That damn smoothie.

The other night while Lovie was eating some frozen peas (she loves them frozen or cooked, the weirdo) as her grilled cheese was cooking on the stove top, I blended up some yogurt with frozen berries for after dinner. She loves these smoothies and it’s nice and healthy so why not? After I got done blending it all together, I popped it in the freezer since it was about 80 degrees in the kitchen (thanks to the 100 degree temps we’re having- INSANITY! SHOOTMENOW!).

Lovie. went. ballistic.

Instant hysterics.

Crying and screaming with tears shooting out of her eyes.

I looked at her for a moment in complete disbelief. She was literally popping frozen peas into her mouth, one at a time, just one second prior and then BAM! HYSTERICS. I was confused for a brief moment and wondered if maybe a bee or something got in the house and stung her or something. It was just so incredibly random.

And then I realized she was hysterical because I put the fucking smoothie in the freezer. The nerve of me!!! Call Protective Services… stat!!

I studied her for a moment and realized how utterly pathetic she looked: Tears streaming out of her eyes which had puddles of water in the bottom of them; food glopped in her mouth, being held in by her itty bity teeth.

“Honey,” I said calmly (sidenote: I always hated when someone called me Honey when I was a kid and I think of this every time I say it to her, and want to stop, yet keep saying it. Ugh!), “We’re going to have the smoothie after dinner. The grilled cheese isn’t even ready yet.”

More hysterics and now my blood started to boil. Are you kidding me with this reaction?!? I wanted to shout, but didn’t. Not out loud, at least.

Finally I opened the freezer door and took the smoothie and placed it on the counter.

She watched, still sobbing and trying to catch her breath, and, once realizing she still wasn’t getting the smoothie right then and there, proceeded to lose it again.

I did my best to ignore it and finished cooking the grilled cheese and cut it up, giving her some pieces while taking a chunk for myself. She took a piece of the grilled cheese and inspected it through her tears and ate a piece, calming down significantly.

Before I could give her another piece (she eats more if I cut up everything bite size), she was stuffing pea after pea after pea into her mouth until it was jammed full of peas and all peas were off her tray. Because I have no desire for my girl to think that she has to eat every morsel of food presented to her (like I did/do) unless she wants to, I gave her some smoothie before giving the rest of the grilled cheese.

When we finished with the smoothie, I asked if she wanted some water. “Wawa!” she exclaimed and happily drank from her sippy cup. And as she drank, I strategically placed a couple more pieces of grilled cheese which she ate a couple of before starting to chuck the rest onto the floor.

“No,” I said sternly. “Do not throw your food.”  (Seriously. She takes the food, looks me dead in the eye, moves her arm till it extends out of the high chair, looks at me, opens her hand, and drops the food. And I've about had it!)

Tears. Everywhere. Again. Ugh.

I removed her tray and cleaned it, and unbuckled her and scooped her and her tears into my arms where she rested her wet face on my shoulder, still sobbing. She patted my back as I rubbed hers and told her that I loved her. She looked at me with tears still falling from her eyes, finger in her mouth and I quickly said, “Lemme see what’s in there,” and poked my finger in her mouth. She happily bit down gently as I felt some bottom teeth that are coming in.

“Owwww!” I exclaimed as she giggled.

I wiped her face and hands- and we lived happily ever after (for the night at least).