December 30, 2010

Party One

I rushed to pick up Lovie from daycare yesterday, and then rushed home so that her dad and I could party down with our little munchkin. She turned ONE yesterday. And while her big party is on Saturday, we weren't about to let the day go without some sort of celebration... it's been the best freakin year of our lives, after all!

favorite dinner: Mac N Cheese
she was super tired and therefore super clingy... and i was a-ok with getting lots of hugs
favorite picture- that smile is what it's all about!

December 29, 2010


Happy 1st Birthday to my one and only Lovie!!

then (12/2009)                                          and now (12/2010)            

The Paper Mama

December 28, 2010

My doll

Just last night, I watched as you played with some of your new toys- especially your new baby doll. My goodness do you love that thing. Your voice gets so soft and high pitched and your face lights up with a big ole (almost) toothless grin when you show me your baby doll.  My baby doll holding her baby doll.

A piece of me always melts when I watch you play.  You're so incredibly happy.  All the time.  It truly is amazing.  You are truly amazing.

My sweet baby doll. 

The absolute love and light of my life. 

How life was lived before you doesn't even matter anymore. Nothing matters but you and your health and your happiness.  And as I watch you play and watch as you have a smile on your face at all times... I realize that I have everything in life. I have it all.  And it's amazing.  Life is amazing and so full and so warm and it's all because of you. My sweet baby doll.


My Facebook Status today (from 7am): One year ago... just one short year ago ... I was embarking upon the greatest chapter of my life. It's absolutely incredible to think about how long I yearned for that change- and how much more magical it is once it happens. And in 17 more hours that magic was bundled up tightly and placed into my arms- and every single thing in my life finally made sense. I'm so unbelievably blessed...and quite the sap lately.

If I were an update whore, it would now read: One year ago I was laying in the hospital bed unable to feel anything from midsection down. My water broke about an hour ago and I opted to get the epidural almost immediately as the pain... oh the pain! I wouldn't start pushing until 10PM. And miss Lovie will be celebrating her 1st year with us at 120 in the morning.

She's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. (here come the tears- I've been emotional all day!) I waited so friggin long to become a mom and was blessed with the most amazing, most beautiful, most sweetest, most happiest baby. I just can't believe she's mine and that she's 1 (in 12 hours and 13 minutes).


December 27, 2010

Help... Please!

I really need guidance, advice, opinions, thoughts, ideas, etc.

For several months I've been working on making a video of my Lovie of her first year... and I finally finished it last week. I couldn't even say how many hours I put into this thing... this thing that is like three and a half minutes long.  And holy hell was it difficult to get it down that short.  But I wanted it to fit inside the length of my favorite Lovie song... a current song that reminds me of her every single time I hear it.  And it fits perfectly now. The video is perfect. It really is.

But. I made it on Windows DVD Maker. So I can burn it to a dvd but then what?? I want to share it on Lovie's private blog and on Facebook and even here. But how?? How do I get the video from the dvd onto the computer and into the web?? And how do I get permission to use the song we're using?

Please. If you can offer any thoughts on the matter, I'd be sooooo appreciative.


December 22, 2010

Three days before Christmas

...and I'm actually excited (and while there are f-bombs below- you've been WARNED- they are out of pure and utter excitement, I swear- haha, yes I do).

I'm off tomorrow so it's just me and my girl and we're gonna bake cookies (and eat some of course) and wrap presents while Xmas music is playing. We'll stop for the occasional dance because my girl, she LOVES to dance. We'll nap. And then we'll do it all over again until daddy comes home or until bedtime- and I cannot fucking WAIT.

Then Friday is Christmas Eve and daddy'll be home with us so I'm thinking we'll take things as slow as we can till it's time to get all dolled up and head out to Oma's house to be with my Oma and the rest of the family. I can't fucking wait to watch Lovie play with her 3 and 4 yo cousins. I can't fucking wait to watch them all open presents and have FUN. I can't fucking wait to watch my Oma's eyes glisten as she, too, watches the wee one's and their faces light up. I just can't fucking wait!

And before we leave Oma's, we'll put lovebug in her pj's so that when we get home, she can go straight to bed so that Santa can come. ... and then Christmas morning she'll wake up and we'll all rush to the Christmas Tree and see what's there! I'll put Christmas music on (love that we can do this on cable- no commercials or anything) and make Monkey Bread (for the first time- hoping to do it every year) and coffee. We'll open presents and play and dance and laugh... Around noon Grandpa will come over and we'll do it all again but with cookies and cheese and crackers and such. Then Grandpa will leave and the in-laws will come and we'll do it all over again and have a feast for dinner!

I honestly cannot fucking wait. I have been waiting FOREVER to have this kind of Christmas- a Norman Rockwell Christmas! There's snow on the ground, a chill in the air, and a baby to experience Christmas for the very first time.


Wordless Wednesday

December 20, 2010

Last week

Last week was rough for me (health wise). This whole month has been actually. Thank God I did most of Lovie's 1st Christmas and 1st Birthday shopping done months ago. THANK GOD. I don't know what I'd be doing if I hadn't.

