finally Mom

make it a happy one

2012-02-14T12:15:00.001-06:00

I've never been a Valentine's Day celebrator. My dad would, on occasion, surprise me with some little thing- a stuffed bear, a flower, some chocolates. But he hasn't done that in a while. And that's OK. I admit it was super sweet when he did it but then as I grew older and older, it was weird; I was getting something from my dad but nobody else. No love life for a long time makes you feel like a big fat fucking capital L Loser. And getting a little treat from Daddy just doesn't help with those feelings.

Now though... as a mom? I get it. I get what he was doing and why. He loves me. I'm his little girl. Even though I'm old and have silver hair, I'm still his little girl.

There is one Valentine's Day I do actually specifically remember from when I was like 19ish... so 20 years ago! I went out with a friend and her group of friends to go see Wayne's World in the theatre. We were all excited to see it cuz the skit on SNL was funny as shit. Plus, some of the scenes were filmed in the area this group of people lived (an area I once lived before moving for the millionth time). And we figured a group of us (I'd say there were about 10 of us) could easily get into Wayne's World on Valentine's Day of all days as it's not like it's a "date movie".

We went, we laughed, we snorted (from laughter!), then we went out for coffee (it's what we did before Starbucks) and fries and shit. And we dubbed ourselves The Lonely Hearts Club because we were all big fat fucking capital L Losers without "lovers" to go out with on Valentine's Day. Silly thing is I never really hung out with many of them again- certainly not as a huge group. And believe me, it's not cuz I found someone else to spend my next Valentine's Days with; life just happens that way.

Today, nearly 20 years later (TWENTY FUCKING YEARS?!?! Wayne's World IS TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD THIS YEAR?!?!), I still don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.

I mean I do but I don't.

I have a husband now but, in the 12 years (when does this shit happen?!? how can it be 12 years already? how can we be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this year?!? SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE!) we've been together, we've never celebrated. It's no big deal either.

first Valentine's Day: 2010

Except now we've got this little girl to contend with, to love on, to nurture, to help grow, to snuggle, to smother with hugs and kisses on a daily basis. And we do... oh how we love this little girl with everything we are.

first vday CARD, 2011

Everyday is like Valentine's Day in our home. I'm not kidding. It's pretty gross, but this little girl is magic, I tell you. Magic.

from actual vday, 2011

Not everything is all hearts and rainbows every day, but the love, the hugs, the kisses... that's prevalent every single day. There's just never a shortage!

vday card 2012

So while I don't really give a shit about today being "Valentine's Day", it still is Valentine's Day. And I dressed my girl in a dress with a shitton of hearts that form flowers because of the day. And I sent her to school with a shitton of little Valentine cards to give to her classmates- along with a couple bag of chips for her little party. And I picked up a little stuffed monkey, tights, a tutu, and a pair of slippers (all pink because that's her thing despite it making me gag) which we'll give her tonight when the three of us are home together and not rushing out the door.

taken in school this morning

Cuz it's Valentine's Day. May as well make it a happy one, eh?

a moment from the day in the life of a 2 year old

2012-02-13T14:36:00.000-06:00

Lovetastical Listicle

2012-02-13T08:03:00.000-06:00

Valentine's day is tomorrow... but these are thing I love all the time:

Her. duh!
Him.
My little family.
My Oma.
Hearing her say "Mama"... The way she looks and smiles at me when she sees me in the morning or for the first time when I'm not right by her side... How incredibly, incredibly sweet she is.
Sleep (photo is of her sleeping but I really love when *I* get to sleep this soundly).
Junk food.
Watching TV.
the Internet.
my "mom story." (please, please go check it out)

Mom Story

2012-02-12T16:50:00.000-06:00

I did it! I posted my "mom story," my Journey to Motherhood story onto BlogHer!

I loved writing it and I love Ricki Lake. I don't really care if I win or not; I'm just proud of myself for taking a leap and hitting that publish button on BlogHer's site.

Thanks so much to Just Jennifer for her post which directed me there.

Anyway, if you can, I'd love ... LOVE ... for you to check out my story and leave me any feedback you can on the site. You can check it out by clicking THIS.

Things I've learned this week.

2012-02-10T08:48:00.001-06:00

(Last week I did this and I kind of liked it so I think I'll do it again.)

After a fantabulous visit with relatives over the weekend- and more importantly, with my BFF/cousin- she and I have decided on a location and month to go on our Fabulous (just added heh), Fierce, and Forty trip: Naples, Florida. Specifically, The Ritz Carlton in Naples, Fla- right on the dang beach!!

The plan is to go in early August- like the first weekend. We’ll probably meet up there (she’s in NYC, I'm in Chicago) on Friday and go back home on Monday. Originally I thought to go back Sunday (mainly for cost... this is the Ritz Carlton, eh. Not cheap.) but after looking at the resort and reading all the reviews and thinking more about it, I realized I deserve at least two full days in paradise, damnit. It will be hard to leave my Lovie. So hard. I’m actually trying not to think about that part of all of this because I start to well up. Yeah, yeah, yeah everyone needs a break from their kid. It’s good to get away. For both of you. Blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all before. And while I’m sure it will be nice to get away, I have absolutely no problems getting away with my Lovie. Maybe it would be different if I was a SAHM and with her 24/7- literally. But I’m not. I have plenty of time away from her. ANYWAY...

I can’t wait. I really can’t. I’m not a beach person at all. I hate hate hate the heat and humidity and summer. Hate it. But for some reason, I really want to do exactly this: go to the beach for a couple days with the sun beating down on me and just lay around doing nothing more than eating and drinking and maybe, just maybe even get a spa treatment. That’s it.

Ahhhh I can’t flipping wait.

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Spending hour upon hour for weeks and weeks in any “spare” time I have perfecting a baby book is so friggin worth it in the end. Especially when your order is half off* and the end result is pure gorgeous. God I love Shutterfly.

*Shutterfly has no clue I'm writing about them and sharing my love for them. They didn't compensate me in any way. Their half off deal on photo books was given to everyone paying attention, but has since expired. I'm sure they'll have another great offer up and running soon, if they don't already. Cuz they kick ass like that.

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I have surrendered to all things pink. I still hate the damn color but I’ve given in to it. For her.

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Thanks to blogging pal, Jennifer, and her Journey to Motherhood story, I’ve discovered a new outlet to occupy my time: BlogHer. (Of course I've heard of BlogHer many moons ago, but I just never wanted to get that involved with blogging.) And I’ve been working on perfecting (haha) my own Journey to Motherhood story… fulfilling one more of the things (writing more) I want to accomplish before 40. Woot.

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10 years is a long time… and enough time to make all my dreams come true.

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My kid is a lot like her daddy. A lot. Not only does she look a lot like him (thank goodness for his big eyes), but she’s so incredibly smart like him, too. And a bit of a smart ass. Oy, I’m going to be in trouble.

Yesterday when I picked her from school and got her into the car seat, I noticed she had some... gunk … on her face. It kind of looked like glue or something so as I’m trying to wipe it off, I said, “What is this all over your face?” I wasn’t really wanting an answer, I was just talking, you know? Anyway she looks away from me for a second, looks back at me and says, “Nose!”

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What have you learned this week? I'd love to hear about it... if you post about it, come back and hit me up with a link so I can check it out.

10 years

2012-02-09T05:02:00.000-06:00

Ten years ago on this day, I was

...madly in love with this guy I met via an online personals ad he answered two year prior.

... kinda dreading turning 30.

... dreaming of a day when that guy would pop the question.

... dreaming of a day I'd become a mom.

... dreaming of a day I'd get the hell out of the dead end job I was in.

... worrying about, talking to on the phone with, and spending as much time on the weekends as possible with my little munchkin man booger butt 9-year-old nephew of mine.

... looking forward to when this guy I fell in love with would drive 70 miles out to my place on a Friday after work in horrendous Chicago rush hour traffic to be with me again.

... having lots of sex with this guy I fell in love with.

... unknowingly about to be surprised with a dream vacation to MAINE in October (prime foliage season, yo!) with that guy I fell in love with.

Life was pretty damn good 10 years ago. It was all still new and fresh. It wasn't anything like it is now, today, 10 years later. Nope.

Today... 10 years later...

all of my dreams have come true.

What about you? What was up with you 10 years ago?

Wordless Wednesday: Boxed in

2012-02-08T12:10:00.000-06:00

linking up with The Paper Mama

PYHO: done

2012-02-08T07:40:00.001-06:00

I completed one of the things I wanted to get done this year before turning 40 in September: I created, ordered, and received year one of Lovie's books. (It turned out better than I thought! Thank you sweet baby Shutterfly!)

During the compilation of the book, I noticed something that I've noticed on more than one occasion... we have very few pictures of Lovie with her Daddy's side of the family.

And here's the thing: They live 20 minutes away in the same damn city as us.

Yet we visit my family, who are split up (my parents) and in completely different areas, on the weekends. I make it a priority to see my family at least once a month. That means one weekend we haul our asses an hour and a half out to the boondocks to see Oma and my mom, and another weekend we drive about 30 minutes away to visit my dad.

But when do we see the in laws?

Why don't they come over?

Why don't we go to visit them, too?

Are the answers to these questions MY responsibility? This last question is one I'm seriously asking and seriously wanting an answer to. If my husband, who is more than able to pick up the phone and arrange things with his family, doesn't attempt to see his family am I supposed to? For the sake of Lovie?

I mean, if my husband was disabled or something, I can see this being my responsibility, but he's a quite capable man.

Before Lovie was in the picture, it didn't bother me much that we rarely saw them; I really dislike going over there. (They are not bad people and I really do feel bad writing this because I'm sure it seems as if I dislike them personally- which is NOT the case. I know they love and adore Lovie and I know they probably don't mean to make it seem like they don't care...) It's always ridiculously hot, they never open a window so there's a stench in the air and that plus the temperature seem to wrap itself around your throat. Plus it's a tiny place and crammed with 30 years of crap everywhere since MIL is a bit of a hoarder. So now when we do actually get over there with Lovie, there's absolutely nothing for Lovie to do and nowhere for her to go so that her and I are huddled around the coffee table in the living room while the rest of them are in the dining room. It's stupid. I know they're family and I really do want Lovie to know ALL of her family (she knows them but she never talks about them the way she does my family because she actually sees my family at least once a month opposed to once or twice a YEAR) but it's like there's no effort made by them.

And I know they love her to pieces so pick up the fucking phone and tell your son you want to see your ONE AND ONLY grandbaby already!! Because frankly, I'm done bringing it up. Lovie's first year, I brought it up a lot; then last year, I stopped bringing it up so much; and this year... I'm just done.

All that Matters

2012-02-07T09:43:00.001-06:00

I hate pink.

I've never been a fan of girly girls, either. You know the ones that squeal and giggle at everything? While wearing pink?

I mean, yeah I'm a female. I have big boobs and long hair, too. But I hate pink and I dislike girly girls. Always have, always will.

Except for one girly girl.

Mine.

See, while I hate pink and dislike girly girls, it seems that my girl loves pink and is a girly girl. At least right now at age 2.

She loves playing dress-up in the pink princess play dress (there's also a yellow one but she has to have the pink one) they have at school. So much so that the other day when we were leaving school, she flipped out when one of her BFFs was asking the teacher for help to put on the pink princess dress. "I want pink princess dress!" Lovie shrieked as her eyebrows burrowed deeply and she latched onto one end of the dress, starting a tug of war.

She loves the color pink so much so that when I dressed her in pink jeggings (yes, I said jeggings- they're damn cute on 2 year olds) on Saturday she squealed in delight- like a girly girl- and said, "pink pants!!"

"Yes baby, pink pants. You like pink, huh?"

"Yessss!" she answered with a smile washing over her face.

"What's your favorite color?"
"Pink!!"

"Of course it is," I replied.

She wins.

The husband and I agreed from the day we found out we were having a girl that we wouldn't bring pink into the house- at least not until she started asking for it.

Well, it's time.

She hasn't really come right out and asked for pink stuff but the color makes her so happy that I'm giving in. Just yesterday during my lunch break at Walmart, I bought her some leggings, a tutu, and a stuffed monkey- all for Valentine's day and all in pink.

And when we got home, I set up her pink princess tent (check out her socks- they're pink and white striped!).

A part of me wonders if she'd still love pink so much if we had inundated her with it from birth. You know- pink sheets on the crib mattress, pink pack n play, pink pink rattles, pink onesies, pink sleep n plays, pink socks, pink bibs, pink high chair, pink car seat, pink stroller...

But the thing is... my girl?... my girly girl who loves pink and princesses?... she's happy and smart and funny, and, did I mention happy?!?

And that's all that matters to me.

Passions: the Listicle

2012-02-06T07:33:00.000-06:00

Passions. What are my passions? What am I passionate about? Hmmm.

Obviously she's my number one passion. Clearly that's pretty obvious around here.

But so is being a mom. I'm very very passionate about being a mom. I love it. More than anything- well not more than her, but yeah. I love being a mom. It's something I waited a long time to be and it's like a dream come true for me.

Writing is another passion. Without it, I wouldn't be. I'm pretty certain of that.

And then there's Bryan Adams. Yeah, I'm sure eyes are rolling and that's fine. You have your passions, I have mine. And he's one of them.

As is my Oma. I love this woman so, so much. I just... she means so much to me. So much so that she definitely belongs closer to the top of my list.

As does my passion for kids, in general. The pureness... the innocence... the wonderment. I'm very passionate about kids and wish I could do more with kids. Like ensure that every child grow up in a loving, nurturing environment with plenty of food on the table. Oh what I wouldn't do to make that happen.

Oh how it's good to be back to the Listicle way of Mondays! Woot, woot!

Party Time photo challenge

2012-02-05T14:41:00.000-06:00

linking up with The Paper Mama

Things I've learned this week.

