June 6, 2012

{repost from June 11, 2010} Weepy

I don't know what it is this morning but it's taking everything in me not to cry right now... not like sad tears just... ack... I dunno. I'm just weepy right now (PMS?!??).

This morning when I dropped off Lovie, like every morning, she's all smiley and happy. She absolutely loves her morning teacher. This girl (23) is SO sweet and good with these kids. Maybe it's just a show but I think I have a good read on most people. And she adores Lovie and Lovie adores her.... so much so that her face lights up and when Charice, the teacher, says "Are you ready for school?" and her arms go up and to the side - her way of saying Pick Me Up/Hold me (cuz she doesn't quite know to lift them straight up like most kids do when they want up- if that makes sense).


I'm happy Lovie likes them and they like her, but it just like hurts sometimes because *I* want to play with her and watch her learn and grow.

The other thing is that she's sitting now.

Like sitting!!

You put her in place and she sits there and gets so excited. She'll stay for SEVERAL MINUTES and when she's tired and flops over she goes onto her belly... and ... STARTS LIFTING HER BUTT INTO THE AIR WITH HER LEGS AND FEET.

I swear to god she's going to start scooching and crawling soon!!!

She's only 5.5 months old!!!

And, she STTN again last night, too...
and doesn't seem to care for peaches! (weirdo)
and I found her this morning in the complete opposite direction from where she was laid down last night...

My baby girl is getting sooooo big, soooo fast!

Yesterday during our drive home after work and school, I saw this (what I would call) Punk Girl, who looked to be about 15 tops, walking with this Punk Boy, about the same age.  They were walking down the street coming toward us (we were stopped at a red light). I watched as they walked and noticed how close they walked to one another, how both had big smiles on their faces, how no hands were touching or anything. I imagined it to be the start of a budding relationship... and then I thought, "My god, one day that will be Lovie!" which led me to wonder how parents let their kids... live... when they get older. How do they find the trust- not in their own child but in the rest of this sometimes fucked up world?!? How do they believe their child will be able to do good things and fight the bad? How do they let them out of their sight?!?!


I just try to push those feelings and thoughts out of my head and try to just focus on the now.  Because right now, my baby doll is growing so fast and I just want to savor every.single.fucking.precious.moment I have right now with her.

Today, tomorrow, yesterday, next month.

Because before I know it, she's going to be walking down the street next to a boy.

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