make it a happy one

I've never been a Valentine's Day celebrator. My dad would, on occasion, surprise me with some little thing- a stuffed bear, a flower, some chocolates. But he hasn't done that in a while. And that's OK. I admit it was super sweet when he did it but then as I grew older and older, it was weird; I was getting something from my dad but nobody else. No love life for a long time makes you feel like a big fat fucking capital L Loser. And getting a little treat from Daddy just doesn't help with those feelings.

Now though...  as a mom? I get it. I get what he was doing and why. He loves me. I'm his little girl. Even though I'm old and have silver hair, I'm still his little girl.

There is one Valentine's Day I do actually specifically remember from when I was like 19ish... so 20 years ago! I went out with a friend and her group of friends to go see Wayne's World in the theatre. We were all excited to see it cuz the skit on SNL was funny as shit. Plus, some of the scenes were filmed in the area this group of people lived (an area I once lived before moving for the millionth time). And we figured a group of us (I'd say there were about 10 of us) could easily get into Wayne's World on Valentine's Day of all days as it's not like it's a "date movie".

We went, we laughed, we snorted (from laughter!), then we went out for coffee (it's what we did before Starbucks) and fries and shit. And we dubbed ourselves The Lonely Hearts Club because we were all big fat fucking capital L Losers without "lovers" to go out with on Valentine's Day. Silly thing is I never really hung out with many of them again- certainly not as a huge group. And believe me, it's not cuz I found someone else to spend my next Valentine's Days with; life just happens that way.

Today, nearly 20 years later (TWENTY FUCKING YEARS?!?! Wayne's World IS TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD THIS YEAR?!?!), I still don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.

I mean I do but I don't.

I have a husband now but, in the 12 years (when does this shit happen?!? how can it be 12 years already? how can we be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this year?!? SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE!) we've been together, we've never celebrated. It's no big deal either.

first Valentine's Day: 2010

Except now we've got this little girl to contend with, to love on, to nurture, to help grow, to snuggle, to smother with hugs and kisses on a daily basis. And we do... oh how we love this little girl with everything we are.

first vday CARD, 2011

Everyday is like Valentine's Day in our home. I'm not kidding. It's pretty gross, but this little girl is magic, I tell you. Magic.

from actual vday, 2011

Not everything is all hearts and rainbows every day, but the love, the hugs, the kisses... that's prevalent every single day. There's just never a shortage!

vday card 2012

So while I don't really give a shit about today being "Valentine's Day", it still is Valentine's Day. And I dressed my girl in a dress with a shitton of hearts that form flowers because of the day.  And I sent her to school with a shitton of little Valentine cards to give to her classmates- along with a couple bag of chips for her little party. And I picked up a little stuffed monkey, tights, a tutu, and a pair of slippers (all pink because that's her thing despite it making me gag) which we'll give her tonight when the three of us are home together and not rushing out the door.

taken in school this morning

Cuz it's Valentine's Day. May as well make it a happy one, eh?