November 14, 2012

Bigger { - FICTION - }

I’m 12 years old.

I don’t know why that sticks out so much but it does.

I think it’s because I’m missing my granddaddy today a lot more than normal and he’d always tell me, each and every time I saw him, how easy it was to remember how old I was because I was born in the year 2000. And since it’s now 2012… well, you get the idea.

I think I miss him so much because I know he’d be able to help make me feel better. He always did. He always made me feel important. He always talked to me and asked questions and really listened to my answers. He was so strict, but he also had this amazingly big laugh that rumbled through the room. But it wasn’t a scary laugh. It was warm, inviting.

His hugs were amazing, too. And even though I’m a guy, I can admit that I loved hugging him. And I miss hugging him.

He just seemed to always know how I was feeling. And, he always seemed to care. Like, genuinely.

I miss him so much.

I bet he’d look across the table at my dad during a Sunday visit and give him a disapproving look to show him that what he’s doing isn’t right. Mom and dad aren’t even divorced yet and he let that lady move into the house. And with her stupid dog. She’s nice and all, but she’s not my mom. She seems to like me just fine, but it’s just not fair that she’s there and mom isn’t. It’s been like a month since I’ve last seen mom, too, and I just don’t understand why Marianne sees me every day but my own mom doesn’t.

I don’t even know when this all happened or why. I just know that I’m tired of it all. And angry.

I moved here when I was 3 years old so I don’t remember Florida. I only remember my life here. And I remember my granddaddy. He’s been gone now for half my life, but I still remember him. And I still miss him so very much.

I’m sure he would tell my dad that he’s an idiot for letting Marianne move in with us with Oscar. I bet he would’ve stopped it from happening.

He probably would’ve even stopped my mom from leaving us.

I don’t know…

If the first 12 years of my life have been like this, what’s going to happen the next 12?

Will there even be a next 12?

I miss my mom and my granddaddy. My mom’s at least still alive.

Granddaddy was right when he said “Bigger problems come with bigger people” when I would always tell him how I wanted to be bigger. Now that I'm finally bigger, I have bigger problems.

Life kind of sucks.



  1. I love your second to last paragraph about bigger problems coming with bigger people.

    Nice post! I really enjoy it when you do fiction.

    1. thanks!!
      i absolutely love writing fiction but it sucks when there's no audience. it's weird. i'm okay with blogging personal crap and not getting feedback, but for some reason i just want more and more feedback on my fiction. so again... thanks. :D

  2. I like that line, too. I think his voice rings true, too -- he sounds so confused and mixed up and completely 12.

    I'm glad you've posted this at The Speakeasy -- we are a tiny group, but mighty!

  3. Great job at capturing the 12 yo voice! I'm happy you are enjoying the Speakeasy too. I do wish more people would give it a go. But think of how often we'll get to be in the top row 3! Ha!

  4. This made me really feel for your character. It also made me think of my grandfather, who was by coincidence born in 1900. Always knew how old he was. He died in 1996. He made it to . . . well, you can do the math. :) I enjoyed this.

  5. interesting use of the photoprompt. This short hints at a bigger, deeper story somewhere down the line...

  6. Actaully I don´t like fiction much - this one is great, though.
    The moment I learned "I" am a boy I was a bit... ummm... well, I was a girl, right?
    But... I never had a Granddad.
    I so wished I had had one, especially since my Dad and I didn´t understand each other.
    Your story touched my heart, thank you.
    Maybe I should give fiction a chance more often!


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