TILTW: 11.3-9

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Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away...cray cray!
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S is for ... Sssssmartie-pants.

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Voting with a tot in tow is awesome.
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I still have no idea what to get my husband for his birthday in 10 days.
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I do, however, know what I want for Christmas and think this is just soooo bad ass!!
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Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away!

Celebrity Crushes: the Listicle

Here I go showing my age again with a list of my very first celebrity crushes (that I can recall). I can tell you, hands down, who was the first crush (Nicholas on Eight is Enough) but after that, I'm not certain of the order. And yes, there's even a female on my list (I mean, how could I not include badass Jo from Facts of Life?! She was super cool, drove a motorcycle, didn't wear dresses, and wanted to beat the shit out of snobarrific Blair! What's not to love?):

(is that not an adorable photo of Bryan?!)

Dear Bryan Adams,

I can't even believe that I'm about to write what I'm about to write: I skipped out on the show last night.

: (

Big whoop, right? I mean, what do you care? You don't know me so no love lost; I'm sure you still went on and rocked the Chicago Theatre and all your fans in attendance just fine. I just so happened not to be one of them.

And for me, that sucks. Hard.

I love you, man. I love seeing you live because I love seeing your passion come to life right in front of my eyes. It's infectious- the love you have for your music. Hell, even my black husband (not that black folk can't enjoy your music; we just always joke around that you spot him at the shows because he's easy to spot in a sea of white folk, heh) likes you and respects you after I've dragged him to several concerts. The last one we went to was back in May 2009 and it was by far, the most amazing show I've seen from you because it was just you, your voice, your guitar, and a piano player.  It was the way music was meant to be heard live, I feel. Not to be too corny here, but it was like being in Heaven for me seeing you live, raw, and so intimate.  Yup, that show was back when I was a couple months pregnant with the love of my life who, by the way, is part of the reason I missed the show last night.

She's been a little feverish and super clingy. And that means Mama (that's me) has to rock her to sleep. I mean, of course I don't have to rock her to sleep but she seems to love it (when she's sick) as do I, so I gotta take advantage of the cuddles while I can. Cuz she's 2 and you'll see when your little Mirabella Bunny is 2 how 2 year olds roll. They're these little firecrackers. Hehe, so friggin much fun to be around, but they can be tiring, too. And look out if they don't get their way. So when you can grab snuggles from them, you do. And that's what I've been doing the past couple days.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your time in Chicago and I hope the fans treated you right so that you come back again soon... and hopefully you left last night cuz it's damn cold this morning.

Cheers,

christina

oh hey.

things have been busy.

friday we were late getting started due to the snow from thursday night- and that sorta put things in a funk for me around here.

saturday we went to gymnastics, came home to nap, then headed over to my cousin's house to play for a bit. they forgot about Lovie's birthday party on the 7th (thought it was the 8th), so they felt super bad and begged us to come over. and Lovie got a couple more presents to open. so she's been opening gifts every single weekend since Christmas. it was no surprise that when we visited my dad yesterday (was off for MLK day), she asked to open presents. heh.

sunday we stayed home. Lovie played a bit, watched some TV, took a 3.5 hour nap; we did laundry, cooked, more laundry.

yesterday Lovie and i went to visit my dad for a bit. he's on our cell phone package and needed a new one so we headed over to the store after throwing some snow balls around. then we stopped for hot dogs and Lovie and i headed home as she did nothing but run around the AT&T store the entire time we were there (probably close to an hour) and was, therefore, ass tired. she woke after the 20 minute drive home and even though i laid her down in her crib and she stayed in there for another hour or so, she never napped- just talked and played with her dolls. as a result, i ended up putting her to bed an hour early and she didn't fuss. instead, she laid on me as i rocked her to sleep as i softly sung to her. it was so magical- rocking my girl to sleep, watching her eyes slowly close. peace filled the room and my heart. tears streamed out of my eyes. i'm immensely blessed.

today Lovie's still at home. she was warm last night and super clingy. after sleeping for nearly 12 hours, she was still a little warm and i didn't want to risk her going to school and her temp spiking to the point they call me and i lose today and tomorrow at work.

tonight i get to see Bryan Adams. assuming the snow doesn't hit too hard and my girl is ok.


in between it all, any free time i've had the past several days, have been spent glued to the computer trying to create Lovie's baby book. as of late last night, i'm done from birth to month three and at about 40 pages! sheesh this is gonna take forever.

cheers.

in one week

i will finally be seeing this man live in concert again.

be still my beating heart, i cannot wait! : )

Into the Fire

2.) Tell us about your song.

