May 11, 2012

TILTW: 5/5-5/11

* I'm a bit nervous but also relieved: I made an appointment with my gynie in two weeks for my incredibly difficult-to-deal-with moods the two weeks before my period plus my incredibly heavy-for-two-days period when I finally get it. It's funny because when I first started getting my period after Lovie's birth, it always came as a surprise- my PMS was gone, it seemed, and cramps and stuff seemed to subside as well. The past 6 months, though?? It's like my body knows I'm turning 40 this year and is revolting against me. Or something. I dunno. I just am terrified of that period before my period. I detest the person I become. So hopefully the good doc will be able to shed some light or drugs to better help me cope. I absolutely do not want Lovie to have memories of her Mama freaking the F out on her because she was being 2.

* Bedtimes with Lovie have been... beautiful. Yes, beautiful since really following the suggestions provided in 1-2-3 Magic. It really and truly is Magical.

* I struggled with writing My Mama this week. I knew I wanted to write it; I've known for a long time I wanted to write it. And I figured Mother's Day week was a great time to do so... yet I still struggled. The thing is that I write for me. Because I need to. Writing has been a lifesaver for me. Literally. When it comes to writing publicly however, I have to become aware of my audience- be it one or one hundred readers. I don't want someone reading to be hurt by my words; it's OK for someone not to agree with me, but I just don't want to hurt someone. You know? Plus, I also wonder about what would happen if the person I might be writing about would stumble across the piece some day. Again, I don't want to hurt anyone, but I also need to be honest. For me.  Anyway, I'm glad I wrote My Mama, I'm glad I shared it with the amazing Yeah Write community, and I'm oh so ever grateful for all the comments that felt like hugs. So I guess, what I'm trying to say is Thank You.

* I've come to the realization that, when bringing Lovie to the park/playground, I prefer the Helicopter parents (ones that hover over their child's every move) over the Glued-to-the-Phone ones (who don't give a shit what their kid is doing as long as they can Facebook email Tweet read text blog, etc). But I absolutely detest the I'm-Boss-of-You-and-Everyone-Will-Know-It parents (who scream at their kids every friggin "wrong" move). Also, I'm beginning to wonder if my disdain for people started at a very young age because man, do all kinds of people show up at the park (in the city at least) and man, do most annoy the shit out of me.

Happy Weekend and
Happy Mother's Day to each and every one
of you moms or love-like-mom moms.

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