December 29, 2012

three years ago at 1:20 in the morning

(taken from my journal written 12/30/2009)

-shortly after midnight the decision for a c-section had been made and I was to "relax" until the anesthesiologist was ready to hook me up. I was absolutely miserable - very warm and very anxious. The more time they let me sit there and wait, the more I started to worry that something would go wrong. At this point it had been 16 hours since I could last feel my legs or anything and now they were about to make it so I couldn't feel my stomach either. I was drop dead tired and pissed off, to be frank. I feared that I would miss the birth of my baby because the whole thing had taken so long!

-about 12:30am, they finally wheel me away into the sterile surgery room and hook me up like Jesus onto a flat table. Drugs were being IV'd into me and soon I went from sweating to shivering.
For some reason I thought the surgery wouldn't take too long but it did and I tried so hard to stay awake. I was so tired though - and scared. DH sat by my side the whole time trying to make me smile. Finally after a near hour or so of laying there (or so it seemed in my head) with a big sheet hovering over me, people started to move about, peaking over the curtain and telling me that I'll feel some pressure but no pain, etc. Different voices saying different things. Pressure on one side and another. "It's going to feel like someone is sitting on your chest now," was one of the statements told to me.

-at 1:20AM I felt a tug and heard excitement in the various voices as the narrator of the event, the anaesthesiologist, told me they pulled her out. And she cried and screamed and ... my sweet Lovie was born unto us.
I had to lay there with the curtain enveloping me, while daddy was able to go see Lovie... and I later learned it was the most awesome experience for him - to meet his baby girl for the first time. Shortly after he met her, a nurse brought her over to me to see and my eyes met the most beautiful thing I have ever in my life seen.

My Lovie

Born December 29, 2009
7 lbs 12 oz
20 inches long



  1. What a lovely memory of that birth of your Lovie! Happy third birthday to your little girl!

  2. for a minute i thought she was born on my b-day-the 28th-you, like my daughter, have yoour precious daughter and all the crap and pain and sadness at not having a ":regular" delivery are worth that precious little girl-happy b-day, lLovie


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