i hope you dance

Yesterday marked Lovie's first full month as a four year old. I kind of want to come here and gush about how awesome it is having a four year old, but I'm terrified of jinxing myself. Three was good for us-- but trying. Especially the first half of three. Oh boy is Trying a nice word to describe the first half of three. Two was not terrible at all for us. Much like one.

It's been a pure joy to mama this kid. Sure there are not-so-fun times but really? Not really! It's been a joy. I'm so blessed.

Anyhow

Next Saturday Lovie and her dad are going to a Daddy Daughter Dance. How freaking adorable is that going to be?

This is what she's wearing. Now, prepare yourself because if you know me at all, you know how anti-pink/girly/glittery/fluffy/princess I am... so ... hopefully you're sitting down.

Ready? You've been warned.

The dress:

The tights:

The shoes:

I picked the dress (and the tights) up today from Macy's (and the shoes from Payless). Um. The dress is even pink-er/girly-er/glittery-er/fluffy-er/princess-er than it looks in the photo. Like I almost didn't recognize it because it's SOOOO all those things.


And it's absolutely perfect for Lovie.

I'M GONNA MISS HIM

This morning was a bit rough: Lovie kind of lost her shit when it was time to go to school.

"I want daddy to take me!"

"Honey, you have to let us know beforehand that's what you want so daddy can arrange for that to happen."

"I want daddy to take me!"

"Daddy can you take her?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't today."

"NOOOOO I WANT DADDY TO TAKE ME!"

This went on for several minutes. Tears flooded her face. She started to smack her hand down to emphasize that she was being serious (I guess). She was so very unhappy. And all I could do was look at the clock and get warmer and warmer because I detest running late and when I get anxious or angry or breathe, I get warm these days.

"Honey, daddy can take you another day, right daddy?"

"NOOOOO I WANT DADDY TO TAKE ME NOW!"

"I know that's what you want but we can't always get what we want." (ugh, I hated when my mother, brother or sister would say this to me... at least I didn't say, How does it feel to want? the way my asshat brother use to.)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"It's time to go."

"I DON'T WANNA!"

She just cried and wiggled herself against her dad who lay on the bed. And anytime we tried touching her or saying something, she'd just freak out even more. Finally it got to the point where if we didn't leave at that moment, I'd be very late so I just walked out of the room saying goodbye.

I know that's horrible, but it was that or scream.

Twenty seconds later I could hear the bedroom door open and I walked toward it and there Lovie stood, hand on the knob, sobbing. I got down to her level and calmly got close to her and gave her a hug and told her that I was so sorry she was so sad and upset. I told her daddy really wanted to take her but he had to do some work before going to work. I scooped her into my arms and held her tight for a minute. She just sobbed. She wasn't angry or yelling anymore. She was just... sad.

And boy did that make me sad.

I took her to the bathroom so she could go potty and that's where she revealed, "But I'm gonna miss him."

My heart just about split in half.

"Oh baby," I said. "It's okay to miss daddy, he's gonna miss you too. I bet he misses you already. But you still have to go to school, he still has to go to work."

"But I'm gonna miss him."

The tears dropped into the palms of her hands on her lap.

"Sweetheart, let's go give him big hugs and kisses and then you can tell him that you'll miss him."

So we did just that. And she burrowed her head into him and they hugged and hugged and he told her how he was going to spend a lot of extra time with her tonight when he got home.

And that was that. She was fine. She stood up and jumped into my arms like she always does in the morning and off we went to get our coats on and leave.







Daddy's Girl

These two:

They own my heart.

Especially when I see them together.

Last night Taye got home maybe 10 minutes after Lovie and me. This doesn't happen often. Maybe once every other month. More than not, Taye doesn't get home till after Lovie is in bed. Maybe once a week, he makes it home right at bedtime.

Last night we knew Taye wasn't going to be late, but we didn't know how early he'd be. So when Lovie saw him standing there in the laundry room (where the back entrance is)... it was like the heavens had opened up and shined a light on just the two of them. She screamed DADDY! and ran and leapt into his arms and just hugged him and hugged him. Then she looked over at me with the hugest smile before squeezing Taye again. They stood in the doorway hugging for at least four minutes. I should've gotten a camera because it was truly such a beautiful moment but I didn't think it would last as long as it did.

They both were so incredibly happy to just be there in that moment in time. Nothing spectacular going on in the day, no special reason. Just Daddy getting home from work a little early and his baby girl happy to see him.

This is what it's all about. These tiny little insignificant moments.