I DON'T WANNA!

It's not every day I say this but... I'm kinda glad today is Monday.

This weekend was kind of rough on a whole.

Lovie was really sick Friday and Saturday- feverish both days all day long. Wouldn't drink unless we held a cup with a straw up to her mouth, ate very little. Just laid around all day both days, and very needy (understandably).

Saturday I had plans with some bitches I know for lunch (and drinks) but Taye was kind enough to keep me updated by sending me pathetic texts and photos of Lovie "wanting mommy" and when I got home, all she did was whimper on top of me for about an hour or two: "Mommy" or "I want mommy" despite the fact that I was the one she was laying on.

Sunday Lovie was finally fever free and while we really should've stayed home again, we wanted to take advantage of free Disney on Ice tickets we had so off we went to see Mickey and Merida on Ice. Lovie was super tired the whole time, but did well till the end. That's when she lost her shit and screamed and cried for about two hours. My poor dad met us for the show and we were going to get some lunch afterward but instead, he went home and we went on our way.

After several hours of screaming, Lovie finally calmed down for a couple hours before it was time for bedtime and round two of Screamgate 2013 January Edition.

This morning, I stupidly picked out her Yo Gabba Gabba shirt and jeggings to wear and she lost her shit again. That's when I just walked out her room, leaving her to freak out on her own, and she howled MOMMY like she was in horrific pain. I turned around after taking in a deep breathe and calmly asked her to tell me what she wanted so we could move on with the day. She did and we did.

And now I'm at work and she's at school.

And despite it being only 9AM, I sure could go for a drink like the one in the photo above.

tiny dancer

Lovie took her very first ballet class on Saturday.

She loved it.

We weren't allowed in the room and there was only one tiny two-way mirror for people to leer into but the place was jam packed with people so it was really hard to get a view. Taye had a good view so he took some video.

Any time I was able to peek in, I felt was so proud. She watched with such interest and tried following all instructions.

My big girl.

Afterward, we grabbed some lunch, changed clothes, and went to see YO GABBA GABBA live. More on that awesomeness later.

Girly girl BFFs

My pink and princess-loving girly-girl and her BFF celebrated her BFF's 3rd birthday yesterday at her BFF's house. Despite there being a good two dozen people in attendance (with about 10 littles ranging from 1-10), these two little chica's were inseparable.

And it made my heart swell watching them.

How I pray she will always have someone to sit beside, celebrate with, and snuggle next to forever and ever and ever.

day 5 NaBloPoMo: the Snaply

Remember how I said things were changing with our weekend morning routines? That Lovie wasn't interested in snuggling in bed with us while watching cartoons? And I was kinda bummed about it?

Well, that is still the case, but she does still like to snuggle for naps.

Introducing the Snaply, the snugly nap:

room was dark and flash was too bright so i had to keep my eyes shut during the photo

They're the bomb diggity and I highly encourage you to take advantage if you have time.

I know it may seem like you don't have time, but oh man is it worth it if you can make it...


We scored free tickets to the circus yesterday but the show was at 1 o'clock. That's usually nap time if we're lucky. But thanks to the time change and Lovie falling asleep in the car on the way home Saturday night, she woke before any other human in the world yesterday and we were able to get in an earlier than usual nap before the Circus.

At first we tried our regular old read-a-story-lay-your-ass-down-in-bed-and-take-a-nap routine. But someone wasn't having it. So I quietly went into her room--light still out, shades still down--and scooped her up into my arms to tell her a spooky story, which she still requests.

She burrowed into me and I told a story until we both fell asleep...The two of us...Sitting on a super comfy yet cheap ass chair from IKEA.

I woke up about an hour into the nap with a stiff neck and Taye peeked in shortly after. I asked that he take the photo because I know what it feels like to hold her and get an awesome Snaply in, but I wanted to see what it looked like, too.

Just as wonderful as it felt.

day 4 NaBloPoMo: wasting away

I don't think she has much time left. I've been saying this for a good year now, but I really don't think there's much time left. And then I look at the date on the calendar and wonder if somehow the universe is up to something. In less than three days it will have been seven years since my Ota passed away. Is it sick of me to wonder if Oma may be joining him on that date?

