an interview

this photo and interview took place last night- about 7 hours before she officially turned the big 2.5

(i LOVE being five, by the way.)

TILTW: 6/23-6/29

My itty bitty baby girl is TWO AND A HALF today!

Happy Half Birthday to my Lovebug!

Now we can get on with the week's recap:

* This isn't something I just discovered this week, it's something that- once again- was pounded into my head this week: Being present- really present- with your family, with your kids is what is most important.

* I really and truly am head over heels in love with Prozac. I just started my second month on it and I'm absolutely astounded at the difference. Like my OBGYN said in our follow-up visit on Tuesday, it's life-changing. You hear that? My life has changed in one month's time. And it's for the ooh so good. Praise be!!

* I've taken a risk using a brush on Lovie's hair- and it's paid off. I figured I'd give the Mixed Chicks brush a try since it's only $12 and sold by a company whose conditioner and tangle spray have saved my sanity with Lovie's hair. I'm amazed at how well it works. I don't brush often- only before I wash it a couple times a week max. And it makes washing her hair so much easier.

F.A.T. Friday

I'll be joining Ginger at (Not) Just Another Mom of Twins every Friday for her F.A.T. Friday.

6/22-Next Week's Suggested Topic: What’s your support system like? How do family and/or friends support or not support you? Do you reach out to strangers via message boards, blogs, etc.?

I’m SUPER lucky in that my husband eats low carb, too. I guess it’s a benefit of us both being obese- ha! J

Seriously though, I’m not sure where I’d be without that man. He got me into the LC lifestyle in 2004 when we both lost a ton of weight and he stuck by me all through the years and the up and down weight, even loving me when I was at my largest. I’m so very lucky to have him by my side because I’m not sure how or if I could succeed without his support. I mean, with a 2.5 year old, it’s kind of hard to eliminate all carbs so having your life partner by your side mimicking your habits is super amazing.

Also, I’ve found a lot of support through a low carb forum/message board I discovered back in 2004. I journal all of my food and weight and feelings toward it all over there so I feel like I’m being held accountable at all times. And the people there are all there for pretty much the same reason so the support is just truly wonderful.

I feel so lucky when I think about it. I mean, I feel lucky in so many aspects of my life, but having the support to change my life? Wow am I lucky. I should play the lottery!

WEIGHT: -17 Total/-3 from last week

EXERCISE: none
CHEATS: none
RANDOM THOUGHTS: Really wish I would’ve recommitted myself to this way of life sooner. I very rarely feel deprived and am never hungry after I eat, which makes eating LC so easy. It doesn’t hurt that this time around I’m OK with eating eggs and salads unlike last time.

then and now

Four months and 247 days ago... I had a case of the Blah Blah Blogging and was growing tired of the whole blogging thing.

It was that post (the comments, really) that helped me realize what I wanted to do with this blog… Write!

It’s a simple little word, no? “Write.” Yet, it can be so complex and, oftentimes, even hard to do.

Fortunately through the likes of our very own Mama Kat and other writing prompts/memes/challenges/communities, I’ve been able to write more instead of just blog. There’s a difference, I think. Sure I still blog, but I’m also paying closer attention to the crafting of it all (usually). And I love to write. It’s therapeutic and it’s a need, really.

Yeah, a lot of it has to do with the one and only and incredibly awesome Lovie, but I’ve also dabbled in some fiction and have opened up a lot about myself personally.

And it kicks ass.

I love my little corner of the blogosphere. Yeah, there are times when I almost have to work for some comments, but it all evens out, I think. For me, anyway. I have a voice, after all. And while it may not be on the best seller’s list, it’s being used and it’s being heard...

Unless that’s just another voice in my head making me think this way.

What were you blogging about a year ago?

1.) Share what you were blogging about last year at this time…what has changed?

Story time

nothing exciting going on over here

We didn't do much of anything this weekend.

