Writer's Workshop: the Pen

In 5th grade the big thing was transitioning from pencil to pen, but in order to make that move your cursive writing skills had to be to the teacher’s liking. I was certain I would be the first 5th grader that year to make the move- but I wasn’t. And I was sure it was because I didn’t have one of those fancy new erasable pens that were all the rage (why I was certain this was the reason since I couldn’t use a pen until I perfected the writing with pencil, I don’t know... I was 10, for crying out loud!).

I begged my mom for one but she refused. Of course. (I swear my mom never got me anything cool. No, I take that back. After years and years of begging for a real Trapper Keeper folder system, she finally caved and got me one… for my 35th birthday. I’m not even joking- though I did digress greatly.)

I wanted that erasable pen so badly. I can still see it today- yellow with a black eraser. The ink was black. The cap came off and slid over the long part of the pen so that the eraser could easily be used. I had my eye on that pen for days, if not weeks (and you know weeks back then was like years today).


this is the pen EXACTLY except mine
just had a regular black eraser
instead of a Qbert one though i did
always love me some Qbert!

But my mom kept refusing to get it for me.

So one day when I went to the new drug store on the corner of the intersection I wasn’t supposed to go near, I got me that pen.

I walked in to the store with some of my friends and we all agreed to meet back at the counter in 10 minutes. I picked out some candy and then went to the pen aisle and saw it. My pen. I picked it off the rack and looked at the price tag and knew I didn’t have the money for it in addition to the candy so I switched the tag with another; but rather than buy the pen with the cheaper price tag, I put the pen in my pocket.

I remember looking around and not seeing anyone and thinking that I would just go to the counter and buy the candy. And I did just that. And after I got done paying and we were about to leave, a deep voice ordered us to stop.

And we stopped.

As did time.

And my heart.

“I need to see what’s in your pocket,” the man in the blue suit said, looking down at me.

I took the pen, still in its package, out of my pocket and started to cry.

“You girls can leave,” the man told my friends who didn’t skip a beat and immediately left.

I was sure I would be put in handcuffs and escorted into a police car. Instead, he brought me to the counter where the cashier was and they both looked at me and the pen that sat on the counter, taunting me.

“You can either buy the pen or we have to call your parents."

“There’s nobody home,” I said, digging through my change, avoiding eye contact and trying not to cry.

“And you’re not welcome back here anymore, either.”

I bought the pen and left- never to look back and never to steal again.

Nearly 30 years later and I still have an odd obsession with pens- even though I rarely use them anymore thanks be to the internet.

Wordless Wednesday: 1 1/4 year old tv-aholic

this is why i avoided turning the damn thing on for so long

one and a quarter

My sweet baby doll is 15 months… 1 and ¼ year old today!

Things she seems to love these days:

• talking (non-stop: most we can’t understand but things are getting clearer)
• eating (non-stop: she bangs on the silverware drawer which is under the snacks; she’ll also step on her high chair and whine when she’s hungry)
• harassing the cats (making a sound, “iiiiiiiiihh” that mocks my “niiiiiice” when petting them)
• snuggling after waking up (love love love love love)
• dancing
• singing (this is new- and quite darn cute)
• laughing (especially when we jump out and Rawr at her or when we tickle her or when we laugh)
• looking out the window
• going bye bye (just not necessarily getting her coat and hat on)
• climbing (the stairs, the couch, chairs, etc)
• trying to use a spoon by herself
• playing with shape sorters, blocks, cars (roooom)
• saying No No No when she means it (sometimes adding a shake of the head and wave of a hand to Really means it)
• books (when we read- but she’s been reading by herself lately too)
• Kitty (everything that moves and is smaller than her is Kitty- dogs, squirrels, etc)
• The Wiggles
• Television (specifically Nina and Star on Sprout TV and The Fresh Beats Band on Nick Jr)
• Grandma Bear and binky at bed/naptime

Things she’s not too fond of these days:

• anything that has to do with her head/hair
• when we’re firm with our No’s (for example, we’re super mean and don’t allow her to walk around with a sippy cup)
• This Song/Video

All in all, she's just such an awesome little girl! We're so damn lucky!

