TILTW: 5/19-25

* Lovie is truly learning more and more every single day. I know this, but then there are moments when she really kinda sticks it to us with how vastly she's learning. Like the hashbrown/potatoes incident on Saturday. Or the ease in which she puts her ABC puzzle, which she hasn't touched in months, together. Or the way she totally understood that if she didn't stop screaming when we were in the car the other day (because I wouldn't let her hold the steaming hot personal pizza I got her for dinner), she wouldn't get to watch TV when we got home. (That last one really amazed me. I was tantruming right along with Lovie because she was so loud and then I took in a deep breath and said in a soft, calm voice "If you don't stop screaming, no TV when we get home." And she let out a quick whimper and that was all she wrote!)

* I've eaten low carb since Monday and am down 5 pounds. I didn't think I could do it again (I followed Atkins back in 2004-5 with immense success but then gained it all back and then some- which murdered my gusto at doing it ever again... or so I thought), but I've been struggling internally for a couple months now and I just had to do something. I tried Weight Watchers last year and lost 30 pounds but gained it all back, and eating low carb is so much easier for me than counting calories and figuring out what the points are to foods. Plus, because I have mild diabetes, it's best I stay away from all sugar and ... I just felt so fucking amazing, so alive when I was low carbing. And I so desperately want that feeling back because now I've got my Lovebug to share that energy with. Wish me luck. Please, wish me luck.

* Last night was a bit rough in the Finally household. We've been talking about Lovie giving the binky (pacifier) away for months, but since she only is allowed it at home and in bed, we haven't pushed it much. Yesterday morning, however, she woke and wanted to give her binky to a new baby at her school (a baby of one of her favorite teachers). We put it in a jewelry box and everything. She told daddy she was going to do this and held onto that box all the way to school, proudly telling me how she was going to give the binky to [Baby's name] and "she's going to be sooo happy, Mama."

When we got to school, I told Lovie that I would hold onto the binky until after school since the baby wasn't there yet and when I picked her up, we'd give the binky to the baby. She was cool with this. When I picked her up... the teacher and baby had just left. But Daddy and I decided to go through with it and we met at Target where Lovie spent more than one hour looking at all the toys. 

We left the store with a new toy cash register (which is pretty badass I must say) (the new toy is a reward for being a big girl and giving up the binky). When it was time for bed, Lovie wanted her binky (Rut Roh) and grandmabear. We told her she could have her grandmabear to snuggle, of course, but that the binky was gone because she's such a big girl. Our regular routine went out the window, of course. Lovie wanted her binky (and really, I don't blame her- poor thing).

It took about 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep- but it was done so without the binky. This morning, she woke insanely early and I'm sure it's because there was no binky to nom on and go back to sleep. :(  

I know she can sleep without it because she does it all the time at school and in the car... but it still hurts to see her hurt. I mean, she didn't just cry for it, she literally flopped around with arms flailing, back arched. We remained super calm and quiet and assured her she could do this and that we're super proud of her. I held her (as best as I could) and sang softly to her early on in that 45 minutes. She settled down for a couple minutes but then would get super worked up again. Like I said it took about 45 minutes from the time she was put in bed till she fell asleep. We'll see what this weekend brings, eh? It won't bring her a binky but hopefully it will get easier for her...