TILTW: 10.27-11.2

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I think I need some sort of change again. I got my haircut last weekend and I just want a lot more cut off the back (shorter in back, longer in front). But I'm scared they'll cut it too short (the shorter it is, the tighter the curls get) so I tell them to leave the length and they do. And I want it shorter. Ha. I'm gonna have to be a big girl and just go and get it cut once and for all. It'll grow back in time if it ends up being too short.

 

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I'm going to vote today. I'm excited. At 40, this isn't my first time voting but I'm embarrassed to say that this is the first time I'm voting early (even though it's only a couple days early) because I never knew I could vote early. I live under a rock sometimes.

 

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Speaking of living under a rock, I'm completely oblivious to most horrendous going-ons in the world. I completely shut it all out. If I see a link to an article about some nanny killing some kids, I don't click on it. I can't handle it. I feel so ignorant as a result, but my heart can't handle it.

 

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An online friend mentioned a while back that she bought bulk granola bars and water bottles from Costco or Sams Club or whatever, and then bundles them together in little packages to hand out to the homeless she may run across. She especially does this when her young boy is with her so he can see that not everyone has everything they need, and that it's great to give if you can. I always think about doing this every time I see a homeless person on the streets at a stop light, but I never have anything in my car and I rarely carry cash. I MUST GET TO COSTCO BY END OF NEXT WEEK!

 

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Three weeks from today, I'll be putting up all our Christmas decor. That blows my mind away... another year is coming to a close! Hmm, should I do another Come Play With Me guest blog series? Hmm, maybe so. Anything to resurrect that creepy photo. ;)

 

 

Come Play with Me: 5

It's my Monday today, but it's really Wednesday. Super cool. Something else that's cool is that I have another edition of Come Play with Me Guest Post series and today's piece is written by one of my favorite bloggers and friend, Monica from Peeper Summarized. I swear to you, every time I click into her blog, I end up in tears in one way or the other because her writing is that touching, that moving, that emotional, that beautiful. And her love of motherhood is sooo inspiring.

 

Anyhow, let's get on with Monica's take on 2012...

 

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When Christina asked who might like to write a little somethin' about what they learned this year or what they were looking forward to for next year I shot her an email right away. Duh! Of course! I could knock this out in a heartbeat. New Years is my thing.

It's not the Auld Lange Syne, party horns and champagne aspect of the new year that I love so much. It's the fresh start. Who doesn't love the opportunity to turn over a new leaf? Granted, this is a completely made-up time point and on January 1 none of us wakes up fundamentally any different than we were when we fell asleep on December 31. But possibility towers over every failed attempt and discouragement in our past. We get reacquainted with the idea of our own potential and that is what I love.

So imagine how stymied I was to sit down day after day and find that I wasn't inspired to write ANYTHING. There's been plenty going on so that wasn't the problem. Or maybe it was the problem: too busy to reflect about the past and future. For the past few years a theme or mantra, if you will, for the coming year just finds me. This isn't something that I have to consciously think about - something rich just filters out of all the reflection that seems to occur so naturally around this time of year. Usually, the theme/mantra/battle cry is something absolutely revolutionary to me. It drives the coming year in a way that New Years resolutions just can't do.

For example, in 2010 I was overwhelmed with gratitude. All I could think about as the new year rang in was how grateful I was that me, my daughter and my husband were alive and healthy.

In 2011 there was a lot of work to be done: history was waiting to be written. I had a necklace made with this exact phrase printed on it. I wore that necklace every time I anticipated a difficult day or any time I needed to be reminded that with every passing moment I was in control of which part of me would show up  - and I wanted it to be good.

This year we did all that work and the reward for it is that in the coming year nearly everything we know is going to change. For a control freak like me, this is disquieting at best and paralyzing at worst. Even good changes are still changes ... but that makes for one crappy mantra.

Tonight after Ada was in bed I lay covered up on the couch thinking about all the stuff I should be doing. Early pregnancy fatigue has settled in heavily and I'm dragging myself around to get the bare minimum basics taken care of - it's a miracle if I stay up much past 9:30. Laziness has it's silver lining though. In the middle of all that stillness a little voice in my head said something and it all clicked. Angels sang, clouds parted and I knew what 2012 would be all about for me. The little voice that represents the steadier side of me whispered confidently:

"You are exactly where you are meant to be."