2012-02-03T10:48:00.001-06:00

Going to the park in the winter is the bomb. It's much less crowded and I don't have to worry about clothes clinging to me, nor do I sweat. It's a beautiful thing.

Plus I get to see this face and listen to her ask me to swing her higher and higher.

She's become quite the swing lover. She's come a long way from less than a year ago when she absolutely hated the swings. She still loves sliding, but man oh man is the swing the place to be.

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Not rinsing the conditioner out of my hair makes my hair less big and less flyaway. I like that. A lot. I also am really liking the color lately. It's getting super silver, but you know what? I think it looks pretty badass.

Also, I'm very tired lately. Does it show? I know I look bored in this photo- I'm at work, what I can say? - but I'm just so dang tired all the time. I'm lucky the little chica is OK with chilling out when we get home for the day cuz I'm not sure what I would do if she was like one of them kids that is non-stop action all the time.

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Just cuz this winter hasn't been cold enough or snowy enough, doesn't mean we can't still build snowmen.

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For the first time in like 20 years (~~probably~~ definitely more than that), I want to go to the beach. I'm looking forward to going to the beach.

It must be cuz I'm Fierce and (will be) Forty! ; )

oh womanhood

2012-02-02T07:50:00.000-06:00

Katrina and I watched some movie on the fancy VCR her family had, ate pizza and popcorn and candy before going to sleep in our sleeping bags on their living room floor. The next morning when I was in the bathroom peeing I looked down and saw blood in my undies. Instantly, my heart started beating fast and it dawned on me that I shouldn’t have cut the hair that was on me- down there- the night before. I panicked. I wiped myself and there was more blood. I started to cry as I was sure I was dying. All because I used the scissors I found behind the mirror to cut the hair down there. I sat there wondering what would happen to Katrina and her family once mine found out what happened and that I was dead.

I sat there on their toilet, crying, until I heard a knock on the door.

“How many pieces do you want?”

“What?!”

“How many pieces of bread do you want?” Katrina asked again. “For the toast. For the Nutella.” Yeah we were badass and well ahead of our time eating Nutella on toast for breakfast.

I asked her to come in to the bathroom and cried to her that I was dying. She saw the blood and told me she’d be right back.

“Christina, honey, are you OK?” Katrina’s step-mom sang through the closed door of the bathroom.

I finally allowed her to come in and she gave me a new pair of my cousin’s underwear to put on along with this thick, fluffy, white sticky thing that she put on the underwear where the blood was.

“You have your period,” she told me. “Hasn’t anyone told you about getting your period yet?”

She must’ve known by the look on my face and the tears in my eyes that the answer was a big fat No and proceeded to tell me that I was getting older and changing into a woman and getting my period and growing boobs (I was already wearing a regular bra by then- at age 10) was all a part of it.

She showed me where she kept the “pads” (which my mom always told me were “pads of paper” when I asked about similar ones that sat below the ceiling atop the shelf in our bathroom at home… and at that moment it finally made sense why she never let me use those “pads of paper” to write and draw on), and told me to take the one in my undies off after a while, roll it into a ball and into some toilet paper and throw it in the garbage, and use a new pad until there was no more blood… in about a WEEK.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t until I was with that same cousin, 20-some YEARS later, that I finally used a tampon for the first time (yes, I didn’t start using tampons till I was in my early 30s- LIFE-CHANGING EVENT!!), too.

Oh the joys of womanhood. (And holy hell I'm now realizing I've had my period now for nearly 30 years!!!!!)

1.) Last week we covered your Top 10 Life Stories…this week choose one and share all the details.

PYHO: blech

2012-02-01T08:11:00.000-06:00

I actually had something else planned (in my head) to write about for today's PYHO. It's been a while since I've participated and the original thing I planned was super fitting for the reason behind my lack of participation with PYHO- I just don't care much these days. But. I'll have to save that for another PYHO because I have something else to pour out of my head and heart. Something that's been bugging me for a month straight: I'm becoming quite hateful of preschool drop offs these days.

For the past two years (come March), Lovie and I have been going to school in the mornings bright and early: around 630 when the center opens.. Lovie was one of a small handful of kids to arrive that early. We would go in, the teachers would dote on Lovie, we'd chat about this and that- sometimes it even was relating to kids. The other few kids would all gather around Lovie before she could walk and then once she could walk, they'd all play together despite the fact that most were older. There wasn't ever much of a battle with dropping her off. She liked going to school.

Now... the past month especially... it's all changed. And very drastically.

And it's kind of pissing me off, to be frank.

This morning, for example, I made sure to be there at 630 on the nose so that she'd be one of the first ones there because I suspect that's why she's been freaking the F out this past month at drop offs. Because lately, there's like a dozen flippin kids there when we get there. At 630-645am. That's a lot of kids when it used to be 3 or 4 TOPS. And I swear to god most of them are all related and huddle together and stare when you walk in the room. And who likes to be stared at?

But this morning was no different than it's been for a month now. At 630 on the dot, there was already a good dozen kids already in the drop off room. Ugh.

Since realizing this is probably the reason why Lovie's been hating drop offs lately, I've been trying my best to ensure that she not know I'm irritated by it all as well. I try to stay upbeat and smiley and fun. We walk in and I say to the all the staring eyes, "Good morning!" They stare back. Lovie starts to whine and clutches onto me. I tell her how much I love her and that I'll see her after snack time like always. She starts to cry. The teacher comes over trying to coax her with cheerios or sitting at the big table. Lovie starts to scream as she reaches for me while the space between us grows. My heart breaks a little. Beady eyes all around. I force a smile, saying "I love you" as a I blow kisses as I exit the room. Her hands and arms reach for me as the tears flood her face and her scream echos inside my head all the way into work.

It sucks ass.

I know she's fine once she gets to go off into her room. But it just sucks ass that for a half hour every morning, she's got to be miserable.

I could bring her in later but then that takes away our time together that we have because it will mean working later and worse traffic which eats at our free time. And color me selfish, I enjoy being with my kid as much as possible.

Ugh, I have a headache thinking of all this.

friendship

2012-01-31T08:41:00.000-06:00

When third grade ended and school let out for the summer, I met my one and only best friend on the way home. We were both carrying bags full of junk collected from the school year and we both ended up crossing the street at the same time. Jennifer Manson* was a grade higher than me and lived a couple blocks away from me. We walked home together that day- I walked her home and then ran home to dump my bag of stuff and change out of my school uniform (Catholic school) before running back over to her house to play.

Lovie and her BFF

Jennifer Manson and I became fast friends. Best friends. We spent all summer together and were inseparable; I even went on vacation with her and her family. It was the best summer of my life: We were 8 and 9 years old, it was summertime, we didn’t have school, we could hang out all day and play- life was wonderful!

When school started again in September and Jennifer went on to 5^th grade while I started 4^th, we still remained best friends and still remained inseparable outside of school. I was even at her house that Fall late afternoon when my mom called- something she had never done before. It was the night my world changed, when I was told to say goodbye to my dad while we packed the car up with brown paper grocery store bags full of our personal belongings and drove out to my grandparents’ house for a couple weeks.

Despite being miles apart for a couple weeks, despite my parents making me change schools (from private to public), despite the complete meltdown of my family and home life, Jennifer and I still remained best friends. In fact, she and her family really helped make me feel normal and loved in a time when my whole world had been rocked to its core.

But then, less than a year after my parents split, Jennifer and her family moved away. And so did our friendship.

We’d like you to explore friendship. You can talk about a current friendship or one from your past, a friend you met over kindergarten snacks or happy hour at your first job. Examine your emotional interest in the friendship and the role it plays, or played, in your life.
The word limit for this prompt is 400 words. While that may not seem like many words to devote to a friend you’ve known for thirty years, try to provide us with a snapshot that encompasses your feelings about the friendship.

*fake name

January favorite

2012-01-30T08:26:00.000-06:00

linking up with The Paper Mama photo challenge

wanna pork?

2012-01-28T21:02:00.000-06:00

haha don't you just love this card? I'm quite tempted to order it for my husband. What for?

VALENTINE'S DAY!!

It's right around the corner, in case you forgot.

But then I saw this one and I know he would get a good chuckle out of it. Ack, I dunno! Tiny Prints has so many Valentine Cards to choose from! It's gonna be tough. And while we don't generally celebrate V-day, we do now that we have Lovie.

I thought that one would be cute for Lovie. But again, there are so many Valentines Day Greeting Cards to choose from!

I need to figure this out soon, that's for sure... only 17 days to go!

Check them out for yourself:

And follow them along on the Twitter, Pinterest, and like them on Facebook!

pictures don't really match the words but whatever.

2012-01-27T09:34:00.000-06:00

a pink princess dress. on my kid. it makes her happy so yeah, a pink princess dress on my kid. :)

A week after Lovie turned 2, she started flipping out during drop off at daycare in the morning. Just like that. Every morning for 8 straight school days, she flipped out when I dropped her off: arching back, screaming, crying with tears flooding her face, body flopped to the floor when not arched back.

When I would pick her up from school, she was fine. She was Lovie.

pink jeggings. on my kid. they're adorable and they were gifted so yeah. pink jeggings on my kid! :D

But the next morning, it was back to the screaming and crying and unhappy child.

The pediatrician had warned us that the Terrible Two's brought out a lot of independence but a lot of neediness, too... but this was crazy to me. I mean, all of a sudden, just like that things were going to be different?! And there was nothing I could but keep on trucking?

I started to dread school mornings. I didn't want to be the one to wake her. I contemplated changing hours at work to see if it was that she wasn't getting enough rest because I couldn't imagine putting her to bed any earlier (than 7- the bedtime she's had forever) and she wasn't acting out in this manner on the weekends when she could wake up on her own.

bathtime from the other night

Then last week happened. Monday we were both off for MLK day and everything was fine- though by the end of the day she had a fever. She stayed home Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday because she was still feverish (except for Thursday). Friday when I dropped her off, I was terrified. But she was OK. She whined a minute and latched onto my leg but was OK: no freakout.

And all this week? FINE! This morning, in fact, she ran into her room and leaped into her teacher's arms.

from last night: she had to have her hand constantly on me at all times as we sat watching Nick Jr.

Dudes, it's so good to have my sweet girl back. I mean, of course she has her moments (she threw her hugest tantrums last Thursday and Friday both- I'm talking screaming and crying for an hour practically {or so it seemed}- so it's not like I'm trying to say she's perfect), but for the most part this kid is unbelievably awesome, and *I* get to be her Mama.

I'm so blessed. Even during those rough days (with more to come, I'm sure), I'm so immensely blessed.

fierce

2012-01-26T14:46:00.000-06:00

So I did it.

I sent my BFF an email telling her I was choosing her to do something fabulous this year... the year we both turn... FORTY.

I'm thinking a weekend in NYC or Chicago or Vegas.

Just her and I.

No men, no kids.

A swanky, overpriced hotel with a ridiculously nice spa package.

Eating good food.

Drinking good booze.

Laughing.

Crying.

Laughing.

Clinking our glasses to the past.

Raising them super high toward the future.

We're already fierce, but now we're gonna be...

FORTY and FIERCE.

Look out!

WW: Zip line fun

2012-01-25T07:58:00.001-06:00

from her party on the 7th.
want more from her party (and/or bday)? click here, here, here, or hey why not here!

linking up with Parenting By Dummies

wow wow Lovie

2012-01-24T15:09:00.000-06:00

before 40

2012-01-23T17:30:00.000-06:00

been quite ill the past several days and before that Lovie was sick. it's been a fun week and a half.

the past couple of days i've been doing a lot of laying around and it got me to thinking when i wasn't completely passed out.

i'm gonna be 40 this year- in less than 9 months. FORTY.

i never imagined seeing 21 let alone 40 so this is a BFD to me. and now that i have Lovie, things are different... i have to care more about myself so that she has a Mama for as long as possible. and right now, i'm doing the opposite. everything has been all about her the past two years. all about her. and i'm not saying i'm regretful of that because i am absolutely not. it's just taken quite the toll on my health.

besides being obese (which i was prior to pregnancy so this is not because of her), i've been getting sick a lot. it's not right for someone to be as sick as me. sometimes it's just little colds, but more than not it ends up turning into something more debilitating. and it sucks. it takes so much out of me- and out of my time with and for Lovie.

so there's one thing i'm absolutely sure that's going to happen before i turn 40: i will haul my ass into a doctor and do whatever i have to find out what the hell is wrong with me. i will get a physical and keep hounding them until they can tell me WTF is up with my immune system (or the lack of it).

i'm pretty terrified to do this because what if there's something seriously wrong? i'm scared there is; i mean, why else am i sick like every other couple of weeks?!? but i have to do this. i absolutely have to. for me, for Lovie, for my husband.

some other goals to accomplish by my Fortieth:

* finish Lovie's 1 year book (up to 9 months now) and 2 year book
* go down two pant sizes
* get new wedding/anniversary bands for our 5 year wedding anniversary in June (we'll have been together 12 years)
* start being more active again- walking when i can, taking the stairs
* do something ALONE at least once a month- even if it's running out to Target
* get out to a dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse with the hubs alone (it's our favorite and we haven't been since days before Lovie's birth)
* take a weekend trip to NYC to visit my BFF/cousin - alone - to celebrate our 40th birthdays (she's 6 months older than me)
* start knitting again- and reading more
* start writing more again
* and, again, the number one thing to do before turning 40 is get myself healthier

just a personal opinion but...