Life - as thin as a thread
Sometimes you're lucky
Sometimes you're better off dead

Your first breath is taken and into the world you are cast
You long for tomorrow while living each day as your last

Well I know what your heart desires
But you can't take it with you
Into the fire

Now you've done all you can
Your life's at the crossroads
You watch as it slips through your hands

So you stand on the mountain and shout in vain at the sky
But nobody hears you - the words only echo inside

Oh shelter the flame - it may expire
Risin' up from the ashes
Into the fire

Just hold onto your life down to the wire
Oh out from the dragon's jaws
Into the fire

There's a moment in every man's life
When he must decide what is wrong and what's right

You could wait for your dreams to come true
But time has no mercy
Time won't stand still for you

Well I know what your heart desires
Crawlin' out from the wreckage
Into the fire

Here I go...Into the fire
I know...what your heart desires

Those are the lyrics from a song, Into the Fire- one of my all time favorite songs, written by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance in 1987.

I've actually written about this song before for another workshop prompt, but I tied it in with the song we danced to on our wedding day (also a Bryan Adams song), Heaven. Even so, it's worth repeating (in summary), I think.

The song Into the Fire saved my life.

That's where my love and adoration for Bryan Adams comes from. He saved my life. I don't want to marry the dude, I don't want to have his baby; I just really respect him (the man loves his work, his art, his craft) and really am thankful to be here today, alive and well, to talk about it. 

Because of him, because of this one song.

I think we all have moments in our lives when we react pretty dramatically to our surroundings- what's happening in our lives- and, at that moment, it may seem like the world is absolutely crashing in on you. What I've gone through is nothing exceptional; there are far, far, far worse childhoods. But, at the time, when I was living through it, I, of course, thought my life was the absolute worst. And I wanted it to end. I just couldn't see past the hurt and pain of the moment to see that maybe, if I fight through it, the sun might shine again.

It started after my parents split when I was 9, and explained nothing to me. I internalized everything and therefore, since nobody told me they loved me (it just wasn't said by anyone in our family- stupid, stupid, stupid on everyone's part!!) and since nobody told me the demise of our family wasn't my fault, I felt unloved and that the split was because of me.

Things just escalated from there. By the time I was full fledged teenager, I still pretty much hated life. I was angry, hostile, and just not happy. We were moving every year, I had no friends, my siblings were gone, my parents seemed to forget how to parent. What was the point? I immersed myself in music and writing. It was my only escape. I could get lost in the music and dream of a better day and I could release some of the angst through my writing. But I still didn’t think I would live to see 20 years old.

I hated life that much.

And then I found out that Bryan Adams would be touring (1986) and I adored him and his music. I picked up his latest album at the time, Into the Fire, and purchased concert tickets the day they went on sale and listened to the album over and over again to sort of prepare for the concert (haha the mind of a 14 year old!). That’s when things started to turn around for me. His song Into the Fire touched me in a way that made me feel like maybe I wasn’t so alone in this world after all.

When the concert day finally arrived, it was all so very electrifying to me. The entire show, the fans, the whole experience was so ... alive.  And, after an encore, he came back out on stage and finally performed the one song I really hoped he would play:

http://youtu.be/m7xqtLTBrHY 

(i'm SO sorry i can't get this video embedded, this song is really worth a listen though)

And, at that moment, I knew that holding out for this concert was absolutely the right thing to do; I knew that I had to crawl out of the wreckage of my life and make my way into the fire.

Cheesy? Heck yes. But oh so true.