Some people have known this their whole lives but this was a freaking revelation for me! From Buddhist reading I know, like, in-my-head-know-it, that this is what a good buddha should strive to know. But knowing it in your thoughts and really knowing it in your soul are such completely different things. This isn't the kind of thing that you can try to know either - your life experience just has to bring it to you. Once you realize it though... Click! you really know it. And my God, that is one incredibly freeing thing to realize. The guilt and angst of always feeling the need to be somewhere else doing something else has vanished. What an amazing gift.

It's OK to have been wherever you were - it was the right thing then.
It's OK to be headed somewhere intentionally - that's how we create our lives.
But it's also OK to be right where you are right now.
This is exactly where you are meant to be.

Turns out that there is a sweet prayer attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux that sums it all up so nicely:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Happy New Year to all and may you find your battle cry for 2012!

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See what I mean? Does she not have a way with words?! 

 

Please go on over to Peeper Summarized and check out more about Monica and her family and become as infatuated with her place (blog) as I am! I dare you NOT to.

 

Thanks for playing, Monica! : )

Come Play with Me: 4

It's another exciting day today as Melissa from MaMe Musings joins us to embark on episode four of my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

Melissa's super duper busy these days with her own blog, life, and I'm thinking her two adorable TWIN toddlers might have something to do with it, too, so I'm really grateful she took the time to play with us. Take note, too, cuz she's got some really great advice about how to approach the new year.

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My Birthday List

Thanks so much to Christina for having me over at Finally Mom today!! I am excited to be guest posting at one of the cutest, funniest blogs I know.

On most ordinary days, I can be found at my blog,MaMe Musings, sharing the joys and challenges of raising my 18 month old boy/girl twins, Emily and Andrew.



Originally when I thought about what I could share from my 2011, I envisioned a post about things like my extreme home make-over, my journey to complete (dis)organization, or my middle- of- the- night insecurities. Sort of a retrospective, if you will, highlighting all the, um, parenting experience and wisdom I gained the hard way along the way.

Then I thought about discussing all the fun things I am looking forward to in 2012: toddlers who can talk and argue back, potty-training not one but two kids who currently don’t mind poo, or the real “Terrible Twos” since apparently the tantrums we are now experiencing are just a precursor to the fun that is to come.



But, for some reason, none of these posts came forth. Like my pregnancy that eventually had to be induced, this post likewise seemed destined to be overdue.



What could I share to inspire other moms beyond cute pictures of my babies like this one?



And then it hit me like a sippy cup flying out of the back seat.

So, I hope you will indulge me as I take you back to end of 2010, to my 35th birthday, which I promise will bring us back to 2011 and into 2012:

In the midst of feeling like the weight of my birthday was going to crush me, Marty tried hard to perk me up by planning a birthday surprise that included an afternoon at the art museum sans babies.

As we strolled through the whiteness of the museum, I felt the tension between the peacefulness of the setting and my frenetic mind. Feeling more mixed up than an abstract painting, I had to work to slow down and soak in the serenity. Away from my cell phone, Facebook, and babies, Marty and I walked through the museum at our own pace. I felt keenly aware of the sanctity of life as I looked into the eyes through the ages. As I tried to place myself in the grandness of history, I realized anew that one of our greatest abilities is the ability to think, and for a while, I selfishly reveled in thinking deeply about the art that was before me. I realized much of the beauty was of the ordinary variety—a bowl of fruit, a couple in love, a sunrise, a man standing alone. As a new mom, I was drawn to the pictures of mothers with their children. Regardless of the time that separates us, the connection is the same, and I thanked God again for the opportunity to count myself among those who answer to name of “mommy.” In a time when the world seems to be shrinking, my stroll through the museum reminded me that there is still a big, wide world that awaits my visit. Just as art requires us to slow down and be intentional in our thoughts, I think the art of enjoying life requires some of the same intentionality. Don’t we all need to slow it down and appreciate the art of daily life just a little bit more?



Image Credit

One of my favorite teacher sayings and an art-inspired one at that is, “Attitude is the mind’s paintbrush,” and as I left the museum that day, I tried to color my attitude with a brighter hue.

