Randoms

* Last night whilst the three of us were eating dinner and Lovie chatted away between demanding more ketchup for her french fries (quit judging: she eats vegetables by the bowl full, too!), I decided to count the words in her sentences and it dawned on me: this little chica speaks in full sentences! Not all the time, nothing consistent, but wow. "Look, there's Little Cat under the chair." "Come on Little Cat, let's go watch TV."

* At her 2 year doctor visit, the pediatrician told us that the Terrible Two's would be full of fun times, but also some trying times, too. He mentioned that she may get more needy. And, of course, he also told us how fortunate we were that Lovie loves vegetables but that we shouldn't be surprised in the least if that changes soon. That visit was last Tuesday. Every day since that last visit, Lovie's been fighting me during school drop-offs- something she's never really done before. She's not wanting to take off her coat and hat, she's screaming for me not to leave and tries breaking free from the teachers hold. Lovie started going to this center at 9 weeks old. She knows and loves the teachers and her friends there. We've changed nothing in our routine. Nothing. I brought this up to some other mama's and several of them commented that their 2 year olds behaved in the same manner right around the time they turned 2. GO FIGURE! I guess my Pedi knows what he's talking about after all, huh? Although I'm really hoping Lovie continues to be the oddball with her love of vegetables. I'll continue to show her some extra lovin' when we get home at night (I'm loving the snuggles on the couch as we watch Kai Lan) and hope this drop-off hate passes soon.

* I'm doing a 10 on 10 today: 10 photos every hour for 10 hours on the 10th day of the month. I started at 9:30am and while I've only taken two photos (will post tomorrow), some things have become crystal clear: work is sloooooow. Ugh. I know I'll get slammed soon so I'm trying to just enjoy the slow pace right now but ... yikes, it's kinda scary how slow things are for me lately.

Party recap

Lovie's 2nd birthday party was Saturday and it was a blast. Better than anticipated, really. Absolutely no regrets for doing this. Sure she's still very young and won't remember this party, but she'll have pictures and some video to help remind her. And she had the time of her young life (and we had very little set up and clean up to do!).

Look at that smile!

When we first arrived, she didn't really think much of it. We were just at Gymnastics (as she calls it). But then her first little friend from school came and she started getting super excited as she wanted to show her friend around.

notice her shirt? it's a big 2 with Team Umizoomi characters on it- matching her invite

They jumped on the trampoline. They dove into the ball pit. The ran around squealing and giggling.

After a bunch more people started to arrive, the teachers gathered everyone around a large circle and sang Happy Birthday to my Lovie who sat with a big grin on her face. Then they brought out a huge parachute and laid it down for everyone to grab a hold of and start to shake. And sing Happy Birthday. Then Lovie laid down on top of the parachute and everybody shook her back and forth. Then others joined in.

They played with puppets. One of the teachers hid a bunch of small toys around the place so they had to run around and collect them and bring them back. They brought out a buttload of pom poms for the kids to play with.

They hooked up a huge swing that all the kids were able to sit on and ride. (This was funny to watch because all the parents grabbed their cameras to take photos.)

They built a fort and played hide and seek (Lovie hid by covering her eyes with her hands- *cutest thing ever*) for a couple of minutes before hiding Lovie in the back room for everyone to find.  After a minute, they directed everyone to the front of the gym to wait as they brought Lovie out in a car.

And it was the cutest 30 seconds of her life. I swear to god. She was smiling from ear to ear as one of the teachers wheeled her out in circles while everyone clapped and the Beatles Birthday song played in the background.

Then the teacher got her out of the car and brought her to the cake (Team Umizoomified with little toppers I DIY'd), lit the candles, we all sang and she blew out her candles.

The kids ate pizza and cake and went back out to play for another 10-15 minutes.

The party ended with another sock puppet show followed by bubbles. Lots of bubbles (they brought out a fan and huge thing of bubbles they placed in front of the fan causing all these little kids to try to pop all the bubbles).

After the last bubble was popped, the teachers announced that all the kids needed to get their socks and shoes on so they could get a goodie bag. The party was over but hopefully not forgotten for a while.