But who cares about me? What about Lovie?!?? How's my Lovie?! FABULOUS, of course:

Monday I went to work, stupidly. Tuesday I stayed home and the husband was kind enough to bring Lovie to and from daycare for me... first time ever (her school is closer to my work and we work in completely different directions from home). Wednesday I REALLY stupidly went to work and thought I was gonna die so left early and picked up Lovie.  Thursday and Friday it was me and my girl all day long!  I was not feeling well- at all- but that girl has a way of bringing magic into my world and making any bad much better.

Saturday... Saturday we had a professional photographer come to our place at 11am. First pro shots of the girl since she was born. I was so nervous that it would be a waste of money because Lovie is just so serious in front of the camera with people she doesn't know. But it was FABULOUS. And I'm so grateful we waited this long and went this route. The photog posted 10 teasers... I shared one yesterday and if you haven't seen it, it's truly your loss... and here's another favorite of mine from the shoot:

Gah, I love how crazy her curls are and her big eyes and that nose I wanna nom off her face and the shirt... I love that shirt and am so glad I bought it because everyone seems to have forgotten that this Christmas is Lovie's first. My Lovie. My Life. My Everything.

December 13, 2010

weekend in pics

I'm freaking sick again. This time it's my sinuses. I honestly can't handle much more of this. Between Lovie and me, we've probably been sick every day of this past year. Unfreakingbelievable.


This here below was taken Friday, 12/10- 19 days to go. She drinks well from a sippy but has yet to drink an entire bottle's worth... instead, she enjoys shaking it up and down and throwing it on the floor.

Below is from Saturday morning, 12/11- 18 days to go. I love her Grumpy Old man face. : )  And yes, this is how I dress her on the weekends- extra warm sweatshirt, diaper, leggings (these were $1 from Target- women's knee high socks with the feet cut off: bada boom, bada bing!), shoes*.

Below is from Saturday night, 12/11- 18 days to go: first Santa pic ever. I wanted her to cry because I'm mean and LOVE the hysterical Santa pics but nooooo, not my kid. She's all "Get on with it already." But she's damn cute. And so is that onesie I got from Etsy just hours before going to the mall.

Below is from Sunday morning, 12/12- 17 days to go. She's rediscovering Sophie, the damn giraffe I was stupid enough to buy. *(Oh and the shoes. While they're super cute and easy to put on and stay on, I can't tell you how many times she wiped out. On her face. :(  If you have a walker and hardwood floors- nix those shoes.)

Finally, my favorite pic from the weekend comes from last night, 12/12- 17 days to go. The husband made me this hat (yes, we both took up knitting in January of 2009) over a year ago except it was way too small (I have a big head a shitton of hair) and we found it and put it on Lovie and she wore it all night. And she wore it way better than I ever could. I just don't get how she can be THAT damn cute!!

December 10, 2010


from day 9 in the last month of infancy...

is it just me or does she look older in this pic? *sniffle*

those are her very first pair of long jeans she ever had and wore: size 6-12 from Old Navy (so is the onesie now that I think about it!). The cuff on the bottom is sewn like that and when I first put these on her 6 months ago, I had to roll them up even higher! Wow, huh? And look at the pockets!! Haha, think it's definitely time to retire these jeans, huh? Yeah, I think I'll retire them in the "keep" box. They are her first pair of jeans after all.

December 9, 2010

STUFF(ed animals)

From yesterday, day 8 of Lovie's last month in infanthood:

She loves her stuffed animals. This is probably her second or third favorite- her heart belongs to her grandmabear though.

So I hate stuffed animals. Hate them. They're a waste of space to me.... at least that's how I felt a year ago. 

Well, not anymore. It started several months back (like 7 months or so- geez!) when the hubs and I were sitting on the couch and I was playing with Lovie. I laid her on the couch between us, grabbed her bunny (given to her on Easter from her grandpa) and started acting like it was hopping closer and closer to her until it kissed her nose. She squealed in delight. OMG it was the funniest, most sweetest thing ever. I kept doing it and she kept squealing in delight. After a couple minutes, I let go of the bunny when it was kissing her and Lovie grabbed it with all her might and hugged it and kissed it and starting eating it. After a couple minutes of that, I took it away and started the play all over again. And she LOVED it. I think we did this for like an hour that day.

So now the hate I have for the waste of space creatures is stifled. Actually, it's gone. No more hatred from this momma. Not after seeing my baby doll so enamored by them.

Speaking of being enamored, wanna be a part of something pretty damn cool by another momma who's enamored by her cherubic babe? Check out sweet Caroline's momma's blog about giving $$ to St. Jude's - and all you have to do is leave a comment (spamming doesn't count, of course!) on her blog!!

December 8, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: aaand Action!

from day 7- 22 days left in infanthood

I really didn't think it would happen this fast, but now she's starting to try to RUN. It cracks my shit up, too. I mean, look at that face! BTW, where's her foot?? It totally look like she has not left foot.