I resolved to be more intentional about my happiness and about living my life. I resolved to quit using the babies as an excuse for not doing things and instead view them as the motivation for doing them. My babies deserved the best mommy possible.

And that was the start of my birthday list.

The idea was simple: 36 things I wanted to complete in my 36th year. There were big, broad items like (1) Be the best mommy I can be. And small, specific ones like (10) Learn to play poker. There were some serious, adult ones like (11) Re-evaluate my long-term finances. And childish, playful ones like (31) hang-gliding. Of course, there were the perfunctory ones like (24) Lose weight or (25) Eat healthier. I threw in random ones: (33) Watch a meteor shower and (21) learn to make a good mixed drink



(14) Support a charity (Go, Little Pink Houses of Hope!)

My 36th birthday came and went in November 2011, and as I look back on my list, I realize I accomplished probably two-thirds of my list. Some are a work in progress like (3) Take a good picture; some were started and not finished-- (8) reading a book a month; while others never even came close to happening—(5) a 5K. What was I thinking??

I almost typed that I just completed two-thirds, but I think adding just minimizes my effort. Sure I didn’t accomplish everything, but I certainly accomplished way more than I would have without the list.

First, the list made me think about what I wanted, needed, and valued. It made get specific, get motivated.

The list made me intentional.

While being the best mom I could possibly be was rightfully number one, I know that, ironically, this list helped me be a better mom, as I carved out time to feed my spirit, recharge my mommy batteries, and reconnect with the woman who I have grown to be.
Originally, I stated my ultimate goal for the list was “to use each day to the best of my ability, and hopefully arrive at 36, alive and healthy, rejuvenated and ready to find 36 new ways to love my life.” Again, I was pretty close. I am still working on “rejuvenated.” (I think a spa day is in order after putting up Christmas trees with twin toddlers!)

So am I making a “37 things to do before I am 37” list? I am actually contemplating a slight twist, a challenge I am calling 12 in 2012. In short, I will be identifying 12 core values I want to illuminate in 2012. Sound like a challenge you’d be interested in undertaking with me? Stay tuned to MaMe Musings for more details (coming right after I get started on my Christmas shopping and take down what remains of my decorations—ie. Somewhere around the first of January!)



I hope to see you in 2012. Until then, I hope you have a very happy (and intentional) end of 2011!

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As if her twins weren't cute enough and keep her busy enough, Melissa's got the brains to come up with what I think is a brilliant idea... 12 in 2012?! Man, I wish I had thought of it! As it is, I've been pondering on doing a 40 before 40 list (since I'll be turning the big 4-0 in September oh dear oh my) but 40 is a big number of things to come up with. 

I'm so grateful to have done this series; I've learned SO much- not only about each participant, but I also learned that it's time to look forward to 2012. It's time to make some plans and live life to the fullest. Yes, it's great to live life every day to the fullest, which I really try to do, but making a plan or two can't hurt, can it?

Anyway, thanks so much for playing Melissa! 



If anyone out there might be interested in playing, please shoot me an email at finallymom@gmail.com.

Come play with me: 3

Today is Friday, Friday, Gotta Get down on Friday... and it's also time to get down with Heather from Life with the Ardies. She's lucky contestant number THREE in my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

 

Heather's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011- and prove to us all how crazy her life has been. I honestly cannot fathom doing all that she does so yes, I have to agree: girl's life be crazy!

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Hey everyone! My name is Heather and I’m a mess.

 

You see, five years ago my husband and I had the grand idea that both of us were going to go back to school and get our Ph.Ds in psychology. Together. At the same time. Yes, we had an idea what we were getting ourselves into. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But damn... I didn’t know it was going to test me like no other.

Now, we made it through each month with our measly student salaries. And we made it through a pregnancy, a birth on the first day of school, and two more years of school. We also made it through the educational budget crisis that left me with an unpaid internship.

That brings me to the present day. I’m a mess because I’m a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time student, full-time intern, and full-time whatever else I can’t think of at the moment. And because I’m FAR more productive at doing things I shouldn’t be doing compared to things I should (like dissertation, laundry, Pinterest, Facebook, etc), I’m sitting here reflecting on my crazy year and the things I’ve learned this year. For example, I’ve learned:

~ Potential employers are full of it. After applying for internships at the beginning of this year, I got a couple “We regret to inform you...” letters. Oh, come on!! LIARS! You don’t regret anything! This letter does not affect you in any way. I regret to tell you to shut the hell up!

