Freezing time

Bliss is watching your child glow from doing something they absolutely love to do but don't get the chance to do it too often.

This past Saturday we took a long drive out to a friends house for a birthday party for a brand new 3-year-old. The weather, while threatening to rain, actually ended up being quite perfect. Especially for two hours of pony rides. There was Dolly (left) who was bigger and so pretty and then there was Macaroni (right) who was dolled up like a unicorn, of course. What birthday party is complete without a unicorn?!

Lovie was in heaven during all of the party. Aside from the two hours of pony rides, there were leaves with kid-size rakes to be raked, pizza and cake, and a sandbox.

But the absolute highlight was seeing her face washed with a smile around those ponies.

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Bliss is watching a lonely old man realize how loved and cared for he really is.

This past Sunday we threw a surprise party for my dad's 80th birthday. It wasn't very lavish and there were only about 25 people (local family) in attendance, but it was perfect because the surprise was an absolute success-- in the end.

My dad almost ruined the surprise by driving downtown instead of being home when my nephew went to pick him up, but luckily my nephew called him and ordered him back to the burbs where the party was being held in a pizza place near Lovie's school. We all watched from the party room (located upstairs) when my dad finally arrived and started frantically waving his arms around while his face got red because of whatever he was bitching about to my poor nephew. Something about how he had to rush everywhere because  "nobody can-ah answer the phone-ah when [he] calls-ah."

Seeing his reaction after he opened the door to the party and after everyone shouted SURPRISE made my heart fill with so much warmth. He looked so happy, so pleasantly surprised, as everyone lined up to give him a hug and wish him a Happy Birthday.

There was lots of laughter, running around, frosting being thrown, tickles... We had calamari, spinach dip and tortilla chips, salad, pasta, pizza and pop.

Several people told me how great it was for me to throw the party and while that was sweet of them to say, I just don't understand why it's a big deal. The man turned 80. Granted 80 isn't 100, but 80 is still a big friggin deal. Why not let someone know you care about them today before it's too late?!

I mean, I didn't throw it to be thanked. I didn't throw it because it was expected. I threw it because a) he's old and turned EIGHTY, b) he needs to understand that people really do still care about him even though he's living in a retirement home and doesn't always hear from us. And all of that was very much accomplished so yay!

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Bliss is feeling your baby girl's hand reach for your hand to hold onto while she drifts to sleep.

This love of mine did just that this morning at about 4:30 after she came in our room because she had to go potty. After she did her business, she sleepily said, "I go sleep in mama and daddy's bed now" while she slumbered into her room to grab her pillow and Grandmabear. She climbed up into our bed and planted herself in the middle between Taye and me, and a couple minutes later, she took my hand, which was near my face, and held onto it while she brought it closer to her. Slowly I could feel her grip lessen as she drifted off to sleep.

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There are times when you wish you could just freeze time. These are some of mine lately. What are some of yours?

TILTW: 5/19-25

* Lovie is truly learning more and more every single day. I know this, but then there are moments when she really kinda sticks it to us with how vastly she's learning. Like the hashbrown/potatoes incident on Saturday. Or the ease in which she puts her ABC puzzle, which she hasn't touched in months, together. Or the way she totally understood that if she didn't stop screaming when we were in the car the other day (because I wouldn't let her hold the steaming hot personal pizza I got her for dinner), she wouldn't get to watch TV when we got home. (That last one really amazed me. I was tantruming right along with Lovie because she was so loud and then I took in a deep breath and said in a soft, calm voice "If you don't stop screaming, no TV when we get home." And she let out a quick whimper and that was all she wrote!)

* I've eaten low carb since Monday and am down 5 pounds. I didn't think I could do it again (I followed Atkins back in 2004-5 with immense success but then gained it all back and then some- which murdered my gusto at doing it ever again... or so I thought), but I've been struggling internally for a couple months now and I just had to do something. I tried Weight Watchers last year and lost 30 pounds but gained it all back, and eating low carb is so much easier for me than counting calories and figuring out what the points are to foods. Plus, because I have mild diabetes, it's best I stay away from all sugar and ... I just felt so fucking amazing, so alive when I was low carbing. And I so desperately want that feeling back because now I've got my Lovebug to share that energy with. Wish me luck. Please, wish me luck.

* Last night was a bit rough in the Finally household. We've been talking about Lovie giving the binky (pacifier) away for months, but since she only is allowed it at home and in bed, we haven't pushed it much. Yesterday morning, however, she woke and wanted to give her binky to a new baby at her school (a baby of one of her favorite teachers). We put it in a jewelry box and everything. She told daddy she was going to do this and held onto that box all the way to school, proudly telling me how she was going to give the binky to [Baby's name] and "she's going to be sooo happy, Mama."

When we got to school, I told Lovie that I would hold onto the binky until after school since the baby wasn't there yet and when I picked her up, we'd give the binky to the baby. She was cool with this. When I picked her up... the teacher and baby had just left. But Daddy and I decided to go through with it and we met at Target where Lovie spent more than one hour looking at all the toys. 

We left the store with a new toy cash register (which is pretty badass I must say) (the new toy is a reward for being a big girl and giving up the binky). When it was time for bed, Lovie wanted her binky (Rut Roh) and grandmabear. We told her she could have her grandmabear to snuggle, of course, but that the binky was gone because she's such a big girl. Our regular routine went out the window, of course. Lovie wanted her binky (and really, I don't blame her- poor thing).

It took about 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep- but it was done so without the binky. This morning, she woke insanely early and I'm sure it's because there was no binky to nom on and go back to sleep. :(  

I know she can sleep without it because she does it all the time at school and in the car... but it still hurts to see her hurt. I mean, she didn't just cry for it, she literally flopped around with arms flailing, back arched. We remained super calm and quiet and assured her she could do this and that we're super proud of her. I held her (as best as I could) and sang softly to her early on in that 45 minutes. She settled down for a couple minutes but then would get super worked up again. Like I said it took about 45 minutes from the time she was put in bed till she fell asleep. We'll see what this weekend brings, eh? It won't bring her a binky but hopefully it will get easier for her...

Help!

The bear shown was gifted to Lovie at birth. She was scared of it at first (it plays a song), but now... now I don't think she'd be able to sleep without it. We've been fortunate to talk her into keeping it in her bed, only, so that she's not dragging it around the house, the car, school, etc, but it wasn't always like this and the thing has seen much better days.

The song it plays isn't really important (it's a Beatles song, "I Will", sung by a female/possibly child in a super high pitch) as she generally doesn't even like it when it plays (you have to press a paw to activate), but what's important is that we find a replica of the bear itself... its size, the texture.

We are sincerely growing very concerned over this thing falling apart. As it is the hat is super close to becoming detached, we can't really wash it (other than spot cleaning it). We NEED a new one. We NEED one on hand just in case.

If you've seen one or have any ideas where we can look, please email me at finallymom@gmail.com.

Thanks SO much.