i hope you dance

Yesterday marked Lovie's first full month as a four year old. I kind of want to come here and gush about how awesome it is having a four year old, but I'm terrified of jinxing myself. Three was good for us-- but trying. Especially the first half of three. Oh boy is Trying a nice word to describe the first half of three. Two was not terrible at all for us. Much like one.

It's been a pure joy to mama this kid. Sure there are not-so-fun times but really? Not really! It's been a joy. I'm so blessed.

Anyhow

Next Saturday Lovie and her dad are going to a Daddy Daughter Dance. How freaking adorable is that going to be?

This is what she's wearing. Now, prepare yourself because if you know me at all, you know how anti-pink/girly/glittery/fluffy/princess I am... so ... hopefully you're sitting down.

Ready? You've been warned.

The dress:

The tights:

The shoes:

I picked the dress (and the tights) up today from Macy's (and the shoes from Payless). Um. The dress is even pink-er/girly-er/glittery-er/fluffy-er/princess-er than it looks in the photo. Like I almost didn't recognize it because it's SOOOO all those things.


And it's absolutely perfect for Lovie.

today

Sunday morning I went out to meet with some friends. I left Lovie at home with her daddy. "But I'm gonna miss you," she mumbled with a frown on her face. "I know," I told her. "I'm gonna miss you too. But I won't be too long and then we can spend the rest of the day together like always."

After a couple hours, Taye texted me a photo of Lovie holding an 11x14 framed photo of the two of us (me and Lovie). "I think she misses you," the text read below the image.

My sweet love.

When I got home she ran through the house and into my arms and was stuck to me like Velcro the rest of the day, a smile tattooed on her sweet little face.

This little girl is absolutely everything to me. So much so that it hurts. It HURTS to think of life without her. It's been like this since before she was born. I honestly thought that the intensity in which I feel this would dissipate a bit by now but it absolutely hasn't. Quite the opposite actually.

I have my moments when I get tired or frustrated and wouldn't mind turning down the volume on her a bit, but those thoughts and feelings never last too long before I'm flooded with this nearly overwhelming love for her.

She makes me so proud. She's so sweet and kind. She's so smart. She's so gosh darn adorable. But it's more than all that. It's that she's a part of me. Like truly a part of my heart and soul. I just don't want to ever imagine a time when she won't want much to do with me. I know that time will come, but I just can't think of it.

Instead, I relish in the now.

Right now.

Today.

I can't wait to pick her up from school. I can't wait to see that smile fill her face when she sees me. I can't wait to buckle her safely in the back seat and give her her Nabi. I can't wait to hear the story of Cinderella or The Ugly Duckling being read to her by the Nabi for the hundredth time during our drive home. I can't wait for her to ask me if I got her a surprise snack. I can't wait for her to ask me what's for dinner. I can't wait for her to ask me to sit with her to watch TV. I can't wait for her to use me as a jungle gym while we watch TV. I can't wait for her to ask me for hot chocolate. I can't wait for her to demand one more tv show before bed. I can't wait for her to tell me she doesn't want to brush her teeth. I can't wait for her to stall at bedtime. I can't wait for her to sigh about how she'd really love some water after being tucked into bed.

I can't wait to see my sweet love.

I can't wait to do the every day, mundane things with her.

I can't wait for her hugs and kisses and snuggles.

I can't wait to tickle her and kiss her a million times till she squirms and wrestles away from me.

more on four

the video was quite long so here's the interview in one image (click to enlarge):

also, finally had her 4 year checkup and my little dollface is 36.5 lbs and 40 inches tall.

interview with a four year old

It's pretty long, but it's all her.

(I apologize in advance for repeating nearly every single thing she says. How annoying am I? Don't answer that.)

Here she is at three.

She's like a real little girl now. I mean, she was then too but she still looked like a baby too. Ack. She'll always be my baby!

frozen

Ironically, we took Lovie to see the movie Frozen Saturday night.

Why is that ironic? Well because we've been pretty much trapped inside since the movie as a result of snow, dangerous wind chills, dangerous below zero temps before the wind chill, and finally, because my car wouldn't start this morning.


Now generally, I love being at home. Love it. If I have the choice between going somewhere and staying home, I typically pick staying home... but enough is enough already.

I mean... the poor cat.

And there's only so many friggin boxes I can break down.


But!

If I had to choose between seeing the movie Frozen again (which I have yet to read one negative review) and staying in the house another day... I'd pick staying in the house another day.

I didn't care for Frozen, Taye didn't like it, and Lovie wanted to leave midway through. It was too intense for her I guess. It's a gorgeous movie with amazing singing, but that's it.

twenty fourteen

It snowed on New Year's Eve. And all day New Year's day, too. And the day after (yesterday).

my girl making snow angels on jan 1 2014

Today is the first day in several where the sun is shining and snow is not falling.

That's not a complaint though. I freaking love this time of year.

