blown away

two and five.

gah. look how little she was!

girl.

I wasn’t supposed to be a mom to a girl.

I wasn’t really supposed to be a mom at all, actually.

But.

Not a day goes by that I’m not eternally grateful that not only am I a mom, but I’m a mom to a girl. 

When I found out Lovie was a girl, I honestly was a little disappointed. Not a lot. Not even enough to mention, truthfully; but if I’m honest, I would have to reveal that yes, there was a tinge of disappointment that she would not be a he. It’s just that, in the moment the ultrasound tech told us “it was a girl”, I had this vomit-inducing image of all kinds of pink crap. And high-pitched squeals. And dresses, painted nails, Barbie dolls, etc.

Like I said it was sincerely a fleeting moment that was over as soon as I realized that my baby was HEALTHY and that I was going to finally become a mom.

The first year of Lovie’s life was great. I mean, it’s always been great. Of course, there are always moments when it’s exhausting or whatnot but overall, being Lovie’s mom is the absolute greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world having her as my child. And during that first year of her life when she wasn’t able talk much or have opinions of her own, it wasn’t too difficult to avoid the pink invasion I fretted over when I first learned she’d be a Girl.

Then she turned one.

And she got gifted her very first baby doll, which she toted around for months.

And it was the sweetest thing I had ever in all my life seen: My sweet little baby doll loving on her very own baby doll.

Soon it became clear that no matter how neutral we made Lovie’s surroundings, clothes, toys… she was all girl.

She is all girl.

My Lovie is absolutely every single thing I envisioned the moment I found out she was a girl.

Thank God.

under the stars and moon

The other day Lovie asked for help on her journal. Our journal. She asked me how to spell some words, how to write the date. She asked for suggestions on what else to write after she completed the first part: 

I love you Mama. 

I love you under the stars and moon.

Other than help her spell You and Under (and that there's an E at the end of Love), she did the rest. (The date in the upper right hand corner is my writing--I was writing upside down, which isn't so easy.)

After she was done writing and drawing pictures of the moon and stars, she asked what else she should write.

I suggested she draw a picture.

She then drew me (left) and her (center), then drew Daddy (right).

Originally she drew us without feet so when I asked about our feet, she added them-- including the toes, which made me chuckle as she deliberately counted out five toes for each of us. : )

I'm so glad I decided to do this journal.

journal writing: the kid edition

While I'm trying super hard not to be too pushy about this, I'm super dang excited about Lovie learning to read and write. She knows how to spell several words and write them. For the most part. She can also figure out what a lot of easy words are by looking at the first letter of the word as well as the the image nearby. She's a smart cookie and I'm confident she'll be a reader and writer in no time...But I'm anxious.

I am. I don't know why exactly, but the idea of her reading and writing excites me so much. I just can't wait for it all to click. I can't wait for her to start thumbing through books. I can't wait for her to write notes unprompted. I just can't wait.

That said, the kid is only 4 (and a half!).

I want her to really enjoy being 4 and 5 and 6 and....

I want her to play and dance and sing and color and paint and fart and giggle and make bubbles when drinking. I want her to retain that innocence as long as she can. I have no desire to rush anything... I'm just super excited about reading and writing.

Enter the Mama and Me journal.

I got the idea via this pin one day while wasting time on Pinterest, and while Lovie's not really a writer and reader quite yet, I thought why not start this? She could draw pictures or get help to write something. Or she could just let it sit until the day came when she could read and write on her own.

One day last week we were talking about letters or reading or something and I mentioned the idea of the journal and how I thought it could be fun to do-- write letters to one another in a journal, just for us, and put them under the other person's pillow when it's their turn. She seemed kind of excited about it, but not horribly so, so I didn't bring it up again. Instead I printed out a cover image for a notebook I already had and started thinking about what I wanted to write and how I wanted to approach it.

