girl.

I wasn’t supposed to be a mom to a girl.

I wasn’t really supposed to be a mom at all, actually.

But.

Not a day goes by that I’m not eternally grateful that not only am I a mom, but I’m a mom to a girl. 

When I found out Lovie was a girl, I honestly was a little disappointed. Not a lot. Not even enough to mention, truthfully; but if I’m honest, I would have to reveal that yes, there was a tinge of disappointment that she would not be a he. It’s just that, in the moment the ultrasound tech told us “it was a girl”, I had this vomit-inducing image of all kinds of pink crap. And high-pitched squeals. And dresses, painted nails, Barbie dolls, etc.

Like I said it was sincerely a fleeting moment that was over as soon as I realized that my baby was HEALTHY and that I was going to finally become a mom.

The first year of Lovie’s life was great. I mean, it’s always been great. Of course, there are always moments when it’s exhausting or whatnot but overall, being Lovie’s mom is the absolute greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world having her as my child. And during that first year of her life when she wasn’t able talk much or have opinions of her own, it wasn’t too difficult to avoid the pink invasion I fretted over when I first learned she’d be a Girl.

Then she turned one.

And she got gifted her very first baby doll, which she toted around for months.

And it was the sweetest thing I had ever in all my life seen: My sweet little baby doll loving on her very own baby doll.

Soon it became clear that no matter how neutral we made Lovie’s surroundings, clothes, toys… she was all girl.

She is all girl.

My Lovie is absolutely every single thing I envisioned the moment I found out she was a girl.

Thank God.

under the stars and moon

The other day Lovie asked for help on her journal. Our journal. She asked me how to spell some words, how to write the date. She asked for suggestions on what else to write after she completed the first part: 

I love you Mama. 

I love you under the stars and moon.

Other than help her spell You and Under (and that there's an E at the end of Love), she did the rest. (The date in the upper right hand corner is my writing--I was writing upside down, which isn't so easy.)

After she was done writing and drawing pictures of the moon and stars, she asked what else she should write.

I suggested she draw a picture.

She then drew me (left) and her (center), then drew Daddy (right).

Originally she drew us without feet so when I asked about our feet, she added them-- including the toes, which made me chuckle as she deliberately counted out five toes for each of us. : )

I'm so glad I decided to do this journal.

let's talk about ssss

...school. SCHOOL. 

Let’s talk about SCHOOL (I know there are some dirty birds out there who thought of a different word starting with the letter S, thanks to a certain super early 1990’s hit by Salt-n-Pepa), baby.

Lovie started the official school year on Tuesday. I say official because she’s been attending this (Montessori) school since early July, but she was in their summer programs which was much more relaxed than the regular school year. Purportedly.

I tried making a bigger deal out of the new school year than it was. Even Lovie was like, “I’m going to another new school?!”

No, kid. You just have a few days off (end of last week), then you start the new school year at the same school in a different class.

“Kindergarten!”

Nope. You’re too young still.

“But you said I’d be going to Kindergarten!”

I was wrong. I thought you were, but because your birthday is so late, you can’t.

“That’s not fair, I wanna go to Kindergarten!”

I want you to, too. And you will. Just not this year.

“But I’m not a napper anymore! And I’m not a baby so why do I have to go with the babies?”

You’re not going in with the babies, there will be others your age and some a year or two younger, but they’re not babies.

“They don’t know anything so they’re babies!”

This is your time to help them learn, honey. You’ll be able to show others how to do things and they’ll be so grateful for your help.

Inside, I was a bit pissed truth be told. We were emailed that children turning five before the end of the year had the option to go into Kindergarten or stay in preschool. At first I thought maybe we would be rushing it if we chose Kindergarten but the fact is that she spent the summer with all the “older kids” anyway. She was already doing all the work the Kindergarteners would be doing come Tuesday. So Taye and I were in agreement to go ahead and put her into Kindergarten. We even were sent a supply list of items for her to bring along on her first day of Kindergarten.

Then a week later, as I’m standing in the playground adjacent to the school building in which they play, waiting for Lovie to play a “few more minutes”, the head of the school comes to me and tells me that Lovie will be starting in Preschool because of her late birthday and because of the state law. Yes, I get the law business and all, but why tell us we have the option a couple weeks prior? (The school communicates primarily via email newsletter so I know the answer.) She went on to say that if Lovie had been attending their school for a year or more (opposed to the daycare/preschool she was in) instead of just two months, we would’ve had the option to put her into Kindergarten.

So, long story short: 

Lovie started the (pre)school year on Tuesday. And honestly, even though all her friends she made over the summer are in the other, older classroom, she still couldn’t be happier.

She’s still all smiles. Every single day.

She wasn’t a miserable child prior to Montessori, but honest to god, she’s a changed child since starting Montessori. She’s always smiling. She’s always happy. She’s always helpful. She’s always kind.

Yes, she has her 4-and-half-going-on-14-and-a-half-year-old moments, but it’s truly mind boggling to me how happy she generally is.

Kindergarten or not, Montessori is definitely the right path for Lovie. I feel so lucky to have discovered this path and blessed to be able to take the adventure alongside her.