Probably.

She's just not doing well. She doesn't talk as much. Her breathing seems to be SO deliberate and heavy even though she's just sitting there.

...Wasting away.

Literally.

She's SO thin. Her skin is practically see-through.

She tells me she can't eat, she has no appetite, and that it's upsetting to her. She doesn't understand why she can't eat.

My mom tells me she pukes if she does eat.

She sits in the same spot in the corner of the couch in front of the window. Her legs fold over one another so easily because of the lack of meat on her frail bones that it looks as if the two legs are one.

I want to reach out and just hold her hand but I'm terrified of putting her in more pain.

I can see how tired she is. I can see her wanting it to be her time. And I begin to feel the same way as I think, "Please let the pain and suffering end; she doesn't deserve this kind of life."

When it's time to say goodbye, I make sure Lovie gives her a hug and kiss. Oma gets upset because Lovie doesn't look at her. I've never noticed this before and Oma has never said this before- that Lovie doesn't look at her. I think Lovie might be afraid.

These are the moments in life that suck so bad.

day 3 NaBloPoMo: change

I think it's official.

I think my little lovebug is over snuggles in bed with mommy and daddy on weekend mornings. :( Now she insists on watching TV on the big TV (in the living room). It kinda sucks. I loved the snuggles. There was a time when I used to dream of snuggling in bed with my family on weekend mornings. And then when she was about a year old, that came true (she wasn't into watching TV prior to then). It was beautiful. And warm. And just awesome.

But now she wants no part of it.

She's getting so big...This year has been full of so much growth, it's kind of crazy to me.

She's still my little Lovie- always will be. She still loves to snuggle. We have so much fun together almost all the time. I love it all, I love her. I love my life.

But the weekends are changing. Life is changing. She's changing.

this weekend

FRIDAY

"Is that for me?" she gasps, her eyes widening and a smile covering her face. "Are those butterfly wings? For me??"

"Sure baby," I answer, cringing at the sight of fuscia and glitter. Oh how I hate glitter. And pink.

I help her get the wings and tutu on over the dress she's worn for the day. "Wait, here's a magic wand, too!"

thank you MommySHORTS and one of your sponsors to the Evil Glare-off getting this to us in just days!

"A magic wand?!" she repeats with glee, her eyes sparkling like the glitter on her wings.


SATURDAY

While Taye took Lovie to gymnastics and lunch, I spent a couple hours at the salon getting my nails and hair done (thanks to a gift card Taye gave me for my birthday in September). It's been over three years (August 2009), since having anyone cut my hair, but I was ready. I wanted to keep the length (no Mom cut, please), but I wanted it shorter in the back, longer in the front.

She did the opposite.

Of course.

Meh, it's all good though. At least I have hair.

As for the nails, I went with a super dark purple/almost black color for both my toes and fingers. Normally I go dark for my toes, but rarely do I get manicures and never have I gone too dark. I figured with Halloween coming up, why not live a little.

I love them. Love Love Love them. I definitely think I'll get more manis and go dark again.

When Lovie noticed them she said, "What happened?" as she held a finger.

"I got my nails painted," I replied.

"Why black? What about pink?"

She was super confused, but has since moved on.


SUNDAY

We hung out inside all day... watching TV, playing monster and hide n seek, painting.



My heart is *so* full.



Manic Monday

original title, I know, but it is what it is and today is a Manic Monday because I was off work last Thursday and Friday and it's been non-stop since: pumpkin farm Thursday, broken glasses and cancelled spa day (wah!) Friday, gymnastics and birthday party Saturday, out for my dad's birthday yesterday. I'M TIRED!

Here's a damn cute pic of us from Thursday.

Damn cute, right? :)

My glasses broke in half Friday so I'm sporting new ones, but nobody has noticed so that probably means they don't look bad? Who cares. All I know is I still haven't had my hair cut and I'm sad about that. (August 2009 was the last time I had it cut professionally.)

