July 17, 2012

Ota


We sat on the bed waiting for breakfast to arrive with piles of cards, cash and checks, and a small frame of my grandfather between us. The wedding day two days prior, was everything I had hoped it would be. I felt like a rock star.

I glanced down at the photo of my smiling grandfather and asked if he had a good time, too.

It had been less than two years since Ota passed away and the thought of not being able to dance with him on my wedding day sickened me. So I made sure to find one of my favorite photos of him and placed it into a tiny frame and carried it with me to the banquet hall. I had my niece hold it during the ceremony, and during the reception, Ota sat at the head table between me and my maid of honor/cousin.

Oma and Ota, Christmas 2003 (?)
 
My new husband, my cousins, my siblings and I all had at least one of Ota’s favorite drinks- a “Highball with no ice!”- in honor of him.  
 
I asked the DJ to play the Chicken Dance and smiled at Oma’s reaction when she heard it. I knew we were both thinking of him and his love of life and polka music. 
 


My mom called me at about 11:30 on the first Tuesday night in November. I knew the moment I recognized her voice on the other end that something was drastically wrong.

“Ota fell,” her voice shook.
 
I shot up into a sitting position in bed. She was calling me as the ambulance was taking him to the hospital. She called me again a couple hours later to confirm he was gone.
 
I was alone in my condo, in my bed. I couldn’t speak. I nearly vomited. I don’t remember hanging up the phone, I only remember feeling this incredibly deep pain and sadness. The tears flowed so freely. I screamed out loud several times, trying to stifle some of them into a pillow. I hadn’t felt that alone in a very long time.

The next several days were hard… and long and very sad. My cousins and I created four large poster boards full of pictures of Ota’s life to display at his memorial. He lived a long, full 89 years. He lived through and survived the war (WWII). His story was one that was repeated time and time again any opportunity he had to tell it. He even spent several years typing his words onto paper in both English and German, his native tongue, so that he could turn those words into a book about his life, his history… and ours.

We each have a copy of that book, each individually handmade and assembled by Ota, and while it’s not an easy read because of the language translation, it’s one of the most amazing gifts I’ve ever received.





18 comments:

  1. He sounds like he was a wonderful person and one that influenced you a lot. I am sorry for your loss... Perhaps his gift of storytelling lives on through you?

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  2. How sweet of you to include him in your wedding; your grandmother must have been so proud of you and your thoughtfulness.

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    1. thanks. i couldn't not include him, you know? he meant SO much to me.

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  3. A very touching story. And how lucky you are to have that book chronicling his life.

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  4. What a touching story. The love you had for Ota is so pure and palpable. Loved reading this!

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  5. What a sweet man! And what an amazing treasure you have in that book. Absolutely priceless.

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  6. what a sweet story. I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing man and grandpa. I love that he wrote a book in English & German for his family.

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  7. That was a beautiful portrait of your grandfather and his importance to the family. Intergenerational love is such a glorious thing.

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  8. What a treasure you have in that book! I carried a photo of my grandpa on my wedding day too. Sweet gesture.

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  9. I'm sorry he couldnt be in person at your wedding. I hope you could still feel his presence on that very special day. I'm happy he left you all a book chronicling his life. Wonderful.

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  10. I'm sorry for your loss. Your grandfather sounds like a wonderful man. It was so thoughtful to include him in your wedding like that. I wish I had a book like that from my grandparents. I feel like they must have had so many stories and now they're just lost.

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  11. i understand the pain of not having him there...that's why my wedding was actually at my grandparents, reception in the barn that my grandpa built, in the pasture that he cleared. he was there with us that day, i know it.

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  12. Oh, Otta sounds wonderful! What a great tribute :)

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  13. The book, is it something that will be published?

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    1. great question and one i've vascillated and still don't know the answer to. :(

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  14. What an extraordinary man. I'm so glad he gave you that part of his life to carry you through his loss. I would probably not have gotten married if my grandfather couldn't have walked me down the aisle. I didn't realize that until after the fact, but the only reason I was willing to walk down an aisle in a white dress (an act I hate, a color I hate, a symbolism I loathe) was because Poppa held my hand the whole time. Shit. Now I'm crying.

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  15. I get this too. It's so sad and you did such a good job honoring him. I am still so sad I was such a late bloomer that all my grandparents missed me straightening out and getting myself together for a good life.

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