And in just 2 days, I get to see this man perform live again!  It'll be my... 10th time (I'm pretty sure) seeing him. And it never gets old. (Unfortunately, I can't remember the last time I've seen him play Into the Fire live. It never became a hit, especially here in the States, so I'm guessing he doesn't play it because of that?? Honestly, I'm not sure I could handle it if he did end up playing it live on Saturday! It's been over 20 years and... I just don't think I could handle it.) 

Wordful Wednesday

First thing's first: I've written a new piece for Lisa's blog. Lisa, also known as LOG, is a dear friend of mine who I met years ago whilst planning our weddings. She's good people so I really hope you go over and check out her blog and my guest post over at LOG's blog.

Secondly and almost finally, I forgot to mention the weekend... this past weekend. We did a whole bunch of nothing special, yet it was awesomely amazing and fun! Nothing, and I do repeat NOTHING, makes me happier than just being with my Lovie.

And by "being" with her, I mean just sitting with her, just watching her do her thing, just playing with her, eating with her, talking with her, chasing her, reading with her, watching TV with her...

Not a day goes by when she doesn't make me feel so in awe of her and all that she knows, all that she's learning, all that she remembers.

But really, it's the insignificant moments when she's just doing whatever that leave me with tears in my eyes over how incredibly beautiful she is- inside and out. She's got such a sweet little heart. And she's so incredibly smart.

And she's mine. All mine. I'm so incredibly lucky. I get to be her Mama and ... just wow.

Enough gushing, eh. Sheesh.

Anyway and finally, THREE MORE DAYS TILL BRYAN ADAMS!!! I'm so excited. So very excited. Last time I saw him I was a couple months pregnant with Lovie and he was on his acoustic tour. And I cried so much during the show. He's so awesome and to hear him acoustically... just wow. Nothing fancy at all. Just a man who absolutely loves what he does, doing it right in front of you.  I can't wait to see if he mentions his baby girl at all. What? You didn't know the 50+ year old's baby mama just had a baby? Yup. Mirabella Bunny.

I hope you enjoy my post over on LOG's blog! And if you're stopping over for the first time because of that post, WELCOME! :)

[linking up with Supermom and The Paper Mama]

Stuff

* Lovie turned 21 months old yesterday... 1.75 years... 1-3/4 year old.

I'm not sure what to say other than she's an absolute joy to be around, day in and day out. Sincerely an absolute joy. Her "Muh You"'s kill me, as does her increasing vocabulary (dudes, we're up to 4-word sentences these days... WHAT?!?!!), and memory of ... everything. I'm in awe of her daily. And her nighttime cuddles up next to me while we watch Blues Clues (a clue! a clue!!!) before bed... make my heart swell so much. I just... she's just... AWESOME.

But I don't think I'm telling you anything shocking so I'll move on.

* I created a new Facebook fan page. Wanna "Like" it?? Then click THIS HERE. Oh please!

* Tomorrow's October. How and when the hell did this happen exactly? Really, I'd like to know!

* 08 days from now I'll be seeing Bryan Adams in concert. I can't wait. Yes, really, Bryan Adams. Yes, really, I'm that old.

* How did I make that shirt in the photos above? EASY.

• I designed the numbers and star burst thingie on Indesign (but you can do it on whatever you have, I'm pretty sure)
• then print out image on regular paper from a color printer
• then applied Rubber Cement to the back of it and let it dry (and applied more then let it dry, and again- making sure that each time it's not wet when applying more)
• then, after it sits overnight, I cut the image out and stuck it to a $3 white shirt I picked up

The stickiness of the image is very temporary and will not stick permanently or even anywhere close to permanent! Plus the kid will probably end up tearing if off anyway. But if you want to do something like this just for photos- this is for you. If you want something to last longer, move along to doing some sort of iron on.

