July 28, 2011

Keep breathing

2.) Amy Winehouse died. Another name amidst a growing list of talented celebrities lost to addiction. Your reaction.

Dear Lovie,

I’m writing this to you in the hopes that one day in the future, you can have something to look back onto that will let you see how incredibly wonderful you are and how you are my absolute everything.  I’m not sure how I breathed before you came along, but I can now say with confidence that I’m so incredibly grateful that I’ve continued breathing for as long as I have. And I pray every single day that I get to continue breathing for as long as possible so that I continue to be here right by your side with every new milestone you reach, every adventure you take.

I also pray every single day that you will not end up like Amy Winehouse or the swarm of others who stop breathing early in life.

By the time you read this, the name Amy Winehouse probably won’t mean much (not like Elvis or Jim Morrison or Kurt Cobain do today- years and years after their passing).  See Amy Winehouse passed away several days ago at the very young age of 27. And while lots and lots of people die each and every day, the reason her name is mentioned and newsworthy is because Amy Winehouse was known for some pretty awesome songs and singing, as well as for her incredible submersion into drugs and alcohol. She was so immersed in drugs and alcohol that I’m guessing some people were surprised that she was still alive when they heard of her passing!  I’m not making fun of her death, my sweet girl; I’m just trying to explain to a much older you how drastically bad Amy’s life seemed to just about anyone (I imagine) who ever heard of her.  

When she first became more mainstream popular with her music, a couple years after her first album in 2003, she was noted for her strong voice and edgy tunes. She looked healthy, too. And then, just like that, her appearance changed drastically. She went from being of an average sized girl to a super thin shell of a woman who just looked ill at all times. Very ill. Like a walking skeleton at times.

via google images
It was actually pretty sad to see and some people started wondering when she would die.

And it was all a result of the drugs and alcohol.

She was in too deep.

Maybe she thought she wouldn’t be one of the ones to get sucked in as fiercely as she did. Maybe she started the drugs because of peer pressure. I haven’t a clue what happened but I do know the whole situation, and hearing of her death, was incredibly sad to me.

It doesn’t matter that she was a rock star and was known around the world. That's not what makes the story sad to me. It’s the fact that at 27 years old she died. It’s the fact that she got sucked into a black hole of drugs and alcohol because something inside of her couldn’t fight the demons in her head. It’s the fact that she couldn’t find the strength to Just Say No to the drugs and alcohol in the first place. That’s what is so sad to me.

Parents aren’t supposed to watch their children die.

She was 27 years old. An age that seems old to you now at nearly 19 months old and probably still in 10 years, but sincerely is not old. Not at all. She had her whole life in front of her! I mean, when I was 27, I hadn’t even met your daddy yet!

So I pray today and every day that you, my sweet baby girl, find the peace within to overcome the obstacles that will come your way. (As much as I want to protect you and shield you from some of life’s ugliness, it’s impossible for me to do so.) I pray that you will always believe in the love that your dad and I have for you and pray that it will help carry you through your life. I pray that your life is a very long one full of much peace and happiness.  And I pray you learn to love yourself the way we love you, because that love will give you the strength to be the best you possible and live life to the fullest.

Just keep breathing, sweet baby girl. Keep breathing.



  1. Such a sweet letter to your little girl...I love that last line, "just keep breathing, sweet baby girl.."

  2. thanks for stopping by, guys! :)

  3. What a wonderful prayer for your little one. I feel your mommy heart beat!

  4. Very touching thought to communicate to your baby. Loving yourself is key isn't it?

  5. I hope Lovie reads and appreciates this as she's making life decisions. And I hope she knows how much love with which it was written.

  6. Parenting can be the most rewarding experience but also the scariest. I worry every day about my little ones and their teen years and their only 9,6, and 2.

  7. Christina, I truly, truly hope you give this to her.

  8. i truly do tend on giving this letter to her one day... maybe it will help her get through those godawful (for me anyway) teen years?? i can hope.

    thanks for reading everyone :)


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