January 23, 2012

before 40

been quite ill the past several days and before that Lovie was sick. it's been a fun week and a half.

the past couple of days i've been doing a lot of laying around and it got me to thinking when i wasn't completely passed out.

i'm gonna be 40 this year- in less than 9 months. FORTY.

i never imagined seeing 21 let alone 40 so this is a BFD to me. and now that i have Lovie, things are different...  i have to care more about myself so that she has a Mama for as long as possible. and right now, i'm doing the opposite. everything has been all about her the past two years. all about her. and i'm not saying i'm regretful of that because i am absolutely not. it's just taken quite the toll on my health.

besides being obese (which i was prior to pregnancy so this is not because of her), i've been getting sick a lot. it's not right for someone to be as sick as me. sometimes it's just little colds, but more than not it ends up turning into something more debilitating. and it sucks. it takes so much out of me- and out of my time with and for Lovie.

so there's one thing i'm absolutely sure that's going to happen before i turn 40: i will haul my ass into a doctor and do whatever i have to find out what the hell is wrong with me. i will get a physical and keep hounding them until they can tell me WTF is up with my immune system (or the lack of it).

i'm pretty terrified to do this because what if there's something seriously wrong? i'm scared there is; i mean, why else am i sick like every other couple of weeks?!? but i have to do this. i absolutely have to. for me, for Lovie, for my husband.

some other goals to accomplish by my Fortieth:

* finish Lovie's 1 year book (up to 9 months now) and 2 year book
* go down two pant sizes
* get new wedding/anniversary bands for our 5 year wedding anniversary in June (we'll have been together 12 years)
* start being more active again- walking when i can, taking the stairs
* do something ALONE at least once a month- even if it's running out to Target
* get out to a dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse with the hubs alone (it's our favorite and we haven't been since days before Lovie's birth)
* take a weekend trip to NYC to visit my BFF/cousin - alone - to celebrate our 40th birthdays (she's 6 months older than me)
* start knitting again- and reading more
* start writing more again
* and, again, the number one thing to do before turning 40 is get myself healthier


  1. I think that getting healthier is doing something for Lovie too and is a great goal. Recently I have been seeing so much about Gluten problem...any chance that could be happening?

  2. Doing something alone..that is a necessity for me. Having my alone time each day enables me to give more to my children. good luck.

  3. I agree with Jamie. Once you allocate some me time all else will start falling in place. I know you can, you will. It is just time that we lack...
    Happy 40 a bit early. Hope you paint NYC bright!

  4. Good for you, mama. Good for you!

  5. I hope you reach all of your goals and that the last months of your 30's are very fulfilling!

  6. I am so so glad to read this. You need alone time and you need time with your husband. You can't stop being everything else just because you're a mama. Glad to hear it. XOXO.

  7. It's about damn time! Good for you, woman.


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