Nearly two hours of smiles, giggles, laughter erupting from all corners of the room. It was pure fun, fun, fun.

I'm pretty darn sure we'll be doing this again in another year, too. Yahoo for winter birthdays keeping us indoors!

Bounce this.

Because it's clear that you've been on the edge of your seat waiting for this post, without further ado, I present to you, dear reader, the top 3 viewed posts from 2011 (according to the Stats tab):

1. With the most page views (no friggin clue why), here's #1.
2. Coming in second place (not really too shocking given the title), here's #2.
3. And bringing up the rear (also not too surprising since I linked it in the comments of a larger viewed blog), here's #3.

None have a thing to do with Lovie. Meh, your loss not mine.

And for more fun, let's take a look at the top three Search Keywords that made you click over:

1.  bouncing boobs
2. i don't have pms
3. monchichi

everybody craaaazy shake!

Tomorrow. Her party is finally tomorrow! : )

I designed the invites myself. Not too shabby, eh? Well I don't think they are (I mean did you see I got a photo of Lovie inside of Bot's belly-screen?!??). I think they're damn cute, tyvm!

Because I blurred it all out, the party is going to be (for little kids) at a little kid gym place...The place Lovie's been going to since October for her "Gymnastics." She loves this place. Loves it. So it was really fitting to have the party here. And the price really couldn't be beat- especially considering we don't have to worry about doing any kind of set up, clean up, entertaining, etc. Nope. We just show up with a cake. Play. Pizza will be delivered at 3:30 (party starts at 3). We'll eat pizza and have cake- after singing Happy Birthday to my girl, of course. Then it's back to play play play!

My header at the top of the blog? That's from the last time we were at Gymnastics. They have a ball pit which Lovie adores. Ack, she's going to have SO much fun. She always does but once she realizes that everyone is there for HER... eek! :) I can't wait to see her reaction.

I'm a bit nervous because every single person RSVP'd that the were coming except for a small handful of people so we're going to be at the max the place allows! And then there's the chance that some additional child(ren) will show up as my husband's family kind of does their own thing.

I can't worry about any of that, though; we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

My main focus is Lovie having a blast... and somehow, someway getting some pictures of it all to help us remember. We can only do what we can do and the H and I have already discussed that we would swap taking pictures and playing whenever we could.  So fingers crossed we get some decent photos (I'd love to have a group shot of *all* kids but not sure how/if that could work with 20 kids.)

Eek, this is gonna be so much fun!!

• After work today, I pick up the cake (just a generic one from Costco... I made Millie, Geo, and Bot characters to stick into the cake. Was hoping to keep the cake in the car overnight but our temps are supposed to be in the 50s today!).
• Bottled water and juice boxes are in the hallway at home.
• Little goody bags assembled and ready to go (with a Team Umizoomi sticker- that I made- on them)!
• Pizza to be delivered at 3:30.
• Paper plates, napkins, plastic forks, candles all in a bag ready to go, too.
• Team Umizoomi "2" shirt ready to be worn by the birthday girl.

This is gonna be soooo much fun.

And then on Sunday, we get to go to a 1 year old's pizza party! So it's definitely going to be a busy weekend. How about you?

the great escape

(to lighten things up)

she tried, at least.

never got free though.

not yet.

and NO, we're not looking into a Big Girl bed, tyvm!

This is one of those things that I do NOT want to know.

My heart aches right now.

In the cubicle across from me sits a woman, around 62. She's a wife, a mother, a grandmother. And she's a survivor of suicide.

Her youngest son killed himself on this date, 22 years ago.

How do you get past something like that? Why does something like that even happen in this world? But it does. All the time.

When I was 15, suicidal thoughts entered my mind a lot. I sincerely hated life and just didn't understand what the point was to continue on. But every time I put more thought into it, I always thought of my nephew (only had one at the time) and my parents. As much as my parents pissed me off, how would they feel if I killed myself? And my nephew, then 2, how would he feel? Would he someday wonder if it was his fault that I killed myself?

