to tell you all, right here and right now, that this chica is one fiercely strong mama of two beautiful toddlers- and her post proves why. Rather than focus on the negatives in her life, she's looking ahead to the good and really, only the good. Incredible, really.

Check it out for yourself:

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Howdy!! I'm Lisa (or LOG, whichever) from The O'Gs.  I'm thrilled to be posting here at Christina's blog today.  Christina is a very good friend of mine and we've experienced some of the joy and heartache of being mamas together.  She guest posted for me back in October and I am happy to return the favor.

Welcome 2012!

So 2011 was a rough year for my family.   My father-in-law passed away in January.  My mom has gotten worse and worse.  The second half started looking up.  I got a new job, my husband got promoted.  However, I'm hoping that the "new year, new start" mantra will work for us in 2012.  So, here, for your reading pleasure, is what I am looking forward to in 2012.

January

The Bears being in the playoffs.  This will happen.

Getting together with family to remember my FIL.  This will be sad, it will be emotional, there will be tears.  But there will also be laughter, love, and happy stories.  Oh and alcohol.  Lots of alcohol.

Oh and Conan.  Because Conan is supposed to be here in January!!

February

The Bears winning the Super Bowl.  :)

March

My baby boy turning 3.  THREE YEARS OLD.  You read that right.  I will have a three year old in March.  I cannot even begin to wrap my head around THAT.

The beginning of Spring.  Hopefully.  It's Chicago.  You never know.

April

Easter.  Not because I'm religious, but because it will be the first major holiday gathering at my husband's grandmothers since the holidays.  And I love the family I married into.

Grilling!! This is usually when we start grilling on a regular basis.  And I love me some BBQ.

May

Our off-roading trip to Arkansas.

Mother's Day (which may or may not be a little sad, considering the very real possibility it will be my first without my mom).

The beginning of good weather (most likely, it's STILL Chicago).

June

Summer time.  Playing outside till 8 at night, long days, rolling around in the grass, playing at the park, going to the zoo.

Cocktails outside in the backyard after the kids go to bed.

July

The 4th. Celebrating with the family.

The heart of summer.  Days in the pool, the sprinkler.  Being outside even though its 95 degrees because dammit, my kids want to play in their kiddie pool.

August

Celebrating seven years with my husband (not married, just together).

Enjoying the remainder of summer with hopefully a little bit cooler of weather.

September

The start of football.

Fall.

My birthday.

Our vacation to the east coast.

October

REAL FALL.

Our annual off road trip.

My baby girl turning TWO.  She just turned one, she can't turn TWO!!

My husband's birthday.

Halloween, and trick or treating and seeing my kids in their costumes.

November

Our 5th wedding anniversary.

Thanksgiving.   Turkey.  Food.  Lots of it.

December

The holiday season.

St. Nick's day.

Christmas and everything that goes with it.  It's the most magical time of the year, especially when you have two beautiful, amazing, wonderful kids to share it with.

I'm looking forward to a fresh start in 2012.  I'm looking forward to good times, happy times, fun times outweighing the bad and sad.  Here's to you, 2012.



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Ack, I just adore that photo of Maggie and her brother PJ! : )

I implore you all to please visit Lisa's blog to get to know her a little better and get a better understanding for why I think she's one of the strongest women I know; please follow her blog to show some support (she may be strong, but we all need support in horrifically trying times in any way we can get!); and please...PLEASE keep her and her family in your thoughts this season as her mother literally loses her life to one of the most cruel, most disgusting, appalling diseases I've ever heard of- ALS.

Lisa, I love you and am honored to call you my friend.