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My Lovie's in a big girl bed. She's peeing and pooping in the potty, too. Basically, she's a big girl. I'm so super proud of her, but man, it's happening sooo fast. : (

Speaking of Lovie, you must vote for her (she's like the 10th pairing down) at Mommy Shorts' Evil Baby Glare-off. Don't let the happy cutie in the pic at the top of the page fool you; she's pure evil that one. ;)

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Went to the pumpkin farm yesterday and had a blast.

A BLAST!

We fed giraffes carrot sticks and had their long-ass tongues envelope our hands while their gooey saliva trailed long after their heads poked back behind the fence.

We saw a dinosaur eating pumpkin that roared and... chomped on pumpkins.

We saw and fed a bunch of other animals.

Someone rode a pony for the first time ever.

We ran around and played on everything at least once.

After four hours, we went to get lunch and then someone passed out in the car.

And, last night, someone also slept her first night in a big girl bed (she climbed out three times the other night).

Happy Friday, Happy Weekend, Happy Fall Y'all.

The Hunger Treat

"I WANT TO GO TO DA HUNGER TREAT SUPAMARKET TO GET BANANAS!!" Lovie screamed and cried, kicking her legs against the back of the passenger seat of my car as we drove home from school Friday afternoon.

After a minute of screaming and me not reacting, she quieted down and I soon heard heavy breathing coming from the back seat. I nonchalantly sat more erect in my seat to sneak a peek through the rear view mirror and saw this:

I chuckled and noted that it had been well over a year since she's fallen asleep on our way home from school... and I also noted that it explained the absolute freak out over wanting to go to the Hunger Treat store.

WTF is a Hunger Treat store anyway?!

Haha this kid cracks my shit up on a daily basis... Hunger Treat is, I believe, a combo of Halloween and Trick or Treat and means either one or both of those. She's hooked on Hunger Treat lately:

"I wanna watch the Hunger Treat Umizoomi." (OMG this damn episode of Team Umizoomi- "Ghost"- has been played at least ... AT LEAST... 10 times this weekend and we weren't even home Saturday!)

"Look at the Hunger Treat ghost-es!"

"We go to Hunger Treat today, Mama?"

Other than Hunger Treat, this chica is really into feeding the ducks over by the river we live a block and a half from. We went last Sunday for a walk (she "rode" her bike), so we went again yesterday with some crackers that have sat untouched for quite some time with the sole purpose of feeding the ducks.

While on the bridge, I handed the camera off to Taye to ask for some pics of my girl and me and... you know, I'm so damned fortunate and blessed. Taye takes such good photos and even if I'm tired, old, fat, white-haired,

tired, old, fat, WHITE-haired!

it just doesn't friggin matter when it comes to Lovie.

she gets a kick out of pulling the strings on my hoodie

she thinks she's a great tickler. :)

And it shouldn't matter to you, either.

Take photos of your kids, but take photos of you with your kids, too!

Happy October!

Oh me oh my is Fall my most favorite time of year. I look forward to it all year round... the cooler temps, the warmer clothes, the Pumpkin Spiced Lattes, the changing colors, the crunchy leaves, the crisper air, the gorgeous colors in the sky.

During Summer months, when most people are out and about enjoying the heat and less clothing, I tend to stay more indoors. I hate the heat. I hate the humidity. I hate the less clothing. So while most people I know also love Fall, my love for it goes beyond the normal love. I love it because it gets me outside more in the beautiful cooler fresh air. And man, does that do a body and mind good.

 

Saturday we went to gymnastics (indoors), walked to lunch, came home and napped, and went out to the burbs to get our pictures taken at a farm I never even knew existed.

The farm and area were absolutely gorgeous and I cannot wait to see the rest of the photos, nor can't I wait to go back to this farm again.

Lovie did a great job getting her picture taken; it didn't hurt that she had the promise of seeing animals like horse and cow. In fact, this morning, she told her teacher that she got to see a cow pee.