I finally wrote the letter yesterday and stuck it under her pillow while she was watching TV after school. My intention was for her to discover it on her own and figure it out but then, out of the blue, while we snuggled on the couch just before bed, she said, "Hey me-member you said you would get a journal to write in and put under my pillow?"

Oh the smile that washed over my face as I nodded and whispered, "Why don't you go look under your pillow now?"

She looked up at me with such glee and ran off to her bedroom where I could hear an exuberant shriek quickly followed by the sound of her feet running against the hardwood floor back toward the living room. I thought her face might break from smiling so much as she handed the book to me and asked me what it said.

I read it to her, of course, and when I was done she immediately demanded I tell her what to write.

I laughed and told her she didn't have to write anything if she didn't want to, that she could even draw a picture. I reiterated that the journal was for whatever we wanted to share with each other. Well, she continued to demand that I tell her how to spell certain words. And when she was all done, about twenty minutes later, she dashed off to my bedroom, demanding I keep my eyes closed (even though she wrote her letter directly on top of me and I already knew what it said: Hi Mama I Love You So Much).

After I put her to bed, I went in my bedroom and opened the book and looked at her writing more closely. Her big smiley happy faces and rounded hearts made my eyes well up. She ran out of room signing her name so she had to put the last letter in front of the first letter, which made me laugh out loud.

I wrote her a little note back and tucked it under her pillow this morning before I left for work. When it's my turn to journal again, I plan on taping this photo of us I took yesterday while watching TV:

(could she look any less interested/exhausted. oh but she's not tired, oh no!!)

I will cherish this book (and hopefully many more to come) for ever and always.

all smiles

If I could pick one word to describe last week it would be "Smiles".

(end of first day of Montessori. she was just laying on the couch watching tv and smiling.)

Smiles on her first day at her new school.
Smiles when picking her up.
Smiles while watching TV and decompressing.
Smiles while eating dinner.
Smiles while getting ready for bed and going to sleep.
Smiles the next day and next day and next.

Not just from her either.

The first couple of days were a little rough for me, personally, but that's because I've been so used to driving the sometimes hour drive home with her in the back seat jabbering away. Or singing. (The singing had become so much fun the past six months since she started letting us listen to the radio instead of "kids music." She's got a bunch of favorite songs that she sings along to and it's just a riot to be a part of it.) This week, I'm already kind of used to her not being in the back seat. It still sucks but her happiness, her excitement, her smiles make it all worth it.

I've really come to absolutely love this new school and the Montessori life. It just makes so much sense. I've since been doing even more research than I had prior and I'm getting more and more amazed every day.

The biggest thing for me is when I pick her up. At preschool when I picked her up it was always complete chaos. Always. Someone was always crying and/or screaming and/or running around like a mad dog. I hated it, but I learned to accept it because that's just the way it always was.

Now? It's not anything like that. Even when I pick her up and everyone is outside in the yard it's still calm. There may be some running around SINCE THEY ARE OUTSIDE but it's not like they've been freed after being held captive for a year. It's just kids running around. There's never any screaming or crying or yelling or pushing or shoving or whining. It's really quite surreal most days. How on earth can toddlers and preschoolers and young grade-school aged children get along so well all the time?

The environment. It's the calm environment. The calm, loving, independent environment.

I just don't understand why the Montessori way isn't more implemented in schools. Or why there aren't more Montessori schools that go further than just up to age 5 or 6.

I've learned a lot about Montessori the past several weeks and months. I feel very lucky to have discovered this school so close to where we live. But mostly I feel lucky to have found a place where Lovie will be able to blossom into herself. I'm excited. And I'm all smiles... much like her.

warning: grab your toothbrush and floss for this sickening sweet sap.

June 25, 2014. Did you know we're six months out from Christmas Day. DID YOU KNOW?! You're welcome. : )

If we're six months from Christmas, we're almost six months from this gorgeous girl turning FIVE.

How on earth is it possible that time really goes by this fast when I spent the better part of my life wishing for the days to end?!?

I can barely keep up.