2012-01-20T11:08:00.000-06:00

someone's feeling MUCH better

2012-01-20T08:28:00.000-06:00

Tis the Season

2012-01-19T07:24:00.000-06:00

this week has been rough for a certain little one.

she's been home all weeks sans for a visit with grandpa on Monday. but by lunchtime Monday, i knew something was wrong when she didn't want a hot dog OR fries! blasphemy!

so all week i've been coming to work before the sun rises and only staying a couple hours before returning home to be with my Lovie and letting the hubs go off to work. he makes the big bucks after all.

and the girl is glued to me, sitting on me at all times unless she's sleeping.

poor thing. thank goodness for boogie wipes, team umizoomi, and modern technology allowing me to save my sanity from Nick Jr.

i'm pretty sure the fever broke in the middle of the night but we're keeping her home today to be safe (though that's what i thought yesterday only for her to be at 101 all day). hopefully tomorrow we go back to "normal."

TAKE ACTION!

2012-01-18T08:20:00.000-06:00

just click on the photo and fill out the info on the right (email address and zip code) and TAKE ACTION! if you blog, you WILL want to do this. so just DO IT!

Dear Bryan Adams,

2012-01-18T07:33:00.000-06:00

I can't even believe that I'm about to write what I'm about to write: I skipped out on the show last night.

: (

Big whoop, right? I mean, what do you care? You don't know me so no love lost; I'm sure you still went on and rocked the Chicago Theatre and all your fans in attendance just fine. I just so happened not to be one of them.

And for me, that sucks. Hard.

I love you, man. I love seeing you live because I love seeing your passion come to life right in front of my eyes. It's infectious- the love you have for your music. Hell, even my black husband (not that black folk can't enjoy your music; we just always joke around that you spot him at the shows because he's easy to spot in a sea of white folk, heh) likes you and respects you after I've dragged him to several concerts. The last one we went to was back in May 2009 and it was by far, the most amazing show I've seen from you because it was just you, your voice, your guitar, and a piano player. It was the way music was meant to be heard live, I feel. Not to be too corny here, but it was like being in Heaven for me seeing you live, raw, and so intimate. Yup, that show was back when I was a couple months pregnant with the love of my life who, by the way, is part of the reason I missed the show last night.

She's been a little feverish and super clingy. And that means Mama (that's me) has to rock her to sleep. I mean, of course I don't have to rock her to sleep but she seems to love it (when she's sick) as do I, so I gotta take advantage of the cuddles while I can. Cuz she's 2 and you'll see when your little Mirabella Bunny is 2 how 2 year olds roll. They're these little firecrackers. Hehe, so friggin much fun to be around, but they can be tiring, too. And look out if they don't get their way. So when you can grab snuggles from them, you do. And that's what I've been doing the past couple days.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your time in Chicago and I hope the fans treated you right so that you come back again soon... and hopefully you left last night cuz it's damn cold this morning.

Cheers,

christina

oh hey.

2012-01-17T08:45:00.000-06:00

things have been busy.

friday we were late getting started due to the snow from thursday night- and that sorta put things in a funk for me around here.

saturday we went to gymnastics, came home to nap, then headed over to my cousin's house to play for a bit. they forgot about Lovie's birthday party on the 7th (thought it was the 8th), so they felt super bad and begged us to come over. and Lovie got a couple more presents to open. so she's been opening gifts every single weekend since Christmas. it was no surprise that when we visited my dad yesterday (was off for MLK day), she asked to open presents. heh.

sunday we stayed home. Lovie played a bit, watched some TV, took a 3.5 hour nap; we did laundry, cooked, more laundry.

yesterday Lovie and i went to visit my dad for a bit. he's on our cell phone package and needed a new one so we headed over to the store after throwing some snow balls around. then we stopped for hot dogs and Lovie and i headed home as she did nothing but run around the AT&T store the entire time we were there (probably close to an hour) and was, therefore, ass tired. she woke after the 20 minute drive home and even though i laid her down in her crib and she stayed in there for another hour or so, she never napped- just talked and played with her dolls. as a result, i ended up putting her to bed an hour early and she didn't fuss. instead, she laid on me as i rocked her to sleep as i softly sung to her. it was so magical- rocking my girl to sleep, watching her eyes slowly close. peace filled the room and my heart. tears streamed out of my eyes. i'm immensely blessed.

today Lovie's still at home. she was warm last night and super clingy. after sleeping for nearly 12 hours, she was still a little warm and i didn't want to risk her going to school and her temp spiking to the point they call me and i lose today and tomorrow at work.

tonight i get to see Bryan Adams. assuming the snow doesn't hit too hard and my girl is ok.

in between it all, any free time i've had the past several days, have been spent glued to the computer trying to create Lovie's baby book. as of late last night, i'm done from birth to month three and at about 40 pages! sheesh this is gonna take forever.

cheers.

How To: Art Masterpiece

2012-01-13T12:06:00.001-06:00

Note: this masterpiece shown in this poster was one that took weeks to accomplish. results may vary.

stop the bitchen

2012-01-12T12:51:00.000-06:00

It’s snowing now and only 27 degrees.
Yesterday it was 55 and we wouldn’t freeze.

But you wanted an orange and Cheerios.

Demanded as I drove, keeping me on my toes.

“Orange!” you shouted from the back seat.

“Cheerios!!” you chanted to your own beat.

So onward we drove home from work and school.

And into the house we went as my hand you pulled.

“Hi Little Cat,” you said to the whiney one.

“Hi Zoe,” you said to the fat cat weighing a ton.

I smiled as I tussled your curls.

"Orange?! CHEERIOS!!” you shrieked as your twirled.

“Yes ma’am,” I answered, heading toward the kitchen.

Anything to stop all this maddening bitchen.

ummm...

2012-01-11T14:37:00.000-06:00

10 in 10 on 10

2012-01-11T04:26:00.002-06:00

yesterday was the 10th so starting at 930 in the morning, i started taking pictures every hour for 10 hours. wanna see?

from left to right top row:

930- part of my desk at work
1030- leaving the bathroom
1130- the opposite corner (from 930's photo) of my desk at work
1230- wait, is that actual work?!? could be, might be, it is!!!
130- water (glass #2 for the day)

from left to right bottom row:

230- garbage after throwing out some work from two years ago
330- my girl's daycare is right across this intersection!
430- on the swings! weeeee! (it's never 50 degrees in January in Chicago)
530- time to color
630- Blues Clues

i bet you're dying to live a day in my life, huh??

in one week

2012-01-10T13:43:00.000-06:00

i will finally be seeing this man live in concert again.

be still my beating heart, i cannot wait! : )

Randoms

2012-01-10T11:12:00.000-06:00

* Last night whilst the three of us were eating dinner and Lovie chatted away between demanding more ketchup for her french fries (quit judging: she eats vegetables by the bowl full, too!), I decided to count the words in her sentences and it dawned on me: this little chica speaks in full sentences! Not all the time, nothing consistent, but wow. "Look, there's Little Cat under the chair." "Come on Little Cat, let's go watch TV."

* At her 2 year doctor visit, the pediatrician told us that the Terrible Two's would be full of fun times, but also some trying times, too. He mentioned that she may get more needy. And, of course, he also told us how fortunate we were that Lovie loves vegetables but that we shouldn't be surprised in the least if that changes soon. That visit was last Tuesday. Every day since that last visit, Lovie's been fighting me during school drop-offs- something she's never really done before. She's not wanting to take off her coat and hat, she's screaming for me not to leave and tries breaking free from the teachers hold. Lovie started going to this center at 9 weeks old. She knows and loves the teachers and her friends there. We've changed nothing in our routine. Nothing. I brought this up to some other mama's and several of them commented that their 2 year olds behaved in the same manner right around the time they turned 2. GO FIGURE! I guess my Pedi knows what he's talking about after all, huh? Although I'm really hoping Lovie continues to be the oddball with her love of vegetables. I'll continue to show her some extra lovin' when we get home at night (I'm loving the snuggles on the couch as we watch Kai Lan) and hope this drop-off hate passes soon.

* I'm doing a 10 on 10 today: 10 photos every hour for 10 hours on the 10th day of the month. I started at 9:30am and while I've only taken two photos (will post tomorrow), some things have become crystal clear: work is sloooooow. Ugh. I know I'll get slammed soon so I'm trying to just enjoy the slow pace right now but ... yikes, it's kinda scary how slow things are for me lately.

Party recap

2012-01-09T09:22:00.001-06:00

Lovie's 2nd birthday party was Saturday and it was a blast. Better than anticipated, really. Absolutely no regrets for doing this. Sure she's still very young and won't remember this party, but she'll have pictures and some video to help remind her. And she had the time of her young life (and we had very little set up and clean up to do!).

Look at that smile!

When we first arrived, she didn't really think much of it. We were just at Gymnastics (as she calls it). But then her first little friend from school came and she started getting super excited as she wanted to show her friend around.

notice her shirt? it's a big 2 with Team Umizoomi characters on it- matching her invite

They jumped on the trampoline. They dove into the ball pit. The ran around squealing and giggling.

After a bunch more people started to arrive, the teachers gathered everyone around a large circle and sang Happy Birthday to my Lovie who sat with a big grin on her face. Then they brought out a huge parachute and laid it down for everyone to grab a hold of and start to shake. And sing Happy Birthday. Then Lovie laid down on top of the parachute and everybody shook her back and forth. Then others joined in.

They played with puppets. One of the teachers hid a bunch of small toys around the place so they had to run around and collect them and bring them back. They brought out a buttload of pom poms for the kids to play with.

They hooked up a huge swing that all the kids were able to sit on and ride. (This was funny to watch because all the parents grabbed their cameras to take photos.)

They built a fort and played hide and seek (Lovie hid by covering her eyes with her hands- *cutest thing ever*) for a couple of minutes before hiding Lovie in the back room for everyone to find. After a minute, they directed everyone to the front of the gym to wait as they brought Lovie out in a car.

And it was the cutest 30 seconds of her life. I swear to god. She was smiling from ear to ear as one of the teachers wheeled her out in circles while everyone clapped and the Beatles Birthday song played in the background.

Then the teacher got her out of the car and brought her to the cake (Team Umizoomified with little toppers I DIY'd), lit the candles, we all sang and she blew out her candles.

The kids ate pizza and cake and went back out to play for another 10-15 minutes.

The party ended with another sock puppet show followed by bubbles. Lots of bubbles (they brought out a fan and huge thing of bubbles they placed in front of the fan causing all these little kids to try to pop all the bubbles).

After the last bubble was popped, the teachers announced that all the kids needed to get their socks and shoes on so they could get a goodie bag. The party was over but hopefully not forgotten for a while.

Nearly two hours of smiles, giggles, laughter erupting from all corners of the room. It was pure fun, fun, fun.

I'm pretty darn sure we'll be doing this again in another year, too. Yahoo for winter birthdays keeping us indoors!

Bounce this.

2012-01-06T12:41:00.000-06:00

Because it's clear that you've been on the edge of your seat waiting for this post, without further ado, I present to you, dear reader, the top 3 viewed posts from 2011 (according to the Stats tab):

With the most page views (no friggin clue why), here's #1.
Coming in second place (not really too shocking given the title), here's #2.
And bringing up the rear (also not too surprising since I linked it in the comments of a larger viewed blog), here's #3.

None have a thing to do with Lovie. Meh, your loss not mine.

And for more fun, let's take a look at the top three Search Keywords that made you click over:

bouncing boobs
i don't have pms
monchichi

everybody craaaazy shake!

2012-01-06T08:08:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow. Her party is finally tomorrow! : )

I designed the invites myself. Not too shabby, eh? Well I don't think they are (I mean did you see I got a photo of Lovie inside of Bot's belly-screen?!??). I think they're damn cute, tyvm!

Because I blurred it all out, the party is going to be (for little kids) at a little kid gym place...The place Lovie's been going to since October for her "Gymnastics." She loves this place. Loves it. So it was really fitting to have the party here. And the price really couldn't be beat- especially considering we don't have to worry about doing any kind of set up, clean up, entertaining, etc. Nope. We just show up with a cake. Play. Pizza will be delivered at 3:30 (party starts at 3). We'll eat pizza and have cake- after singing Happy Birthday to my girl, of course. Then it's back to play play play!

My header at the top of the blog? That's from the last time we were at Gymnastics. They have a ball pit which Lovie adores. Ack, she's going to have SO much fun. She always does but once she realizes that everyone is there for HER... eek! :) I can't wait to see her reaction.

I'm a bit nervous because every single person RSVP'd that the were coming except for a small handful of people so we're going to be at the max the place allows! And then there's the chance that some additional child(ren) will show up as my husband's family kind of does their own thing.

I can't worry about any of that, though; we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

My main focus is Lovie having a blast... and somehow, someway getting some pictures of it all to help us remember. We can only do what we can do and the H and I have already discussed that we would swap taking pictures and playing whenever we could. So fingers crossed we get some decent photos (I'd love to have a group shot of *all* kids but not sure how/if that could work with 20 kids.)

Eek, this is gonna be so much fun!!

After work today, I pick up the cake (just a generic one from Costco... I made Millie, Geo, and Bot characters to stick into the cake. Was hoping to keep the cake in the car overnight but our temps are supposed to be in the 50s today!).
Bottled water and juice boxes are in the hallway at home.
Little goody bags assembled and ready to go (with a Team Umizoomi sticker- that I made- on them)!
Pizza to be delivered at 3:30.
Paper plates, napkins, plastic forks, candles all in a bag ready to go, too.
Team Umizoomi "2" shirt ready to be worn by the birthday girl.

This is gonna be soooo much fun.

And then on Sunday, we get to go to a 1 year old's pizza party! So it's definitely going to be a busy weekend. How about you?

the great escape

2012-01-05T09:32:00.002-06:00

(to lighten things up)

she tried, at least.

never got free though.

not yet.

and NO, we're not looking into a Big Girl bed, tyvm!

This is one of those things that I do NOT want to know.

2012-01-05T09:28:00.000-06:00

My heart aches right now.

In the cubicle across from me sits a woman, around 62. She's a wife, a mother, a grandmother. And she's a survivor of suicide.

