I've talked about this several other times on this blog since starting it 20 months ago... why I'm most likely on Team One and Done. At first I harbored a lot of guilt about even thinking that we were on this team but as time progresses and as friends and family near and dear expand their families and we don't, I become more certain that the team we've chosen is most definitely the right one. FOR US.
Why the decision to have only one child?
In no particular order...
* I'm 39. I suffered one missed miscarriage before becoming pregnant with Lovie nine months later. I have absolutely no desire to go through the ups and downs of trying to conceive. No desire whatsoever. Yes, much of that has to do with fear- particularly the fear of miscarrying again or the fear of getting my hopes up only for them to be squashed.
* But more than the fear, I'm just tired. And the thought of getting pregnant again and staying pregnant for another nine months exhausts me. Just the thought of it exhausts me, imagine how I'd actually be if I were pregnant and caring for a 2 year old. No thanks. I mean, if it happens, it happens but we're not trying and ... just no thank you.
* Lovie completes me. As cheesy and cliche and whatever else you want to say as it is, it's true. The moment she was born, the moment I heard her cry out, the moment I laid eyes on her... I just knew this was it. She was the reason for life and my life was complete.
* I get to gush and gush and gush about her and only her and not feel guilty about doing so. I don't have to divide my attention between two or three or four other kids.
* I get to focus everything on to Lovie. Sure I could spoil her rotten with toys and clothes and other meaningless (when it comes down to it) crap, but I don't; instead, she gets my full attention and there's no guilt for doing so.
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Sounds like you know, deep down that your family is complete! That photo is frameworthy! Perfection.
ReplyDeleteI love that feeling of complete-ness. It's so very- peaceful, is not it?
ReplyDelete{Adorable photo!}
thanks guys. yes the feeling of complete-ness is very peaceful- especially once i let go of the guilt! :)
ReplyDeleteI heart this so much. Reading this made me wonder why it is so hard for us moms of one to admit to be happy with our choice. This guilt really should stop. Back in Europe I never felt this bad about carrying my choice.
ReplyDeleteThe photo is so beautiful!
I think the number of children in a family doesn't matter. We were on the "one and done" team for almost five years before adding our youngest into the mix.
ReplyDeleteBeing content with the family you have is really all you need.
Hooray for feeling complete! It's a great feeling.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture! I'm on the four (or more?) team. We just need to let go of the guilt and be happy with how we've chosen to live as a family.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe others would make you feel guilty, or bad for just wanting one. that's utterly ridiculous - to judge someone's choice like that! I hope you tell them to stick it - sweetly of course. HA!
ReplyDeleteI think those are wonderful reasons to feel done with one. And if it's the way that YOU feel, that's all that matters!
ReplyDeleteLove your reasons for "one and done". And, I love that beautiful picture!
ReplyDeleteMaybe if my parents had given more of their attention to me I wouldn't hate being an only child. They weren't bad parents, but they definitely didn't make me the center of their world. And because I didn't enjoy being an only, I greatly felt the need to have more than 1.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's best for your family, it's wonderful that you know for sure you're complete!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she'd much rather be the focus of all that love and attention than be spoiled with stuff! I'm glad you have each other!
ReplyDeleteYou are complete Christina. You have a wonderful family of 3 and that little cutie pie of yours is one very blessed kid! :)
ReplyDeleteI think that whatever is your stance on this subject, it's just good to feel that it's the right thing for you. you're a great mom!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you feel that your family is complete. Happy family of 3..love the pic.
ReplyDeleteThese sound like perfectly good reasons to me! Yay you!
ReplyDeleteYour reasons are great reasons! I always wonder why we Moms feel the need to sell our decisions so others agree... but you don't at all here and I love that!!
ReplyDeleteI am another member of team one and done. I totally get a lot of your reasons too - I love to be able to give him my full attention and be able to give him experiences that I probably wouldn't be able to if we had another child.
ReplyDeleteGreat list.