The Reader

My Lovie has been loving books for a very long time. When she was about 9 months old or so, she started "asking" me to read books by bringing me books and laying on me as I read them. By about 11 months old or so, she started to get upset when I would get near the last page of books because, up to that point, I would read the book once and move on to another or just stop reading all together... so once when she started freaking out at the end of the story, I quickly started over from the beginning and voila! She was content again. Then when she started to talk around a year old, she started bringing me books and really asking me to read to her. And now at 15 months old (tomorrow!!), she's really starting to "read" books by herself. It's pretty cool. And when I ask her what she's reading, she'll actually start "reading" and pointing, etc.

She's such a cool little chica. And she's all mine. : )  So often she leaves me seriously wondering how in the world I can be so seriously blessed.

feed.me!

every day when we get home from school/work, this is what happens (or all day long on the weekends when we're home)...

life at work these days

Mambo number 5

Er, not really... more like Toofers Number 5. (What is it about baby teeth that turns me into a 3 year old? Why can't I say Teeth or Tooth? Why, when it comes to little babes and their brand new teeth, do I HAVE to refer to them as Teef or Toofs or Toofers or Teefies, etc, etc?!?)

I haven't taken any pictures of my darling in almost two weeks so yesterday I made sure to carry the camera around with us after we got home for the day. And when I was looking thru the pictures after downloading them to the computer, I came across that one up there and was like SHE'S GOT ANOTHER TOOF!! I hollered over to the husband and he asked me to zoom in a bit and we both agree there's another toofie in her mouf, making it Toofers Number Five!

Some other favorites from the night are when she could see herself in the little flip view thing...

God do I love this child. With everything that I am. It's insane the love I have for her. Insane.


After I downloaded these pictures and marveled over her incredibleness, I logged in to Facebook for the last time before going to bed... and my eyes came across an update that left me with tears streaming down my face and feeling like someone had punched me in the gut. Writing about it now is leaving the same taste in my mouth, too. Fuck is this hard.

Back in September I posted about my cousin's kid, then a mere 6 months old, who had just undergone a liver transplant. At the time I just asked that if you were reading this, that you just take a tiny moment to just think about Tyler and his family in a positive manner. And I swear to you that it worked. It really did.

Well... they need our positive vibes again.  Please send any POSITIVE energy you can in any shape you can to this little boy, Tyler, and his family.

BLURB

I'm getting super duper excited about something that I've been meaning to do for ... YEARS!! Turn a blog into a book!

In 2007 I designed and created our wedding album for a fraction of the price it would've cost us to have a wedding photographer do so and did this via one of my favorite websites- Blurb. Some time later they announced that they could turn blogs into books. How freaking cool is that?! I thought. But why on earth would I want to turn my ramblings about my boring life into a book? Still, I kept it in the back of my mind that it was an option.

Then in July of 2008 I got pregnant and created a blog with the intention of turning it into a book for my future child. Sadly, that pregnancy ended too soon and I created another blog to deal with that loss... but there's no need to turn that into a book.

When I got pregnant again in April of 2009, I created yet another blog for that pregnancy and kept it private because I was extremely ... cautious about the pregnancy. The more time passed and the bigger Lovie grew, the more I catered that blog to be hopefully read one day by my her. And about a month or so before Lovie was due, I created yet another (private) blog (love me some blogger eh?) in which I envisioned writing directly to Lovie and turning it into a book (basically using the blog in lieu of a "baby book").

So there you have it... I've been thinking about this for years and now I'm finally going to do it. Well, I'm going to start at least. Lord knows the wedding album took months and months to finalize, so I'm sure Lovie's book(s) will take some time, too.

I plan to start with Lovie's book - from birth to a year old. My goal is to have it ready to print by her 2nd birthday. I plan on downloading the software tonight and working on it whenever Lovie's sleeping (too bad I couldn't download it here at work).