December 7, 2010

Blessings- the Challenge

These are my blessings (the *only* photo snapped on Thanksgiving, oddly enough... must've been too busy stuffing my fat head full of food, glorious food enjoying Lovie and her first Thanksgiving or something):

The Paper Mama


Oh man that's pretty much how I feel right now. Sooooo bloody tired. All the time! Gah!

That there pic is from yesterday- day 6 of Lovie's final month in infancy. It's cold around here so it's imperative she get bundled up as much as possible to go to and from the car. (I could go into a rant right now about that but WTF is the point?) We just got home and I had to set her down or I was gonna drop her. She's SO heavy. She may be walking now, but it's not like I can have her walk up and down the street when there's snow and ice out there... and I can't have her go up and down the stairs yet either (2nd floor unit). (I actually had tears in my eyes this morning as we left... why won't she hold onto me like she does in the middle of the night?? If I drop her... or if I fall... I will never forgive myself. I'm not sure what to do but it's not getting any easier carrying her up and down the hallway stairs, up and down the outside stairs covered in ice, up and down the block covered in snow and ice.)

December 6, 2010

200th Post ~ Countdown: Days 4 & 5

How this is my 200th post, I dunno. Craziness. And speaking of crazy, check out Lovie's hair in day 5's pic below! Yowza chica!

First, this one's from Saturday, day 4:

We got our first snow of the season and it was GORGEOUS to see on the trees and streets. Lovie enjoyed watching it fall. We didn't make it out to play; I can't find my gloves and Lovie doesn't have any snow boots.

Yesterday we finally managed to get the tree up (prelit to save some sanity) and most of the lights in the window thanks to my raging bitchiness this weekend... it was be a bitch or wait until next bloody Christmas for the decor to get up. Ugh! As it is we still have one window left to put plastic and lights on but the majority of it is all complete.

This pic was taken earlier in the day when Lovie and I were playing. I just got done bombarding her with a million kisses (that pic didn't turn out- boo!!)...

December 3, 2010

Countdown: Days 2 & 3

Well yesterday it was a tad rough getting a picture of my lovebug. She had only one super shitty short nap at daycare and passed out in the car. When I got her out of the carseat, she kept on sleeping... snoring on my shoulder as we walked down the block (fucking city life parking bullshit), up the stairs, and into the apartment. I laid her in the crib and she still snored. Took off her jacket and she just rolled on over, tucked her knees up under her, stuck her butt in the air, and kept on sleeping.

Man, if only I could sleep like that.

So this is December 2nd's photo:

It's the best I could do. Man, did I miss her yesterday.

Welp, she sorta made up for it today. She woke around midnight (we left school at 345 so she basically slept from 4-midnight!) for a bottle and the hubs changed her into her pj's and she went right back to sleep, apparently. I had to stumble in her room around 3 to give her a binky and rub her back... then again at 320... then at 330 I gave up and gave her a bottle, which she guzzled. Then I heard her laughing at 4... whimpering at 420... and finally she started hollering for us at 5. In the morning. Ugh. I got up and played with her (well she played and I sat in the chair trying to close my eyes but she kept wanting me to read her favorite story- I Love You So -over and over again), then gave her some cheerios, then changed her insanely poopified diaper, then put her back to bed at 630. And she actually fell for it and went to sleep!

Then the hubs got out of the shower at 650 and walked by her room and she hollered for him and he kept walking into our room where I was trying to sleep. Men! I scolded him and told him to give her a binky cuz she's trying to sleep. He obliged and girlfriend didn't wake till nearly 9. In the morning!!! That means Her Momma got to get in a bit of a nap, too. HOLLA!

After she woke, I tried giving her some more cheerios and a bottle, changed her, put on her jacket, and off we went to school and work. Only my work today consisted of a holiday party (which is why we both got naps this morning- normally we leave the house at 6am!). I picked baby doll back up after the party and we went and got her some new shoes!!

I LOVE SHOES. Only I had a bone removed my foot several years back and since then, can only wear big fat ugly shoes- ones that can fit custom orthotic footbeds. FUN TIMES! But now I get to buy her all kind of cute shoes... especially now that she's walking.

Those cute shoes are Rileyroos and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I swear she seems to walk even better with those on. While I don't believe in spending a lot of $$ on baby clothes and shoes, I do feel that she needed a good pair of shoes when she started walking. And that's where we're at. So this time, I spent the $$. Next time, we'll be hitting up Payless or Target.

December 2, 2010

Countdown via images: day 1

So my Lovie turns the big ONE on the 29th of this month.

...pause so her momma can gather her composure...

In honor of this momentous occasion, I've decided to take pictures and/or videos every single day from now until then. Now I realize that gobs of you do this anyway but for me, it's a pretty big deal. I don't often find myself near the camera during the week as there just isn't that much time. But I'll be making the time until the 29th, damnit.

Last night was fun. Lovie's discovered how to turn on the noise activated Christmas lights I bought the other day so that occupies much of her time lately. That, and chasing me down the hallway, of course: