Thanksgiving Eve

I stopped off at Wal-mart yesterday and spent about $50 on a variety of items to package up into gallon-size plastic bags to hand out to the homeless folk I see nearly every day. After I picked Lovie up from school I told her that I had a project to do in which I needed her help. She was excited and after telling her what it was exactly that I needed her help with, she was even more excited.

After we ate dinner, I had Lovie put everything into piles--packages of tissues in one pile, granola bars in another, socks in another, etc. Then she grabbed one of everything and put it in the gallon-size bag. We made 10 bags and this morning, on my way to work, I already handed one out.

It's the least I can do, really. I so badly want to do more- and I want to do more with Lovie by my side to witness it. But at least this is something. (And it's about damn time, too!)


Do you know that after I thanked Lovie for helping me put the bags together she suggested that we maybe include our phone number in the bags so the people could call for more help if they needed?

My heart.

My heart.

I'm so immensely blessed. I know I say that a lot. I know most of what I post here is rainbows and butterflies, but, I mean, I'm just so blessed.

xo

images from last weekend

Sorting beads. I've been looking into ways to strengthen Lovie's grip so that writing may come a bit more easier to her and, in the meantime, discovered she LOVES beads. So we bought a ton the other week and last weekend, we sorted all of them by animals, "jewels", plain beads, teddy bears. This took some time to do and it was a lovely way to do something that didn't involve the damn television. Can't wait for her to start making necklaces, etc.

The infamous IKEA Kura bed. We've had it for a couple years now but just now finally turned it so that it's a loft bed and Lovie's in love with it! She says the area under her bed is her secret hiding spot. We (she and I) even have a secret password, just for the two of us, when it's time to go into the secret hide-out. :)

Probably my most favorite activity to date. I wrote and drew with white crayon on white paper and then Lovie painted with water colors over the paper to discover words and shapes, etc. Oh my was this a blast. So much fun. She couldn't get enough of it and I can't wait to do more. And again, another activity that didn't involve the TV. 

warning: grab your toothbrush and floss for this sickening sweet sap.

June 25, 2014. Did you know we're six months out from Christmas Day. DID YOU KNOW?! You're welcome. : )

If we're six months from Christmas, we're almost six months from this gorgeous girl turning FIVE.

How on earth is it possible that time really goes by this fast when I spent the better part of my life wishing for the days to end?!?

I can barely keep up.

Neither can these two apparently:

Dad and Lovie fell asleep after Father's Day brunch, and before some mini golf. It was Lovie's suggestion--the mini golf. She said, "On Father's Day you're supposta take your father to mini golf." I thought it was a brilliant idea, so we went and, of course, I got two holes in one while my two playmates sulked.

Seriously though, I know it gets old--reading all the mom sap and all the Look-at-How-Bloody-Wonderful-My-Life-is posts on blogs and Facebook, etc--but really... I'M SO IMMENSELY BLESSED. I can't come here and pretend that I'm not.

Of course I have bad days.

Of course there are times when I want to remove myself from the picture and live life in solitude.

But then I look at my sweet girl or she tells me something funny and it all makes sense again. And life is beautiful and a blessing. Such a freaking blessing!


The other night when it was time for her bath, Lovie was getting in the tub and she looked up at me whilst holding onto my shirt and stepping into the tub (because she's so damn tall now that she insists she gets in and out of the tub by herself) and said, "Mama, did you know that you're my best friend?"

I mean... seriously. This was really said to me. By that little girl right up there just moments before I snapped that picture.

How on earth could I not feel anything but blessed?
And lucky?
And fortunate?
And enamored with life and all things Lovie?

Yeah I'm her mama and all that jazz, but honestly, this kid?

She's just pure amazing.

She's just such a gift.

Not a day goes by when I don't thank the universe for her.

So yeah... six months till Christmas and nearly six months till she turns 5.

Hold me?

about last weekend

I came down with a horrible stomach thing early Saturday that put me in bed the entire day. Oh, but first we went to an egg hunt that I will never attend again. Why? Well it was free and open to everyone, all ages. And when they blew the whistle everyone was allowed to try to get some eggs. Everyone. Including moms, dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc etc etc. Lovie got two eggs. She cried till some mom made her son with a basket full of eggs give some to her. It was really crazy. And my puking and fever didn't help, I'm sure.

 

Nevertheless, the Easter Bunny did come Sunday.

 

 

notice how dark it is in the background?? that's what 6AM Sunday looks like!

We keep things super simple for Easter... even so, she's happy.

 

 

After Lovie indulged in some chocolate bunnies and eggs (and milk and a peanut butter jelly sandwich), and after I collapsed back in bed for a bit (puking stopped, fever was gone, but oh my word my stomach wasn't well), we actually did something none of us have done before: we went to Medieval Times.

They were having a buy one get one free special plus a free Spring egg hunt. It was a really neat experience. Not cheap, but a really neat experience that I would love to do again when I don't have to worry about my gut exploding (and only with another special).



Lovie with a REAL Princess. :)

 

They have tons of stuff set up to buy (of course) or look at or drink (of course) in the concession area before you get into the arena where you eat and watch hot men with long hair straddling horses putting on a medieval show of sorts. One of the things they have is this green screen that they can take your picture in front of and then transpose it onto another image. When we saw a sample of a girl dressed as a princes standing next to a unicorn... well, use your imagination. It makes for a super damn cute and cool keepsake, at least.

 

here she is before getting in front of the green screen

It's been several days now since I puked my guts out... I'm better, but my gut is still so damn explosive feeling. Fortunately, Lovie hasn't gotten sick so yahoo for that.

the park at 4

Lovie and I stopped off at a park yesterday after I picked her up from school and conned her into leaving by way of Slurpee's from 7-11 prior to the park stop. The park we stopped at was one closer to home to avoid horrendous traffic. I just have zero patience for the traffic: the waiting, the foot on the brake pedal oh but wait, here we go let's clutch it and gas it ... nope, brake.

Spring has finally sprung around here and it was quite lovely so why not?

As soon as we got out of the car, Lovie ran off to find some friends to play with and quickly darted toward an adorable puppy. She started petting it, after asking its owners if she could, and started following the two older girls who were near the dog as well.

"I'm four!" she proclaimed to them in such a way as if to say "I'm badass and you WANT to play with me, yo."

They both kind of looked at her like, "Give me a freaking break, twerp," but then their eyes found mine. I smiled trying not to be too intimidating but truth is, the whole time I pretended to be on my phone, I watched and thought to myself, "Break her heart, I'll break your face."

Yeah, I hover a bit, I know. But guess what? She's 4 and she's my baby. Actually, I generally don't get too close unless she comes to me or calls for me--or unless I feel like something fishy may be going on. I know she's got to figure it all out on our own-- that some kids suck (let's be honest) and can be mean.

The girls played together for about two minutes before the older one went off to join some other kids. Fortunately "A", the 6-year-old, kept letting Lovie hang with her even though I could tell she wasn't too thrilled about it. Lovie and A hung around for nearly an hour (it seemed) by the swings before they made their way over to the slides. That's when they spotted... BUBBLES.

A mom was blowing bubbles to her 3 year-old boy, "N". Lovie gravitated toward them and started blowing bubbles and chasing them with N. She spent the next hour playing with him and it was super cute watching them interact because they were both having fun and not caring how old the other one was, etc. The mom and I talked the whole time, too-- something that never happens. I usually hover from a distance and avoid much contact with anyone.

I need Lovie to learn to fend for herself, yes, but she's 4 not 14 (oh Christ that scares me even more). She does so good on her own--asks kids if they want to play or if she can play with them, tells them her name and age, communicates about whatever--but she's my baby... and not for much longer!

We were there for over two hours and it was pretty fascinating watching her the whole time. She's growing so fast. And she's become this really really awesome person. I'm just glad others are seeing it too.

b is for busy

so so busy at work lately.
leaves little time for fun stuff like blogging.
it's all good. hopefully you are too.

here's a couple fun pictures of life with Lovie lately:

bikes rides on new (to us) PINK Barbie bike
 

if you don't know who this is, you shouldn't be reading this blog
 

went for some Schnitzel the other weekend. heh.

Grow'd Up Randoms

Lately Lovie's been talking about growing up-- mainly, she talks about how she doesn't want to grow up. How she'll be sad when she's grow'd up. I tell her she's got a while before that happens and that she should enjoy being a kid all that she can now. I don't tell her being a grown up sucks ass sometimes and she very well may be sad when she becomes one.

She's also been talking about babies a lot lately. I guess she had a dream one night where she was mama to six babies and now that's what she wants: six babies.

"When I'm gonna have a baby?" she asked one day.

"Oh not for a long time," I answered.

"But I wanna baby now."

"Well you can play with your dolls and let them be your babies."

"No, I wanna baby inside my tummy. I want six babies."

"Wow, six, huh? What are you gonna name them all?"

She paused for a moment to give it some thought before replying, "Christina!"

We both cracked up.

"What else?" I asked.

"Christina [OurLastName], Christina, Christina [OurLastName]..."

Again we both laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night at bedtime, she was resting her head on my arm like she does every night and she was patting my boob (they're big). "Mommy, how big is that?" she asked.

Playing dumb, I asked, "What?"

"That!" she said, patting my boob again.

"What's it called?" I asked, curious to see what she knows.

"I dunno."

I chuckled and she quickly said, "It's called 'I dunno'."

"Oh baby," I said, "you mean my breast?"

"Yes, your breast. How big is it?'

"It's pretty big," I answered.

"Well when I'm grow'd up will my breasts be big too?"

"Yes, they'll be bigger than they are now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning whilst trying to get her awake, I started rubbing her back as she leaned into me.

"Mommy when I'm a grow'd up I'm gonna pat my baby's back."

I smiled. I was in a hurry, needing to get her dressed and myself dressed to get her to school and myself to work, but after that comment, I had to smile and really BE in the moment. I continued to rub her back and pat it and told her she very well could do that when she was older.

the builder- then and now

It's been a while since we've been to the library. Unlike many others, I like to go when it's boiling out and it's been quite the opposite now for months... so it's been months since we've been. But Lovie's been asking to go so we finally returned the books I kept renewing on Tuesday and picked out a few new ones.

While checking out the new books, we heard a crashing sound coming from the back of the children's section. Both Lovie and I turned to look toward the sound and that's when our eyes laid upon this little girl, roughly Lovie's age, building with these gigantic LEGO-like blocks. Of course, we had to go check them out.



feb 2014, 4 years old

It's funny -- this whole parenting thing. I get sad sometimes (oftentimes) when I see my girl change and grow. Not sad because I don't want her to grow, but sad because it will be the last time she sleeps in a crib, wears a diaper, drinks from a bottle, etc, etc, etc. But the truth is that watching her change and grow is such an incredible gift that I wouldn't trade for anything. Not even those baby days.

feb 2012, 2 years old

Plus. She'll always be my baby.

No point to this, really. I'm just so blessed is all, and it's been a bit since I've posted.

Santa and the movie star

Santa visited Lovie's school yesterday for pictures.

I guess they didn't have much time with Santa-- just kind of sat each kid on his lap, snapped a photo, and on to the next. Lovie said she wasn't able to tell him what she wanted but the teacher assured her Santa would know. (We're taking her this weekend for another visit so she can be sure to have more time and tell the big guy what she wants [PINK BARBIE SHIT OF COURSE].)

This morning, on our way to school and work, she tells me, "I was kinda afraid to sit with Santa."

I asked why (she's never been too afraid before) and she said, "Because the man said I was like a movie star."

She mumbled this and looked mad. I tried not to giggle and asked what man she was talking about.

"The man."

"Do you mean Santa or the man that took the pictures?"

"No, Santa didn't say anything. He just said Good bye." Poor thing was really bothered by how quickly the "event" lasted apparently.

I figured she meant the photographer told her she looked like a Movie Star so I asked if she knew what a movie star was and again she started to sulk, so I told her he wasn't being or saying something mean or to hurt her, he just meant that she was pretty and could be in the movies.

She still sat there sulking, staring out the window of the back seat.

It kind of makes sense, though. To her, Movies = Monsters Inc and Despicable Me and Tangled and Brave. I'm guessing while she loves her pink princesses, she has no desire to be a cartoon??

These kids today. Man, they make my entire being smile.

 

 

(That's Lovie sandwiched between my great-niece (7) in the back and my great-nephew (4) leaning forward-- all on top of my nephew (21) who is Uncle to the kids except for Lovie who is his cousin.)

never enough time: welcome to December

Ah December.

We're three days in already. Pretty soon we'll be wishing everyone a Happy New Year. How does it happen like this? How does time go so fast?

I totally remember being a little kid and wishing the days away. Especially in December. I mean, man did that month take forever before you got to Christmas and got to open some presents! Now it's a whole different scenario. Now there's just never enough time in the day. Never. I hated when adults use to moan about this--that time goes by so fast. I hated it. But I get it now. I really get it.

Dammit.

So Thanksgiving this year was good. You?

We had ten adults and one little--Lovie. My in-laws, my mom, my sister all came over. I took Wednesday off from work to try to clean and prep a bit. Yeah, there's just never enough time in the day.

The food was good as was the company. It was the first Thanksgiving without Oma so there was that. But it was, overall, a really nice day.

And now the real fun begins: Christmas and Lovie's birthday and New Year's.

We got the tree up and most decorations on Friday, and Christopher Pop-in-kins came to visit on Saturday.

I love it. We all do.

Gifts have all been pretty much ordered, just need to wrap. And bake. And bake some more. And package baked goods. Ack, there's just never enough time in the day.

I'm a little stressed about Christmas Eve. It's always been ... ALWAYS ... about my mom's side of the family. Particularly Oma (and Ota). ALWAYS. Then the past two years, we've visited much earlier in the day on Christmas Eve or the weekend before, and have had my dad over Christmas Eve night. And last year my nephew and niece came, too.

Christmas Day then is spent alone at home in the morning and then we make our way to Taye's parents house.

But this year... this year, again, there's a big change. There's no Oma. I can't have my mom spend Christmas Eve alone. I could invite her over but then my dad won't come. So then he spends Christmas Eve alone?

I just don't know what to do to appease these people sometimes.

And.

There's just never enough time in the day to figure it all out.

So it's Tuesday and Hey, it's my husband's birthday, too!

I honestly don't know what's going on with me, but I'm really trying to stay focused and keep writing but it's not easy. It's just not. I'm going to blame it on the fact things always get so damn crazy and busy end of year. 

Lovie and Zoe, taken the night before Zoe died. We had no idea. Besides me, Lovie is the only person Zoe ever allowed to get close to her. She was kind of a mean cat like that. Heh.

My cat Zoe died last Saturday. I could write about that, I suppose but-- and this will get me plenty of side eyes and what not-- I'm just not that upset. Sure I shed some tears, but they were mainly a result of Lovie's reaction to it all. Sure it was a ridiculous shock, but... she was a cat. She lived a good life with us. And now she's gone and now we're stuck with the one cat that makes a bunch of noise crying all the time.

I made this in Picmonkey! for FREE. I'll be printing it out and attaching it to lollipop sticks and popping it into her cake as a cake topper.

Lovie's birthday is coming up in... 41 days. A couple months ago, I found a company that does parties dressed as Disney Princesses. For less than what it would cost to have a jump house party, I could get Rapunzel or Ariel or whomever to come to my house for 90 minutes and be all princess-y and girly with Lovie and her friends. As much as I detest princesses, I had a feeling Lovie would be over the moon with a "real" princess sitting in her living room. Alas, she's been insisting on another jump house party and since it's her birthday, she gets to choose. She's also decided within the past couple weeks that she'd like a Paw Patrol cake and goodie bags. At least it's not Dora.

Speaking of birthdays, today is my husband's birthday. Lovie colored him a card last night and made a heart and signed her name inside it and gave it to him this morning. Then she had him read her a book we just took out from the library last night. Yay, it's your birthday, read to me. On the way home from work and school, Lovie and I will stop off for a cake for tonight. And then Saturday? Eek, Saturday the Tayester and I will be going to a hotel. Overnight. Alone. Together alone. Without Lovie. That's my gift to him. It'll be our first night together without our Lovie.

on this day one year ago

...I posted a little story about Boating Voting!

It made me giggle reading it just now so I thought I'd share the giggle with you. Go forth now and enjoy. ;)

Freezing time

Bliss is watching your child glow from doing something they absolutely love to do but don't get the chance to do it too often.

This past Saturday we took a long drive out to a friends house for a birthday party for a brand new 3-year-old. The weather, while threatening to rain, actually ended up being quite perfect. Especially for two hours of pony rides. There was Dolly (left) who was bigger and so pretty and then there was Macaroni (right) who was dolled up like a unicorn, of course. What birthday party is complete without a unicorn?!

Lovie was in heaven during all of the party. Aside from the two hours of pony rides, there were leaves with kid-size rakes to be raked, pizza and cake, and a sandbox.

But the absolute highlight was seeing her face washed with a smile around those ponies.

***************************

Bliss is watching a lonely old man realize how loved and cared for he really is.

This past Sunday we threw a surprise party for my dad's 80th birthday. It wasn't very lavish and there were only about 25 people (local family) in attendance, but it was perfect because the surprise was an absolute success-- in the end.

My dad almost ruined the surprise by driving downtown instead of being home when my nephew went to pick him up, but luckily my nephew called him and ordered him back to the burbs where the party was being held in a pizza place near Lovie's school. We all watched from the party room (located upstairs) when my dad finally arrived and started frantically waving his arms around while his face got red because of whatever he was bitching about to my poor nephew. Something about how he had to rush everywhere because  "nobody can-ah answer the phone-ah when [he] calls-ah."

Seeing his reaction after he opened the door to the party and after everyone shouted SURPRISE made my heart fill with so much warmth. He looked so happy, so pleasantly surprised, as everyone lined up to give him a hug and wish him a Happy Birthday.

There was lots of laughter, running around, frosting being thrown, tickles... We had calamari, spinach dip and tortilla chips, salad, pasta, pizza and pop.

Several people told me how great it was for me to throw the party and while that was sweet of them to say, I just don't understand why it's a big deal. The man turned 80. Granted 80 isn't 100, but 80 is still a big friggin deal. Why not let someone know you care about them today before it's too late?!

I mean, I didn't throw it to be thanked. I didn't throw it because it was expected. I threw it because a) he's old and turned EIGHTY, b) he needs to understand that people really do still care about him even though he's living in a retirement home and doesn't always hear from us. And all of that was very much accomplished so yay!

***************************

Bliss is feeling your baby girl's hand reach for your hand to hold onto while she drifts to sleep.

This love of mine did just that this morning at about 4:30 after she came in our room because she had to go potty. After she did her business, she sleepily said, "I go sleep in mama and daddy's bed now" while she slumbered into her room to grab her pillow and Grandmabear. She climbed up into our bed and planted herself in the middle between Taye and me, and a couple minutes later, she took my hand, which was near my face, and held onto it while she brought it closer to her. Slowly I could feel her grip lessen as she drifted off to sleep.

***************************

There are times when you wish you could just freeze time. These are some of mine lately. What are some of yours?

a couple conversations and a quick tea party review

"Mama, am I still three and a half?"

"Yes, baby. You've got a couple more months till you're four. Remember, first there's Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then right after Christmas is..."

"My birthdaaaaaaay!"

"Yup."

"And for my birthday, I want to hang a pinyana at the jumpy house."

"A piñata?"

"Yes, a pinyana. Because yesterday the other day when we went to Target to get you coffee, Daddy and me saw the pinyana and that's what I want at my birthday party in the room with the pizza and cake not by the jumpy things."

"You got it, love."

"Mama, your hair is still white."

"Yes, you're right. It is. Why?"

"Well you can't be my mommy wif white hair."

"I will always always always always be your mommy, you hear?"

"But if your hair isn't like mine then you can't be my mommy."

"Well maybe I'll color it green."

Lovie looks at me, mouth ajar as I smile.

"I'll still be your mama with green or white or no hair."

 

****************************************

The Bitty Baby Tea Party was quite the success.

 

Seven little girls, all dolled up with their baby dolls. Tea party sets to play with. Finger foods. Cupcakes.

Lots of pink and purple, lots of giggles (and a little drama), lots and lots of fun.

trying not to be neglectful around here

Last week my cousin was in town with her 2 month old baby doll, so we visited a couple times and had SO much fun.

 

Lovie adores her little cousin. She adores babies. She would make such a good big sister, I just know it. But a good babysitter (one day) will have to do.

******************************************************

Lovie's been practicing writing a lot lately, and it's so amazing to watch.

The other day I went home with a birthday card she made at school during their "Birthday Week" celebration. Girlfriend signed the card herself. Granted the first three letters were on the top and the rest were underneath, but still, it was legible and pretty damn impressive if I do say so myself.

I'm really getting excited about the whole reading and writing step in childhood. It's my favorite. I always loved it in school and out: writing, reading, spelling. So seeing Lovie learn it all is just a blast. And I'm so looking forward to more.

******************************************************

 

Yesterday she refused to nap. It was unfortunate because we were supposed to visit my dad before going to see Despicable Me 2... but since she wouldn't sleep, we couldn't go anywhere--something she was well aware of. She didn't throw a fit or anything when we followed through with not going anywhere. Instead, this is what happened...

before 8PM.

Wordless-ly Wednesday with some links

I snapped this one yesterday on my new phone (actually it's Taye's old phone so it's my new-to-me phone). I don't know why I love it but I do. I love her concentration as she draws Mickey Mouse. I love the mess on the table and the corner rubber piece missing from the table. I love the photos on the wall screaming for me to update them. Mostly, besides loving her, I love that the window is open and the a/c is off.

In other news, here's some fiction I wrote this week. And here's some non-fiction.

TILTW: 8.3-8.9

*
I've been lacking in patience lately. I hate when this happens, but it does.

**
I'm tired of having to repeat things to the point of yelling before shit gets done. I know, I know: welcome to motherhood.

***
I'm also tired of shit getting done only after I threaten to take something away and/or start counting. I know she's just testing me and all, but why does it have to escalate to this every single time?

****
I've pretty much changed my hours at work, and it's working out nicely. I start half an hour later than I did and it's really helped move things along in the morning. Plus, the commute home doesn't seem to be as bad, oddly enough. And, Lovie's been happier when I pick her up because she has more time to play outside with her friends thanks to the later pick up. And morning drop offs are a breeze when I drop her off half hour later than I've been. Not sure what the dealio is with that, but it's been nice.

*****
I finally discovered some Facebook Garage Sale forums in the area and I can't stop looking at the listings. I have yet to offer some goods but I'm astounded at how fast this stuff moves. So much better than listing on Craigslist. Now I just need to start taking pictures and listing shit.

TILTW 7.13-7.19

*
It's too damn hot.

**
The Library rocks, especially on hot days.

***
Books on CDs for kids are awesome for when you're in the car. At least my kid thinks so.

****
I don't think I could endure one more mosquito bite.

*****
I did a bit of writing this week that I'm pretty damn proud of.

******
To any readers going to BlogHer this year in Chicago... you must try Giordano's pizza. You must. And while I'm not going, I do live in the city so if you have any questions, feel free to hit me up.

how to beat the damn heat

...go to the library and spend three hours there reading and coloring and reading and having an awesome, one-on-one time without having to deal with annoying bugs and sweat dripping from your entire body.