I mean, it's Summertime and according to Facebook, we should be doing a lot during the summer on the weekends. We should be going to the pool, water park, or beach; we should be going to amusement parks and zoos; we should be having huge family BBQs. There shouldn't ever be a dull moment during our weekends in the summer.

Yet this weekend was, in fact, quite dull. And frankly, we like it like that.

Saturday we drove an hour and half out to visit with my ailing grandmother, stopping off for lunch at a Chile's first.

We spent 3 hours with Oma in her un-air conditioned, un-childproofed house. I parked my fat ass next to Oma on the couch and listened to her stories and opinions and memories (good and bad) for three hours while Taye kept Lovie occupied with toys and modeling clay inside, trips outside to kick a nerf ball around, play with chalk. When we got home, we ate some take-out, watched TV for a bit, and went to bed.

Yesterday we did nothing but play restaurant, hide n seek, and tea party before taking a nap and heading out to the grocery store. When we got home, we had dinner, Lovie took a bath, we watched TV, went to bed.

There was no water play, no fun rides, no new toys. It was just the three of us giggling, farting around, and enjoying each other's company.

Truth be told it was pretty damn glorious.

TILTW: 6.16-6.22

* It's been about a month now since we've gotten rid of the binky and while Lovie doesn't ever bring it up or ask about it anymore, and while she's able to go to sleep better again, she doesn't sleep as long as she did when the binky was in the crib. Now she's up and ready to go after 9 hours of sleep at the absolute max. And her naps? Ugh, she fights naps at home every single time when before she'd ask for her binky and tell us she wanted to nap. That all said, this little guy is set to arrive today and I'm hoping it helps with the early wakeups and naps. Time will tell.

* Father's Day was lovely, really lovely. I made the hubs a cup of coffee to enjoy in bed with Lovie watching cartoons. Then I made my first ever omelet (and it turned out!) and bacon which I served to him in bed. After Lovie took a nap, we picked up my dad and went to a Brazilian steakhouse and all had a great time- on me (not a cheap meal but it was Father's Day, eh). After saying bye to my dad, we visited with the in-laws for a bit before coming home and climbing in bed.

* Despite being very crampy this week, I feel mentally stable for the first time in a very very long time. THANKS TO SWEET BABY JESUS FOR PROZAC.

* A little someone has become quite addicted to this show:

I mean, like really addicted. She talks and sings along to the intro and dances along to the end, then begs for "another one?! another one?! another Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mama?! PLEASE!" A month ago I would've said I'll probably do a Bubble Guppies theme for her birthday (yeah it's still another six months away- so what?!), but I'm beginning to lean more toward good old Mickey. She's quite smitten. Still loves her Team Umizoomi but wow does go nuts for the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (and can I just admit that a) I love the damn songs and dancing and b) the house is absolutely badass!!).

F.A.T. Friday

I'll be joining Ginger at (Not) Just Another Mom of Twins every Friday for her F.A.T. Friday. I kind of forgot about it the past couple weeks and last week's topic was really intriguing so I'm adding it before today's...

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6/15/12

This Week's Suggested Topic Was: Write yourself a motivational reminder/letter about all the “good” things about your healthy lifestyle & why you are on this journey. This will be good to have in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 months or 10 years from now when you need a “pick me up!”

(ending week 4)

Dear Christina,

You are amazing, strong, beautiful, kind, giving.

You are your daughter’s Mama and whole wide world right now (at almost 2.5) and she’s yours for always.

You are your husband’s partner for life- through thick and thin.

Because of all of this, you are living a low carb life because carby foods are mean to you… because you feel amazing, alive, full of life when low carbing… because you once lost 75 pounds so you know it does work… because you need to live a long long life for that girl of yours, for your husband, for YOU.

You can do it.

You WILL do it… for life.

Love,

Your healthy body

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6/22/12

Next Week's Suggested Topic: Summertime=Vacation Time=Overindulging= FUN Possible Derailment! What summer vacation(s) do you have planned and how to you plan to be proactive in staying (mostly) on the healthy living train?

(ending week 5)

A week after starting to live a clean low carb (LC) lifestyle, we went on vacation. I knew we were going on vacation when I decided to dive back into low carbing but because this has to be a lifestyle for me- for life- I figured I needed to start right then and there and not allow vacation to be an excuse. Was I as diligent when on vacation about my food as I am when not vacationing? Not completely. Did I go hog wild and eat everything in sight like my old self would’ve? Hell no.

See, I’m fortunate because my husband is doing this with me. Just like he did the first time around. So we packed a bag full of LC snacks to have on hand at all times to save us from indulging in the bad. And it worked. And when we sat down to eat, we stuck with eating as LC as possible which is not hard to do at any restaurant other than Chinese.

That’s the beauty of the LC lifestyle to me- there are so many damn good foods you can eat that staying on track usually isn’t too difficult. Plus, it really doesn’t take a lot of planning ahead when going to a restaurant as long as you stick with no bread and steamed veggies or salad. I get to eat meats (un-breaded), bacon, eggs, cheese, most veggies, nuts, salads which is pretty much available anywhere. For example, our first stop was at a Wendy’s so Lovie could have a burger and fries (she loves!) and I had a very low carb meal of a double cheeseburger (no bun) and salad.

I do have to plan ahead with snacks though- making sure I always have something available because if I start getting hungry without something LC nearby me… that's when the trouble begins. Readily available high carb foods like chips, french fries, pizza, and ice cream is impossible to stop eating once I start.

That's why eating LC is a lifestyle for me- for life. Because food is my drug; I'm a High-Carb-Foodaholic.

WEIGHT: Down 14 pounds at the start of this week (week 5).

EXERCISE: none :(

Normal

“Are you taking your drugs?”

“Why?!” I snap, tossing the TV remote on the bed amidst the dirty laundry we’re sorting. “What did I do now?”

“Are you taking them?” A black shirt dives into the dark pile.

“Why? Have you noticed a change in me? Because I have. I don’t feel like I’m acting differently, like I’m drugged, but I know I’m behaving differently.”

We’re standing next to each other in our bedroom, before our messy bed. I pick up a pillow and speak to it: “I’m not as… annoyed as I’ve been lately.”

He chuckles.

“I don’t mean annoyed so much as…”

“No,” he cuts me off. “I like the use of that word: Annoyed. It’s fitting.”

“But I don’t really mean you guys annoy me; I just was so … short fused. “

“Annoyed,” he chirps through a smile.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

My eyes rest upon the coins, blocks, papers, pens, crap that litter the dresser as my mind races to the Monster I was just a month ago. I compare that time to how I feel now, and I could burst into tears… tears of absolute relief.

I’m not annoyed anymore.

I feel Normal.

“I just asked,” Taye continues. “Because you didn’t flip out with the remote thing like you usually do.”

Still thinking about the difference from just one month ago, I reply, “I know! It’s so crazy to me. I would get… crazy!!”

Taye’s eyes widen and though the words never leave his mouth, I know he's thinking, Yes you would get crazy.

I drop my eyes back toward the piles on the bed, onto the TV remote I tossed moments ago. Had it been a month ago, I would’ve probably flung the damn thing to the floor. At the very least, I would’ve cussed at the remote and TV for not shutting off (seriously, you have to press the off button three times before it shuts off- DUMB!) and stormed out of the room, wanting to just run away from everything. I’m confident this would’ve happened a month ago, yet today I didn’t do that. Today, I shut the TV off and went about my business.

LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

Yeah, I’m a little crampy, I’m incredibly tired, and the calendar indicates the blood should be coming any day now… but, I’m not angry at the world. I’m not envisioning (maybe even hoping for) horrendous things happening.

Instead, I actually like my husband and my daughter. I love them. They make me laugh and smile. They make me feel so blessed.

Instead, life is fucking beautiful again. Every day. Not just half of the month, but the whole month; it’s beautiful.

Yeah, life is still moving forward: The days have been hot (so hot!); traffic has been horrendous on my drives home thanks to summer and the city life that everyone thinks is so grand when they don’t live and breathe it every day; Lovie's still 2 and sometimes acts as such; Taye still lets the garbage overflow; work is boring as fuck; people do and say stupid shit day in a day out.

But I’m different. I’m Normal. I don’t feel like screaming or crying. I don’t feel like finding a deep, dark hole to crawl into.

I like my life again. Every day, I like it.

So yeah I’m taking my drugs.

WW: Daydream Believer

Dream big

Ever since I was little, whenever I'd get near water, I'd get immersed in the views. There's just something so incredibly peaceful, calming about water... the motions of it, the shimmers of sparkle from the sky reflecting on the water, the way the seagulls dance and sing in the sky above, the way the water folds into the sky.

I would find myself being still for periods of time whenever around water. The world around me would become silent so that it was just me and the water, me and the sky.

I would dream about a future and wonder what was in store.

I would reflect on the past and hope for brighter days to come.

There's just something about the water that always summoned me, always made things better, always left me feeling rejuvenated.

I pray that Lovie discovers such a place if she needs it.

I pray for so much beauty and peace in her life.

Taye

I'm breaking away from my weekly TILTW to talk about my husband, Taye (nope, that's not his real name). I've been keeping this blog for over 2 years now and I don't really talk much about him... the thing is, without him, there would be no Lovie. And stuff. ;)

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I don’t know about you but sometimes my husband annoys the piss out of me. You know, like when the garbage is overflowing and I have to beg him to gather it. Ugh.

We met online 12 years ago and the first time we met in person, we went to lunch. Before it was time to pay for the bill, Taye went to the bathroom. He was gone so long I started to wonder if he hadn’t made an escape. After what seemed like half an hour, he finally returned saying he lost the screw to his glasses. I should’ve known then that there was a screw loose in him but he’s a charming fellow so I stuck around.

Seven years later we got married and spent our honeymoon in the very romantic, Atlantic City (a friend gifted us the use of her timeshare; we chose AC because we like to gamble and hadn’t ever been to AC {and probably won’t go back… yikes!}). 

Our first full day there we went to hit up some of the casinos, stopping off first for a brownie sundae (for the 5 year old in me) and a smoothie for Taye. 

here's Taye after his smoothie. he loves when i take pics of him like this.

A couple hours later, Taye started saying something about not feeling right and, after a couple hands of Pai Gow, he took off for the bathroom. By now I was used to his ridiculously long bathroom escapades so it didn’t faze me much when he didn’t return right away. But when he did, he told me again that he was feeling weird and that he wanted to leave the table. So we made our way to one of the bar areas near a bathroom. We I sat and listened to music for a bit while Taye went back and forth to the bathroom. After the second or third time, he told me that he thought he was having an allergic reaction to something.

There he goes annoying the piss out of me on the first full day of our honeymoon.

“What do you want to do?” I asked him, never having been in the situation, trying to be a good supportive newlywed wife.

We started making our way out of the casino. On the escalators going down, with mirror walls on either side of us, I couldn’t help but notice a weird looking dude standing behind me instead of Taye. I slowly turned around to look for Taye when I realized the weird looking guy WAS Taye! His face was unrecognizable; it had blown up so much that he looked like a stranger to me… a disturbing stranger: His lips were like an empty, dyed hot dog bun; his eyes were bulging out of its sockets; and his cheeks were so puffed out, I thought his face was going to explode.

My heart started racing… Tears started forming in my eyes… I had no fucking idea what I was supposed to do.

We got to the main floor and sprinted for the exit.

“I deed somb Bededrill.” 

“Benedryl?” I asked, noticing a gift shop to our left.  “Maybe the shop has some!” I ran into the store and came out with an individual dose of Benedryl and water, and Taye shot it down.

“Baby,” I manage to squeak out. “You don’t look good at all, should we go to the hospital?”

He nodded in agreement.

By the grace of God, the casino happened to be about three blocks from a hospital, but of course the cab I hysterically flagged down couldn’t drop us off at the ER doors because of construction. Of course.

When we finally got inside the ER, the nurse asked us to fill out paperwork. Taye could barely function at this point, his face everything was so swollen. Soon, a nurse swung through the doors whisking Taye away, leaving me sitting next to a guy with a bleeding leg who was not very happy Taye got called in before him.

When I finally got to see him after about half an hour, Taye was sitting shirtless in his unzipped, unbuttoned pants on a gurney. He was still very swollen and couldn’t talk much, but was starting to look more like him rather than the disturbing dude on the escalator.

After 6 hours, we were able to leave with Taye pretty much back to normal and an Epi Pen souvenir.

Taye had known for some time that he had been allergic to walnuts, but all he had eaten that day was a smoothie so this all was pretty shocking to him. 

let's examine this photo more closely, shall we? this was almost the last photo of him!

The ER told him on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being death, he was a 7. Apparently his tongue was so swollen it impaired his speach, made his face look like it was going to explode, and could have caused Taye to choke to death! I’m not sure what would’ve happened if the ER wasn’t 3 blocks from the casino.

He may annoy the piss out of me all the at times, but I really am grateful he’s alive to do so.

aren't we adorable? and young looking?

Happy 5^th Wedding Anniversary (June 1)

Happy 12^th First Date-iversary (June 17)

Happy Father's Day ... to my love, Taye
xoxo

Daddy

My husband is by far the most patient human being I’ve ever encountered. In the 12 years I’ve known him, I’ve never once heard him raise his voice; he’s always, under every circumstance, very calm and collected. It’s like he just knows things will work out.  

I thank the universe for Taye and his patience often, but not often enough. And the truth is, I’d be one sad puppy without him. He loves me for me. All of me. And he’s sooo patient with me and my antics… my moods, my ideas, my insanity, my dorkiness. But more than that, his patience has turned him into an absolute amazing Daddy. 

I remember lying in the hospital completely blissed over the fact that all my dreams had finally come true while I watched Taye, with a hand-made baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders, lean over and look in at our Lovie. His face was so peaceful, so blissful, so complete. He smiled from ear to ear. His hands held onto the side of the clear bassinet Lovie laid in all swaddled like a burrito, and his face leaned over so that he could study hers. He spent a lot of time that first day, especially, studying her. I thought he might be afraid to pick her up so I told him several times to do so. But now I know he was just absorbing it all in, living in that moment and soaking it all up. 

Sure there are times when Lovie might have a tantrum that grates on your last nerve, but I never have any doubt that Taye will be right there to try to reason it all out with a calm, patient approach. Every single time. And every single time I’m always left sitting there in awe at his patience, and am reminded that this, too, shall pass.

My patient husband… an amazingly calm and patient Daddy.

1.) Father’s Day is coming! Share something you’ve learned from your husband about parenting. What makes him good at what he does?

Letting Go and Growing

I'm not a fan of seeing awake babies with pacifiers in their mouths... especially when said babies can walk and talk. It really bugs me when I see this. Always has, always will. It's a pet peeve of mine, I guess.



rare photo of binked-up Lovie before bed, 4/2012

That said, on our way out of the hospital with a 3 day old baby doll in my arms, we finally gave up our ideals of a pacifier-free baby and begged the nurses for a pacifier; Lovie wouldn't stop crying unless she was on my breast or had a pacifier. (This all plays into why I gave up breastfeeding- turns out I was starving Lovie with my lack of milk which is why she was always crying {always} when she wasn't nursing.)

By the time she was 6 months old, Lovie pretty much only had a pacifier during naps/bedtime and in the car. I even had her daycare providers follow this and it wasn't really ever an issue.

The closer she got to turning 2, the more I wanted to get rid of the pacifier all together. She was always very attached to it at night and I was afraid it would carry on for years and years and start negatively affecting her teeth. Still, I let her have it at night and naps at home only (at about 20 months old, her daycare teachers were able to stop her from having it during her naps so I followed that with removing it from car trips, too), and I started telling her the Binky Fairy would come and take her binky soon to give to a baby who needed it since she was such a big girl. We talked about this a lot. A lot. And then she turned 2 and I decided to wait a week because nothing says "Happy Birthday" like taking away something that comforts you.

The thing is, when it finally came down to doing it, the thought of taking her comfort away from her really tore me up. So we decided to give it another six months. After all, it's wasn't like she was 12 and still with a binky; another 6 months should be OK, especially since she only was using it for sleeping.

Well, last month, one of her favorite teachers came back to school with her new baby girl and Lovie was smitten. And one morning she woke up and said she wanted to give her binky to the new baby- she put the binky in a box and everything. (She was down to just the one binky and I told her that it was the last one- she had chewed through two others prior and yet this one was still in tact for months and months.)

We took the binky in a box to school, but since the teacher and the baby weren't there at drop-off, I conned Lovie into allowing me to bring it later in the day when I picked her up (because I was terrified of Lovie changing her mind and then causing so much havoc that her teachers give her the binky). But when I picked her up, the teacher and baby had just left.

I didn't know what to do. The plan was we give the binky away and meet Daddy at Target to pick out a new toy. I called up the hubs to tell him I still had the b-i-n-k-y and we decided to still move forward with the plan like we gave the binky away. We met at Target and Lovie, after an hour of looking at and playing with toys, picked out a pink (of course) cash register toy.

We got home and played with it for a bit before getting ready for bed.

Not going to sugar coat it: that first night, especially, was AWFUL. She cried and screamed and flopped around like a fish out of water for an hour before settling down.

The second night took about half an hour, but with much less screaming and crying.

By the third night, Lovie was fine without the binky. She would ask for it- just before bed- but we'd ignore her or just tell her it was "all gone now that you're such a big girl." We used lots and lots of praise when telling her how big a girl she was, but we did so without EVER mentioning the binky. Even that first night of horror, we never once said the word.

It's been about a month now and the binky is definitely a thing of the past. She might say she wants her binky on rare occasion but, again, we just ignore it or tell her it's all gone and life just goes on. Bedtimes aren't as magical as they were when she had her binky (she's back to stalling stalling stalling), but they aren't anything like that first night without her binky.

Honestly, I think this has all been harder on me than anyone else. Lovie's my one and only. I'm so proud of the little girl she's turning into, but it's also so hard to let go of the baby stuff. Like the binky.

I think that's why I haven't really pushed her on potty training. I certainly don't want her in diapers in a year, but I also just am in no hurry to move her on in her childhood. This is a big reason why I'm grateful she's still cool with being in a crib.

I mean, I'm super proud of her- she's truly amazing and incredibly smart and funny and just such a character. And she really is such a big girl in so many ways- she eats with a fork, she drinks without a lid (meals at home), she remembers everything, she talks up a storm. I know she'll always always always be my baby... but still, it's hard sometimes... this letting go and growing thing.

sweet dreams

The make-believe this child is coming up with lately is too much fun. Too much fun. We laugh so much while playing with her. I know I've said it before but I really do mean it this time: this is the absolute best age.

Before she goes to bed for the night, we spend 15 minutes in her room doing whatever she wants to do. Lately that's a lot of singing and dancing. She'll pick up an old toy and turn it into a microphone and announce, "Ladies and Gentlemen, now introducing Mama and Daddy!" and then the hubs and I cheer and she hands me the toy and tells me to try it. I take it and speak into it, "Ladies and Gentlemen, now introducing... Lovie!!" and she bows and says "Thank you, Thank you!"

this may or may not be
a pic of my child's crack

It's hysterical. Really, it is.

