June 17, 2010

Warning: Cursing inside

I’m in a weird mood.

Work was crazy busy this morning and it has nothing to do with me, yet I have to be the one to come up with the answers. Make sense? No, not to me either! Fuckers.

Went to the bathroom moments ago and saw blood. WTF? I thought I stopped bleeding last night and now there’s blood on my panties again. Seriously. It’s bad enough I gotta deal with this shit every month, can’t it just be consistent?! Bleed or don’t bleed. Don’t fucking tease me by letting me go 15 hours with no bleeding. Bitch.

Yesterday’s mail included two handwritten pieces addressed to both me and my husband. No mention of Lovie. One was an invite to a wedding shower, the other was the invite to the wedding. It doesn’t say “no kids” but it’s pretty implied, I think. I know when I got married, I was all for having kids (to me, personally, weddings are a big family thing and family means kids- and yes, we paid for our own wedding in its entirety tyvm) attend and addressed the invite to Smith Family... and since these invites in yesterday's mail were only addressed to the hubs and I, I have to assume that means no Lovie.


I know lots and lots and lots of people would jump at the chance at having a night out without the kid. But I’m not one of those people. I’ve waited such a long ass time to be a parent and I just want to parent, by god. I don’t want a break. I get one every fucking day I come to work. I miss my baby doll so much. Even when I’m with her I miss her. And now I have to miss her not once but twice coming up? WTF?!

Pre-Lovie, I would’ve thought that I just wouldn’t go to the event, but I really like the people who are getting married – well, at least the bride to be since I don’t know the groom to be. I really want to be there to show my support and share in this glorious time with them. But I also want to be with my Lovie and my Lovie comes first. Always.

Does that mean I don’t go? OMG, I don’t know!! I have to go. I want to go. But … MAN THIS GROWN UP SHIT IS HARD SOMETIMES!


  1. Ah, dilemma. I wouldn't know what to do. Actually, I'm kinda in the same situation, but it's an anniversary party instead of a wedding. So, not the same at all. I called & chatted with the hose (my cousin) who told me to bring the baby. Family will want to see him!

    Anyway, sucks for you.

    Also, being a grownup is BULLSHIT and SUCKS BALLS.

  2. That's a tough decision. I hate having to choose too. Like you, I don't have the luxery to stay at home with my daughter all day. I work, she goes to daycare... so I cherish every other moment I have with her. And when social events ask me to leave the kid with a babysitter, I always think twice about it. And feel guilty either way. Being a mom is hard, for sure!!! Good luck!

  3. It must be in the water...I've been having a whole offish week too. Stupid life with its stupid bills and its stupid people. Stupid. Probably explains my week of Debbie Downer posts...

  4. First of all, thank you for your comment on my blog. I can only imagine that your baby will absolutely feel the samer way about you as I do about my mom. When moms are great, fantastic, and totally loving, their kiddos can't help but gush :-)

    As to the invites you received, it's pretty obvious they meant to exclude your baby. Poo Poo on them. I've never understood the whole "adults only" weddings. Ludicrous notion if you ask me. I had an 8PM wedding and a nearly 10PM start time on my reception, and I NEVER even thought of telling my family and friends NOT to bring their children. Those are their children, part of their family and mine by extention. There were several couples that opted to leave the kids at home because of the late hour, but it was their choice to do and not at my urging.

    I never go anywhere without my kids. In fact, I'm skipping my 20yr high school reunion next week because it's adults only. Who needs to see people you never even liked and haven't given a second thought about in 20 yrs, and leave my kids (who are pretty cool themselves) at home to do so. HA! No way in heck that's gonna happen. I'm with you 100%.

    I'm following your blog now. I like a woman who has her priorities straight and isn't about to give into the BS of life!


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