Neither can these two apparently:

Dad and Lovie fell asleep after Father's Day brunch, and before some mini golf. It was Lovie's suggestion--the mini golf. She said, "On Father's Day you're supposta take your father to mini golf." I thought it was a brilliant idea, so we went and, of course, I got two holes in one while my two playmates sulked.

Seriously though, I know it gets old--reading all the mom sap and all the Look-at-How-Bloody-Wonderful-My-Life-is posts on blogs and Facebook, etc--but really... I'M SO IMMENSELY BLESSED. I can't come here and pretend that I'm not.

Of course I have bad days.

Of course there are times when I want to remove myself from the picture and live life in solitude.

But then I look at my sweet girl or she tells me something funny and it all makes sense again. And life is beautiful and a blessing. Such a freaking blessing!


The other night when it was time for her bath, Lovie was getting in the tub and she looked up at me whilst holding onto my shirt and stepping into the tub (because she's so damn tall now that she insists she gets in and out of the tub by herself) and said, "Mama, did you know that you're my best friend?"

I mean... seriously. This was really said to me. By that little girl right up there just moments before I snapped that picture.

How on earth could I not feel anything but blessed?
And lucky?
And fortunate?
And enamored with life and all things Lovie?

Yeah I'm her mama and all that jazz, but honestly, this kid?

She's just pure amazing.

She's just such a gift.

Not a day goes by when I don't thank the universe for her.

So yeah... six months till Christmas and nearly six months till she turns 5.

Hold me?

just trying to hang on

It's been a while, eh?

Things were a bit hectic there for a while.

Between work, stuff at home, sickness, vacation, and preschool graduation...

...we've been keeping quite busy.

I can't believe this sweet little doll is quickly approaching 4 and a half. Shortly after this milestone, she'll be starting a new school. A real school. No more daycare/preschool stuff.

We've done a ton of research the past several years and we're so very excited to see what her new adventure at Montessori school will bring. Absolutely cannot wait to see how she thrives. Girlfriend is so super close to reading, it's crazy to me. So far she can spell her first and last names, Mama, Dad, Stop, Pink, No, and she has truly mastered telling me letters that are in just about any word!! Particularly what they start with. Last night, for example, she asked me how to spell Soccer Ball and before I could oblige she told me there was an S and a B in it. She amazes me. On a daily basis, she amazes me. And I have a feeling that once she gets into a groove at her new school, there just won't be much stopping her.

#MothersDay

So Sunday is Mother's Day.

I wasn't always a big fan of the day, but since having Lovie, I've grown to enjoy it. Not to get away from her or have alone time, but to actually celebrate her-- she's the reason I'm a mother after all. And it's the most awesomest thing in the world.

taken at her dress rehearsal for her big recital on... Mother's Day!

Being her mama.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

This little girl

still prefers *riding* the big wheel over the super pink Barbie big girl bike i got her

She lights my whole world up so brightly I'm amazed I can see straight most days. 

She drives me so crazy at times I'm amazed I'm not fully white haired.

She's so smart, so inquisitive, so emotional, so sensitive (SO VERY SENSITIVE), so kind, so nutty, so funny, so sweet, so pretty, so amazing.

She still loves ballet and pink and princesses and dresses and skirts. 

She still loves Team Umizoomi and television and saucy pizza (no cheese or toppings) and spaghetti and fruit and veggies.

She spends most of her days at school in the Kindergarten room, where she loves to learn and thrive and continue to amaze us all with her knowledge and comprehension and memory.

She loves playing at the park with bigger kids, but she's also still very smitten with babies and toddlers.

She's just such a kick-ass kid, this little girl. 

here's one way to publish your own book

The other week we made a cardboard Washing Machine. It's pretty kick ass if I do say so myself.

While we were making the thing, I ended up with several scraps of cardboard box which I gave to Lovie to do with as she pleased. She was excited when I gave the pieces to her but then said, "What do you want me to do with them?"

I told her she could do whatever she wanted--she could color on them, cut them, make play food (cookie), make a book, whatever.