Tonight, she gave the "microphone" to her daddy and he announced her and said that he would sing while she danced. And that's exactly what happened. Only while she danced, her pullup started falling down and she was bouncing around the room with her little crack showing.

I was in tears from laughing and couldn't get to the camera fast enough.

Then the alarm went off on my phone (all part of our fabulous bedtime routine) indicating bedtime and surprisingly, she settled right down despite all the goofing around.

As Daddy laid blankets on her, I stood in the doorway and said, "I love you sweet baby."

She replied, "I love you sweet bay... mama!"

Heh, this little chica is just so damn awesome and I'm just so damn blessed it's crazy.

Sweet dreams.

TILTW: 6.2-6.8

* Ruth's Chris Steak House is still one of my absolute favorite dining experiences ever. Damn good steak and service makes this girl all kinds of happy. The hubs and I went last Friday to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary while Grandma slept over in case Lovie woke. 

* A beach vacation is way more fun with a kid in tow. No, really. Before Lovie, we never cared much for the beach. We're not outdoorsy people. We're fat. But Lovie's been asking to go to the beach for months so when we took our annual trip just 90 minutes away from home for our anniversary early this week, we had to make several stops to the beach. And man did we all have fun. I can't wait to do it again.

* Something I don't want to ever do again is co-sleep. I really do not understand how people can do this with their kids on a regular basis once those kids become mobile. Bedtimes were horrendous during our getaway- taking 2 hours each night for Lovie to finally collapse and fall asleep. Two hours of wrestling with her and telling her it was bedtime and laying down and pretending to sleep so that she would sleep... The child was so overtired but instead of falling asleep, it was like she was on speed or something. Man, I'm tired just thinking about it!

* Speaking of sleep, I've discovered that I really am so grateful that Lovie is still in a crib and quite content with remaining in one. She's very tall for her age and could quite easily climb out at this point but I get the feeling she feels safe in her crib. And I'm totally cool with that.

* On our way home from our trip we stopped at the Aquarium like we did last year. It cost us $20 to park and $60 for the hubs and I to get into the Aquarium. Lovie was free since she's under 3. While Lovie enjoyed seeing the fish (especially the seahorses), she was most happiest when she was able to flip a plastic pancake and egg in a skillet that sat atop an outdoor grill that was set up in one of the hallways alongside other camping equipment. She beamed with joy as she stood there, tongue curled toward her nose, "cooking." And when we tried to move on to the other fish exhibits, she wasn't having any part of it and constantly talked about wanting to make more pancakes. Just more proof to me that you just don't have to spend a lot of money on a toddler to have a good time.

What things stuck out for you this past week?

womp, womp-womp

{repost from June 11, 2010} Weepy

I don't know what it is this morning but it's taking everything in me not to cry right now... not like sad tears just... ack... I dunno. I'm just weepy right now (PMS?!??).

This morning when I dropped off Lovie, like every morning, she's all smiley and happy. She absolutely loves her morning teacher. This girl (23) is SO sweet and good with these kids. Maybe it's just a show but I think I have a good read on most people. And she adores Lovie and Lovie adores her.... so much so that her face lights up and when Charice, the teacher, says "Are you ready for school?" and her arms go up and to the side - her way of saying Pick Me Up/Hold me (cuz she doesn't quite know to lift them straight up like most kids do when they want up- if that makes sense).

ACK.

I'm happy Lovie likes them and they like her, but it just like hurts sometimes because *I* want to play with her and watch her learn and grow.

The other thing is that she's sitting now.

Like sitting!!

You put her in place and she sits there and gets so excited. She'll stay for SEVERAL MINUTES and when she's tired and flops over she goes onto her belly... and ... STARTS LIFTING HER BUTT INTO THE AIR WITH HER LEGS AND FEET.

I swear to god she's going to start scooching and crawling soon!!!

She's only 5.5 months old!!!