New Year's Eve was nothing special. It never really is. I mean, it's just another day in the grand scheme of things. I'm not one to really make resolutions and all that crap. For me, it just marks a time when I need to remember to change the date. I don't live my life thinking, "Oh in the New Year I'm gonna get in shape... eat better... walk more... cry less... be a bigger/lesser bitch..." I try to do what I need to do each and every day and focus on that day as if it were my last.

Uh yeah... that's not entirely true. I mean, if I sincerely were living my life like today was my last day on earth, I doubt I'd be typing in this blog, I doubt I'd be sitting my fat ass down in front of this computer at work.

Nah, I'd be with this little chica instead:

New Year's Eve 2013

For sure.

She's what it's all about after all.

on turning four

Apparently Four is a big deal.

Three, two, one are fun, too, but four is ... big fun. Not just fun. Not just big. But big fun.



Saturday, the day before Lovie's actual birthday, we partied it up at a jumpy house like last year. (Taye took photos, I'm hoping, during the jumpy part. It pretty much looks like last year's party except not quite as many kids and they're bigger.)

The party was 2:30-4:30 and at 5:30 we had dinner reservations with a bunch of family. Not really in honor of Lovie's birthday, but just to gather in a calmer setting.

Then the morning of her actual birthday, Lovie woke to a (messy) room full of balloons for the fourth year in a row. It's a fun tradition I stole from the interwebs that I plan to do for as long as she lives in our home.

Besides her party, her gift from us was a pink electric guitar. Like a real one. Lovie was quite smitten and that made us quite happy. After a late breakfast and a late nap, we headed out to a kiddie place that has games that spits out tickets that you can collect to win prizes. Lovie, being the big 0-4, insisted she now can have gum, so she had her eyes set on winning a little gumball machine.

We finished off her birth day night with some ice cream at 9:30 at night... well past her bedtime, but hey, you only turn four once!

Yesterday, much like the day following Christmas, I stayed home with Lovie to relax and play with new toys. We didn't play much with anything other than the balloons though-- having balloon fights and ballet balloon (twirl balloon instead of smacking it toward your opponent). All per Lovie's request.

This morning, two days after her birthday, Lovie asked when she'd be five.

She loves being four so far and she does not want to get old like me and daddy, but I guess she wouldn't mind being five already. Me, on the other hand, I still need to catch up to this business of my baby doll being four years old already. 

Christmas recap

We cleaned. We cooked. We watched beautiful snowflakes fall Christmas Eve morning.

 

Grandpa and Cousin Joey visited in the afternoon. We ate. We opened presents. We laughed and played. We ate some more before saying good-bye to our guests. Lovie finally fell asleep around 10PM Christmas Eve and then we helped set the magical scene for Christmas morning.

 

 

Santa came and ate some cookies and drank some milk and left a big present (Barbie RV) for Lovie. Mom and dad did good with other gifts including the Nabi Jr.

The three of us spent Christmas morning together alone. Wrapping paper, boxes, plastic bands covered the floor. Piles of toys here and there. Daddy won $500 from a scratch-off lottery ticket tucked in his stocking. Mommy made easy and yummy sticky buns so that we all could just be together all morning. Just the three of us.

It really is the most magical time of the year.

to You

 

 

 

 

(words could not express how sad I am that the photographer who took these photos & created this card has closed shop)

Light

This little light of mine.

 

She's been taking ballet for nearly a full year now. Saturday was the first time we were able to sit in the studio to see all that our little ballerinas have learned. This isn't the first time I've seen her perform. No, that was last May-- on Mother's Day, actually. That's when she was in her first live dance recital after five months of lessons (different class and instructor). She was adorable, of course. She even lead the way most of the time.

This past Saturday was a bit different though. We didn't have to sit through hours of performances with only a few minutes from our little stars. This time, we got a front row seat to 45 minutes of nonstop ballet and creative movement (I didn't name the class) starring our kids only. It was freaking adorable and fun and cute and funny... and enlightening. Seems my little Lovie who shines so brightly like a star does so everywhere.

I'm gonna let it shine. 

Not just in my eyes, either. Apparently, she's the class clown, too. So everyone can see her. She makes sure of it.

I'm not really sure what, if anything, I'm suppose to do about this. She's a very attentive listener and follows instructions very well the first time given. She remembers everything. But, she, like most littles her age (no??), likes attention and she's not shy about getting it.

This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine...

She had the small studio laughing more than once with questions she asked the teacher or random comments she made in reference to a song or dance. Was I suppose to shush her? Should I have told her to just listen? Thing is, she does everything that's asked of her. It's not like she's not paying attention. And it's not like she's super rude about interrupting; she does say "Excuse me."

The couple of times she ran to me to give me a hug (*melt*), I did tell her how great a job she was doing and that she should keep her listening ears open, but yeah, she still made some random comments that had everyone laughing (while I glanced back at her Daddy who she's sooo much like).

Meh, I think I have my answer: I'm not dimming the shine. I won't do it. Not yet, at least.

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.