~ Toddlers are much harder work than newborns, infants, and babies put together. Getting sleep in only 2-hr stretches has NOTHING on: Mommy! Mommy! Mom! Look! Look, Mommy! Look! It’s an airplane! Hey! Mommy! Look, a tree! Let’s count them. Mommy! Mom! Momma! Look! I know she’s excited about everything she’s experiencing in the world. I know she’s so happy she can articulate what she’s experienced. But Mommy just wants to play the quiet game right now.

~ Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean spending 3 hours on Pinterest when you should be working on reports. Like I have any time to make a t-shirt scarf or a bracelet out of nuts and bolts! Wait! Is that a pin for cookie dough truffles? Oh yeah, I DEFINITELY have time for that. Move over graduate school. You’ll have to wait a bit.

And if you’ve got anything from my post, I hope you caught the sarcasm and humor. I joke around. A lot. In all seriousness though.... It’s been one crazy year and I bitch about a lot of it on my blog. But I’m truly thankful for all the support I have in my life. I’ve made it this far without a diagnosis of some psychological disorder. And as crazy as my life gets at times, I think I’m ready for the challenge! Bring it, 2012!

 

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Ahhh don't you just adore that picture?! Since Heather told me I could use any pic from her blog, I had to steal it and pimp it out over here. I think it's a great representation for who Heather is- how she's got a great sense of humor, is smitten for her Babygirl and husband, and how all of this helps her maintain her sanity during these crazy busy times in her life.

 

I feel so very honored that she was able to make some time to play with me!

 

Thanks for playing, Heather!

 

 

 

(reading and want to play? email me your post: finallymom@gmail.com)

Come Play with Me: 2

Today is another special day. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the second (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And this one is from a newer blogging pal of mine, the first to actually submit a post to me, Jennifer from Just Jennifer. 

Jennifer's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011 and how she's gonna apply it moving forward- and it's a lesson that we all can take advantage of learning about (IMO, of course):

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When I saw what Christina suggested that other bloggers write about for her I was stumped.

“What are you looking forward to in 2012?  What is something you’re taking from 2011 and tucking in your memory pocket for later?”

I did the ole Winnie the Pooh “think, think, think” bit and managed to come up with something.

The older I get the more I notice running themes in my life.  Sometimes they’re even yearly themes.  In 2011 I believe my keywords were OPEN and SHED.

Not like open the shed!  Duh.  I mean, I learned to BE OPEN and SHED CRAP.

Shedding the crap from one’s life is hard.  Things like insecurities, resentments, expectations.  They have a strong hold.  But for me this year, I have felt so many of these things falling away from who I am.

I wish I could tell you how this is happening, but I really don’t know.  It could be experience and wisdom.  It could be perspective.  The perspective I get from loving someone with health problems.  I’m thinking it’s a combo of these.

I noticed the being open part when I basically “went public” with my blogging.  It was always technically public, but I wasn’t actively trying to grow my blog into something more than my personal journal until I had been doing it over a year.

Once I stepped out of my box, a whole new world opened up to me and I’m loving it.  As I began discovering more, I became open to the possibilities that lay before me.  And I feel like it’s become a new motto to live by: just be open to the possibilities.

In short, I am open without expectation.  Does that make any sense?

And moving forward into 2012, all I hope for is more of the same.  That I continue to learn and grow and change, stay open and keep shedding the unnecessary crap I carry around.

Thank you, Christina, for the opportunity to write this.  I’m glad I was open to it!  :-)

Jen is submitting this post to Lovelinks #35.

 

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It's amazing how being open and shedding the crap can empower a person, eh? I think if more people did this, we'd all get along a bit better because it may allow us to just move forward instead of holding grudges. But what do I know?

I do know that Jennifer is good people- and we have a lot in common. And that's reason enough for you to go and check her and her story out.
 

Thanks for playing, Jen!

Come play with me: 1

Today is special. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the first (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And I couldn't think of a better way to kick this off than with my good friend, Lisa (or LOG) from the O'Gs!