"A book?" She was quite interested.

I folded one of the scrap pieces in half and told her we could put paper inside and that the cardboard would be the outside of the book which she could color and design herself.

This is what happened:

See the squiggly lines in green above the blob? Yeah, that's her "story". She even read the thing to me, flipping the pages and telling me an actual story! It's called "Kashie's Seasons." It's about a girl, Kashie (probably should be spelled Kayshie), who lived Once Upon a Time and who loved going outside and loved the different seasons. One day she got sad though but then she went outside and she was happy again.

Or something.

Seriously though, how awesome is that?! And SO EASY to do (held the paper in there with [pink] tape). She literally "wrote" on each page and drew a corresponding image! I should have her read it to me again so I can "translate" it for the future when she may not be able to read her "writing" because this is one of those things that I will save forever.

the builder- then and now

It's been a while since we've been to the library. Unlike many others, I like to go when it's boiling out and it's been quite the opposite now for months... so it's been months since we've been. But Lovie's been asking to go so we finally returned the books I kept renewing on Tuesday and picked out a few new ones.

While checking out the new books, we heard a crashing sound coming from the back of the children's section. Both Lovie and I turned to look toward the sound and that's when our eyes laid upon this little girl, roughly Lovie's age, building with these gigantic LEGO-like blocks. Of course, we had to go check them out.



feb 2014, 4 years old

It's funny -- this whole parenting thing. I get sad sometimes (oftentimes) when I see my girl change and grow. Not sad because I don't want her to grow, but sad because it will be the last time she sleeps in a crib, wears a diaper, drinks from a bottle, etc, etc, etc. But the truth is that watching her change and grow is such an incredible gift that I wouldn't trade for anything. Not even those baby days.

feb 2012, 2 years old

Plus. She'll always be my baby.

No point to this, really. I'm just so blessed is all, and it's been a bit since I've posted.

i hope you dance

Yesterday marked Lovie's first full month as a four year old. I kind of want to come here and gush about how awesome it is having a four year old, but I'm terrified of jinxing myself. Three was good for us-- but trying. Especially the first half of three. Oh boy is Trying a nice word to describe the first half of three. Two was not terrible at all for us. Much like one.

It's been a pure joy to mama this kid. Sure there are not-so-fun times but really? Not really! It's been a joy. I'm so blessed.

Anyhow

Next Saturday Lovie and her dad are going to a Daddy Daughter Dance. How freaking adorable is that going to be?

This is what she's wearing. Now, prepare yourself because if you know me at all, you know how anti-pink/girly/glittery/fluffy/princess I am... so ... hopefully you're sitting down.

Ready? You've been warned.

The dress:

The tights:

The shoes:

I picked the dress (and the tights) up today from Macy's (and the shoes from Payless). Um. The dress is even pink-er/girly-er/glittery-er/fluffy-er/princess-er than it looks in the photo. Like I almost didn't recognize it because it's SOOOO all those things.


And it's absolutely perfect for Lovie.

today

Sunday morning I went out to meet with some friends. I left Lovie at home with her daddy. "But I'm gonna miss you," she mumbled with a frown on her face. "I know," I told her. "I'm gonna miss you too. But I won't be too long and then we can spend the rest of the day together like always."

After a couple hours, Taye texted me a photo of Lovie holding an 11x14 framed photo of the two of us (me and Lovie). "I think she misses you," the text read below the image.

My sweet love.

When I got home she ran through the house and into my arms and was stuck to me like Velcro the rest of the day, a smile tattooed on her sweet little face.

This little girl is absolutely everything to me. So much so that it hurts. It HURTS to think of life without her. It's been like this since before she was born. I honestly thought that the intensity in which I feel this would dissipate a bit by now but it absolutely hasn't. Quite the opposite actually.

I have my moments when I get tired or frustrated and wouldn't mind turning down the volume on her a bit, but those thoughts and feelings never last too long before I'm flooded with this nearly overwhelming love for her.

