I'M GONNA MISS HIM

This morning was a bit rough: Lovie kind of lost her shit when it was time to go to school.

"I want daddy to take me!"

"Honey, you have to let us know beforehand that's what you want so daddy can arrange for that to happen."

"I want daddy to take me!"

"Daddy can you take her?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't today."

"NOOOOO I WANT DADDY TO TAKE ME!"

This went on for several minutes. Tears flooded her face. She started to smack her hand down to emphasize that she was being serious (I guess). She was so very unhappy. And all I could do was look at the clock and get warmer and warmer because I detest running late and when I get anxious or angry or breathe, I get warm these days.

"Honey, daddy can take you another day, right daddy?"

"NOOOOO I WANT DADDY TO TAKE ME NOW!"

"I know that's what you want but we can't always get what we want." (ugh, I hated when my mother, brother or sister would say this to me... at least I didn't say, How does it feel to want? the way my asshat brother use to.)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"It's time to go."

"I DON'T WANNA!"

She just cried and wiggled herself against her dad who lay on the bed. And anytime we tried touching her or saying something, she'd just freak out even more. Finally it got to the point where if we didn't leave at that moment, I'd be very late so I just walked out of the room saying goodbye.

I know that's horrible, but it was that or scream.

Twenty seconds later I could hear the bedroom door open and I walked toward it and there Lovie stood, hand on the knob, sobbing. I got down to her level and calmly got close to her and gave her a hug and told her that I was so sorry she was so sad and upset. I told her daddy really wanted to take her but he had to do some work before going to work. I scooped her into my arms and held her tight for a minute. She just sobbed. She wasn't angry or yelling anymore. She was just... sad.

And boy did that make me sad.

I took her to the bathroom so she could go potty and that's where she revealed, "But I'm gonna miss him."

My heart just about split in half.

"Oh baby," I said. "It's okay to miss daddy, he's gonna miss you too. I bet he misses you already. But you still have to go to school, he still has to go to work."

"But I'm gonna miss him."

The tears dropped into the palms of her hands on her lap.

"Sweetheart, let's go give him big hugs and kisses and then you can tell him that you'll miss him."

So we did just that. And she burrowed her head into him and they hugged and hugged and he told her how he was going to spend a lot of extra time with her tonight when he got home.

And that was that. She was fine. She stood up and jumped into my arms like she always does in the morning and off we went to get our coats on and leave.