April 30, 2013

a reminder of sorts to get the time capsule out of storage


We lived in the upper level of a blue Victorian home. My big brother Marco* had the smallest bedroom, allowing room for only his full size bed and a small dresser tucked inside a tiny closet. My nephew Jordan* had the bedroom through the kitchen and the bathroom. Literally, the only way into Jordan’s bedroom was through both the kitchen and bathroom. Pretty strange set up but Jordan was six at the time so it didn’t faze him too much. I got the biggest bedroom with a huge walk-in closet and large windows overlooking the neighboring white church.

It was our second apartment together since Marco divorced Jordan’s mom two years prior, and I got the big bedroom because I was paying part of the rent and taking care of Jordan while Marco worked the overnight shift.

My life was all about Jordan and Marco. Especially Jordan. I wanted to do whatever I could to provide him normalcy after his parents split. It was something I promised I would do after my own parents split 18 years prior. I was working a “going nowhere fast” job and playing Mom when I was home.

Basically, I was a 26-year-old single girl with no life outside of her 6-year-old nephew.

Around the holidays I did everything I could to make them special for Jordan. For his birthday, I made sure to always be present to celebrate. When he had field trips or some sort of school event that allowed for parent interaction, I was always there. Every soccer game, home or away, I was there. Every time he came home from a visit with him mom, I was always there.   

And I did it all because of his love. His spirit. His innocence.

I would come home after a shit day at a shit job and all I would want to do is crawl into the dark closet with a blanket and a pint of chocolate-peanut butter ice cream. I’d salivate thinking about my lover (ice cream) during the long drive from work to home. Parking my car next to Marco’s, I knew that he and Jordan were inside and I knew, pretty instantly, my lover would have to wait. I’d go into the house and as I closed the door and hung up my coat wanting to be somewhere else hanging up my coat, I’d hear the scampering of feet across the living room floor upstairs. Jordan would rush toward the hallway and top of the stairs, shouting “Auntie Chris!” with so much glee.

I’d smile. Always.

I’d climb the stairs and upon getting to the top, Jordan would leap into my arms and we’d hug.

And every time this happened, I knew it was all worth it. My lack of a personal life, of friendships and/or romance was worth it. Because this boy, this sweet growing boy was happy. In a time when he could be miserable because of the games his parents played, he was happy.

And he made me happy.

And he soon became the reason I wanted to become a Mom with such a fever it burned inside of me for the next 10 years.

Jordan and Lovie, 4/1/13

 
Tomorrow that boy will be 21.

And despite a pretty crappy hand in life dealt to him, the boy man is still pretty happy and manages to make me and mine happy, too.
 
 
 
 
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*Marco & Jordan are not their real names. 
 
 

20 comments:

  1. Yay for you and for ice cream and for Jordan and for the closet and for turning out ok. Happy post.

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  2. That is such a great story. Nieces and nephews have such a special place in their Aunt's hearts. I never believed it until I felt it myself.

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    1. ooh yes. I used to call them "my kids" (I didn't become a mom till I was 37). i think it's why it pains me so much that my Lovie has such a non-existent relationship with my siblings, but that's on them.

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  3. oh, a tear!! for young you and jordan!! and a smile for ice cream, that cheatin bastard, he better get back here tonight. happy birthday to him!! :)

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    1. hehehe you know i ALWAYS think of you whenever i think of ice cream.

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  4. The ONLY ice cream I'll eat in peanut butter and chocolate. This is a great story of your unique relationship with your nephew.

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    1. thanks Robbie. you've got great taste in ice cream. :)

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  5. This is really neat--what you gave to him is an amazing gift!

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    1. awww well thanks for that. but, really, HE'S the gift.

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  6. Christina - thank you. While I don't like hearing the sad part, I'm glad at the end it gave you happiness looking after the baby and see he is a good man.

    I love stories like this one and I will always support as much as I can.

    Thank you for all the love given.

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  7. This is so sweet. I have a niece and a nephew that I love as much as if they were my very own kids, so I understand these feelings. Jordan and Lovie are so lucky to have you, and I just love that she is growing up with him just like he grew up with you.

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    1. oooh MAN does she adore the shit out of him, too. it's adorable to watch them both. :)

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  8. This was wonderful. You had a hand in making that boy into a man. Such is love.

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  9. How awesome is that. To know you were a part of making that boy into a man to be proud of?

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  10. I'm so glad that he had you to love on him and that you loved doing it, too. How awesome!

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