She makes me so proud. She's so sweet and kind. She's so smart. She's so gosh darn adorable. But it's more than all that. It's that she's a part of me. Like truly a part of my heart and soul. I just don't want to ever imagine a time when she won't want much to do with me. I know that time will come, but I just can't think of it.

Instead, I relish in the now.

Right now.

Today.

I can't wait to pick her up from school. I can't wait to see that smile fill her face when she sees me. I can't wait to buckle her safely in the back seat and give her her Nabi. I can't wait to hear the story of Cinderella or The Ugly Duckling being read to her by the Nabi for the hundredth time during our drive home. I can't wait for her to ask me if I got her a surprise snack. I can't wait for her to ask me what's for dinner. I can't wait for her to ask me to sit with her to watch TV. I can't wait for her to use me as a jungle gym while we watch TV. I can't wait for her to ask me for hot chocolate. I can't wait for her to demand one more tv show before bed. I can't wait for her to tell me she doesn't want to brush her teeth. I can't wait for her to stall at bedtime. I can't wait for her to sigh about how she'd really love some water after being tucked into bed.

I can't wait to see my sweet love.

I can't wait to do the every day, mundane things with her.

I can't wait for her hugs and kisses and snuggles.

I can't wait to tickle her and kiss her a million times till she squirms and wrestles away from me.

Light

This little light of mine.

 

She's been taking ballet for nearly a full year now. Saturday was the first time we were able to sit in the studio to see all that our little ballerinas have learned. This isn't the first time I've seen her perform. No, that was last May-- on Mother's Day, actually. That's when she was in her first live dance recital after five months of lessons (different class and instructor). She was adorable, of course. She even lead the way most of the time.

This past Saturday was a bit different though. We didn't have to sit through hours of performances with only a few minutes from our little stars. This time, we got a front row seat to 45 minutes of nonstop ballet and creative movement (I didn't name the class) starring our kids only. It was freaking adorable and fun and cute and funny... and enlightening. Seems my little Lovie who shines so brightly like a star does so everywhere.

I'm gonna let it shine. 

Not just in my eyes, either. Apparently, she's the class clown, too. So everyone can see her. She makes sure of it.

I'm not really sure what, if anything, I'm suppose to do about this. She's a very attentive listener and follows instructions very well the first time given. She remembers everything. But, she, like most littles her age (no??), likes attention and she's not shy about getting it.

This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine...

She had the small studio laughing more than once with questions she asked the teacher or random comments she made in reference to a song or dance. Was I suppose to shush her? Should I have told her to just listen? Thing is, she does everything that's asked of her. It's not like she's not paying attention. And it's not like she's super rude about interrupting; she does say "Excuse me."

The couple of times she ran to me to give me a hug (*melt*), I did tell her how great a job she was doing and that she should keep her listening ears open, but yeah, she still made some random comments that had everyone laughing (while I glanced back at her Daddy who she's sooo much like).

Meh, I think I have my answer: I'm not dimming the shine. I won't do it. Not yet, at least.

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

a gorgeous Sunday in Fall

There's so many things I love about this photo below:

As you can see, it's not a gorgeous image or anything. There's nothing special about it, really. Not to the average person. But to me, there's so much I love: the colors from the trees, the fact that the sun is getting ready to slumber, the awesome playground structure, and, of course, the people jumping into action.

I took the photo with my cell phone this past Sunday. We had just gotten done eating a late lunch after a little photo shoot by a lake. It was quite chilly out, but beautiful. Gorgeous, really. A gorgeous Sunday in Fall. Lovie asked if we could stop at the park and we obliged. Why not, right?

Turns out we were the only ones there, which was fine by me. Lovie generally only wants to play with other littles when we go to the park these days, but she was quite content with just hanging with us for some reason. Which we ate up. Taye especially.


