I threw it on the ground and burst into tears. If she wants me to go to sleep without her laying with me then I would do all I could to make her mad so that I could start crying and tell her how sad she makes me feel and then she will hug me and try to shush away the crying. I just love when she hugs me. When she wraps me into her fluffy arms and boobs and tummy. I love when she’s nice and she’s nice most of the time but then she tells me to get into the bed and I just don’t want to. Not without her. And she won’t lay by me because the chart says I must stay in bed by myself. With my stuffed bear. So I thew the bear on the ground and burst into tears. I want her to lay with me. I want her to tell me stories. I want her to lay with me until I fall asleep. And if she won’t then I won’t let her go in peace.
“I want you to leave!” I shout, looking down at my bear and the sticker sheet lying beside it. I could stick those on my books and my dresser and my pajamas and mama’s pajamas and my hand and mama would look nice with one on her forehead and in her—
“Honey, it’s time for bed,” she coos.
“NO I DON’T WANNA. I WANT YOU TO LEAVE.”
“But what are you going to do if I leave?”
“NOTHING. I WILL DO NOTHING ON MY FLOOR!”
“Honey, it’s time for bed.”
“NO I DON’T WANNA GO TO BED. I WANNA DO NOTHING ON MY FLOOR!”
She shakes her head at me and turns off the closet light and turns off the light to the room and opens the door of my room and sits down on the floor in the doorway so that I can’t go in or out. Her back is to me. She won’t look at me. She won’t talk to me. And now it’s my turn to cry.
“You make me sad,” I tell her.
“Honey,” she says, turning toward me and touching me. “It’s time for bed sweetie, and you tell me to leave you alone instead… Do you want me to hold you?”
“Yeah,” I sniffle. “And I need a tissue.”
“Ok, love. All you have to do is tell me you want me to hold you.”
She stands up. It’s still super dark.
“I want you to hold me.”
“Of course, love,” she giggles and scoops me into her arms.
She kisses me and kisses me and squeezes me into her and kisses me some more. She holds the back of my head with one hand as my butt sits in her other. She lays me down and tells me to get under the covers and then she lays next to me and tells me a story. And now me and my bear can finally go to sleep.