So I never went through with it.

Obviously.

Thankfully.

Plenty of people do, though. Plenty of people don't think there's any hope left. Plenty of people are so submerged in the dark that they can't see any more glimmer of light to hang on.

So they end the pain and suffering.

And they leave their survivors to wonder so many things, to feel so many horrendous things.

My coworker, she has another son who is my age. I imagine she had to go on for him??

Ack, my heart just aches right now for her. I just don't understand how this kind of pain, this kind of heartache can even exist. It's just cruel.

Come Play with Me: 5

It's my Monday today, but it's really Wednesday. Super cool. Something else that's cool is that I have another edition of Come Play with Me Guest Post series and today's piece is written by one of my favorite bloggers and friend, Monica from Peeper Summarized. I swear to you, every time I click into her blog, I end up in tears in one way or the other because her writing is that touching, that moving, that emotional, that beautiful. And her love of motherhood is sooo inspiring.

 

Anyhow, let's get on with Monica's take on 2012...

 

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When Christina asked who might like to write a little somethin' about what they learned this year or what they were looking forward to for next year I shot her an email right away. Duh! Of course! I could knock this out in a heartbeat. New Years is my thing.

It's not the Auld Lange Syne, party horns and champagne aspect of the new year that I love so much. It's the fresh start. Who doesn't love the opportunity to turn over a new leaf? Granted, this is a completely made-up time point and on January 1 none of us wakes up fundamentally any different than we were when we fell asleep on December 31. But possibility towers over every failed attempt and discouragement in our past. We get reacquainted with the idea of our own potential and that is what I love.

So imagine how stymied I was to sit down day after day and find that I wasn't inspired to write ANYTHING. There's been plenty going on so that wasn't the problem. Or maybe it was the problem: too busy to reflect about the past and future. For the past few years a theme or mantra, if you will, for the coming year just finds me. This isn't something that I have to consciously think about - something rich just filters out of all the reflection that seems to occur so naturally around this time of year. Usually, the theme/mantra/battle cry is something absolutely revolutionary to me. It drives the coming year in a way that New Years resolutions just can't do.

For example, in 2010 I was overwhelmed with gratitude. All I could think about as the new year rang in was how grateful I was that me, my daughter and my husband were alive and healthy.

In 2011 there was a lot of work to be done: history was waiting to be written. I had a necklace made with this exact phrase printed on it. I wore that necklace every time I anticipated a difficult day or any time I needed to be reminded that with every passing moment I was in control of which part of me would show up  - and I wanted it to be good.

This year we did all that work and the reward for it is that in the coming year nearly everything we know is going to change. For a control freak like me, this is disquieting at best and paralyzing at worst. Even good changes are still changes ... but that makes for one crappy mantra.

Tonight after Ada was in bed I lay covered up on the couch thinking about all the stuff I should be doing. Early pregnancy fatigue has settled in heavily and I'm dragging myself around to get the bare minimum basics taken care of - it's a miracle if I stay up much past 9:30. Laziness has it's silver lining though. In the middle of all that stillness a little voice in my head said something and it all clicked. Angels sang, clouds parted and I knew what 2012 would be all about for me. The little voice that represents the steadier side of me whispered confidently:

"You are exactly where you are meant to be."

Some people have known this their whole lives but this was a freaking revelation for me! From Buddhist reading I know, like, in-my-head-know-it, that this is what a good buddha should strive to know. But knowing it in your thoughts and really knowing it in your soul are such completely different things. This isn't the kind of thing that you can try to know either - your life experience just has to bring it to you. Once you realize it though... Click! you really know it. And my God, that is one incredibly freeing thing to realize. The guilt and angst of always feeling the need to be somewhere else doing something else has vanished. What an amazing gift.

It's OK to have been wherever you were - it was the right thing then.
It's OK to be headed somewhere intentionally - that's how we create our lives.
But it's also OK to be right where you are right now.
This is exactly where you are meant to be.

Turns out that there is a sweet prayer attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux that sums it all up so nicely:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Happy New Year to all and may you find your battle cry for 2012!