The best thing about this hidden gem of a place is that it was so empty. So serene. So perfect for a beautiful weekend visit.

Sunday we hung out in the morning before Lovie and I took a walk (she rode her bike) to the river to see if we could see some ducks. Luckily another woman and child were feeding some ducks and shared some of the feed with Lovie. After that, we went over the bridge that crosses the river and looks over the river on one side, and the street we live on on the other side. We may live in the city, but living this close to a river is pretty badass. It's stunning this time of year with all the trees changing colors.

Ah, Life is good... Happy Fall!

soaking in every bit of it

"I don't wanna nap. I don't wanna nap!" Lovie whines while sprawled in my lap.

 

"I know baby doll," I whisper, my arms wrapped around her body.

 

"I don't wanna nap, I don't wanna nap."

 

"Shh, it's okay."

 

"I don't wanna nap, I don't wanna nap!"

 

"Will you sing with me?"

 

She whimpers a bit, whines some more, I start to softly sing our "special song" (You are my Sunshine).

 

She continues to whine and cry a bit but she doesn't move. She lays comfortably on me, my arms holding her up, my legs bouncing the chair back and forth. I'm reminded of when she was first born and would fit perfectly in my arms. She was so itty bitty. Her hair was so fine, so soft; her skin so milky.

 

She's so much bigger now. A little person who talks and makes jokes and has opinions. A little person who doesn't want to nap, doesn't want to miss a second of life.

 

After a couple minutes of singing the same lines over and over again, she stops whining, stops crying and her eyes get heavier and heavier before finally closing shut. I continue to sing softly, tears streaming down my face. She completely trusts me to take care of her. She looks to me for comfort. She looks to me to help guide her to do the right thing. She says she doesn't want to nap, but she knows I know she does.

 

I hold her a bit longer, soaking in every bit of the stillness of the moment, knowing it won't last forever, knowing there will come a time when she won't want my arms around her, when she won't come to me for comfort for every little thing.

 

I have so much to do- laundry, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, writing, editing, eating, sleeping, TVing- but none of it matters. None of it matters except for one thing: her.

 

I slowly stop bouncing the chair, stop singing the words. I slowly stand up and gently lift her up and over and into the crib. She whimpers for a moment and quickly silents as she sleeps oh so peacefully for a couple hours.

too soon Monday

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a homebody.

Maybe it's because I work full time outside of the home, maybe it's because I'm a lazy fuck. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoy weekends when we have little planned.

This past weekend was anything but...

Saturday we took Lovie to gymnastics where I realized that 2.5 is the age to start such a class. She absolutely loves participating and learning and listening to the teachers. Watching her follow along to instructions is just so awesome to experience. There's lots of I can't do it!'s but that's always followed by excited, I did it!!'s.

She plays hard and then naps hard.

After her nap following lunch after gymnastics, Lovie and I headed out to a birthday party for a one year old boy of a friend of mine. We spent several hours there and Lovie, again, had a great time. She's just so happy and awesome. I just adore watching her interact with others.

enough already. where's MY piece of cake?

Noon yesterday (Sunday), we headed out to my cousin's house an hour and half away for another party (for my cousin's 5 year old). Lovie napped in the car and when asked if she was ready for another party, she popped her eyes open and out we went into the backyard for the rest of the day.

Despite lots of bugs and bees everywhere, a great time was had.

When we got home, it was already bedtime but I did let her watch one Little Einsteins episode (this kid is addicted to TV!).

After a couple books, it was lights out for Lovie, and soon me.

And now it's Monday. Already. That's why I like staying home and doing whatever, whenever most weekends... Mondays seem to take a bit longer getting here than when we're super busy.

Celebrate!

We celebrated the end to the disgusting heat wave with an impromptu trip to the zoo. It was still hot (in the sun) but we had fun and somehow, it made the weekend seem like a little vacation. Hooray.

nothing exciting going on over here

We didn't do much of anything this weekend.