* We kind of figured out who will care for Lovie should we both die soon. Thanks to the comments I got on the post the other day regarding this heavy topic, I was able to broach the subject with the hubs again. And we both agreed, again, that yes, this was something that needed to happen soon. And, oddly, it wasn't too hard to think of who we'd want to care for Lovie. It's one of my cousins, but not my BFF cousin. I'm kind of sad about that but the fact is that the cousin we've chosen has two boys, a great job and home, and loves parenting. We just really think Lovie would accommodate the best in that home. Now, we just have to figure out a way to bring this up to my cousin. You know?  I mean, we're not neighbors or anything and we only get together on holidays or birthdays... I was gonna email her but the hubs was like, "is that something that should be done via email?" haha, Good point, Mr. Anyway, I think we're gonna try to contact them this weekend.

* Tomorrow's October. How and when the hell did this happen exactly? Really, I'd like to know!

Have a great weekend! :)

Wordless Wednesday: Congrats!!

image from here

more faves

These pouches of fruit and/or veggies are AWESOME. Seriously.So.Awesome! Lovie enjoys them and I'm so super duper excited to have found them because they're super duper easy to just pop in my bag so that when we start stopping at the park on our way home from school/work, a little someone will have something to nosh on so she doesn't have a meltdown that dinner's not served the second we step foot home. Love, love, LOVE: HappyBabyFood.com. (i get them from Target for like $1 a piece)

OMG are these little things addictive. Holy crap. And soooo tasty. Yum Yum YUMMMMM! We've Lovie's tried the chocolate ones, the mixed ones (choc chip, chocolate, honey), and the wheat ones. None of us She doesn't like the wheat ones at all. Love, Love, LOVE: Annie's Bunny Grahams! (i get these from Target or Walmart for like $2.50ish a box.)

Bryan Adams (51!) will always hold a special place in my heart. I know it's crazy and juvenile but whatever. I love this man. I love how real he is and I love that he LOVES what he does. Well... he's gonna be a Daddy for the first time this May. It's so silly but I'm super excited to hear how being a Daddy inspires his music. After being a mom now for almost 15 months, I can't imagine parenthood NOT inspiring him and his art.


all photos in the post were found thru google images

Daycare Woes *edited- ha!*

So there's this teacher at Lovie's daycare, we'll refer to her as "Red". I'm not sure how long she's been there but I didn't start seeing her until just the past two months or so. To be blunt, I don't care for her. At all. And I'm doing my best not to let it get to me but there's just something about her that really rubs me the wrong way (and I'm generally a very good judge of character).

See, Red never ever ever greets me in the morning when Lovie and I arrive. She sits her happy pasty white ass in the chair at the only table in the room which I need to utilize to date Lovie's bottles and just ignores us. I understand not wanting to be all chatty first thing in the morning (630ish) since she's not Lovie's teacher but, um, if you're gonna sit there and be in my way, an acknowledgement (you know- nod your head, make eye contact, SOMETHING) would be nice. She never says boo to Lovie either. She just sits there and stuffs her face with a bagel and talks to the other teachers who are Lovie's teachers or a couple other kids who are generally there (older and able to communicate).

I could let all this go. I could and I have. Ignore me... fine. Ignore my kid... and my eye is on you but I can still let it go because I'm confident in Lovie's teachers.

But then there was a week several weeks ago when she was acting director. I wasn't seeing her in the morning, but I was seeing and hearing her in the afternoon when I'd pick up Lovie. And every single day, she'd be all, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Like I was Bryan Adams or something! And each day I tried my best to ignore her but I just don't roll like that- not when someone says Hi. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated so because I would like others to acknowledge my existence, when they do, I can't ignore them.

But I felt sick every time I'd say Hi back. And in my head, I was all, "Yeah you can say Hi now to me you little bitch because you've got super powers now that you're director wannabe."

UGH. It's so silly, I realize this.

Anyway, for the past couple weeks, I just drop any eye contact should my eyes meet hers. Plus Lovie hasn't been at daycare too much the past month because of all the damn diarrhea so I just haven't seen her much or felt the attitude from Red.