Her youngest son killed himself on this date, 22 years ago.

How do you get past something like that? Why does something like that even happen in this world? But it does. All the time.

When I was 15, suicidal thoughts entered my mind a lot. I sincerely hated life and just didn't understand what the point was to continue on. But every time I put more thought into it, I always thought of my nephew (only had one at the time) and my parents. As much as my parents pissed me off, how would they feel if I killed myself? And my nephew, then 2, how would he feel? Would he someday wonder if it was his fault that I killed myself?

So I never went through with it.

Obviously.

Thankfully.

Plenty of people do, though. Plenty of people don't think there's any hope left. Plenty of people are so submerged in the dark that they can't see any more glimmer of light to hang on.

So they end the pain and suffering.

And they leave their survivors to wonder so many things, to feel so many horrendous things.

My coworker, she has another son who is my age. I imagine she had to go on for him??

Ack, my heart just aches right now for her. I just don't understand how this kind of pain, this kind of heartache can even exist. It's just cruel.

Come Play with Me: 5

2012-01-04T07:59:00.000-06:00

It's my Monday today, but it's really Wednesday. Super cool. Something else that's cool is that I have another edition of Come Play with Me Guest Post series and today's piece is written by one of my favorite bloggers and friend, Monica from Peeper Summarized. I swear to you, every time I click into her blog, I end up in tears in one way or the other because her writing is that touching, that moving, that emotional, that beautiful. And her love of motherhood is sooo inspiring.

Anyhow, let's get on with Monica's take on 2012...

*****************************************************

When Christina asked who might like to write a little somethin' about what they learned this year or what they were looking forward to for next year I shot her an email right away. Duh! Of course! I could knock this out in a heartbeat. New Years is my thing.

It's not the Auld Lange Syne, party horns and champagne aspect of the new year that I love so much. It's the fresh start. Who doesn't love the opportunity to turn over a new leaf? Granted, this is a completely made-up time point and on January 1 none of us wakes up fundamentally any different than we were when we fell asleep on December 31. But possibility towers over every failed attempt and discouragement in our past. We get reacquainted with the idea of our own potential and that is what I love.

So imagine how stymied I was to sit down day after day and find that I wasn't inspired to write ANYTHING. There's been plenty going on so that wasn't the problem. Or maybe it was the problem: too busy to reflect about the past and future. For the past few years a theme or mantra, if you will, for the coming year just finds me. This isn't something that I have to consciously think about - something rich just filters out of all the reflection that seems to occur so naturally around this time of year. Usually, the theme/mantra/battle cry is something absolutely revolutionary to me. It drives the coming year in a way that New Years resolutions just can't do.

For example, in 2010 I was overwhelmed with gratitude. All I could think about as the new year rang in was how grateful I was that me, my daughter and my husband were alive and healthy.

In 2011 there was a lot of work to be done: history was waiting to be written. I had a necklace made with this exact phrase printed on it. I wore that necklace every time I anticipated a difficult day or any time I needed to be reminded that with every passing moment I was in control of which part of me would show up - and I wanted it to be good.

This year we did all that work and the reward for it is that in the coming year nearly everything we know is going to change. For a control freak like me, this is disquieting at best and paralyzing at worst. Even good changes are still changes ... but that makes for one crappy mantra.

Tonight after Ada was in bed I lay covered up on the couch thinking about all the stuff I should be doing. Early pregnancy fatigue has settled in heavily and I'm dragging myself around to get the bare minimum basics taken care of - it's a miracle if I stay up much past 9:30. Laziness has it's silver lining though. In the middle of all that stillness a little voice in my head said something and it all clicked. Angels sang, clouds parted and I knew what 2012 would be all about for me. The little voice that represents the steadier side of me whispered confidently:

"You are exactly where you are meant to be."

Some people have known this their whole lives but this was a freaking revelation for me! From Buddhist reading I know, like, in-my-head-know-it, that this is what a good buddha should strive to know. But knowing it in your thoughts and really knowing it in your soul are such completely different things. This isn't the kind of thing that you can try to know either - your life experience just has to bring it to you. Once you realize it though... Click! you really know it. And my God, that is one incredibly freeing thing to realize. The guilt and angst of always feeling the need to be somewhere else doing something else has vanished. What an amazing gift.

It's OK to have been wherever you were - it was the right thing then.
It's OK to be headed somewhere intentionally - that's how we create our lives.
But it's also OK to be right where you are right now.
This is exactly where you are meant to be.

Turns out that there is a sweet prayer attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux that sums it all up so nicely:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Happy New Year to all and may you find your battle cry for 2012!

*****************************************************

See what I mean? Does she not have a way with words?!

Please go on over to Peeper Summarized and check out more about Monica and her family and become as infatuated with her place (blog) as I am! I dare you NOT to.

Thanks for playing, Monica! : )

Changing perfection

2012-01-03T18:24:00.001-06:00

Two years ago I had a 5 DAY old baby.

I had cried so many times- happy tears and HOLYOMGWHATTHEHELLISHAPPENINGHEREANDWHYWON'TSHESTOPCRYING tears- I lost count.

Two years ago today, my baby doll looked like this:

Perfection. Absolute perfection.

But I was starving her and that's why she was so unhappy. I remember commenting to my husband how everyone said and everything I read said that babies sleep so much the first couple weeks. Not my baby. My baby wasn't happy those first several days home. At all. She never slept more than a couple hours at a time that first week. She was up crying way more than she was sleeping.

Then we went to her first pediatrician appointment and the doctor talked to us at length about my nursing. We returned for a second visit two days after the first visit. My baby was losing weight instead of gaining weight.

My baby was starving.

And it was my fault.

Again the doctor talked to us at length. He even asked that I nurse in front of him. I was mortified in my head over this fact but I didn't let that stop me from making sure my baby was fed properly. So I whipped out my gigantic boob and started feeding my girl who latched on wonderfully (always did from the get go).

He suggested we keep nursing and start supplementing because he had a feeling either I wasn't producing enough milk or my girl was just a hungry one.

So we returned two days later for our third appointment in one week.

Finally she gained weight. Finally she was sleeping more. Finally she stopped crying so dang much. Finally she wasn't starving anymore.

I continued to nurse and supplement. I pumped after every feeding and never got more than one ounces (after ONE FULL HOUR of pumping).

Finally, a week before returning to work when Lovie was 8 weeks old, I stopped nursing and pumping and just gave her formula. It was a decision made with a heavy heart as breastfeeding was the only plan I ever had. But a decision I was almost immediately grateful for having made as soon as I did because I was finally able to spend some time with my girl one on one. And not one on one plus a breast pump.

Anyway... two years later and I have a 26.5 pound, 35 inches tall little girl.

My how things change.

But she's still perfection. Absolute perfection.

2

2012-01-02T18:40:00.000-06:00

New Year, New Toys!

2012-01-01T21:06:00.000-06:00

Since Lovie's birthday falls a mere 4 days after Christmas and days just before the new year, she'll always have a bunch of NEW stuff to ring in the New Year.

Big 2012 hits include...

The Shopping Cart (Christmas gift from Grandpa)

yes those are balloons- leftover from her balloon birthday bash we created for her on Thursday.

The Laptop Computer (Bday gift from Gma and Gpa)

this thing annoys me. really. she turns it on and then it talks and repeats the same damn things over and over again. and she has no clue how to operate it so it just repeats over and over again until it shuts down. i'm glad she likes it and i'm sure once she learns how to work it better she'll like it even more, but in the meantime... argh.

The Jack in the box and Spinning top (from Santa)

The drum (Bday gift from mama and daddy)

Anything crayon/coloring related (Bday gift from mama and daddy)

i actually had to hide this already. it's a small, portable easel with paper on one side and a dry erase board on the other.

the dry erase side is with CRAYONS that work on the board or paper.

it's very cool but it gets old having to wipe it clean every 20 seconds.

(not pictured are these animal crayons and huge thing of paper my cousin gave her for her Bday)

The Kitchen (Christmas gift from mama and daddy- this got 2 hours of non stop play on Christmas day but hasn't been touched much since... except for the phone, she's constantly looking for the phone)

Puzzles (from Santa)

Baby doll bed (Christmas gift from Grandma)

That's about it. She got a couple other things (like a sit and spin, an Ernie doll, etc) that she likes just fine, too. But she didn't get inundated with merchandise. Thankfully. That said, we do still have her kid birthday party for her in six days so I'm not really sure what that will leave us with. I really and truly hope that people limit their gifts to crayons or something small if they get anything at all. We're just looking forward to getting all the littles together to play (being held at a little kid gym)!

What kind of loot are you looking forward to playing with this year?

New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T12:24:00.000-06:00

I was gonna do a 2011 review of my blog but... it's just gonna take up too much bloody time, frankly. And I just don't think anyone cares that much.

So instead, enjoy a video I made for Lovie's 2nd year:

2011 was another great year for us. My sweet girl grew so much and turned into quite the little girl (sniff, sniff she's definitely not a baby anymore). And I couldn't ask for anything more.

Here's wishing you all a Happy and Healthy 2012!

Waking up to balloons

2011-12-30T21:06:00.000-06:00

December 29, 2011

2011-12-30T10:43:00.000-06:00

I still haven't recapped our Christmas and that makes me sad- because it was AWESOME- but I couldn't really touch on it until after Lovie's birthday.

My girl turned TWO yesterday.

My big girl.

My sunshine. My love. My life.

Originally I wanted to do something special with her but because she loves going to school, we decided to just let her go to school and then celebrate there and after school. So yesterday was damn busy for me.

It actually started on the 28th when I spent nearly 2 hours blowing up balloons to cover the floor of Lovie's bedroom so when she woke she'd see something- a room full of balloons- she hadn't seen before. Something to make her day more special, you know? After the balloons were done, I spent another several hours on the computer trying to finalize her 2nd year video- which still isn't finished.

When we woke on the 29th, Lovie was surprised by the balloons (I do have some pictures just no time to get them off my camera) but pretty much over it as soon as we left. Then it was all about donuts because I told her we would stop to bring in donuts to school- for her birthday. So the entire car ride in to school on slick roads consisted of singing about Donuts! Dough-nuts! Dough-nuts! It's time to get the dough-nuts! Over and over again. We sang about these donuts so much that by the time we were driving home after a busy day at school, she still remembered the song and started singing it! =D

I left work early to pick up the cupcakes I was bringing in to her school for their afternoon snack.

Check out the cupcake toppers I made- by hand- for $1.99 (cost of lollipop sticks):

One side with Ni Hao Kai-Lan character, other side with Lovie's 2

Then I met my mom at her school at 3 where Lovie and some of the others were just waking up or still sleeping. She woke up quickly once she saw us but was a bit whiny (she likes to snuggle after waking from a nap until she's ready to get going) and stuck to me like velcro until everyone woke up and it was time to get the chairs for snack. Then I told her that she needed to help out with the chairs and sit down for her snack so that we could all sing Happy Birthday to her.

At first she was really happy and excited about the cupcakes and the Kai-Lan characters (it's one of her favorite shows- she even says Hello, Bye, and Thank You in Chinese). But then we started singing to her after lighting a little 2 candle and she was like, WTF:

hehe she cracks me up!

Once we got done singing to her, she blew out her candle like she'd done it a hundred times. Then she spent about half an hour sticking her finger in the frosting and then licking her finger.

She's never been much of a sweets person, but I'm glad she at least enjoyed the frosting.

After she was done, we left daycare and went home. Lovie watched a little TV while I tried getting most of the balloons out of her bedroom and into the front of the house and her playroom. I ended up taping a good dozen to the walls just to get them off the floor.

When daddy got home, he brought her a hot dog and fries of which she chowed down on. Then we lit a candle on a small piece of cake I picked up when I got the cupcakes, sang happy birthday to her, and she, once again, blew out her candle like a pro. She opened all her presents and played for a bit then got her PJ's on, drank some milk while watching a little TV before heading to her bedroom for some stories and bed.

She was asleep by 8 (Mama was asleep by 815) and today she's home with daddy while Mama "works."

And there you have it. A run down of Lovie's 2nd birthday. I'll probably post pictures from our little party at home at another time, but until then, just know it went really, really well.

And we still have her kid party coming up next Saturday, January 7th! I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Happy Happy Birthday

2011-12-29T05:16:00.000-06:00

Happiest of Birthdays to the sweetest, cutest, most wonderfully awesome little chica I know. My Lovie. The past two years have been nothing shy of amazing and somehow manage to get more and more awesome with each passing day.

Thank you for making all my dreams come true and changing my life two years ago. Thank you for making me complete. Thank you for you.

I cannot wait to see what this next year has in store for us.

I love you more than words could ever say.

Mama

you're only a day away

2011-12-28T04:31:00.003-06:00

1 more day till Lovie's the big TWO.

To celebrate, I'll be posting a favorite photo of Lovie from 2011 every day until the 29th- her 2nd birthday. This was anything but easy to decide on. And I'm sure I'm leaving out so many wonderful (to me) photos but for the sake of sanity, here's my number 1 favorite from the year:

This was taken on the very last day of July in the park about 4 blocks from our house. Lovie was barely 19 months old. It depicts her beautifully I think- her smile, that face, her sweetness... her. And tomorrow she'll be two. It's really crazy to me. She's changed SO much this year, yet she's still my itty bitty girl who quiets when I softly sing to her, who studies my eyes when I change her diaper. I miss the coos and the absolute need for me at all times, but I really REALLY love playing with her, talking to her. I adore watching her grow and learn every single day. And her love of life is so contagious. But still... she's TWO tomorrow. And time just isn't slowing down one iota!