I mean, it's Summertime and according to Facebook, we should be doing a lot during the summer on the weekends. We should be going to the pool, water park, or beach; we should be going to amusement parks and zoos; we should be having huge family BBQs. There shouldn't ever be a dull moment during our weekends in the summer.

Yet this weekend was, in fact, quite dull. And frankly, we like it like that.

Saturday we drove an hour and half out to visit with my ailing grandmother, stopping off for lunch at a Chile's first.

We spent 3 hours with Oma in her un-air conditioned, un-childproofed house. I parked my fat ass next to Oma on the couch and listened to her stories and opinions and memories (good and bad) for three hours while Taye kept Lovie occupied with toys and modeling clay inside, trips outside to kick a nerf ball around, play with chalk. When we got home, we ate some take-out, watched TV for a bit, and went to bed.

Yesterday we did nothing but play restaurant, hide n seek, and tea party before taking a nap and heading out to the grocery store. When we got home, we had dinner, Lovie took a bath, we watched TV, went to bed.

There was no water play, no fun rides, no new toys. It was just the three of us giggling, farting around, and enjoying each other's company.

Truth be told it was pretty damn glorious.

sweet dreams

The make-believe this child is coming up with lately is too much fun. Too much fun. We laugh so much while playing with her. I know I've said it before but I really do mean it this time: this is the absolute best age.

Before she goes to bed for the night, we spend 15 minutes in her room doing whatever she wants to do. Lately that's a lot of singing and dancing. She'll pick up an old toy and turn it into a microphone and announce, "Ladies and Gentlemen, now introducing Mama and Daddy!" and then the hubs and I cheer and she hands me the toy and tells me to try it. I take it and speak into it, "Ladies and Gentlemen, now introducing... Lovie!!" and she bows and says "Thank you, Thank you!"

this may or may not be
a pic of my child's crack

It's hysterical. Really, it is.

Tonight, she gave the "microphone" to her daddy and he announced her and said that he would sing while she danced. And that's exactly what happened. Only while she danced, her pullup started falling down and she was bouncing around the room with her little crack showing.

I was in tears from laughing and couldn't get to the camera fast enough.

Then the alarm went off on my phone (all part of our fabulous bedtime routine) indicating bedtime and surprisingly, she settled right down despite all the goofing around.

As Daddy laid blankets on her, I stood in the doorway and said, "I love you sweet baby."

She replied, "I love you sweet bay... mama!"

Heh, this little chica is just so damn awesome and I'm just so damn blessed it's crazy.

Sweet dreams.

I wish

... I could look this cool while sitting on my front stoop in 97 degree temperatures whilst nomming on a string cheese stick.

Hashbrowns

a weekend listicle

10 things from the Weekend: a Listicle

linking this photo up with The Paper Mama

* Lovie and I stopped off at the park on Friday; we were the only people there. It was cold so I put a pair of baby legwarmers on her arms and hands so her hands wouldn't get so cold (hence the robotic look in the photo).  While she was climbing one of the ladders, she lost her foot and landed- crotch first- onto one of the bars. Oh dear MY crotch was hurting after that. I felt so bad for her but she wanted to keep playing and went ahead and climbed the same ladder again. Rock star kiddo.

* Saturday morning, the hubs took Lovie to gymnastics while I stayed home to clean and wait for the gas company which never showed. After they got back home, Lovie asked to take a nap (seriously) so she took one and shortly after she woke, my mom came over. While she was napping, the hubs told me how it had been one of the best days of his life. "She was so happy!" he said. Turns out they were early to gymnastics so they stopped at the park near the gymnastics place since it was so beautiful out.  When it was time to leave for gymnastics, Lovie asked to stay at the park so they did. And they played and climbed and swung and slided.  "She was just so happy," he said. "She would do something and laugh about it and she was just so happy. It was the greatest day of my life." It was awesome listening to him gush. "That's why we stop off at the park so much," I commented. "Because it really does make her so happy."

