Good Morning

Earlier, when I went in to wake my Lovie, I found her on her belly with her head up like she was doing tummy time.  She gave me the hugest smile when I said Good Morning and asked what she was doing.  She's been rolling from belly to back for a good month or so and she almost always rolls to her side when she goes to sleep but hasn't yet (that I witnessed, at least) rolled to her belly from back. Till now.

I almost cried.

I've also been having her practice sitting on her own without assistance from the Bumbo or us.  A month ago she was still flopping over almost as quickly as I released my hands from holding her up.  Now... it's a whole other ball game.  Baby doll is super damn close to sitting completely on her own.  I need to get some pictures of this.  It's damn cute.  But that's no surprise considering how damn cute she is without having to do anything.

This is happening so fast.  All of it.  I swear to god I just brought her home yesterday and she was terrified of everything and now... she's this real little person.

My god... I think back at my life and think about the absolutely shitty times I've had, I've lived through and THANK GOD  I survived so that I could be here today and be a part of Lovie's life.  I still wonder why some times were so shitty but it doesn't matter... it really doesn't because all that matters is Lovie and she's just incredibly awesome and how incredibly lucky and blessed am I to be her momma?!

I'm so happy and so proud.

I am a Mommy.

This is how I define myself now and I couldn't be happier about that. I don't need "me time" as I've had 30+ years of me time.  I don't need a break from being a Mommy.  I don't give a shit about my "career" and the fact that I have a college degree.  I don't care if we don't get to live in a big fancy house, driving big fancy cars, pushing Lovie down the street in big fancy strollers.  None of that matters to me... none of it except for the fact that I'm a mommy.

I've waited so long to become a mom that I just adore soaking up every stinkin' minute of it.  Ask me anything at all about being a Mommy, about how my baby doll is doing and leave me out of the equation. Skip my birthday and my anniversary.  I'm totally OK with it.  Because I'm a mom.

But most of all... what's most important and most amazing about all of this... is that I'm Her Momma... Lovie's momma. Somehow, something happened in the Universe, in my life that allowed me to get pregnant and experience the miracle of life... something happened that gave me the absolute greatest gift in the world.

Wow... just WOW.