October 30, 2013

So this kid of mine...

So this kid of mine...

this child who makes a smile cover my face just when I think of her... this child who is so much more than I ever imagined... this child who is so damn smart and funny... this child who is quickly approaching 4... this child who is going to be a Pirate tomorrow for Halloween despite not allowing us to leave Costco one day last month without a Rapunzel costume (and wig)... this child who is worried that my hair is still white... this child who can't wait to have a baby come from her tummy one day... this child who is the essence of life, of beauty, of innocence, of purity...

She's said some fun things this year that I haven't really recorded here but probably should. Unfortunately I only started posting her quips to Facebook the other month so this is all I have:

Lovie: Mama can I have some hot chocolate?

Me: How about some warm milk?

Lovie: Well hot chocolate is made with milk so how about some hot chocolate?

Lovie: Mama why is your hair white?

Me: Because I'm getting old.

Lovie: Does that mean you're gonna be dead?

Me, wanting to scoop her into my arms forever: No baby, hopefully not for a long time.   


obviously this isn't a real conversation... not really:

Hi my name is Lovie and I'm so excited today is Saturday because that means we're having our tea party!! So because I'm so excited it took me extra long to fall asleep last night and then at 4:30 this morning I got up and came into my mommy and daddy's room because IT'S SATURDAY AND THAT MEANS WE'RE HAVING A TEA PARTY!!!! So what if the party isn't till 3 pm? IT'S SATURDAY AND THAT MEANS TEA PARTY DAY!!!!


Me: [Lovie], can you pick up the popsicle stick from the floor?
Lovie: popsicle?? Did somebody say popsicle?
Me, looking at used stick on floor from popsicle she consumed minutes prior: Yes, can you please pick up the popsicle stick and throw it away?
Lovie: popsicle?? Yeah sure I'll have another popsicle.
Me: So what do you want for Christmas?
Lovie, sitting upright in bed: A baby. I want a baby in my tummy (she pats her belly) because I haven't had a baby come from my tummy yet so that's what I want for Christmas.
Me, looking at her and then quickly back down to the books we were reading: Oh honey, it's going to be a long, loooong time before you can have a baby in your belly.

October 18, 2013

very random and emotional

I sit at my desk at work and look at pictures of Lovie-- from her birth announcement to a black and white printout of a shot from the other week's tea party.

I can't help but see how most of the photos are from photo cards with Lovie plastered on them: Easter/Spring, Christmas, Mother's Day, New Year's, Valentine's Day. And then it dawns on me that I haven't done a photo card in quite some time.

It's mid-October. I believe the last photo card I sent was last Christmas.

It's a symbol of the year I've had, I think.

Oma's passing in late March occupied so much of me-- both physically and emotionally, of course. It's been some time since I've last reflected on her (here on the blog). I've shed so many tears, felt so much heartbreak and poured it all out here.

Right now I'm crying... the tears flow once again.

I miss my Oma.

She loved getting the photo cards of Lovie. Any time I would visit her (and my mom), I would see the latest card displayed and I'd always find the others tucked in other places around the house as well.

My Oma and My Lovie: the two most important females in my life.

Wow, I'm incredibly sad right now. I'm not sure why to be honest, but the tears are making it quite difficult to compose this post. The tears and the shaking from trying to hold back the tears.

It's been a while... a long while since I've last reflected on Oma. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Just odd that it's happening on such a random fall day.

I guess that's life though, huh?

October 16, 2013

Freezing time

Bliss is watching your child glow from doing something they absolutely love to do but don't get the chance to do it too often.

This past Saturday we took a long drive out to a friends house for a birthday party for a brand new 3-year-old. The weather, while threatening to rain, actually ended up being quite perfect. Especially for two hours of pony rides. There was Dolly (left) who was bigger and so pretty and then there was Macaroni (right) who was dolled up like a unicorn, of course. What birthday party is complete without a unicorn?!

Lovie was in heaven during all of the party. Aside from the two hours of pony rides, there were leaves with kid-size rakes to be raked, pizza and cake, and a sandbox.

But the absolute highlight was seeing her face washed with a smile around those ponies.


Bliss is watching a lonely old man realize how loved and cared for he really is.

This past Sunday we threw a surprise party for my dad's 80th birthday. It wasn't very lavish and there were only about 25 people (local family) in attendance, but it was perfect because the surprise was an absolute success-- in the end.

My dad almost ruined the surprise by driving downtown instead of being home when my nephew went to pick him up, but luckily my nephew called him and ordered him back to the burbs where the party was being held in a pizza place near Lovie's school. We all watched from the party room (located upstairs) when my dad finally arrived and started frantically waving his arms around while his face got red because of whatever he was bitching about to my poor nephew. Something about how he had to rush everywhere because  "nobody can-ah answer the phone-ah when [he] calls-ah."

Seeing his reaction after he opened the door to the party and after everyone shouted SURPRISE made my heart fill with so much warmth. He looked so happy, so pleasantly surprised, as everyone lined up to give him a hug and wish him a Happy Birthday.

There was lots of laughter, running around, frosting being thrown, tickles... We had calamari, spinach dip and tortilla chips, salad, pasta, pizza and pop.

Several people told me how great it was for me to throw the party and while that was sweet of them to say, I just don't understand why it's a big deal. The man turned 80. Granted 80 isn't 100, but 80 is still a big friggin deal. Why not let someone know you care about them today before it's too late?!

I mean, I didn't throw it to be thanked. I didn't throw it because it was expected. I threw it because a) he's old and turned EIGHTY, b) he needs to understand that people really do still care about him even though he's living in a retirement home and doesn't always hear from us. And all of that was very much accomplished so yay!


Bliss is feeling your baby girl's hand reach for your hand to hold onto while she drifts to sleep.

This love of mine did just that this morning at about 4:30 after she came in our room because she had to go potty. After she did her business, she sleepily said, "I go sleep in mama and daddy's bed now" while she slumbered into her room to grab her pillow and Grandmabear. She climbed up into our bed and planted herself in the middle between Taye and me, and a couple minutes later, she took my hand, which was near my face, and held onto it while she brought it closer to her. Slowly I could feel her grip lessen as she drifted off to sleep.


There are times when you wish you could just freeze time. These are some of mine lately. What are some of yours?

October 8, 2013

a couple conversations and a quick tea party review

"Mama, am I still three and a half?"

"Yes, baby. You've got a couple more months till you're four. Remember, first there's Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then right after Christmas is..."

"My birthdaaaaaaay!"


"And for my birthday, I want to hang a pinyana at the jumpy house."

"A piƱata?"

"Yes, a pinyana. Because yesterday the other day when we went to Target to get you coffee, Daddy and me saw the pinyana and that's what I want at my birthday party in the room with the pizza and cake not by the jumpy things."

"You got it, love."

"Mama, your hair is still white."

"Yes, you're right. It is. Why?"

"Well you can't be my mommy wif white hair."

"I will always always always always be your mommy, you hear?"

"But if your hair isn't like mine then you can't be my mommy."

"Well maybe I'll color it green."

Lovie looks at me, mouth ajar as I smile.

"I'll still be your mama with green or white or no hair."


The Bitty Baby Tea Party was quite the success.


Seven little girls, all dolled up with their baby dolls. Tea party sets to play with. Finger foods. Cupcakes.

Lots of pink and purple, lots of giggles (and a little drama), lots and lots of fun.