We've been together for 13 years now-- Taye and me. There have been hot moments and some downright bitter cold moments. The first year after Lovie was born, things were a little rough. I was so damn tired. I still am but it's different now. Life is different. Lovie is different. I'm different. Watching the two loves of my life interact... it just truly warms my entire soul. And that's what I got to do Sunday during our park visit. I got to sit and watch and take photos and laugh. Man, did I laugh. Because these two are like two peas in a pod. Neither of them needs much sleep, both of them are super damn funny and chatty and outgoing. And they both adore one another.


Lovie and Taye are leaping from the sidewalk on the playgrounds' edge, steps from where I was sitting on a bench. They were being superheroes. I had called for help -- my Kitties were in danger because they made their way to the Monster under the bridge (per Lovie) -- and Superdaddy and Superbaby (I can't believe she still lets us call her Baby. We don't tell her she's a baby because she's not, but we do call her Baby instead of her name most of the time and I'm just really surprised she hasn't yet put the kibosh on that. I hope she never does.) were off to rescue them! Over and over again and again. Poor Taye was exhausted, but kept up with Lovie quite well. I was pretty impressed.



These are them. These are the moments I cherish with all my heart. This is life right here. This is living. I never dreamed it could be this damn beautiful. Stunning, really.

So this kid of mine...

So this kid of mine...

 

this child who makes a smile cover my face just when I think of her... this child who is so much more than I ever imagined... this child who is so damn smart and funny... this child who is quickly approaching 4... this child who is going to be a Pirate tomorrow for Halloween despite not allowing us to leave Costco one day last month without a Rapunzel costume (and wig)... this child who is worried that my hair is still white... this child who can't wait to have a baby come from her tummy one day... this child who is the essence of life, of beauty, of innocence, of purity...

She's said some fun things this year that I haven't really recorded here but probably should. Unfortunately I only started posting her quips to Facebook the other month so this is all I have:

Lovie: Mama can I have some hot chocolate?

Me: How about some warm milk?

Lovie: Well hot chocolate is made with milk so how about some hot chocolate?

 
**********************

Lovie: Mama why is your hair white?

Me: Because I'm getting old.

Lovie: Does that mean you're gonna be dead?

Me, wanting to scoop her into my arms forever: No baby, hopefully not for a long time.   

 

*********************
  
obviously this isn't a real conversation... not really:

Hi my name is Lovie and I'm so excited today is Saturday because that means we're having our tea party!! So because I'm so excited it took me extra long to fall asleep last night and then at 4:30 this morning I got up and came into my mommy and daddy's room because IT'S SATURDAY AND THAT MEANS WE'RE HAVING A TEA PARTY!!!! So what if the party isn't till 3 pm? IT'S SATURDAY AND THAT MEANS TEA PARTY DAY!!!!

**********************

Me: [Lovie], can you pick up the popsicle stick from the floor?

 

Lovie: popsicle?? Did somebody say popsicle?

 

Me, looking at used stick on floor from popsicle she consumed minutes prior: Yes, can you please pick up the popsicle stick and throw it away?

 

Lovie: popsicle?? Yeah sure I'll have another popsicle.

**********************

 

Me: So what do you want for Christmas?

 

Lovie, sitting upright in bed: A baby. I want a baby in my tummy (she pats her belly) because I haven't had a baby come from my tummy yet so that's what I want for Christmas.

 

Me, looking at her and then quickly back down to the books we were reading: Oh honey, it's going to be a long, loooong time before you can have a baby in your belly.

 

 

 

 

 

LOVE this little girl

This little girl makes all of me smile from head to toe.

This little girl makes me so proud, so happy, so in love.

This little girl keeps me on my toes with her questions and knowledge of stuff like omnivores and constellations.

This little girl can count to 50 with very little help.

This little girl can spell her name, Mama, Daddy, Stop.

This little girl knows her birth date, address, the city she lives in, and her phone number.

This little girl sounds out letters and may very soon be reading words other than her name, Stop, Mama, Dad.

This little girl loves taking baths but won't take a shower.