And, she STTN again last night, too...
and doesn't seem to care for peaches! (weirdo)
and I found her this morning in the complete opposite direction from where she was laid down last night...

My baby girl is getting sooooo big, soooo fast!


Yesterday during our drive home after work and school, I saw this (what I would call) Punk Girl, who looked to be about 15 tops, walking with this Punk Boy, about the same age.  They were walking down the street coming toward us (we were stopped at a red light). I watched as they walked and noticed how close they walked to one another, how both had big smiles on their faces, how no hands were touching or anything. I imagined it to be the start of a budding relationship... and then I thought, "My god, one day that will be Lovie!" which led me to wonder how parents let their kids... live... when they get older. How do they find the trust- not in their own child but in the rest of this sometimes fucked up world?!? How do they believe their child will be able to do good things and fight the bad? How do they let them out of their sight?!?!

Ha!

I just try to push those feelings and thoughts out of my head and try to just focus on the now.  Because right now, my baby doll is growing so fast and I just want to savor every.single.fucking.precious.moment I have right now with her.

Today, tomorrow, yesterday, next month.

Because before I know it, she's going to be walking down the street next to a boy.

{repost from June 8, 2010} untitled

Don't really have much of anything right now.

Should try and do some more work today, I guess... and stop by and visit some blogs since I couldn't yesterday.

There's always Lovie though...

I could never grow tired of talking or thinking about my Lovie.

...8 more hours sweet baby girl, 8 more hours

{repost from June 4, 2010} Tummy Sleeping: Pros and Cons

For the past several weeks, Lovie's been flipping over like a fish outta water as soon as we lay her down for the night. She ends up spending the rest of the night on her tummy, and since she gets herself into that position, we leave her. Clearly she's turned into a tummy sleeper like her momma.

Pros:

• sleeps longer and harder
• hair is growing into bald spot on back of head
• she's exceptionally cute in the morning when she pops her head up to say good morning

Cons:

• we've had several soaked diapers, pj's, sheets
• if she spits up, she lays in it!
• boogers!

The Cons list really bugs me but I can't really do anything about it. If she wakes at night for a bottle (which she has been the past week again), I try to change her diaper which will help with the leaking. The boogers... god I have issues with boogers. I'll change her shitty diapers any day of the week but I really hate the boogers. And the other day there was one stuck to the sheet. Gag.  I made the old man get it off because I was too lazy to change the sheets (it's a pain in the ass to change the sheets because of the stupid bumpers- but of course I change them every other week unless there's an accident).

What a stupid post for a Friday... or any day for that matter. Whatever. I'm a bit salty today for some reason. This is all I have right now.

TILTW: 5/24-6/1

* Sometimes, it really is best to just get outside and do something for a bit. Sunday's record hot day tried keeping me indoors but we went ahead and piled in the car to go visit my 88 year old grandmother for her birthday. And... we survived and we all had a really lovely day. Such a difference from Saturday where I barricaded myself in my room all day. :( When we got home, Lovie played with her new water table (photo) for a while. It was hard getting her to come in and eat dinner she was loving it so much.

* I went to my gynecologist on Tuesday and had a bit of a breakdown when describing to him the Monster I feel like I am for half of the month. We talked a lot about everything and he's pretty sure I have PMDD and prescribed Prozac. I pray the shit works. Time will tell.

* Lovie's been without a binky now for a week. My big girl. She still brings it up at bedtime but we just ignore it and she moves on and goes to bed. I think she sleeps more soundly since she doesn't have the pacifier to wake up to find. That said, I think she doesn't sleep as long but we'll find that out this weekend. We'll also see if we can get the little chica to take a nap as she all out refused all last weekend and when she's overtired, she's a bear.

* Today's my wedding anniversary. 5 years. We've been together for 12 so it seems way longer than that. Then again, it doesn't. Honestly, I can't believe he's put up with me for this long. And with that, today marks the start of a 6-day weekend for us. Holla!