2011-12-27T04:41:00.001-06:00

2 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

Yes, technically these are two photos in one but so be it. My game, my rules! ;) The top one of Lovie and me was taken by me in April. It's one of my favorites of us together and I make it a point to have a lot of Mommy and Me photos of us. I was so tired, it was probably 8 in the morning, I still had mascara on from the day before, I wasn't showered, our hair was just thrown back... but it's us: Lovie and me. And that's why it's my 2nd favorite. And tied for 2nd is the bottom photo of Lovie and her dad taken just last month in November. She was fussing a bit after napping and daddy went to check on her and after a while of silence, I went to check on them both and this was what I found. It just doesn't get much sweeter than this.

2011-12-26T06:50:00.001-06:00

3 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This was taken back in February and I just adore it. I adore her face, those cheeks, those lips, those eyes. I adore her Yeah?! look. I adore the fact that the tippy top of the head of her baby doll she was glued to for a couple months after receiving it is in the photo. I just adore HER! And I cannot believe in three short days, she will be TWO!

December Favorite

2011-12-25T22:52:00.000-06:00

I can't even say enough about why this is my favorite photo of December. It was just taken yesterday, Christmas Eve, and every time I look at this photo or just think about it, I well up. That there is my dear grandmother whose first name happens to be Lovie's middle name. Oma means the world to me; she's the most amazing woman I know and probably ever will know. She's also been very ill and has pretty much given up on life and claims to be ready to die. I've come to terms with this- as much as it pains me. I have no desire to lose my Oma, but I'd much rather her be in peace than live in misery. And right now, she's pretty miserable. Unless Lovie is around. That smile... that's how I see Oma in my head whenever I think of her. I don't see a women who is rail thin and suffering. I see a woman full of SO much life and SO much love. And that's how Lovie will remember her, too. Because of photos like this. Because of the stories I will share when I tell her why her middle name is what it is. Because that's who Oma is and always will be.

{participating in the Paper Mama photo challenge}

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T12:32:00.001-06:00

4 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This was taken just last month after we had gotten home from school and work- and after Lovie opened up a present from my BFF cousin. A soft and plus elephant, which Lovie hugged and loved on immediately. She's SUCH a sweetheart, my Lovie.

And since it's Christmas day, here's a sneak peek at what transpired in our home earlier as Lovie discovered her present from Mama and Daddy:

We spent about two hours putting it together, and she played with it for about two hours non-stop after discovering it so we're even. ;D

It's been a very Merry Christmas here- hope it is wherever you are, too!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T08:29:00.000-06:00

5 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This one was taken on a hot (oxymoron but true) October day at the pumpkin farm. It's a great example of Lovie doing what makes her incredibly happy- getting ready to slide. I love so much about this picture, but especially her.

It's Christmas Eve so you get an added bonus photo of Lovie... from one year ago today:

Merry Christmas!!

top 10 till 2 continues

2011-12-23T04:49:00.003-06:00

6 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

OK so this is really two pictures in one but I couldn't help it because both of these needed to be in the top 10. They just needed to be. They're actually both from April (insane that she's wearing a short sleeve dress in April outside!!). It kills me the way she's looking up at my mom in the left photo, and the one on the right with my dad and her... just so sweet. Both of my parents adore her to pieces and I think it really shows in these photos.

top 10 till 2 continues

2011-12-22T04:48:00.003-06:00

7 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This was taken back in March while we were trying to get out the door to visit Grandpa. That face. Those eyes. That smile. It's why my heart keeps beating.

top 10 till 2 continues

2011-12-21T04:45:00.000-06:00

8 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This one was taken in August. It's not the greatest of photos as far as clarity and all that jazz is concerned, but her face- the expression of pure joy and glee- is priceless. I adore the love she has for life and absolutely everything that comes her way.

top 10 countdown to 2 continues

2011-12-20T04:58:00.000-06:00

9 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This was taken in very early June on vacation to a place we travel to every year to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I think this is around the time when it dawned on me that my baby girl is really growing into a beautiful little kid. Wow.

boo lights

2011-12-19T15:13:00.000-06:00

I don't remember a lot about stuff we did or didn't do as kids. My parents split when I was 9 and I think it hit me so hard that I've blocked out a lot of my youth. That and the amount of booze I drank and pot smoked back in the day may have impaired my memory. We had traditions, don't get me wrong. Like every Christmas Eve was spent at my maternal grandparents home. Period, end of story. St. Nick visited on St. Nick's day (December 6th) and left an orange, an apple, some walnuts and some chocolates in our stocking. Every year. I do remember attending Christmas mass several times, too. But that's really about it when it comes to traditions around the holidays (or in general, really).

I think it's because of this that I want to have traditions for Lovie. I want her to look back on her youth with very fond memories. I want her to talk to her children one day about the things she once did with her Mama and Daddy.

I have very little from my youth- very few pictures, no mementos (no report cards, class pictures, little drawings, etc). My mom can't remember how old I was when I (fill in the blank). I was the baby of the family and, well, she didn't want to be married anymore long before they split when I was 9.

I need Lovie's life to be different.

I can't promise anything about the state of our marriage (though I do hope and pray it will remain in tact for always and ever amen), but I can promise her that I will do what I can, when I can to be her Mama (by that, I mean to really involve myself as Mamabear) and to remember. And the only way I can assure that I remember is by taking pictures and writing it down. Must write it down (or blog- same difference in 2011, right?)

So that's why we headed out to the Zoo Saturday night. Stupidly.

We layered our clothes, packed plenty of snacks, loaded the car, drove for 45 minutes, waited in line to enter the parking lot (still in our warm car, still listening to "Santa's Music") for 20 additional minutes, paid $9 to park, found a parking spot, unloaded out of the car, paid $27 to enter the zoo, walked for two hours in the dark smelling.. the zoo... in certain areas. We saw some lights. Some lit trees even turned on and off to the sound of Christmas music. We saw bits of a laser show. Our ankles were rammed by strollers. People bumped into us. We saw some duckies. Lovie cried when they came close and squawked at her. We saw some chicken. Lovie cried when they came and squawked at her. We saw a huge snowman. We saw a lama and a couple cows.

And we saw a reindeer. Which was the coolest thing about the evening.

What wasn't cool was that there was like two coffee stands in the whole friggin zoo... there was a ton of dark, kinda scary gaps between the lighted areas... there wasn't enough animals (it IS the zoo!) to see and Lovie wanted "more animals! animals!!"... the penguin house was ridiculously packed with people... it took us 20 minutes to move our car ONE INCH after getting in our car to leave...

Had we chosen to go to the FREE lights display at the zoo closer to us (how stupid are we? VERY apparently), I wouldn't have been so disappointed. But the fact that this place was SO hyped up and we had to pay near $40 to get in for something we could've done while driving around in our warm car for the price of gas, really kind of pissed me off.

The zoo lights will NOT be a tradition in our family... but we were together and we can say we've been there, done that, and pray that Lovie not ever ask us to do it in the future.

top 10 countdown to 2

2011-12-19T06:35:00.004-06:00

10 more days till Lovie's the big TWO.

This was taken back in March. If this doesn't make the grumpiest of people smile, I'm not sure what would. I hate that the binky is in the photo but she does sleep with it (until the Binky Fairy comes the day after her birthday to take them away to give to babies who need them since she's a Big Girl) and it's just a sweet and funny picture of Lovie during her 2nd year in 2011.

Cool. to the I and O. is Coolio. Yo!

2011-12-17T13:31:00.000-06:00

Check out my new header up above.

Whatchu think?!?

Merry Whackadoo to You!

2011-12-16T08:36:00.000-06:00

This is going to sound nuts... crazy... insane... whackadoo: I ordered 3 different sets of holiday cards this year.

Nuts... crazy... insane... whackadoo, right?!

But here's the reason: 2 sets were free (thank you Shutterfly and Tiny Prints) and the 3rd set ... I just had to get them printed.

Let's review, shall we?

Set 1 was ordered in November through Shutterfly for free.

Gorgeous, no? It's one of my favorite family photos of us since Lovie's birth. I just adore everything about that photo- the color behind us, my long hair with silver shining through (festive, no??), DH's chocolatey comlexion, and Lovie's adorableness. I just adore that child. We adore her- and I think it shows in that photo which is why I slapped it onto cards that got sent out the 1st of December.

Set 2 was ordered in early December through Tiny Prints for free.

Fun, no? Since we had Merrry Christmas cards made with set 1, we figured why not get New Years cards. I adore everything about this photo, too- same reasons as above, really. And believe it not, neither of these photos are posed. Sure we knew the photog was snapping pictures and our goal was to get some nice family photos, but we didn't sit and say cheese. I'm just not a fan of those photos. Not always, at least.

Set 3 ... Set 3 is my favorite and was just ordered last week through Shutterfly during one of their sales.

I had to make these. I had to. I got the inspiration when I submitted my entry into a holiday photo card challenge and I just had to make these to give to people who I would know would get a kick out of it... like her teachers (they all loved it) and special friends, and of course one for the scrapbooks! ;D

So there you have it, my friends...

Merry Christmas

Happy New Year

Happy Holidays!

(all images are screen shots of the Preview of the card from Shutterfly or Tiny Prints where i used their card images and plugged in a photo and names. the wording on the last card is from me- though the design of the card belongs to Shutterfly.)

All I want for Christmas (and never got)

2011-12-15T08:17:00.000-06:00

1.) 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want. (inspired by Hello Giggles)

Just because I'm the baby in the family, doesn't mean I was spoiled- though I'm sure my brother and sister would argue with me. None of us were ever asked (that I know about) to compile Christmas Wish Lists. Ever. Sure there were always gifts under the tree at Christmas. Sure it was a wonderful time of year for everyone. But, it wasn't really about the quantity of the gifts (good thing as there was never more than a couple for each of us) so much as it was about the quantity of time spent with family. (Cheesy, yes? But very true.)

I guess because it's all I ever really knew, it didn't bother me so much that we never got a lot of toys at Christmas (or at birthdays). I remember visiting with cousins or friends and seeing toy after toy after toy and always enjoying playing with whatever they would let me play with, but I don't think I was ever really jealous of them. I know I liked to go over to other people's houses to play way more than having anyone over at my house, and I remember the reason being because we didn't have a lot of stuff to play with, but I never got angry about it (that I can recall now).

That all said, there are definitely a few toys that I do remember always hankering over, always wanting and never getting no matter how much I'd get my hopes up.

Toys like the Big Wheel.

Man, how I wanted a Big Wheel. I was always so jealous of all the kids I'd see riding their Big Wheel! And when I'd visit one of my cousins, I'd always beg to ride one of theirs around their cul-de-sac and we'd always have races. I never grew tired of my love for a Big Wheel. If they made them in adult sizes, I'd get one today... and you bet your bottom dollar my kid is getting one (probably next year) whether she wants it or not! ;)

Or a Lite Brite.

I wanted one of these for years!! I remember going over to one of my mom's friends house and seeing their kids Lite Brite sitting off in another room. I'd just longingly look at it until someone would finally ask if I wanted to play with it. Of course that's when one of the kids would appear and demand that I leave it alone because I would wreck their creation. Spoiled rotten brats!

Oh and then there's the Speak and Spell!

While I was a tomboy and loved playing outside with the boys, I was also pretty nerdy, too. I admit it. I loved going to school, loved writing with pens, loved spelling, etc. So why not want a Speak and Spell? Did I ever get one? No!

Finally, there's the Merlin.

I actually almost forgot about the Merlin till I was looking through Google Images for popular toys in the late 70s and saw this image. From my recollection, Merlin is kind of like Simon- another game I thought was cool but never got. You know- the game plays a sound and a light and you have to mimic it and it gets faster and faster and harder and harder. Yeah, I wanted one and never got one. I mean, really! How much would one have cost back in the day?

I couldn't make a list of 10. I tried, but I just couldn't do it... Just more proof to me that there's no need to give a shitton every single year. But, it's also proof to me that if my girl really wants one or two things that aren't ridiculously expensive or unattainable (LIKE A BIG WHEEL, FFS!), I will get her one. Or Santa will.

Sidenote: Do you know that I always wanted a real Trapper Keeper, too?!? I would beg my mom for one every single year and she would never get me one because they were "too expensive." I wanted one for so long that finally, when my mom got a job at Walgreens WHEN I WAS THIRTY YEARS OLD, she got me one. No lie.

All images courtesy of google images except for Mama Kat's button.

Come Play with Me: 4

2011-12-14T05:12:00.000-06:00

It's another exciting day today as Melissa from MaMe Musings joins us to embark on episode four of my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

Melissa's super duper busy these days with her own blog, life, and I'm thinking her two adorable TWIN toddlers might have something to do with it, too, so I'm really grateful she took the time to play with us. Take note, too, cuz she's got some really great advice about how to approach the new year.

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My Birthday List

Thanks so much to Christina for having me over at Finally Mom today!! I am excited to be guest posting at one of the cutest, funniest blogs I know.

On most ordinary days, I can be found at my blog,MaMe Musings, sharing the joys and challenges of raising my 18 month old boy/girl twins, Emily and Andrew.

Originally when I thought about what I could share from my 2011, I envisioned a post about things like my extreme home make-over, my journey to complete (dis)organization, or my middle- of- the- night insecurities. Sort of a retrospective, if you will, highlighting all the, um, parenting experience and wisdom I gained ~~the hard way~~ along the way.

Then I thought about discussing all the fun things I am looking forward to in 2012: toddlers who can talk and argue back, potty-training not one but two kids who currently don’t mind poo, or the real “Terrible Twos” since apparently the tantrums we are now experiencing are just a precursor to the fun that is to come.

But, for some reason, none of these posts came forth. Like my pregnancy that eventually had to be induced, this post likewise seemed destined to be overdue.

What could I share to inspire other moms beyond cute pictures of my babies like this one?

And then it hit me like a sippy cup flying out of the back seat.