This little girl never wants me to do her hair, yet doesn't mind having woodchips or sand in it.

This little girl loves cupcakes, popcorn, hot chocolate as well as green beans, peas, cantaloupe.

This little girl loves animals, especially her cats.

This little girl could spend all day playing in the sand.

This little girl doesn't like going to bed at night and won't sleep more than 9 hours at night.

This little girl loves taking ballet and is very sad to learn that she can't also take tap because she's not yet 4.

This little girl loves listening to music and singing as loud as she can.

This little girl hates any and all bugs except for lady bugs.

This little girl is and always will be absolutely everything to me.

cutest sponge

This little girl is something else.

Every day she amazes me. Every day is such a gift. Every day I tell her Daddy that we are so blessed to have her. Every day her Daddy and I smile at her and each other.

It's not all rainbows and puppy dogs but, it kind of is. I mean, she has her moments when she flips out over the most odd things... Just this morning she held a nickel in the back seat of the car and it fell. She started whining. I told her I'd get her another, it wasn't a big deal. I give her one and she starts screaming in hysterics: I DON'T WANT ONE COIN! I DON'T WANT ONE!!! "Would you like a couple more coins?" I calmly asked remembering that just yesterday she was enamored over holding three nickels. YES! I hand a couple over, and all was good in the world again.

But then there are other times when she's just ... she just kind of blows me away.

She's a sponge this one. She loves learning and is constantly asking what things are that she sees for the first time or hears about for the first time. We've never really hit a "Why" stage with her, though. She seems pretty content with our answers most of the time. And she absorbs it all and it sticks like glue in that head of hers.

Currently she can spell her first name, Dad, Mama, Stop (that was the first one thanks to the stop signs), Cat. She knows her birthday is December 29. And as of just yesterday, she now knows her address! She's known for a while that we live in Chicago but now she knows the damn street number and name too! (I'd like to teach her our phone number but am unsure which to teach her: my cell, Taye's cell, home/land line??)

She's a sponge!

I mean yeah it's all from memorizing it, but still. Sweet, right?! And if you ask her how she knows all that she'll tell you, "Cuz I'm smart."

Heh, that's my girl.

My girly girl who screams, cries, and runs away at the sight of bugs... but who's also enamored with all things Poop lately.

TILTW: 5.25-5.31

(It's been too long since I've done one of these)

On Sleeping: My girl could quite possibly pull an all-nighter already if I allowed, and, especially if TV is involved. I'm astounded at her ability to watch TV and stay awake. That said, she needs to sleep. We all do. And I've come to terms that she currently only will sleep 9 hours at night. I might try to cut out the nap but I'm afraid. She really needs more than 9 hours of sleep in a day. Not because of anything other than her crappy attitude and demeanor when she doesn't get a good 11 hours in a full day. So I've accepted (relented) that I need to lay with her on school nights in order for her to fall asleep. It's not ideal, but if it gets her to sleep within an hour of bedtime opposed to the minimum two hours we've been dealing with for months, I give. And the thing is, there will come a time--probably sooner rather than later--when she won't even want me in the room with her anymore, let alone lying on the floor telling her stories and singing songs while we hold hands and both fall asleep. She's my baby. Always will be. But she's growing so fast so may as well relish in these peaceful times.

On Learning: Earlier last week, Lovie spelled out S T O P. When I asked her what she spelled (whilst sitting at a stop sign), she said, "Stop." (We're city folk so she's seen plenty of stop signs.) As we drove on, I asked her to spell "Stop" again and she did: "S.T.O.P."  I asked her if she could spell her (real) name and she said no and continued to look out the window. She knows what letter her (real) name starts with but that's about it. Well, yesterday we left school and the skies opened up on us. Driving through a monsoon with a 3 year-old is fun times, oh yes it is. To keep myself calm and not get her fearful of the lightening striking near us, I started asking her to spell things again. She spelled Stop and then I asked her to spell her name. She started with the first letter but that's it (there are 7 letters in her real name, 3 syllables). I started spelling it in a sing-song way. Over and over. She started repeating it. And by the time we got home, she could spell her name. Also, by the time we got home, she could spell Mama and Dad. She's so proud of herself, as am I. She loves learning and proving that she's learning and that elates me. I got her this workbook for PreK kids and pulled it out when we got home. She started tracing the letters. This is SO the time I wish I could be at home with her more during the day. Being a working away from home mom won't stop me from doing these things with her, but I do wish there was more time for it. How thrilling it is to witness your child learn and grow at such a rapid speed. Bittersweet times.

