January 10, 2011
4) WTF is up with CREAMY Tomato soup? Did I have a bad can of it or something or does it always taste so… flowery. I’m not sure how else to describe it but I actually had to toss a bowl earlier and if you know anything about me, I love food and throwing food out isn’t something that comes easily for me. Must remember to pay closer attention to the labels next time and steer clear away from the Creamy tomato soup.
5) Not sure what’s going on in my head lately but I’ve been feeling icky things toward my husband. I’m not sure if it’s jealousy or resentment, or maybe a bit of both, but I don’t like it and I want the feelings to cease. See number 2 up there? Yeah Lovie calls him Dada but she calls me nothing. I’m the one she goes to all.the.time but she doesn’t ever call me Mama or Bitch or anything. That’s not what I’m jealous over… not really. I just think I may need a break of sorts or something. I mean, I love my Lovie with everything I am- she’s my Everything after all. But I’m just.. I don’t know. I get so pissed when the husband doesn’t come home before her bedtime lately. It bothers me greatly. And not because he’s missing out on time with her because that’s all on him. I’m not going to even try to fix that. He’s a big boy. It just pisses me off though that I get up at 430 every morning, I get Lovie up at 530 and dressed and fed, I get us both out the door and to school and work, I pick her up after work and get us both home by 5, I get her fed, I play with her. And 3/4 out of 5 nights during the week, I get her ready and into bed, too. WTF?! Tonight’s his late night at work so he won’t be home. Tomorrow he has to help a friend with a computer, he already told me- so he won’t be home. Wednesday I’m sure he’ll be late because we need shit from Costco. And then on the weekends, who gets up with Lovie? Not him... not unless I force him to. And even then, he falls asleep while she plays and she’s always looking for me. But he’s Dada and I’m… nothing.