So, I hope you will indulge me as I take you back to end of 2010, to my 35th birthday, which I promise will bring us back to 2011 and into 2012:

In the midst of feeling like the weight of my birthday was going to crush me, Marty tried hard to perk me up by planning a birthday surprise that included an afternoon at the art museum sans babies.

As we strolled through the whiteness of the museum, I felt the tension between the peacefulness of the setting and my frenetic mind. Feeling more mixed up than an abstract painting, I had to work to slow down and soak in the serenity. Away from my cell phone, Facebook, and babies, Marty and I walked through the museum at our own pace. I felt keenly aware of the sanctity of life as I looked into the eyes through the ages. As I tried to place myself in the grandness of history, I realized anew that one of our greatest abilities is the ability to think, and for a while, I selfishly reveled in thinking deeply about the art that was before me. I realized much of the beauty was of the ordinary variety—a bowl of fruit, a couple in love, a sunrise, a man standing alone. As a new mom, I was drawn to the pictures of mothers with their children. Regardless of the time that separates us, the connection is the same, and I thanked God again for the opportunity to count myself among those who answer to name of “mommy.” In a time when the world seems to be shrinking, my stroll through the museum reminded me that there is still a big, wide world that awaits my visit. Just as art requires us to slow down and be intentional in our thoughts, I think the art of enjoying life requires some of the same intentionality. Don’t we all need to slow it down and appreciate the art of daily life just a little bit more?

Image Credit

One of my favorite teacher sayings and an art-inspired one at that is, “Attitude is the mind’s paintbrush,” and as I left the museum that day, I tried to color my attitude with a brighter hue.

I resolved to be more intentional about my happiness and about living my life. I resolved to quit using the babies as an excuse for not doing things and instead view them as the motivation for doing them. My babies deserved the best mommy possible.

And that was the start of my birthday list.

The idea was simple: 36 things I wanted to complete in my 36th year. There were big, broad items like (1) Be the best mommy I can be. And small, specific ones like (10) Learn to play poker. There were some serious, adult ones like (11) Re-evaluate my long-term finances. And childish, playful ones like (31) hang-gliding. Of course, there were the perfunctory ones like (24) Lose weight or (25) Eat healthier. I threw in random ones: (33) Watch a meteor shower and (21) learn to make a good mixed drink

(14) Support a charity (Go, Little Pink Houses of Hope!)

My 36th birthday came and went in November 2011, and as I look back on my list, I realize I accomplished probably two-thirds of my list. Some are a work in progress like (3) Take a good picture; some were started and not finished-- (8) reading a book a month; while others never even came close to happening—(5) a 5K. What was I thinking??

I almost typed that I just completed two-thirds, but I think adding just minimizes my effort. Sure I didn’t accomplish everything, but I certainly accomplished way more than I would have without the list.

First, the list made me think about what I wanted, needed, and valued. It made get specific, get motivated.

The list made me intentional.

While being the best mom I could possibly be was rightfully number one, I know that, ironically, this list helped me be a better mom, as I carved out time to feed my spirit, recharge my mommy batteries, and reconnect with the woman who I have grown to be.
Originally, I stated my ultimate goal for the list was “to use each day to the best of my ability, and hopefully arrive at 36, alive and healthy, rejuvenated and ready to find 36 new ways to love my life.” Again, I was pretty close. I am still working on “rejuvenated.” (I think a spa day is in order after putting up Christmas trees with twin toddlers!)

So am I making a “37 things to do before I am 37” list? I am actually contemplating a slight twist, a challenge I am calling 12 in 2012. In short, I will be identifying 12 core values I want to illuminate in 2012. Sound like a challenge you’d be interested in undertaking with me? Stay tuned to MaMe Musings for more details (coming right after I get started on my Christmas shopping and take down what remains of my decorations—ie. Somewhere around the first of January!)

I hope to see you in 2012. Until then, I hope you have a very happy (and intentional) end of 2011!

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As if her twins weren't cute enough and keep her busy enough, Melissa's got the brains to come up with what I think is a brilliant idea... 12 in 2012?! Man, I wish I had thought of it! As it is, I've been pondering on doing a 40 before 40 list (since I'll be turning the big 4-0 in September oh dear oh my) but 40 is a big number of things to come up with.

I'm so grateful to have done this series; I've learned SO much- not only about each participant, but I also learned that it's time to look forward to 2012. It's time to make some plans and live life to the fullest. Yes, it's great to live life every day to the fullest, which I really try to do, but making a plan or two can't hurt, can it?

Anyway, thanks so much for playing Melissa!

If anyone out there might be interested in playing, please shoot me an email at finallymom@gmail.com.

When Every Single Year Ends

2011-12-13T07:45:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited! :)

A piece I've written about traditions coming to an end is being posted today over at MaMe Musings place! I shed some tears writing this piece, but it was so worth it... kind of made this holiday season more real and doable. Thanks to Melissa for allowing me to open up like this!

Go check it out, please- and let me know what you think. And check out Melissa and her adorable TWIN toddlers (I think my hair just got more gray just thinking about two Lovie's running around!) while you're at it, too!

a day in the life of (when we're home): The Listicle

2011-12-12T05:10:00.009-06:00

It's Monday Listicles Day!

I'm playing a bit differently than the rest and presenting a day in the life of (when we're home). Today's Listicle is immediately followed by pictures with greater explanation... I hope you enjoy!

1. Smiles and snuggles in bed

2. Cheerios (and milk!)

3. Glue sticks and crafting fun while listening to Christmas music (I'm not even exaggerating one bit when I say that Lovie sat in her chair the entire time we made our wreath! I never knew a glue stick could hold an almost 2 year old's attention even more than Team Umizoomi!)

4. TV break

5. Time to make some cookies and eat lunch

6. Nap time

7. Snuggles and TV

8. Daddy’s home

9. Tuna sandwiches and chips

10. Bath and bedtime

In greater detail...

Bedtime Saturday night was a tad later than normal so Lovie didn't get up Sunday morning till Daddy got up to go to work at about 8 (this is completely abnormal- neither of us work weekends). He brought her in to me and she was all smiles. What a way to wake up! (Normally I get her up.) We snuggled in bed for about half an hour, watching Chica on Sprout TV. Then we got up, had some cheerios, and started our day as Daddy went to work.

After daddy got home, we all had tuna sandwiches and chips, watched Team Umizoomi (while I played on the computer) and colored. Then daddy gave Lovie a bath and we got ready for bed (watched an episode of Ni Hao Kai Lan before retiring to Lovie's room and reading for about 15 minutes).

I'm not sure what I would do with myself if every day was as awesome as this. We could go on walks, to the park, visit the old folks (my dad's retired, his parents are retired, my Oma is ailing). We could go to the library and book stores, out for coffee and hot chocolate. Or we could just stay home like we did this day and do a lot of nothing- yet oh so much!

Thank goodness I have work to snap me back into reality.

Seriously, thank goodness for days like yesterday. I take NONE of it for granted and I very well realize how lucky I do have it- to at least be blessed with such an amazing little girl who calls me Mama.

Santa Baby

2011-12-11T12:41:00.002-06:00

Taken exactly one year apart, oddly enough. I adore the way she's clutching onto his thumb in this year's photo. My rock star BIG girl.

linking up with Harper's Happenings and

Come play with me: 3

2011-12-09T07:43:00.000-06:00

Today is Friday, Friday, Gotta Get down on Friday... and it's also time to get down with Heather from Life with the Ardies. She's lucky contestant number THREE in my Come Play With Me Guest Posts series.

Heather's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011- and prove to us all how crazy her life has been. I honestly cannot fathom doing all that she does so yes, I have to agree: girl's life be crazy!

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Hey everyone! My name is Heather and I’m a mess.

You see, five years ago my husband and I had the grand idea that both of us were going to go back to school and get our Ph.Ds in psychology. Together. At the same time. Yes, we had an idea what we were getting ourselves into. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But damn... I didn’t know it was going to test me like no other.

Now, we made it through each month with our measly student salaries. And we made it through a pregnancy, a birth on the first day of school, and two more years of school. We also made it through the educational budget crisis that left me with an unpaid internship.

That brings me to the present day. I’m a mess because I’m a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time student, full-time intern, and full-time whatever else I can’t think of at the moment. And because I’m FAR more productive at doing things I shouldn’t be doing compared to things I should (like dissertation, laundry, Pinterest, Facebook, etc), I’m sitting here reflecting on my crazy year and the things I’ve learned this year. For example, I’ve learned:

~ Potential employers are full of it. After applying for internships at the beginning of this year, I got a couple “We regret to inform you...” letters. Oh, come on!! LIARS! You don’t regret anything! This letter does not affect you in any way. I regret to tell you to shut the hell up!

~ Toddlers are much harder work than newborns, infants, and babies put together. Getting sleep in only 2-hr stretches has NOTHING on: Mommy! Mommy! Mom! Look! Look, Mommy! Look! It’s an airplane! Hey! Mommy! Look, a tree! Let’s count them. Mommy! Mom! Momma! Look! I know she’s excited about everything she’s experiencing in the world. I know she’s so happy she can articulate what she’s experienced. But Mommy just wants to play the quiet game right now.

~ Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean spending 3 hours on Pinterest when you should be working on reports. Like I have any time to make a t-shirt scarf or a bracelet out of nuts and bolts! Wait! Is that a pin for cookie dough truffles? Oh yeah, I DEFINITELY have time for that. Move over graduate school. You’ll have to wait a bit.

And if you’ve got anything from my post, I hope you caught the sarcasm and humor. I joke around. A lot. In all seriousness though.... It’s been one crazy year and I bitch about a lot of it on my blog. But I’m truly thankful for all the support I have in my life. I’ve made it this far without a diagnosis of some psychological disorder. And as crazy as my life gets at times, I think I’m ready for the challenge! Bring it, 2012!

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Ahhh don't you just adore that picture?! Since Heather told me I could use any pic from her blog, I had to steal it and pimp it out over here. I think it's a great representation for who Heather is- how she's got a great sense of humor, is smitten for her Babygirl and husband, and how all of this helps her maintain her sanity during these crazy busy times in her life.

I feel so very honored that she was able to make some time to play with me!

Thanks for playing, Heather!

(reading and want to play? email me your post: finallymom@gmail.com)

Not much has changed, really. Yet lots has. Hmm.

2011-12-08T11:14:00.000-06:00

On this date one year ago, I was counting down the days till Lovie turned ONE.

I was taking pictures every day in December as a way to count down the last days of infancy. It's not that a whole lot of changes occurred during those 29 days, but it was just a way for me to hang on to counting Lovie's age in months rather than years. I suppose.

I was so anxious last year around this time. And a bit sad. But also so excited. She started walking the month prior so by this time last year, she started to run. It was too cute to watch her toddle down the hallway after the cats. Her face would get this look of wonder as she moved faster and faster and made it to her destination. She was a riot to be around, my Lovie. Still is, really.

Actually, she's even more enjoyable to be around these days.

I can't believe I just said that out loud (or typed it for all to read).

I've sincerely loved absolutely every stage of my child's life so far. From the very new, very beginning to now. Every stage I've done my best to absorb. I've tried my best to breathe it all in deeply. I've written about it all, taken photos as much as possible and lived in that moment, trying to hold it as close to me as possible.

But this age she's at now?? This almost 2 thing (21 more days)? This being able to have a conversation thing? This wanting to be independent, yet still wanting me right by her side when she gets tired thing? It's some kind of wonderful (anyone remember that movie? man, i LOVED it!). Actually it's more than some kind of wonderful, it's insanely awesome.

She asks me, "What's wrong, Mama?" now when I grumble under my breath or might seem a bit stressed. She asks to hear "Santa's music" when we're driving in the car. She ooooh's at new things like the lights on the Christmas tree. She thanks me when I give her vegetables! She sings Happy Birthday to You every time I ask her how old she'll be when she has her birthday. She taunts me to chase her up the stairs when we get home- and down the hall when it's time to change her stinky pants. She's asks if I "wanna try" the soup she's made while taking a bath and laughs hysterically when I dump it (the container full of water) on her.

The list is endless when it comes to how awesome she is.

My heart is so full and yet every day it gets fuller. Somehow.

I'm the luckiest person on the face of the earth.

I was a year ago, too, but now... it's just unreal how blessed I am to have this little chica in my life.

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4.) Blast from the Past: What were you writing about last year at this time? Tell us what has changed (if anything) since then.

Come Play with Me: 2

2011-12-07T04:26:00.004-06:00

Today is another special day. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the second (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And this one is from a newer blogging pal of mine, the first to actually submit a post to me, Jennifer from Just Jennifer.

Jennifer's gonna talk about what she's learned in 2011 and how she's gonna apply it moving forward- and it's a lesson that we all can take advantage of learning about (IMO, of course):

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When I saw what Christina suggested that other bloggers write about for her I was stumped.

“What are you looking forward to in 2012? What is something you’re taking from 2011 and tucking in your memory pocket for later?”

I did the ole Winnie the Pooh “think, think, think” bit and managed to come up with something.

The older I get the more I notice running themes in my life. Sometimes they’re even yearly themes. In 2011 I believe my keywords were OPEN and SHED.

Not like open the shed! Duh. I mean, I learned to BE OPEN and SHED CRAP.

Shedding the crap from one’s life is hard. Things like insecurities, resentments, expectations. They have a strong hold. But for me this year, I have felt so many of these things falling away from who I am.

I wish I could tell you how this is happening, but I really don’t know. It could be experience and wisdom. It could be perspective. The perspective I get from loving someone with health problems. I’m thinking it’s a combo of these.

I noticed the being open part when I basically “went public” with my blogging. It was always technically public, but I wasn’t actively trying to grow my blog into something more than my personal journal until I had been doing it over a year.

Once I stepped out of my box, a whole new world opened up to me and I’m loving it. As I began discovering more, I became open to the possibilities that lay before me. And I feel like it’s become a new motto to live by: just be open to the possibilities.

