May 7, 2012


I'm getting kind of scared now.

I still feel like I did  a week ago. Maybe even worse.

I feel like I have so very little control left of my sanity. I feel so full of ... rage. And for no fucking reason. None whatsoever. But still, I feel like this rage is eating me up. I feel like it's on the verge of exploding out of me and onto others.

I feel angry. Angry and sad. And so motherfucking tired.

I sincerely feel like I'm losing my grip on the reality I used to know. And it's so confusing.

I attribute this all to PMS but I really can't recall the last time I've had PMS this fucking bad.

I'm near tears at all times. But more than that, I'm near exploding. VIOLENTLY exploding.

Every and any little motherfucking thing pisses me off.

I've snapped so much this weekend despite trying to not open my mouth.

I don't like feeling like this and no matter what I do, nothing seems to help. Not even a little bit.

These feelings are completely consuming me and I'm scared that I may finally just lose my shit.

Jesus Christ somethings gotta give.

Do I go to a gynecologist? A psychologist? What the fuck do I do with all this motherfucking anger inside of me??

(And no, I still don't have my motherfucking period and hell no is there a chance that I could be pregnant.)


  1. This sounds like PPMD (PMS evil sister). I would start by going to your gynecologist. There are medications that can help and s/he can either prescribe something if they think PPMD is the culprit or refer you to someone who can.

    I hope it gets better! Recently, I've been dealing with my own demons and I know how hard it is.

    1. thank you SO much for reading and commenting. i'm sorry you're struggling, too.

  2. Oh Christina, I hate those feelings, that rage that sits under. Recently, I've felt myself boil like a teapot, and after, I'm like WTF? Who am I?
    I truly hope that if it's something like PPMD, you can get the meds to help! xoxo

  3. I agree with the ladies above. I had a rager case of pms last month, way worse than I've ever had. My period was over 2 wks late and it almost felt like the hormones just kept building and building the entire time. Luckily once it came I went back to my regularly, only moderately angry all the time self. Good luck, I hope you feel better - and cut yourself some slack, you're sort of at your body's mercy right now. :)


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