Anyway, all of that got me to looking through her blog and I thought I'd share last year's entries (from one year ago this week):

     March 22, 2010 (click image to enlarge to read):

     March 23, 2010 (entry was too long to take a screen shot so c&p below):

12 weeks: I smile

Today marks week 12 of your beautiful life... and next Monday you'll be THREE MONTHS OLD!

I miss you so much, baby girl. I really hate bringing you to daycare every day. I hate it so much but I won't let on to you that I hate it. Instead, I scoop you up into my arms and snuggle you for a minute and talk gently to you, telling you that it's time to go to school. I smile all the time at you...

Even though inside I'm crying hysterically because I just want to hold you, play with you, feed you, outside I smile as I get you strapped into your car seat.
I smile as you suck on your Binky and look up at me as if to say, "What's going on now, Momma?"
I smile and tell you that you're a big girl and big girls go to school while Momma's go to work.
I smile even though inside I want to drop to the floor and curl into a ball over having to do this.
I smile as I talk to you as we leave the apartment. As I carry strapped-in-the-car seat-you down the stairs, I smile as I count out loud each step I hit: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 (then landing then) 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 (then landing then) 1-2-3-4-5-6 (then lobby).
I smile as I set strapped-in-the-car seat-you onto the floor and unfold the stroller base.
I smile as I pick strapped-in-the-car seat-you up off the floor and snap you into the stroller base.
I smile as I tell you that it's going to be cold when I open the door and that we're off to the car and then to school.
I smile as I push you down the street(s) to the car.
I smile when I place strapped-in-the-car seat-you into the car seat base.
I smile when I fold the stroller base up and put it in the back hatch.
And when I sit down in the driver seat in the car and start it, I smile then, too, and announce "Here we go baby doll."

I smile because I love you so much and I don't want you to worry even for a moment. I don't know if babies as small as you even know how to worry just yet but you're growing so fast and absorbing so much and from your expressions, I really do think you can at least wonder at this point -if not worry. And I don't even want you to wonder if something’s wrong.

I want you to feel safe and secure and loved and adored at all times.

So I smile - and will continue to smile - when I drop you off at daycare ... even though inside I want to scream and shout that it's not fair and that I just want to care for my baby.

     March 26, 2010 (click image to read):

     Pictures referenced in above screen shot:
 

 
 
DISCLAIMER: Blurb has given me nothing, has asked nothing of me, etc. This is not an advertisement for Blurb. I'm not getting paid to do this, I'm not getting anything for free to do this (though I certainly wouldn't mind, ha!). I'm doing this of my own free will because I'm super duper freaking excited about this!
 

Wordless Wednesday: Congrats!!

image from here

story time

The other day Lovie and I were sitting at my computer at home watching Wiggles videos on YouTube when my husband comes in (to the office) and asks if I've seen or heard about the video of the newest teen sensation who's video had like 26 million views because of how bad it is.

"You mean Justin Bieber?" I asked.

He chuckled and said, "No, this is a girl... Rebecca Black or something?"

I looked it up and found it and pressed the play button: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

We all sat there watching the video for a minute- Lovie on my lap, the husband to my right in his chair. Honestly, I didn't see anything wrong with the video and made a comment that money was spent making the video; it just wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The husband commented on the sound- the one note the girl used throughout.

Lovie just sat there looking at the computer when all of sudden she raised her hand and started waving it back and forth. The husband and I shot looks at each other like, "WTF?" and then started waving our hands back and forth, too, in support of our little lovebug.

That's when Lovie dropped her hand and started shaking her head back and forth No.

"You don't like it?" I asked, a little confused.

I let the video continue to play and Lovie raised her hand again and waved it back and forth- much like she does to the food on her tray when she's doesn't want anymore, shook her head side to side, and said, "No, no, no, no!"

The husband and I about died. The husband was SO proud at that moment.

I turned the video off and found a Wiggles video to bounce around to instead.


Do you think the song is that bad?