In short, I am open without expectation. Does that make any sense?

And moving forward into 2012, all I hope for is more of the same. That I continue to learn and grow and change, stay open and keep shedding the unnecessary crap I carry around.

Thank you, Christina, for the opportunity to write this. I’m glad I was open to it! :-)

Jen is submitting this post to Lovelinks #35.

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It's amazing how being open and shedding the crap can empower a person, eh? I think if more people did this, we'd all get along a bit better because it may allow us to just move forward instead of holding grudges. But what do I know?

I do know that Jennifer is good people- and we have a lot in common. And that's reason enough for you to go and check her and her story out.

Thanks for playing, Jen!

Kermit

2011-12-06T12:48:00.000-06:00

I was in first grade and I loved going to gymnastics.

The clock in the living room was one I couldn’t read. It was brown with gold numbers and arms and took up half the wall the TV was against. The TV that showed cartoons that I was engrossed in. I was six years old and I loved going to gymnastics. Mama and Papa were both at work and my big sister (by 7 years) would have to take me. She was in the kitchen doing her homework and listening to music. I wanted to make sure she didn’t forget to take me to gymnastics.

A door separated the kitchen hallway from the dining room which opened into the living room I sat in watching cartoons beneath the big brown clock I couldn’t read. I tried pushing the door open but it sometimes stuck- and this was one of those time. I tried shouting through the door to ask what time it was, but the music was too loud. I tried knocking on the door to get Sister’s attention, but I apparently couldn’t knock hard enough.

I tried sitting back down on the rough forest green couch to watch cartoons and wait. But I really wanted to know what time it was and how much longer before we’d leave for gymnastics especially since Sister wasn’t fond of having to take care of me, having to take me places. I didn’t want her to forget to take me.

I went back to the door and peered thru one of its many windows to see if I could maybe catch a glimpse of her but all I could see was the doorway into the bathroom and the yellow and black tiles on the back wall of the house. I tried pushing the door open again. Nothing. I tried knocking on the door again. Nothing.

I took several steps back and ran toward the door, hoping my force would push open the stuck door. But instead of pushing on the wood panel of the door, my hand landed in one of the little windows.

CRASH!

My hand went thru the window.

Glass sprayed the linoleum floor.

“What the hell?!” Sister screamed from around the corner.

I was horrified and scared. Sister was always such a bitch to me, she was going to flip out even more when she saw what I just did. I pulled my hand back and blood started dripping everywhere.

Thick red blood... oozing out of my hand... making a puddle on the brown carpet.

I started to scream and Sister finally appeared at the doorway. She pulled me toward her and moved me into the bathroom and told me to sit on the closed toilet. She stepped into the hallway and reached for the yellow rotary phone on the wall and dialed some numbers.

The blood poured out of my hand.

She hung up the phone, picked me up and carried me next door, passing my laughing brother on the way while leaving a trail of blood drops from our house to the neighbors.

I can’t remember much more other than holding my hand over the open toilet at the neighbor’s house. Then I recall see my mom coming toward me in the hospital. She had her mouth covered with her hands and looked like she was crying.

I couldn’t sleep that night because the pain was unbearable. My hand was wrapped a million times in white bandages. I couldn’t see the damage but the pain… there was so much throbbing and it was just and so unbearable.

I still have the scars from that incident which happened well over 30 years ago! The cut on the ring finger of my right hand was so severe (due to pulling my hand back!), they nearly amputated. Instead, I can barely pull it back. The scar has always reminded me of a lizard of sorts so I started referring to it as Kermit. There are also two more scars, much smaller in size but still quite visible, on my forefinger and another on my thumb.

I never did get to go to gymnastics that day.

Today we’re trying a little something different. Are you ready? Your word is below. Take the next ten minutes to write about the first single memory that word calls up. Focus on the emotions and the experience, spend ten minutes really exploring that memory. Then wrap it up, publish, and come back to link up. CRASH

Christmastime is here!

2011-12-05T12:57:00.001-06:00

I've been reading to Lovie before she was even born and when I saw this neat thing on The Pinterest about wrapping books and having your child open one to read every night during the Christmas season, I was like NEATO! But then it quickly dawned on me: I don't have 24 Christmas-related books, nor do I have the funds to go out and get a ton of Christmas-related books. But, I have picked up a few and started to introduce them to Lovie after Thanksgiving.

First up was My Little Polar Bear because it wasn't really Christmas-related and we weren't even into December yet. It's a cute (and short) story, but I think I like it more than Lovie does.

Next up was what this post is all about- Christmastime is Here! A Fisher Price Little People lift the flap book.

This books is AWESOME. Lovie, 24 days shy of age 2, cannot get enough of this book. Every night before bed we read to her and last night we each had to read this one twice. She just loves looking at what's under all the flaps- and half the time it cracks her up!

So if you're looking for a Christmas-y book for your toddler, you really must seek this one out (I got it from TJ Maxx for like $7 or something). It's not religious or anything; it's just fun and cute.

And since this is about toddlers and Christmas, check out what I just picked up at the grocery store during my lunch break:

Don't you wish you could be 2 again?!?

I wasn't compensated in any way, shape, or form for my opinions stated within this post. Neither of these companies know that I even exist.

Wish Listicle

2011-12-05T09:12:00.000-06:00

I know this will come across as very foreign to many folk, but I don't think I've ever really created a Wish List for Christmas. As a kid, we weren't really asked to do this (I'm guessing cuz my parents wouldn't or couldn't really get us things off our list) and as an old fart, I just don't have a wish for many things I can't get myself.

I mean, I don't really give a shit about designer this or that. I abhor perfumes. I'm not into jewelry (I haven't worn my wedding band since August 2007... we were married June 2007). I'm fat and would never tell someone what my size is for them to purchase a sweater or something. I had a bone removed from my foot which now requires a custom made insole to be worn with shoes so I can't really ask for a kick ass pair of boots or sneakers since they never fit my insole.

blah blah Bah Humbug!

But I do love Christmas! I do, I do, I do! I especially love giving gifts to others! That, along with spending time with family and friends, is what the Christmas is all about for me.

But to appease the other Listicle Makers out there, here is my 2011 Christmas Wish List:

1. to wake up Christmas morning with brown hair instead of the silver streaked hair it is... BUT it would have to be brown naturally and not need any coloring to prevent the silver from coming back
2. a maid to cook and clean- paid for life (of course holidays would be off)

but seriously...

3. to make the season as magical for Lovie as possible
4. to spend as much time with family as possible
5. to continue or create traditions (like making Untricky Sticky Buns Christmas morning)
6. to give to people in need (I actually adopted a family thru work this year!) {if this wish was an unrealistic one like the first two on my list, it would read "that no person be left hungry, homeless, or in need of anything basic"}
7. to play Christmas music as much as possible
8. to snuggle with my girl as often (and then some) as she wants
9. to kiss those cheeks as much as I can
10. to breathe in every ounce of excitement and energy I can from the littles like my Lovie

untricky sticky buns

2011-12-04T15:54:00.002-06:00

These are the easiest, tastiest things I've made in a long, long time. It's the first thing I've made from a repin on Pinterest, of course, though my version varies a bit (I added more brown sugar, cinnamon and baking time). And they were gone within minutes of being presented. They're sincerely that good.

Untricky Sticky Buns

Ingredients:

1 can Grands buttermilk biscuits (the jumbo kind- 8 to a can)
3 tablespoon butter, melted
1/2 cup pancake syrup
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1 tablespoon cinnamon (may add a bit more next time)

Preheat oven to 375.
Mix melted butter and syrup in small bowl.
Mix brown sugar and cinnamon in separate small container.
Grease bundt pan.
Pour half the buttery syrup mixture in bottom of pan.
Sprinkle with half the brown sugar cinnamon mixture.
Lay biscuits on top, overlapping a bit.
Pour remaining buttery syrup on top.
Sprinkle remaining brown sugar cinnamon mixture.

Bake for 25 minutes.

Let cool for a minute or two before flipping over onto a serving plate. Let flipped bundt pan sit on top of plate for a couple minutes to let all the ooey goodness ooze over the biscuits.

So good. So easy.

P.S. I detest spelling the word Cinnamon. I NEVER get it right! Argh!

Favorite November photo

2011-12-03T20:09:00.000-06:00

She makes my heart so full.

Come play with me: 1

2011-12-02T07:24:00.000-06:00

Today is special. I'm absolutely elated to present to you the first (of what I hope is many) Come Play With Me Guest Posts! And I couldn't think of a better way to kick this off than with my good friend, Lisa (or LOG) from the O'Gs!

Lisa's chosen to tell us about what she's looking forward to in 2012, and I just want to tell you all, right here and right now, that this chica is one fiercely strong mama of two beautiful toddlers- and her post proves why. Rather than focus on the negatives in her life, she's looking ahead to the good and really, only the good. Incredible, really.

Check it out for yourself:

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Howdy!! I'm Lisa (or LOG, whichever) from The O'Gs. I'm thrilled to be posting here at Christina's blog today. Christina is a very good friend of mine and we've experienced some of the joy and heartache of being mamas together. She guest posted for me back in October and I am happy to return the favor.

Welcome 2012!

So 2011 was a rough year for my family. My father-in-law passed away in January. My mom has gotten worse and worse. The second half started looking up. I got a new job, my husband got promoted. However, I'm hoping that the "new year, new start" mantra will work for us in 2012. So, here, for your reading pleasure, is what I am looking forward to in 2012.

January

The Bears being in the playoffs. This will happen.

Getting together with family to remember my FIL. This will be sad, it will be emotional, there will be tears. But there will also be laughter, love, and happy stories. Oh and alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

Oh and Conan. Because Conan is supposed to be here in January!!

February

The Bears winning the Super Bowl. :)

March

My baby boy turning 3. THREE YEARS OLD. You read that right. I will have a three year old in March. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around THAT.

The beginning of Spring. Hopefully. It's Chicago. You never know.

April

Easter. Not because I'm religious, but because it will be the first major holiday gathering at my husband's grandmothers since the holidays. And I love the family I married into.

Grilling!! This is usually when we start grilling on a regular basis. And I love me some BBQ.

May

Our off-roading trip to Arkansas.

Mother's Day (which may or may not be a little sad, considering the very real possibility it will be my first without my mom).

The beginning of good weather (most likely, it's STILL Chicago).

June

Summer time. Playing outside till 8 at night, long days, rolling around in the grass, playing at the park, going to the zoo.

Cocktails outside in the backyard after the kids go to bed.

July

The 4th. Celebrating with the family.

The heart of summer. Days in the pool, the sprinkler. Being outside even though its 95 degrees because dammit, my kids want to play in their kiddie pool.

August

Celebrating seven years with my husband (not married, just together).

Enjoying the remainder of summer with hopefully a little bit cooler of weather.

September

The start of football.

Fall.

My birthday.

Our vacation to the east coast.

October

REAL FALL.

Our annual off road trip.

My baby girl turning TWO. She just turned one, she can't turn TWO!!

My husband's birthday.

Halloween, and trick or treating and seeing my kids in their costumes.

November

Our 5th wedding anniversary.

Thanksgiving. Turkey. Food. Lots of it.

December

The holiday season.

St. Nick's day.

Christmas and everything that goes with it. It's the most magical time of the year, especially when you have two beautiful, amazing, wonderful kids to share it with.

I'm looking forward to a fresh start in 2012. I'm looking forward to good times, happy times, fun times outweighing the bad and sad. Here's to you, 2012.

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Ack, I just adore that photo of Maggie and her brother PJ! : )

I implore you all to please visit Lisa's blog to get to know her a little better and get a better understanding for why I think she's one of the strongest women I know; please follow her blog to show some support (she may be strong, but we all need support in horrifically trying times in any way we can get!); and please...PLEASE keep her and her family in your thoughts this season as her mother literally loses her life to one of the most cruel, most disgusting, appalling diseases I've ever heard of- ALS.

Lisa, I love you and am honored to call you my friend.

Holiday Card CHALLENGE

2011-12-01T10:10:00.000-06:00

I created last year's entry before discovering Picnik. Oh lordie did I have fun creating it, but man did it take some time- it was done all on Paint by cutting and pasting, etc! Too time consuming for something that didn't even make the cut! Wah!

This year, I've been racking my brain trying to come up with an idea... do I go all cute and adorable (not hard with the subject I knew would be the center of the card) or what? And then the idea hit me!! I would turn an evil looking picture (you must admit the girl looks evil in the photo) into something I find pretty farking funny if I do say so myself. And I just did! So there!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from Lovie!

Wordy Wednesday: Yesterday

2011-11-30T06:27:00.008-06:00

a) i can't believe this is the best photo i got of her yesterday, on her 23 monthday, but the girl will only sit still for TV and those make awful pictures (this one was snapped as ~~we were~~ i was trying to get us to leave daycare while she played with something on the floor).
b) i can't believe... I CANNOT BELIEVE... my baby doll will be 2 in less than a month. INCREDIBLE.
c) i really am digging tracking her age milestones with a photo and some words. neato. thanks be to the Pinterest, eh.

linking up with The Paper Mama and Kiddothings again! ... and...

Mama

2011-11-29T08:45:00.000-06:00

I’ve always been kind of overlooked a lot in life- especially when it comes to pictures of myself. There are gobs of my sister, the oldest; quite a bit of my brother, the middle child; and not even an album full of me, the youngest. Such is life back in the day before digital, I suppose. As I grew up (and out), I hated getting photos taken of myself; I didn’t know how to smile (still don’t) and I was fat (or I thought I was… yet what I wouldn’t do to go back to the “fat” I thought I was back then!).

Then as I watched my nieces and nephews grow into adults, I often noticed how few pictures each of them had with their mothers. And that left me to think about pictures of myself with my own mother. They simply don’t exist. And that's incredibly sad to me.

