May 21, 2012


Earlier last week, Lovie had a black eye when I picked her up from school. I mean, it wasn't a BLACK EYE but it was a black eye; it looked like her eye lid and just below her eye was scratched.

I looked for an incident report in her cubbie to no avail. I wanted to ask one of the teachers about it but, as usual, the place was a friggin zoo (she's still in Toddler room which is supposed to be 18 months to 2 but they're always months behind in moving the kids). So I let it go like I often do when I see marks on her (since she's 2 and all). I asked her what happened and she hadn't a clue. Then I asked her if someone scratched her and she told me,"Laney" (fake name) "did it." (This poor girl gets blamed for everything yet she and Lovie are BFFs!) I let it go.

The next day brought a new scratch and this seemed to be the theme for the week. I trimmed her nails two days in a row in case I didn't trim them good enough the first time. Still, another scratch on her face the next day with no incident report.

Finally when I had a chance to ask about it on Thursday, I did. The teacher (main one) said she didn't know of any incidents. And I figured Lovie would've screamed out if someone was bugging her. So we both told her to be sure to tell Miss Jane (fake name) if someone hits or pushes or scratches or bites her, etc. I don't want her to be a tattle tale but every single day is too much.

Friday when I picked Lovie up, she saw me from across the room and ran to me, like normal. Miss Jane was sitting across the room reading to the kids. She got up and came over to the door to where the cubbies are and looked through them and then proceeded to tell me Lovie had a bad day. She was being very bossy and assertive to the other kids- in the morning especially- and an incident report was written against her.

A part of me was surprised; in the 2+ years we've been going there, we've never encountered a problem where Lovie is the problem child. I'M NOT SAYING SHE'S PERFECT just that I was definitely caught off guard. A little. A bigger part of me wanted to shout, "Well good for her!!" I mean, really, the kid is coming home with scratches and a black eye every single day (the scratches- not the black eye) and the day after I bring it up, all of a sudden, she's the problem child?

I didn't say that, of course. I just looked at Lovie and noted no new scratch marks and asked if she was OK. I mean, I couldn't very well punish her hours after the fact... could I? I don't even know what she did other than "be bossy and assertive" to which I say... SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S TWO TO ME!

I kid. Sort of.

On the way home, she wanted to stop off at the park and "play wid my friends." I debated for a second if I should allow it and then went ahead and stopped at the park. For the second day in a row we were the only ones there. Then another girl, near 4, came with her dad and they, too, played in the sandbox. The girls saw each other but kept to themselves until the 4 year old finally picked up her stuff and plopped down next to Lovie, declaring "I want to play with you."

Lovie looked at her and they sat together and did their sand thing for about half hour.

It was super cute. ISN'T IT SUPER DAMN CUTE?!??

I guess she got all her bossy assertiveness out at school before taking it out on me this morning when she shouted, "NO, I DON'T LIKE JEANS!" as I tried getting her dressed.

Can't wait to hear how her day went today. I hope better, I really do. But not as much as I hope they moved her up to the early preschool room where she belongs with the rest of her peers.


So I typed this all up and never hit Publish because I didn't finish writing it till just before going to pick Lovie up from school; I figured I'd wait to see what transpired. Well... guess who had another black eye when I picked her up today? Her daddy is not very happy. Miss Jane came up to me to tell me about it first hand, and handed me an incident report. This black eye is worse than last week's (that went completely undetected by anyone). And... I'm kind of pissed. I know this stuff happens- these are young children together all day long. But... after one full week of marks and a second black eye... well, how should I feel? 


  1. It sounds like Lovie REALLY needs to be moved up to the the other class. Rylie would get very bossy when she was getting too old for her current room at daycare and was always getting herself into soon as she moved up, though, life was good again.

    I'm so torn on the scratches and black eyes. I have been on both sides of that coin. With Rylie, she was the one getting hurt all the time, and for a while there, Bryce was the one being the aggressor. If Lovie is having issues with one child in particular, then her teachers need to protect both children and make sure they keep them apart. Two is a hard age. While some kids can talk, they still have a hard time expressing their feelings, and sometimes they are just bothered by things that we might not think is a big deal. If she is being hurt by different children, then again, she needs to be moved to another room.

    I hate all of the daycare woes. Like I said, I have been on both sides of this dilemma, and many others. Luckily they are all usually just phases, and while one week your kid may be the one coming home with black eyes, the next week she could be giving them. ;-)

    Oh, and as far as Lovie being assertive - that may just be her personality. Rylie is very assertive, and the kids seem to follow her lead. Her teacher brought it up to me once and I asked her if she was being BOSSY, or ASSERTIVE. Because I'm OK with assertive, as long as it is done politely. We have to have leaders in the world, and if our girls have decided at young ages that they are going to be leaders, we should give them the freedom to long as they lead with respect. :-)

    1. Thank you SO much for this. I really needed it- especially after I picked her up from school yesterday and she had ANOTHER black eye (other eye).This time the kid drew blood. I'm so not happy. But Lovie still is, thankfully. I finally had a chance to talk to the director. I mean, a week and a half of new marks every single day is just kind of ridiculous. Director said they're trying to have the teachers do 5-6 activities instead of just 2-3. Uh, ya think? Ugh. I asked when she was moving because she's 2y5m and is beyond ready to move. Like I thought, they make the changes in the summertime when kids leave for the summer and stuff. It's really hard not to get frustrated. Lovie has absolutely no problem using her words, but because many of the kids in her room are 18-24 months, I'm thinking they can't communicate as well. So rather than the younger kid saying "no that's my toy!" they just scratch and pull and pinch. I get it. I do. But then get better supervision in there or move her already. We'll see how today goes. :)


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