Lisa's chosen to tell us about what she's looking forward to in 2012, and I just want to tell you all, right here and right now, that this chica is one fiercely strong mama of two beautiful toddlers- and her post proves why. Rather than focus on the negatives in her life, she's looking ahead to the good and really, only the good. Incredible, really.

Check it out for yourself:

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Howdy!! I'm Lisa (or LOG, whichever) from The O'Gs.  I'm thrilled to be posting here at Christina's blog today.  Christina is a very good friend of mine and we've experienced some of the joy and heartache of being mamas together.  She guest posted for me back in October and I am happy to return the favor.

Welcome 2012!

So 2011 was a rough year for my family.   My father-in-law passed away in January.  My mom has gotten worse and worse.  The second half started looking up.  I got a new job, my husband got promoted.  However, I'm hoping that the "new year, new start" mantra will work for us in 2012.  So, here, for your reading pleasure, is what I am looking forward to in 2012.

January

The Bears being in the playoffs.  This will happen.

Getting together with family to remember my FIL.  This will be sad, it will be emotional, there will be tears.  But there will also be laughter, love, and happy stories.  Oh and alcohol.  Lots of alcohol.

Oh and Conan.  Because Conan is supposed to be here in January!!

February

The Bears winning the Super Bowl.  :)

March

My baby boy turning 3.  THREE YEARS OLD.  You read that right.  I will have a three year old in March.  I cannot even begin to wrap my head around THAT.

The beginning of Spring.  Hopefully.  It's Chicago.  You never know.

April

Easter.  Not because I'm religious, but because it will be the first major holiday gathering at my husband's grandmothers since the holidays.  And I love the family I married into.

Grilling!! This is usually when we start grilling on a regular basis.  And I love me some BBQ.

May

Our off-roading trip to Arkansas.

Mother's Day (which may or may not be a little sad, considering the very real possibility it will be my first without my mom).

The beginning of good weather (most likely, it's STILL Chicago).

June

Summer time.  Playing outside till 8 at night, long days, rolling around in the grass, playing at the park, going to the zoo.

Cocktails outside in the backyard after the kids go to bed.

July

The 4th. Celebrating with the family.

The heart of summer.  Days in the pool, the sprinkler.  Being outside even though its 95 degrees because dammit, my kids want to play in their kiddie pool.

August

Celebrating seven years with my husband (not married, just together).

Enjoying the remainder of summer with hopefully a little bit cooler of weather.

September

The start of football.

Fall.

My birthday.

Our vacation to the east coast.

October

REAL FALL.

Our annual off road trip.

My baby girl turning TWO.  She just turned one, she can't turn TWO!!

My husband's birthday.

Halloween, and trick or treating and seeing my kids in their costumes.

November

Our 5th wedding anniversary.

Thanksgiving.   Turkey.  Food.  Lots of it.

December

The holiday season.

St. Nick's day.

Christmas and everything that goes with it.  It's the most magical time of the year, especially when you have two beautiful, amazing, wonderful kids to share it with.

I'm looking forward to a fresh start in 2012.  I'm looking forward to good times, happy times, fun times outweighing the bad and sad.  Here's to you, 2012.



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Ack, I just adore that photo of Maggie and her brother PJ! : )

I implore you all to please visit Lisa's blog to get to know her a little better and get a better understanding for why I think she's one of the strongest women I know; please follow her blog to show some support (she may be strong, but we all need support in horrifically trying times in any way we can get!); and please...PLEASE keep her and her family in your thoughts this season as her mother literally loses her life to one of the most cruel, most disgusting, appalling diseases I've ever heard of- ALS.

Lisa, I love you and am honored to call you my friend.

come play with me!

We’re days away from Thanksgiving… A little more than a month away from Christmas. That means a new year is right around the corner. 

Can you see it?

Twenty twelve is a coming. And quickly!

What are you looking forward to in 2012?

What is something you’re taking from 2011 and tucking in your memory pocket for later?

I want to know. And I want you to share it on my blog.

I’d be honored!

If you’re interested in doing a Guest Blog spot here on finallyMom (I know, it's the moment you've been waiting for your whole blogging life), I’d love to have you, and I’d love to shout it from the Facebook and Twitter rooftops that you’re visiting, too.

I’m in if you are!

So come on!  Come play with me!