March 14, 2012

pink pink PINK

Rumor has it that when we were little, my brother dominated with his left hand but my dad pretty much forced him to use his right hand.

My dad forced him to rewrite things with his right hand, throw a ball with his right hand, use a fork with his right; my dad forced my brother to become right-handed.

My dad forced my brother.

There are far much worse things in the world to be forced to do, but I still find this rumor to be disturbing. My dad is not the forcing type. He can’t hold his tongue, admitting to saying whatever is on his mind even when it’s hurtful, but he’s not really a forceful person. And besides that… really? You don’t like the fact that your child is using his left hand?!? You can’t be grateful he’s at least using his hand, period? Seems so silly to me.

Last week when Lovie and I were visiting my dad and eating dinner with him and some of his friends (he lives in an independent retirement community), his friends commented, “Oh she’s left handed, too?” Apparently their granddaughter is left-handed, and apparently being left-handed is some freaky, devilish thing to old folk.

I chuckled and told them that she uses both hands but has been using her left for the most part since very early on. My father looked at me with a bit of shock and then looked at Lovie who sat next to him, fork in hand, trying to pick up some cut-up “sgetti” with her left hand.

“No, you use-ah dis hand-ah,” he told her in his thick Italian accent, trying to tell her to use her right hand.

I was dumbfounded.

“She’s doing fine,” I calmly said. “Please let her use whatever hand she wants.”

“Oh I-ah know-ah,” he said. “I was jus-ah tryin’ to see-ah if she could use-ah the right hand-ah.”

That was all that was said about that.


Yesterday, Lovie and I stopped at the park again. We were there for over an hour and Lovie didn’t do anything with the playground equipment. Instead, she spent her time ogling the bikes that were parked next to the playground.  She’d make her way to a bike, a girly pink frilly bike, and stand and/or crouch next to it and touch different things on it before looking at me with a sad, pathetic I-want-a-bike face.


When she’d finally come over to me to talk, her face was still so pathetic looking and she would say, “Mama? I want a bike.”

“You want a bike, baby girl?”

“A pink one.”

“You want a pink bike, huh?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll have to talk to daddy about that.” Or, because we had the same conversation over and over again and again, “I know you want a bike, sweet baby.”

My girl not only wants a bike, she wants a pink one. A super girly pink bike that my eyes burn when seeing.

Holy hell do I hate pink. I’ve discussed that so many times on this blog. I hate pink.

But my girl, loves pink. She loves her pink princess dress (a pink tutu I got her for Valentine’s Day), she loves her pink blanket, she loves pink.

And now she wants a pink bike. Not just a bike, which she’s wanted for some time now, but a pink one.

It used to be that I would never allow pink in the house, never buy it and hide anything pink gifted to us. I hate pink. But I always said that I’d cave once she could ask for it; I would never force my hatred of pink onto her.

So I guess it’s time to get my left-hand dominating girly girl a pink bike, huh?


50 comments:

  1. Her I want a pink bike face is priceless! Clearly you are going to have to suck it up and giver her what she wants!

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    1. hehe she makes the best faces. :)
      and yep, been sucking it up with the pink crap for months now. ;)

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  2. We finally caved and bought our daughter a bike very similar to that one for her recent 3rd birthday. It was pretty much the best moment of her life. I hate pink too, but I guess I can learn to live with it ;)

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    1. awww i can only imagine her reaction to be gifted with something she REALLY wants! maybe we'll do it for her 3rd (December) bday too but in the meantime i do think we should get her a trike at least.

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  3. PJ desperately wants a bike. Hoping he gets one for his birthday but if he doesn't we're getting him one anyway.

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    1. oooh have you picked one out? you going trike or bike with training wheels?? or BIG WHEEL?!? i want BIG WHEEL but people say she won't be able to reach the pedals yet...

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  4. Replies
    1. hehe and the pout with the voice, too? :)

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  5. Never say never. Ha! I read this right after Random Reflectionz and they have such similar themes, I felt like an English teacher who had just picked two great reading assignments. Anyway, my SIL hates pink too. She gave us the whole low-don on all of the things we were not allowed to buy, say, or do around her daughter (she's a nice girl---she just hates pink and what it means in society). Of course, now that her daughter is here---things are different. Her daughter still doesn't wear a ton of pink, but I think she just rides the wave if you know what I mean and decides not to make this the battle she wants to fight. Nice piece. Erin

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  6. Haha! My tomboy cousin is anti girly anything. Her first is a 6-year-old girl who is girly girly girly. The other day I was over there and she walked up to my cousin with a DS game and said, "Mommy, you can find out anything you want about princesses on this game."

    I swear I saw my cousin gag. And oooooooh she scowled. I just laughed.

    ~The G is Silent

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    1. noooo don't tell me her 6yo is still girly girly girl!!! i'm hoping that by being so accepting and not showing my disgust, she'll grow out of it! she WILL grow out of it, right?? RIGHT?!?!!!! :D

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  7. Letting all that pink in is tough. And it's everywhere! I think it's great that you're letting her love and choose her color. You brave soul you. :)

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    1. THANK YOU!! sometimes i think i make a big deal out of it when it really is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it's hard work dammit!

