July 31, 2012

The start of the New Year {-Fiction-}

For Christmas, Beth got me the complete first season of The Soprano’s on Blu-ray. I got her Nothing. And despite that, she was so happy as we sat together on a Lazy-boy in her uncle’s family room on Christmas Eve with her family.

It freaked me the fuck out.

So I avoided her the next several days at work, and left New Year’s Eve to go up north to my cousin’s house for the start of the New Year.
 
What a fucking mistake that was. I was miserable that week. There was no weed and no Beth.  And my cousins were fucktards who wanted to play hockey all day and party all night. The fuck do I wanna play hockey for when it’s ice fucking cold out? Just get me some weed or Beth already! Yeah the girls and the parties were great but there’s only so much Pabst Blue Ribbon I could drink and bitches I can mess around with.
 
It was a long week for me, and I pretty much regretted going the day I left because without some bud, I would think too much. And when I started thinking too much, I’d always end up thinking about Beth.  
 
She just had this magical way of pulling me in. I mean, yeah I wanted to bang her and all, but it was more than that. It’s always been more than that with her. She was my girl, but she kind of scared me, too. She was just so into me. And it didn’t matter if we were stoned or not, she just wanted to be with me. But the fact was, she deserved more than a Nobody.
 
Instead of telling her this, we’d spend day in and day out together. We’d drive for hours around town and outside of town just talking and laughing and singing. Some days we’d get baked, other days we’d just hang out. She’d lay in my arms on the couch in her parent’s house while watching TV or just looking out the window. Fooling around with her was always so fucking enjoyable, of course, but it really was more than that.  Couple that with the Christmas thing and … I remembered why I had to leave.
 


When I finally saw Beth at work that first day back, I thought for sure we were done. I thought for sure she’d want nothing more to do with me. After all, I didn’t get her a Christmas present and I vanished for a week.  Still, I stupidly asked her for a ride home and she obliged. And then I stupidly told her I loved her when I should’ve just gotten out of the car.
 
The next thing I knew, we were back inside her uncle’s house like a married couple eating dinner with them yet again! What the fuck was I doing?


More from these *fictional* characters here, here, and here.

30 comments:

  1. I like this story and I really like how you didnt assign a gender to the narrator. In truth I imagined a girl and it made the story so interesting.

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    1. thanks. i hope it's still interesting if it's supposed to be from a male's pov. ;)

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  2. I'm with Carrie! I imagined a girl as the narrator! Interesting....

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    1. i find that you guys feeling a girl narrator interesting. :D thanks for commenting.

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    2. I'm with Carrie and YDW. I was thinking female narrator.
      Great story either way, though.

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  3. I like all the conflict and tension in this piece. I'm curious to read more!

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    1. cool; thanks Michelle! feel free to read more.

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  4. I like that you stepped so far away from how you usually write! How did it feel?

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    1. thanks, Dawn. i actually love writing fiction, just haven't done too much of it the past several years. it feels great though. :)

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    2. I've only done it a few times too, and I really enjoy being able to immerse myself into another character. It can be scary, exciting, liberating... or all of them!
      I hope to see more fiction from you! If you enjoy it, do it, right?
      :-)

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  5. I immediately heard the narrator as a guy; he reminds me a lot of the short story writer Thom Jones and some of his brilliantly manic narrators.

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    1. excellent- glad you heard a guy! and thanks for comparing me to a writer!

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  6. I began thinking it was a female narrator, but figured it out pretty quickly!

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    1. i've struggled with wanting to put some sort of preface to the piece but i figured if "fiction" in the title doesn't tip people off that maybe this isn't autobiographical, maybe it's not from a girl's perspective, then i'm doing something wrong for sure. which is good to know!

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  7. I knew the narrator was a guy as soon as he admitted to getting her Nothing. I loved how he was totally aware that he was being a dick, but he did it anyway. I always wonder if people know they're being that way...

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    1. i mean they HAVE to right? at some point? ;)

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  8. Oh, yay, I'm so glad you used this for Yeah Write! A great, realistic voice...we've certainly all encountered someone like him. I hope you're combining all these snippets into a large short story, or even a novel!

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    1. thanks! :) i've been wanting to bring it to YW but was too chicken till you spoke up last time.
      i love these characters and i love writing them based on prompts. it's really been exciting and fun for me so i do hope to continue!

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  9. I thought it was a female until the last sentence.

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    1. aha, finally a guy's opinion! :)
      dang it. you thought it was a female, huh? is it the voice? the tone? the language? what could i do to make it more male-like?

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  10. I did think the narrator was female even with the final sentence (women can be a married couple). I'm wondering what the central conflict is here. Beth seems nice enough, why is she hanging out with this dude? What issues does she have and what about the protagonist is sympathetic? Even when you have "only" 500 words, it's important to flesh out your characters so your readers have somebody or something to latch onto. Without that, it's a listing of events.

    The protagonist's final question "what the fuck am I doing" would be a wonderful opening line. This couple is spending a lot of time together and your readers need to know why.

    I love your using the prompts for fiction. The thing to remember is: 500 words is not what makes it a short story. It's not the length. What makes it a short story is telling a full tale within the 500 words. It can be done. You're off to a great start. More whys and less whats and you're in business!

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    1. oh Erica, thanks a million for taking the time to comment. i think part of my problem is that i'm writing this with other pieces already in the back of my head- no matter how hard i tried doing so without thinking back on them. i really wanted this piece to stand alone, but yes, there are still so many unanswered questions. plus, trying to write from a male's perspective-- i wonder if maybe i'm focusing too much on making that believable. lots to think about here.

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  11. I thought the narrator was a woman too but that could just be because I know you are female and I was just assuming this was memoir for the whole first half. Then I was lost because I was thinking "I thought she was married to a man. Maybe she's writing from her husband's POV?". Once I got my head on straight, I went back and re-read it as a man, as fiction, and I was able to enjoy it without all of the questions. Maybe a banner at the top that says: Fiction Alert! Fiction Alert! ;)

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    1. hahaha love this. :D
      and i do think- if i continue with this character- that i'll give a bigger warning next time.

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  12. I'm interested in reading more of this. It left me curious about what's up with Beth. To me this dude comes off as your high school BFF's stoner loser boyfriend who treats her like shit but for some reasons unknown to you she thinks he hung the moon. You worry that she'll throw away college in order to stay with him because she "just knows he's gonna change and you don't know him like I do." So I'd love to have insight as to what's going through her head.

    I haven't read the other parts of this story, though. I'll have to book mark this and check it out!

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  13. I loved that! First I thought it was a girl talking about her BFF but she was so hard and angry. Then I thought - She's a DIKE (I say dike because it sounds harder and more masculine). Then I though...no...she's a guy!! And now, I have no idea. Great great job!

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  14. I also thought the narrator was female! It's funny you never did anything that indicated gender. I wonder why so many of us went there?

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  15. First things first...I loved this piece. So raw! Initially, I thought female but quickly got the POV from a guys standpoint. I know this feeling exactly with my college boyfriend but we turned things around, separately, and he is very successful now. There's no telling what makes people attracted to others or why they stay in relationships. I will definitely want to read more of this story.

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