On Growing: Lovie's 4T pants are starting to get short on her. They're way too big around her waist, especially now that she's in undies, but they're getting to be too short. Same with her 4T dresses. I'M NOT READY FOR SIZE 5 YET. I know it's just clothes but jeez kid, SLOW DOWN! Also, her feet. She was in a size 4 shoe forever. Then a 5 forever. Then a 6 forever. Then last year in the summer, she moved into a size 7. In the past two months, I've had to buy her new shoes- size 9!- and pack away a bunch of size 7 and 8's that she's barely worn, if at all! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN SO FAST?!

On Potty Training: I was always told she'll get it when she was ready. TRUTH. This chica doesn't even need night-time pullups anymore! She even gets up in the middle of the night to pee and goes right back to sleep. LIKE A PERSON!

On Rules: This chica seems to thrive on rules. The other week we went to the grocery store and I experienced the worst tantrum by her ever. Like I was shaking by the end of it as she sat in the car screaming and thrashing about, climbing her way into my hatch and banging on the back window as she shrieked, "LET ME OUT!" All because the store didn't have a kid shopping cart or a large racecar cart for her. All because she either had to walk with me to get the few items we were going for or ride in a regular cart. All because I couldn't magically get what she wanted to appear at that moment. I gave her a couple warnings that if she (the whining and actual crying) didn't settle down, we would have to leave. By the third warning, I had to make good on my promise and that's when she lost her mind. (I believe the entire "episode" lasted about an hour- from the time we got to the store, I got her out, I got myself into the car after calming down, and we got home and she got herself calmed down enough to go in the house.) NOW when we go anywhere, like a store, there are rules that are discussed even before we get there. During the drive, we'll talk about the rules: where we're going, why we're going there, the behavior that will and will not be tolerated. Honest to god, I haven't had a problem since. Granted, it's only been a couple of weeks but now anytime we go somewhere she will ask about the Rules. And she knows... she knows... I will follow through.

girliest girly girl

“Mama I want my hair like that,” Lovie said from the back seat of the car.

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she answered, pointing toward a building we idled next to while at a red light.

 

I followed her point and saw an image of a woman with her hair all pulled to the back of her head and a big-ass flower holding it all together.

“With a flower,” she added. “A pink one.”

“Oh okay,” I answered. “We can try that some time,” I lied.

 

When I envisioned having children, I saw them running around kicking a soccer ball. I saw them digging in the mud. And playing with cars. And riding bikes.

 

this was taken at picture day for her big dance recital. she was woken from a nap to attend and wasn't too happy to wake up. don't let the face fool you--she's enamored by the gaudy costume.

 

I never once saw them putting on ballet slippers and twirling about in a tutu. I never once saw them playing with baby dolls and loving the color pink. But that’s who Lovie is. She’s ballet and pink and flowers and dollies. She’s all girl. And I love her so much and, truth be told, I’m growing to like the ballet and pink and flowers and dollies, too. I am. But I still can’t help but to think WHO IS THIS CHILD when she oozes girlyness.

dressed all in pink, wanting pink flowers. of course.

 

It still baffles me how crazy girly she is. I mean, she even now does this high pitched squeal thing when something cracks her up on TV. Just like a girl.

riding her big wheel with her first flower FROM A BOY tucked over her shoulder.

 

My girl.

My pink-loving, tutu-wearing, not-wanting-to-get-dirty girly girl.