* After "Gamma" came, we talked about going back to the park. Friday's cold temperatures turned upward. It was beautiful out. We never made it out, though. Instead we all played Tea Party until a pizza arrived. Then we ate and watched a little TV before putting Lovie to bed and rushing out the door. Gamma was spending the night so the hubs and I went to a movie- Project X. Lovie will never be leaving the house without us.

* Yesterday was incredible. The temperature reached 70, there were no clouds in the sky, the birds were chirping like crazy. An absolute picture perfect day. Lovie, Gamma, and I headed out to the park pretty early. I wanted to bottle the day it was so perfect. When we got home, fresh, homemade waffles were waiting for us- thanks the hubs.

Gamma got Lovie this Tea Set for Easter- this photo is from February when she was playing with it at her cousin's house

* We chatted for a bit, Lovie poured everyone tea. The sun beamed in, the cats stretched in the sun puddles. My mom and I played Words with Friends even though we sat across the table from one another and could've just played Scrabble.

* I made ham and egg cups (so damn easy and good) and potatoes for lunch. We all chowed down despite just having had waffles a couple hours prior.

* Lovie went down for a nap. Gamma left to go home. I took a nap.

* I woke, then Lovie woke and we had some Doritos.

* We thought about going back outside, out to the park. The weather was just so unbelievably perfect. I'm generally not an outdoorsy type of person; I don't mind sitting my fat ass inside. But there was just something about this weekend, about yesterday that made me want to be outside. At one point, I even commented to the hubs how I kind of wished we had a deck or a backyard; I wanted to go out, but I didn't want to walk 6 blocks to the park. So Lovie and I watched Bubble Guppies while Daddy made some sugar cookies.

* I gave Lovie a bath and washed her hair and fell even more in love with the Mixed Chicks hair products we got the other week. Man, does the shampoo smell good. Man, does the conditioner kick ass and make it easier to comb through her hair. Man, does the leave-in conditioner work nicely. And man oh MAN do I LOVE the tangle-tamer spray for the next day. This line of products is sincerely worth every single penny. It's not cheap but a little of each goes a long way and Lovie's hair is just way more manageable.

How was your weekend?

a day in the life of (when we're home): The Listicle

It's Monday Listicles Day!

I'm playing a bit differently than the rest and presenting a day in the life of (when we're home). Today's Listicle is immediately followed by pictures with greater explanation... I hope you enjoy!

1.       Smiles and snuggles in bed

2.       Cheerios (and milk!)

3.       Glue sticks and crafting fun while listening to Christmas music (I'm not even exaggerating one bit when I say that Lovie sat in her chair the entire time we made our wreath! I never knew a glue stick could hold an almost 2 year old's attention even more than Team Umizoomi!)

4.       TV break

5.       Time to make some cookies and eat lunch

6.       Nap time

7.       Snuggles and TV

8.       Daddy’s home

9.       Tuna sandwiches and chips

10.   Bath and bedtime

In greater detail...

Bedtime Saturday night was a tad later than normal so Lovie didn't get up Sunday morning till Daddy got up to go to work at about 8 (this is completely abnormal- neither of us work weekends). He brought her in to me and she was all smiles. What a way to wake up! (Normally I get her up.) We snuggled in bed for about half an hour, watching Chica on Sprout TV. Then we got up, had some cheerios, and started our day as Daddy went to work. 

After daddy got home, we all had tuna sandwiches and chips, watched Team Umizoomi (while I played on the computer) and colored. Then daddy gave Lovie a bath and we got ready for bed (watched an episode of Ni Hao Kai Lan before retiring to Lovie's room and reading for about 15 minutes).

I'm not sure what I would do with myself if every day was as awesome as this.  We could go on walks, to the park, visit the old folks (my dad's retired, his parents are retired, my Oma is ailing). We could go to the library and book stores, out for coffee and hot chocolate. Or we could just stay home like we did this day and do a lot of nothing- yet oh so much!

Thank goodness I have work to snap me back into reality.

Seriously, thank goodness for days like yesterday. I take NONE of it for granted and I very well realize how lucky I do have it- to at least be blessed with such an amazing little girl who calls me Mama.