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  8. Hahahaha! First, my husband is left handed and my two boys are left handed. I'm the odd-ball since I am right handed. Second, I hate pink, too. Had I given birth to a girl, I'm sure I would cringe at the thought of having to buy pink. (smile) It's OK Mom... she'll be fine with a pink bike. :)

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  9. Ha :) I am laughing right now at how alike (but opposite to your story) this is in our household! I have 2 boys and 1 girl (who is the oldest). She wants absolutely nothing to do with anything girly and all I want is to have a girl to paint my toenails with (well, not all I want, but you get the idea). Pick and choose your battles is keep reminding myself, in the grand scheme of things having a daughter to get a pedicure with is not really that important... Good luck picking and choosing your own battles... :)

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    1. thanks! i'm learning about this battle thing more and more every day.

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  10. My son is only 2 but has had lefty tendencies for a while and I'm thrilled. If I can teach him to throw a baseball, that's a very marketable skill.

    As for your dislike of pink, I'm working on a post now that will touch on a similar subject so I know what you mean.

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    1. hmm wonder if i can turn my maybe leftie girly girl into a pitcher?!

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  11. Great story! I remember the exact moment I caved on pink - it was the first trip to a toy store when my daugter was able to walk on her own.

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    1. awwwwww that's so sweet. did she pick it out herself?

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  12. My husband grew up as a left-handed kid during a time when left-handed people were encouraged to turn themselves into right-handed people somehow and now he has all this funny pride about his left-handedness. Apparently it's a big deal. :-)

    When my first daughter was born I went to great lengths to avoid pink, frilly gendered toys and cheap, character-based toys, etc., but she went through a huge princess phase anyway. I want her to grow up feeling confident about who she is though and apparently she needed to explore the princess fantasy for awhile. I learned how to support that, but it was hard at first! Good luck with the pink bike!

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    1. that's what i'm hoping for- that this is just a phase. ;)

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  13. Wow, what a powerful post.

    My brother was left-handed too and my mom forced him to change that.

    I am not a fan of pink to the extreme. But, the problems we have they are OURs, not our child. If my child is left handed, I should first find out if that is actually bad. If not, I'll deal with it. The same with my kids preferences. Seriously, I see society changes things just because we frown upon them more often that we think of...

    Kuddos to you for standing up for your child to your dad.

    www.mamaandthecity.com

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    1. thank you for these words. i completely and totally agree with you!!

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  14. Her facial expression in that picture is absolutely priceless! Good for you for standing up to your dad. Your daughter is going to love the pretty pink bike that you know you're going to buy for her. This was a great post!

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  15. I love that she's so decisive. I was the most indecisive kid on earth and my cousin/BFF just decided things for me. :-) You are a good mom to let her be who she wants to be. I have the "princess" fear with my future kid(s). I never had a princess fantasy. I never wanted to wear gowns and crowns and pretend to kiss princes. But it seems every little girl I know is obsessed with being a princess. Princess is like pink is to you. :-) Get the girl a bike, mom. I mean honestly, who can resist that pouty face?!?!? :-)

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    1. oh i've got my eye on a few. :)
      and yeah i HATE the princess crap, as well. to me, pink and princess are pretty much on even terms. right alongside DORA. hell no!

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  16. That attitude about left-handedness is so common in our parents' (and grandparents') generation! When E was showing signs of being left-handed around the age of 3, I remember I step mom asking, "What are you going to do?!" as if there was something TO do! I absolutely LOVE that look on your daughter's face - too cute!!

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    1. it's sooo crazy how times have changed! when i was a baby, i didn't ride in a carseat- my mom held me. with no seat belt. :)

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  17. My daughter has a pepto pink room WITH matching pink carpet. Why? Because I wanted red carpet in my room and wasn't allowed. You are doing good! Let her be her!

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    1. OY! i'm not sure i could do the pink walls and carpet- WOW!! :)

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  18. I'm a pink-hater, too. Always hated it. Both my girls went through pink phases, but you should be happy to know they both also got over it! Now neither one really likes pink. So maybe the pink overload at a young age helped.

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    1. this... this is precisely what i'm praying will happen over here, too. THANKS! :)

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  19. My mom grew up in Mississippi in the 1940s and was forced at school to be right-handed. Whaddya know, she does everything left-handed today, but her handwriting is really weird. Such an offensive notion; glad your daughter is growing up in more enlightened times! Enjoy that pink bike, mama; I'm betting her next one will be purple.

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  20. My boyfriend is left handed. In school the teachers tried like hell to get him to switch to his right hand. The kids actually called him a freak. When teachers themselves can't respect differences, how can the kids grow up to do so? Geez... what a crazy world. The pink thing is funny. I have a 10 year old niece who is anything but girly girl. If you so much as say the word, pink, she frowns. She will not wear a piece of clothing with the slightest bit of pink. And that is just as funny...

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  21. That face, omg! I hear you though, about the anti pink household. I tried with all my might to hold off the pink princess crap, but that blew up in my face! UGH! It's all about them right?

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  22. Wonderful connection between the left-handed and pink-love. And thank you for reinforcing the "don't force your pink hate" feeling. I also detest pink (mostly), but my daughter and son love it. I'm putting up with it in much the same way my parents put up with all things dark purple and black in my teen years. Just hoping it's a stage!

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  23. Make sure she gets a horn too... and put it on the left handlebar :-)8<

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    1. heh, she was really digging the streamer thingies on one of the bikes.

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