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See what I mean? Does she not have a way with words?! 

 

Please go on over to Peeper Summarized and check out more about Monica and her family and become as infatuated with her place (blog) as I am! I dare you NOT to.

 

Thanks for playing, Monica! : )

Changing perfection

Two years ago I had a 5 DAY old baby.

I had cried so many times- happy tears and HOLYOMGWHATTHEHELLISHAPPENINGHEREANDWHYWON'TSHESTOPCRYING tears- I lost count.

Two years ago today, my baby doll looked like this:

Perfection. Absolute perfection.

But I was starving her and that's why she was so unhappy. I remember commenting to my husband how everyone said and everything I read said that babies sleep so much the first couple weeks. Not my baby. My baby wasn't happy those first several days home. At all. She never slept more than a couple hours at a time that first week. She was up crying way more than she was sleeping.

Then we went to her first pediatrician appointment and the doctor talked to us at length about my nursing. We returned for a second visit two days after the first visit. My baby was losing weight instead of gaining weight.

My baby was starving.

And it was my fault.

Again the doctor talked to us at length. He even asked that I nurse in front of him. I was mortified in my head over this fact but I didn't let that stop me from making sure my baby was fed properly. So I whipped out my gigantic boob and started feeding my girl who latched on wonderfully (always did from the get go).

He suggested we keep nursing and start supplementing because he had a feeling either I wasn't producing enough milk or my girl was just a hungry one.

So we returned two days later for our third appointment in one week.

Finally she gained weight. Finally she was sleeping more. Finally she stopped crying so dang much. Finally she wasn't starving anymore.

I continued to nurse and supplement. I pumped after every feeding and never got more than one ounces (after ONE FULL HOUR of pumping).

Finally, a week before returning to work when Lovie was 8 weeks old, I stopped nursing and pumping and just gave her formula. It was a decision made with a heavy heart as breastfeeding was the only plan I ever had. But a decision I was almost immediately grateful for having made as soon as I did because I was finally able to spend some time with my girl one on one. And not one on one plus a breast pump.

Anyway... two years later and I have a 26.5 pound, 35 inches tall little girl.

My how things change.

But she's still perfection. Absolute perfection.

2

New Year, New Toys!

Since Lovie's birthday falls a mere 4 days after Christmas and days just before the new year, she'll always have a bunch of NEW stuff to ring in the New Year.

Big 2012 hits include...


The Shopping Cart (Christmas gift from Grandpa)

yes those are balloons- leftover from her balloon birthday bash we created for her on Thursday.

The Laptop Computer (Bday gift from Gma and Gpa)

this thing annoys me. really. she turns it on and then it talks and repeats the same damn things over and over again. and she has no clue how to operate it so it just repeats over and over again until it shuts down. i'm glad she likes it and i'm sure once she learns how to work it better she'll like it even more, but in the meantime... argh.

The Jack in the box and Spinning top (from Santa)

The drum (Bday gift from mama and daddy)

Anything crayon/coloring related (Bday gift from mama and daddy)

i actually had to hide this already. it's a small, portable easel with paper on one side and a dry erase board on the other. 

the dry erase side is with CRAYONS that work on the board or paper. 

it's very cool but it gets old having to wipe it clean every 20 seconds.

(not pictured are these animal crayons and huge thing of paper my cousin gave her for her Bday)

The Kitchen (Christmas gift from mama and daddy- this got 2 hours of non stop play on Christmas day but hasn't been touched much since... except for the phone, she's constantly looking for the phone)

 

Puzzles (from Santa)

 Baby doll bed (Christmas gift from Grandma)

That's about it. She got a couple other things (like a sit and spin, an Ernie doll, etc) that she likes just fine, too. But she didn't get inundated with merchandise. Thankfully. That said, we do still have her kid birthday party for her in six days so I'm not really sure what that will leave us with. I really and truly hope that people limit their gifts to crayons or something small if they get anything at all. We're just looking forward to getting all the littles together to play (being held at a little kid gym)!

What kind of loot are you looking forward to playing with this year?