There’s a whole process to follow. A routine. And if I skip a beat of it, the whole day is a disaster.
My alarm sounds at 4:45 AM.
Good thing I’m a morning person.
Good thing I’m not one who needs to hit the snooze button seventeen hundred
times before actually lifting my body up and putting my feet on the floor.
- I go to the bathroom, shower, apply gel and hairspray to my hair and head out of the bathroom to open the door to Lovie’s room, shut off her sound machine, open the closet door so the light acting as night light brightens the room a bit.
- I go into the kitchen, pour a sippy cup of milk and place it on the table, grab a couple pieces and bread and pop them in the toaster, and grab and water two eggs to medium boil.
- As the eggs dance in the water and the bread crisps in the toaster oven, I head into the bathroom to apply some mascara, brush my teeth, apply some deodorant, apply more mascara, take my morning drugs (all legal- no worries), apply my under eye cream.
- By then the toaster has dinged and the water is bubbling on the stove so I shut that off and rescue the eggs from the boiling hot water. Then I make my way into Lovie’s room.
- If I’ve made enough noise, she’ll be awake but still lying there, ready for me to tickle her toes and turn my hand into a spider crawling on her arched back as she scrunches up into a ball trying to stifle the giggles.
While I need her to get up and be compliant that moment, I’ve learned that demands make it worse. I try to make it fun- a couple tickles, ask her what she wants to wear, kisses and hugs, raspberries on her tummy while getting her dressed as quickly as possible so that we can head back into the bathroom to brush teeth, wash face, do hair. (This is where the biggest struggle always comes. Every morning. I place her on the sink to brush her teeth and she has no interest. I try brushing and she slams her mouth shut, jerks her head from side to side. I try headlocking her and her arms block me from moving in with the brush. So I’ve succumbed to laying her ass on the floor and for some reason she lets me brush her teeth very easily then. No fuss. Whatever it takes.)
I take a wet wash cloth and wipe her face after brushing her teeth, and then it’s time for her hair. Since we don’t comb it when it’s dry and it’s always dry in the mornings, I just spray it with a frizz free tangle tamer and scrunch or throw it up into to ponytails if Princess Lovie will allow.
Then she grabs her milk off the kitchen table and heads into my bedroom to hop on the bed and watch TV for a few minutes with a snoring Daddy while I turn my eggs into a tinfoil wrapped sandwich (Lovie eats at school). Then I get dressed, get Lovie’s coat on, and by 6AM(ish) we’re heading for the door.
If I follow this routine, Lovie is pretty compliant (sans the damn toothbrushing). If I don’t follow this routine, Lovie’s a bear. She gets mean. She kicks. She
says screams NO a lot. She cries.
So is she a morning person? Uh, if I’m gentle she is. Otherwise...NO. She’s a lot like her dad over there snoring in bed.