Well now we're back to daycare this week. Today is day 2. And today was day 2 of Red ignoring us. And I've about had it. Seriously. She fucking sits there and talks shit about the older kids running around like I'm not even there ("Oh look at Lily's hair.. it looks... nice." Nice meaning "Nice- for once."). She ignores me and Lovie. I'm just really beyond being in 8th grade, frankly. I hated it then, I hate it tenfold now.

I'm SO close to snapping on her little ass. I mean, I'm all snarky in my head but I just zip my mouth shut. Why? Because a) I don't want Lovie to be a mean bitch like I can be, b) I don't want Lovie's teachers treating her differently, c) I'm just not one to stir the pot... unless it's about to boil. Then, for some reason, I'm fucking good at stirring the pot (I've gotten people fired, for example. Gross, I know!).

So. Do I...

1. continue to let this shit boil inside of me
2. snap on Red the next time I see fit
3. say something to the director
4. who the fuck cares

What would you do?

EDIT (or would this be an update or amended?? I think this is actually AMENDED!):

*so I wrote this post quickly then ran to lunch and on my way back (from checking out the pizza joint for Lovie's party), I realized that I probably sound like an idiot. I'm ranting over some little teenie bopper (OK maybe she's all of 20- sorry!) ignoring me and Lovie when she's not even Lovie's teacher. Who's the tool now? Ugh. Can I blame this rant on my period? Because I did just get it last night and I'm a bit... raged because of it.

Heaven

When I was a kid, I never thought I’d ever get married- or have kids for that matter. 

My parents split when I was about 9 years old and explained nothing to us, to me (I’m the youngest of three), which left me wondering and soon believing that their demise was because of me. I was 9. What else was I supposed to think?!

Life was rough after they split. Not only was our family crumbling, but so was everything else around us: the house I had known my whole life was going into foreclosure because my parents wouldn’t come together and at least continue to provide for us; there were days and nights we didn’t have electricity or hot water; there were times I was sent to the store to buy cereal with the green and black lettering on it because it was the cheapest (generic) and had to pay for it with food stamps (back when food stamps were literally stamps) and eat it with powdered milk mixed with water; my older sister left to join the armed forces; my brother was never home; my father went a little insane and had to be arrested in front of me once for breaking into the house to get some of his stuff… Just a shitton of crap that a young girl on the cusp of adolescence should not really witness.

And it all left me with an awful taste in my mouth regarding marriage and kids. I mean sure I liked little kids and babies, but why on earth would anyone want to get married and have kids if ruining their lives is the end result?!

By the time I was full fledged teenager, I still pretty much hated life. I was angry, hostile, and just not happy. We were moving every year, I had no friends, my siblings were gone, my parents seemed to forget how to parent. What was the point? I immersed myself in music and writing. It was my only escape. I could get lost in the music and dream of a better day and I could release some of the angst through my writing. But I still didn’t want to get married, still didn’t want to have kids. I sincerely didn’t think I would live to see 20 years old. I hated life that much.

And then I found out that Bryan Adams would be touring (1986) and I adored him and his music. I picked up his latest album at the time, Into the Fire, and purchased concert tickets the day they went on sale and listened to the album over and over again to sort of prepare for the concert (haha the mind of a 14 year old!). That’s when things started to turn around for me. His song Into the Fire touched me in a way that made me feel like maybe I wasn’t so alone in this world after all.

So I held on for his show… and more.

A couple years later, I met my oldest nephew and finally saw that there really was more to life than sorrow- and maybe there was a future for me after all. From that point on, anytime things got to be too dark, I listened to Bryan Adams and thought about “my kids” (nephews and nieces) and wrote.

That’s why today, at nearly 38, I say that Bryan Adams saved my life- and I mean it, too. And it’s also the reason behind his song Heaven being the song the husband and I danced to as our first dance as husband and wife.

1984 (the year Heaven was a hit) meet 2007 (the year we got married).

Wow.

I’m one lucky lady!

I have an adoring husband who danced to a 23 year old Bryan Adams song on our wedding day, who gave me the greatest gift ever imaginable (Lovie), and who has taught me and proved to me that the past doesn’t always dictate the future.

I really am in Heaven.