So when Lovie was born, I promised myself (and her) that that wouldn’t happen with us. I was going to ensure there were pictures of me alone and/or me and her together. Even if that meant turning the camera on myself. Even if that meant begging someone to take a picture of us.

from end of August 2011

Lovie’s not even 2 and I’m proud to say that I can’t even tell you how many pictures there are of the two of us together. And I love them all. I may look fat and old and tired in some (or all) of them, but I absolutely love each picture. Mainly because of her, yes I admit it, but also because it’s a true representation of who I am:

Gray haired? Sure.

Tired looking? Maybe so.

Happy? Absolutely!

Mama? That’s me.

This week, I’m asking you to take us into the moment your favorite photograph of yourself was taken, to show us who you were then and what the photograph means–in 300 words.

Oh Thanksgiving weekend

2011-11-28T08:00:00.001-06:00

Oh Thanksgiving weekend, how I love thee. How I've always loved thee, but how I love thee even more now that Lovie is with us.

Oh how I love to feast on carbelicious foods for days on end...

Oh I how I love to watch this little girl do her thing and be as cute as she can possibly be without even knowing it (here she is wearing G-pa's hat)...

Oh how I love waking up on Black Friday, making a pot of coffee, and pulling out all the Christmas decor (and, this year, Oh how I ADORED hearing and seeing the excitement in Lovie- her Ooooo's to everything getting pulled out and put up, her "oooo cool socks" comment when she noticed the stockings on the wall {no fireplace, eh} after waking from a 3 hour nap {lucky girl}, her "Snowman!" comments at all the Santa's) and tree and decorating the house while listening to Christmas music...

Oh how I love that even after two full days of just being a family and carrying on (or starting new) traditions, there are still two more days left to the long weekend... a Saturday spent out and about- first going to 10am Imnastics (gymnastics), then grabbing a hot dog before driving out to Oma and Grandma's for a lengthy visit before arriving back home just in time for bed... a Sunday spent home doing a bunch of nothing but whatever we want (coloring, snacking, bathing, watching tv, cuddling on the couch, tickle fests).

Thank you Thanksgiving weekend. You did not disappoint. Not one bit.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T13:21:00.000-06:00

I'm so incredibly thankful for her...

today on Thanksgiving- and every single day.

I'm so blessed.

WW: last year's 1st

2011-11-23T08:49:00.000-06:00

holy shit was she a cutie, no? she still is, yes, but i could squish her here. she was only weeks into being an actual walking baby and only a month and some change from turning one. too fast... too too fast. oh and hey in laws, it'd be nice if this Thanksgiving you show up on time and not three hours late like last year. thanks.

linking up, again, with The Paper Mama and Kiddothings.

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in other news, i've gotten quite a few inquiries (sooo excited!!) to guest post here in the coming weeks (and if you haven't heard back from me, it's cuz i don't have your email, i can't reply to your comment b/c you're set up as no-reply which you really should change, and/or b/c i can't comment on your blog for some reason so email me at finallymom@gmail.com so we can get this worked out)... soon as they start coming in, the plan is to post them on Wednesdays so be on the lookout!! i know i am- and i'm super exicted!

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gobble, gobble!

My quiet place

2011-11-22T08:16:00.000-06:00

Before I became a mom, my quiet place was driving the open roads, the moonlight vanishing every few seconds from the trees. No music, no talking, just the sound of the car’s engine roaring, the sounds of the tires gliding across the concrete, the sounds of the car cutting through the air. I did so much thinking while driving, ~~sometimes~~ a lot of times getting quite lost in thought.

But now, as a mom, whenever I’m in the car it’s generally with Lovie and there isn’t much to think about other than how to keep her happy and tantrum free. So these days, my quiet place is all about the shower… the absolute solace of a hot shower.

...the constant rhythm of rushing water enveloping a vulnerable me as I step onto the cold floor. Anything and everything gets washed away in the shower. Beads of water adorn the glass door while droplets slide down every so often. The heat from the water massaging my shoulders, my back. My ears drown in the sound of falling water. My thoughts become so clear and focused. I’m able to laugh, reflect, cry. I step out completely refreshed, yet yearning to return to the warmth of my quiet place.

This week we asked you to write about your quiet place. Where is it? What does it look like? What happens there? Our word limit was 200

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Like what you see here at finally Mom? Then why not Come Play with Me?!?

One and Done, the Listicle

2011-11-21T07:47:00.002-06:00

I've talked about this several other times on this blog since starting it 20 months ago... why I'm ~~most likely~~ on Team One and Done. At first I harbored a lot of guilt about even thinking that we were on this team but as time progresses and as friends and family near and dear expand their families and we don't, I become more certain that the team we've chosen is most definitely the right one. FOR US.

Why the decision to have only one child?

In no particular order...

* I'm 39. I suffered one missed miscarriage before becoming pregnant with Lovie nine months later. I have absolutely no desire to go through the ups and downs of trying to conceive. No desire whatsoever. Yes, much of that has to do with fear- particularly the fear of miscarrying again or the fear of getting my hopes up only for them to be squashed.

* But more than the fear, I'm just tired. And the thought of getting pregnant again and staying pregnant for another nine months exhausts me. Just the thought of it exhausts me, imagine how I'd actually be if I were pregnant and caring for a 2 year old. No thanks. I mean, if it happens, it happens but we're not trying and ... just no thank you.

* Lovie completes me. As cheesy and cliche and whatever else you want to say as it is, it's true. The moment she was born, the moment I heard her cry out, the moment I laid eyes on her... I just knew this was it. She was the reason for life and my life was complete.

* I get to gush and gush and gush about her and only her and not feel guilty about doing so. I don't have to divide my attention between two or three or four other kids.

* I get to focus everything on to Lovie. Sure I could spoil her rotten with toys and clothes and other meaningless (when it comes down to it) crap, but I don't; instead, she gets my full attention and there's no guilt for doing so.

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Like what you see here at finally Mom? Then why not Come Play with Me?!?

Few of my Favorite things Friday

2011-11-18T14:33:00.000-06:00

Boy it's been a while since I've done one of these... I'm just gonna jump right in:

Toddler Mum-Mums
They are my favorite because they don't leave a mess in the car, which is when they get eaten by a little someone who begs for food (Cracka! Biscuit! Hungry, Mama, Eat!!). We drive in the car twice a day every single day during the week and sometimes on the weekend and my girl is growing and loves her snacks. These are like nothing (very little nutritional value so her dinner doesn't get spoiled and she remains happy). And she knows it. She's not always happy when I hand her one but after she throws a fit without it and still claims to be hungry, I offer again and it'll do. Granted I find more of them in the back seat than she eats, but they're very car friendly in that they really don't make a huge mess (and really, they're tasty- not too heavy, nice and light and airy)!

Jason's Deli
I've just recently discovered this place and hot damn do I want to move in. I've only been one time and that one time was enough to know and believe that Jason's Deli is awesome. Plain and simple. The BEST sandwich (and I love me sandwiches) I've EVER had (the Ham and Salami Mufaletta- get it.... NOW!). EVER. Honestly. Wow, I can't really put it into words how yummy this place is. Go experience it for yourself if you haven't already.

soap.com
You can get the aforementioned Mum Mums from soap.com if you want. You can also get hair care products, laundry items, toys, vibrators, toothpaste, diapers, and more from soap.com. And you can get it all by sitting your ass down in front of the computer and clicking on the items you want and paying with your handy dandy ~~notebook~~ credit card. And the fine people at soap.com will package everything nice and neatly in a box with their logo and get it delivered to you within a day or two. I live in a big city and always get mine delivered the next day. Super fucking convenient. I really love them. Like really really.

NOTE: these are all just my opinions and i'm not in any way, shape, or form being compensated or provided with anything from any of these favorites

oh and if you haven't done so already, please check this out (click on the fun picture):

come play with me!

2011-11-17T13:54:00.000-06:00

We’re days away from Thanksgiving… A little more than a month away from Christmas. That means a new year is right around the corner.

Can you see it?

Twenty twelve is a coming. And quickly!

What are you looking forward to in 2012?

What is something you’re taking from 2011 and tucking in your memory pocket for later?

I want to know. And I want you to share it on my blog.

I’d be honored!

If you’re interested in doing a Guest Blog spot here on finallyMom (I know, it's the moment you've been waiting for your whole blogging life), I’d love to have you, and I’d love to shout it from the Facebook and Twitter rooftops that you’re visiting, too.

I’m in if you are!

So come on! Come play with me!

On where the sap oozes and oozes

2011-11-17T07:47:00.001-06:00

I spent a big portion of my life not wanting children because of the way my adolescent years were spent. My parents split when I was 9 and the lines of communication slammed shut. I was “just a kid” after all. I guess. Then when my siblings started having kids and I started to be around kids more and more (in my very early 20s), I realized that, for me, having kids is what “it” is all about: Life. The joy I experienced when I was with my nephews and/or nieces was something I wanted more of and I started to want to experience parenthood on my own. But I was in my mid 20’s and quite the introvert and therefore pretty much all alone.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. My kids, as I referred to my nephew and nieces, grew right before my eyes. From babies to toddlers to teens. And with their growth, so grew my desire to parent one of my own.

When my Lovie was born, at the end of 2009, I was 37 years old. My grandmother, mom, and sister all were grandmothers by the time they were 37 and here I was becoming a first time mom!

The moment she was born, the moment I heard her finally cry out for the first time (she was born via c-section and didn’t cry out right away), the moment my eyes finally laid upon her… my life was complete. I could’ve died that moment and felt completely fulfilled. I thank god I didn’t die because the past two years have been the most incredible, the most fulfilling, the most wonderful years of my life, but I honestly felt so absolutely complete the moment Lovie was born.

And every day since then has been one big joy after the other. I am absolutely the most blessed person in the world. Of this I am sure. Of course there are challenges (like the fact that no matter how hard I tried to get my boobs working and producing enough milk to feed my baby doll, it just didn’t work out… or like the fact that I have to go to work every day while Lovie goes to daycare… or the fact that Monday thru Friday, I’m pretty much a single mom), but it all pales in comparison to the utter joy I experience every single day of my life. When she smiles, giggles, talks, eats, breathes, sneezes…

Am I a huge sap? Absofrigginlutely!

Is my view on motherhood, on parenting cliché? Possibly.

But I don’t care if it is and I don’t care that I’m a huge sap. The thing is that I sincerely feel as if being Mama to this little girl is what I was put on this earth to do. It’s why I was born. It’s why I was the youngest of three who always got shunned and overlooked and ignored and picked on. It’s why my parents split. It’s why my adolescent years were so screwed up (though whose isn’t, really?). It’s why I was so isolated for so long. It’s why I felt so alone and empty for many years. It’s why I helped raise one of my nephews. All of that- all of my life happened the way it did for her. For my Lovie. So that I could be an amazing Mama, an amazing parent to my Lovie.

She’s my biggest parenting joy… the fact that she exists and that I was chosen to be her Mama. It simply doesn’t get any better than that and I think about it every single day, making this whole parenting thing (right now; I’m sorta dreading the pre-teen and teen years eh) fucking awesome.

2.) Your biggest parenting challenge and/or joy.

WW: Joy

2011-11-16T07:16:00.001-06:00

man, i want those boots for myself!

Linking up with Kiddothings and The Paper Mama and Dear Crissy.

LOVE

2011-11-15T11:05:00.000-06:00

So I was checking out holiday cards over at Tiny Prints and am officially in love.

How friggin cool are those? Ornament Cards?!? BRILLIANT!!!

I cannot wait to get some ordered and sent out! And I could only hope that I get some in return to adorn my tree. I mean, what better way to display cards than on your tree (and even if you don't do trees, they can still be hung nicely on the wall, doorknob, rear view mirror, etc)?!? Like I said... BRILLIANT! If you ask me, of course. And while nobody's asking, per say, I'm still telling: I freaking LOVE the looks of these cards and cannot wait to get them in my hands to send out (and, of course, save one for us to gush over for years to come).

finally Mom

make it a happy one

a moment from the day in the life of a 2 year old

Lovetastical Listicle

Mom Story

Things I've learned this week.

10 years

Wordless Wednesday: Boxed in

PYHO: done

All that Matters

Passions: the Listicle

Party Time photo challenge

Things I've learned this week.

oh womanhood

PYHO: blech

friendship

January favorite

wanna pork?

pictures don't really match the words but whatever.

fierce

top 10 Life Stories

WW: Zip line fun

wow wow Lovie

before 40

just a personal opinion but...

someone's feeling MUCH better

Tis the Season

TAKE ACTION!

Dear Bryan Adams,

oh hey.

How To: Art Masterpiece

stop the bitchen

ummm...

10 in 10 on 10

in one week

Randoms

Party recap

Bounce this.

everybody craaaazy shake!

the great escape

This is one of those things that I do NOT want to know.

Come Play with Me: 5

Changing perfection

2

New Year, New Toys!

New Year's Eve

Waking up to balloons

December 29, 2011

Happy Happy Birthday

you're only a day away

December Favorite

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

top 10 till 2 continues

top 10 till 2 continues

top 10 till 2 continues

top 10 countdown to 2 continues

boo lights

top 10 countdown to 2

Cool. to the I and O. is Coolio. Yo!

Merry Whackadoo to You!

All I want for Christmas (and never got)

Come Play with Me: 4

When Every Single Year Ends

a day in the life of (when we're home): The Listicle

Santa Baby

Come play with me: 3

Not much has changed, really. Yet lots has. Hmm.

Come Play with Me: 2

Kermit

Christmastime is here!

Wish Listicle

untricky sticky buns

Favorite November photo

Come play with me: 1

Holiday Card CHALLENGE

Wordy Wednesday: Yesterday

Mama

Oh Thanksgiving weekend

Happy Thanksgiving!

LOVE